TF01 107

Ying Ming was still able to stay upright after the first glass.

But when the next one spun toward him and he lifted it again, just one sip was enough to make him nearly vomit on the spot. His stomach churned like a storm-tossed sea, and he could feel the alcohol rising to the back of his throat. Instinctively, he braced himself against the table, breathing deeply for a while before lifting the glass again. Dong Xiao’s expression shifted drastically as he reached out to stop him, but he was a second too late.

Ying Ming downed the entire drink in one go, his complexion as pale as death.

No one in the room had expected him to actually go through with it. For a moment, the whole table fell silent, and then that so-called department head, the one who had been pushing drinks on him nonstop, clapped his hands with a smile. “Good!”

The scattered applause finally cut through the tense and awkward atmosphere. Ying Ming slumped in his seat, eyes glazed over as he stared at the constant back-and-forth of flattery around him. Every now and then, someone would address him directly, and he would respond with a perfunctory nod and smile. But most of the time, he could not even make out what they were saying. Sweat poured from his body, and the growing urge to purge the alcohol burning through his system was driving him to the edge of madness.

At last, unable to endure it any longer, he stood up and tapped Dong Xiao on the arm. He did not care what looks followed him, whether they were mocking or something else. He pushed the door open and walked out.

The moment the door shut behind him, his knees buckled and he collapsed.

But instead of hitting the cold hard floor, he fell into someone’s arms.

Shi Yi caught him firmly. The heavy reek of alcohol between them felt even more oppressive in the hallway.

“Are you all right? Can you still stand?”

But Ying Ming had no way to answer him. He waved a trembling hand and pointed toward the bathroom. His face was ashen.

Shi Yi half-carried, half-dragged him in that direction. The moment he opened the stall door, Ying Ming finally lost control and threw up.

Probably no one but Shi Yi had ever seen him this wretched.

Despite how much he had drunk, Ying Ming’s mind remained sharp. It was just that his limbs no longer obeyed him, and the alcohol wreaking havoc inside him had wrung him dry. No amount of mental discipline could keep the physical nausea at bay.

Shi Yi stayed behind him the whole time, pulling out a few tissues and handing them over. Then he glanced toward the door, debating whether he should go get Ying Ming some water.

Ying Ming had barely eaten anything the entire evening. His stomach was filled with nothing but alcohol. Now that he had thrown it up, he actually felt somewhat better. Leaning against the stall door for support, he closed his eyes in exhaustion and muttered under his breath, “Fucking hell… this is awful.”

It had been a long time since he had drunk himself into this state.

Shi Yi dampened his own scarf and handed it over for Ying Ming to wipe his face. The two of them stared at each other in silence for a brief moment before Ying Ming frowned faintly and asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Business dinner.”

The cramped stall, saturated with the stench of vomit and alcohol, made it hard to stay inside. Shi Yi helped him out, and they leaned against the wall together.

Shi Yi glanced at him and asked, “How have you been lately?”

Ying Ming did not have the energy to engage. He just turned to give Shi Yi a look, then immediately stumbled back toward the restroom. Shi Yi waited outside. It was five minutes before Ying Ming reappeared, using the doorframe to steady himself as he made his way to the sink. He rinsed his mouth with cold water.

Shi Yi handed him a cup of warm water. “Feeling any better?”

Ying Ming took a sip. “Shi Yi…” He looked weary. “Can we not pretend to be like those assholes in the other room? If you’ve got something to say, just say it.”

He had no patience for small talk tonight.

All the nonsense he had endured already had worn him thin. He was in no mood for whatever routine Shi Yi wanted to run on him now.

Shi Yi did not argue. He simply looked at him. “Mingzi…”

That name startled Ying Ming a little. He raised his head slightly, and Shi Yi gave a soft smile. “I missed you.”

For a moment, Ying Ming had the urge to throw the cup in his hand straight at Shi Yi’s face.

But this was neither the time nor the place. He lowered his eyes and turned to leave in embarrassment.

Shi Yi caught him by the arm. “Mingzi.”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Ying Ming’s voice lacked conviction. His body felt unsteady, his head heavy and limbs sluggish. Just seeing Shi Yi made it worse. Every nerve in his body was on edge. He wanted nothing more than to grab someone and beat them senseless, but he had no strength left.

They were alone in the corridor. From behind closed doors came the muffled shouting and drunken chaos of other private rooms. Ying Ming did not want to linger any longer, did not want to become a spectacle if someone opened a door. Irritation surged in his chest. He shoved Shi Yi’s hand away. “If you’ve got something to say, pick another place.”

But this time, the man gripping his arm did not let go.

Shi Yi turned Ying Ming around and pressed him against the wall, using his own body and the solid surface to keep Ying Ming upright. The man was clearly on the verge of collapse, yet Shi Yi did not care if someone might walk out at any moment. He leaned his head against Ying Ming’s shoulder, his voice drifting like a breathless murmur. “Ying Ming, I missed you so much…”

Ying Ming’s head was pounding, a relentless roar like fighter jets strafing through his skull. Nothing inside his mind felt intact. He seized Shi Yi by the collar in a burst of fury, jerking him forward like he wanted to tear him away. The numbness from the alcohol had left his nerves ungovernable, and the fury that erupted from him was something he would never have uttered while sober. “Get off! You didn’t even fucking pick up the phone!”

For so many nights now, Ying Ming had been going over everything between them in his mind.

From the moment they first met, he thought most of it had faded into vague memory. But now, every scene returned with stunning clarity. The awkward distance they kept at first, the rally race that had kept them up for days, all the chaos that followed, and then Shi Yi asking to break up. Replaying it all felt like watching a film. But the screening had ended, the audience was gone, and he was still stuck in his seat like a fool who could not move on.

“Shi Yi…”

He bit down on the name like he needed to grind it to dust. His hand clamped onto Shi Yi’s collar in a death grip, as if he could shove every last ounce of his misery into the man standing before him.

He had so many things he had planned to say.

If he ever ran into Shi Yi again, Ying Ming had told himself he would curse him out first, then beat him senseless. When he was done, he would beat him again, and only after he was satisfied would he kick him to the curb.

And now that moment had come. He was in complete shambles, and the bastard had the nerve to lean against him and act pitiful.

Fuck.

The fire inside him surged higher and higher. In his rage, Ying Ming actually felt a bit more sober. He grabbed Shi Yi by the hair, not caring how hard he pulled, and threw a solid punch.

Shi Yi did not dodge. Ying Ming could feel the blunt impact reverberate through his own hand. Shi Yi staggered back two steps before he steadied himself, adjusted his glasses, and looked at Ying Ming, who was barely holding himself up against the wall. He licked the stinging corner of his mouth.

Then he smiled. “Ying Ming, are you worried about me?”

That single sentence detonated like a bomb, shattering whatever reason Ying Ming still had left. He pulled Shi Yi into the restroom behind them, slammed the door shut with one savage kick, and wrapped his arm around the man’s neck like a noose.

When a man’s violent instincts are triggered, there is a kind of madness in him.

Shi Yi’s face flushed with red from suffocation. Ying Ming’s eyes were unfocused, his entire mind clouded by rage. All that was left in him was the need to release it. Time seemed to slow to a crawl. Shi Yi could feel the air thinning around him, the pressure tightening, and his vision beginning to blur. Through the blood-red haze, the figure in front of him looked almost disturbingly alluring. Shi Yi lifted his head with difficulty, trying to buy himself a few seconds, and fixed his gaze on Ying Ming. There was something in his eyes he could not name, something even he had not realized was there.

Ying Ming watched as the veins bulged along Shi Yi’s throat, saw him force a smile despite it all, and only then did he seem to wake from a trance. He released his grip.

They both stumbled apart, breathing hard, equally disheveled.

Ying Ming was stunned. He had not expected himself to lose control like that. For a long moment, he was dazed by what he had just done. But Shi Yi, after regaining his breath, managed a small smile and reached out to steady him.

“If you’d really choked me to death just now, maybe that would’ve been a neat ending for the two of us.”

Ying Ming, utterly drained, just shot him a glare and said nothing.

Shi Yi had done it deliberately.

Half of it was self-inflicted punishment, the other half was an attempt to provoke Ying Ming into letting out everything he had been holding in. All this time, Ying Ming had been the one leading him. Maybe it was because, emotionally, the two of them were never truly on the same level. Shi Yi often did not even understand what was wrong with himself, yet Ying Ming could always see it clearly. And because of that imbalance, Ying Ming had unknowingly become the one who bore the greater weight.

Not only his own struggles, but also the burden of stabilizing Shi Yi.

That was something Shi Yi had only begun to realize recently. Even though they had not seen each other since then, he could not stop replaying the expression on Ying Ming’s face when he brought up the breakup. Every detail of that moment was burned into his mind like a brand. He could not stop thinking about it.

He had lost his father. In the aftermath, he had done everything he could to make up for the guilt and regret left in the void. He had nearly lost Ying Ming too. The fear of that loss had kept him up through the nights, thinking and rethinking everything.

Even the words his mother never said aloud, he knew exactly what they meant.

If it had been in the past, or if it had been anyone else, then perhaps the only choice would have been to end the relationship in order to preserve a balance that had already been teetering on the edge.

But in the end, he had not let his mother say the words aloud.

The guilt he carried toward his parents would never be erased. That was already a fact carved into his life. No matter how much he regretted it or how much it grieved him, he would carry that burden for the rest of his days. The only thing he could do now was ensure that his family would never again have to worry for him or shoulder more of the weight. He had lived more than twenty years thinking he was clear-headed, but in truth he had been fumbling all along. It was not until the death of his father that he truly understood how he should live from this point forward.

Pulling Ying Ming against his shoulder, Shi Yi held him there and closed his eyes, letting out a long, weary breath.

“It might be a little late, but I’ve figured it out now.”

His voice caught slightly. No matter how Ying Ming struggled, he refused to let him pull away.

“Forget what I said to you that day.”

Their breaths landed against each other’s faces, close enough to feel the heat. Shi Yi could no longer hide the remorse on his face.

“Ying Ming… I’m sorry.”

He was the one who had broken their promise first. Back when he said those words, he had spoken with such certainty, only to end up abandoning them all the same.

Ying Ming gripped the wrist pressing down on his head, pouring what little strength he had into that grip. In the silence that followed, there was a fire simmering under the surface. He let out a cold sound through his nose, then ground out the words through clenched teeth.

“Save your breath.”

This debt, he would make sure Shi Yi paid it back, sooner or later.