ABOES 64: Do You Want To Hug Me?

Their hug didn’t last long. Chi Yunxing didn’t dare to let it go on for too long, he was afraid he’d get lost in it if he wasn’t careful.

After letting go, he avoided looking at Duan Zhiyan’s expression and lowered his head. “Let’s go inside.”

Duan Zhiyan acted like he didn’t notice Chi Yunxing’s discomfort and nodded. “Okay.”

The housekeeper, who had been waiting nearby, came over once they were inside and asked what the two would like to eat.

Chi Yunxing turned to Duan Zhiyan. “Have you eaten yet, Zhiyan Ge?”

Duan Zhiyan shook his head. “No.”

Chi Yunxing’s eyes lit up slightly. “Perfect, I haven’t either. I’ll cook lunch, then?”

Duan Zhiyan seemed a little surprised. “You’re really going to cook for me?”

“I already promised you, didn’t I?” Chi Yunxing smiled. “You go to rest for a bit. It’ll be ready soon.”

Duan Zhiyan didn’t rest. He followed Chi Yunxing into the kitchen instead.

Chi Yunxing glanced at him but said nothing, he just smiled a little brighter.

Considering Duan Zhiyan had just been discharged from the hospital, Chi Yunxing kept the dishes light and even made a pork rib soup.

After watching for a while, Duan Zhiyan finally couldn’t help asking, “You’re not adding any chili at all?”

Unlike Chi Yunxing, who couldn’t eat spicy food, Duan Zhiyan had a strong tolerance.

“You just got out of the hospital,” Chi Yunxing replied.

Duan Zhiyan chuckled. “Yunxing, I was getting treated for psychological issues, not stomach problems.”

Chi Yunxing: “…”

His face flushed bright red. After a moment, he mumbled, “But you do have a stomach problem… and with that, you should eat less spicy food.”

Duan Zhiyan paused, then turned and opened the fridge, pulling out a container of what looked like fairly mild green peppers. He handed it to Chi Yunxing. “Just a little, okay?”

Their distance suddenly felt too close. Chi Yunxing stared at Duan Zhiyan’s slender fingers for two seconds before slowly looking up.

Duan Zhiyan’s lashes were long. With his eyes lowered, the light cast soft shadows beneath his lids, and his usual deep voice now dipped even lower, like a lover’s whisper. “Just a little, alright?”

That voice sent a jolt through Chi Yunxing’s chest. Flustered, he quickly took the chili and forced himself to say, “Only a little!”

Duan Zhiyan grinned brightly. “Sure. After all, you can’t handle spicy food.”

Chi Yunxing turned away, rubbed his flushed face, and tossed a few peppers into the pot.

Duan Zhiyan’s smile widened even more.

…

By the time they finished eating, it was already four in the afternoon.

“Do you have filming tonight?” Duan Zhiyan asked.

Chi Yunxing nodded. “A night shoot around eight.”

“Then I’ll go with you later.”

Chi Yunxing looked at him. “Why? You just got out of the hospital. You should rest more. What’s the rush?”

“I feel much better now,” Duan Zhiyan said. “Besides, you’ve only got about half a month before school starts, right?”

Chi Yunxing frowned. “Your health is still more important.”

Duan Zhiyan laughed lightly and couldn’t resist reaching out to ruffle Chi Yunxing’s soft hair. “Yunxing, I know my body. You don’t have to worry so much.”

His fingers brushed through Chi Yunxing’s hair, sending a soft tingle across his scalp.

Chi Yunxing suppressed a shiver. He didn’t pull away, but under his hair, his ears were flushed again.

“…Alright,” After a long pause, Chi Yunxing muttered, “But if you feel unwell, you have to tell me.”

Duan Zhiyan nodded without hesitation. “Okay.”

With nothing to do that afternoon, Duan Zhiyan felt a little tired and went to rest in the guest room. Chi Yunxing also returned to his room.

Originally, Chi Yunxing had planned to read his script during this time.

But—He snapped the script shut and pressed a hand to his burning face. How could he possibly focus?

Only when he was alone did Chi Yunxing dare to think about his feelings for Duan Zhiyan.

Was this… love?

It had to be, right?

If not, why has he been so affected by Duan Zhiyan lately?

Just the thought of him had made it impossible to concentrate on filming.

But they’d only known each other for two months! Or perhaps not even two full months—at least, not from the time Chi Yunxing could remember.

If it wasn’t love, then what was it?

Friendship?

Chi Yunxing thought of Zhou Ping. If Zhou Ping had said he wanted to eat his cooking, Chi Yunxing would’ve just taken him to a restaurant.

Brotherhood?

Then how can he explain the blushing and racing heart? Even back when he was with Xia Huaiming, he had never felt this way.

It was only now that Chi Yunxing realized he had never actually liked Xia Huaiming.

In his past life, he slowly accepted Xia Huaiming simply because, at the time, Xia Huaiming was one of the few people who treated him well.

Back then, he’d mistaken gratitude for affection and blindly walked the wrong path.

So… did that mean Duan Zhiyan was the first person he had truly liked?

The thought made Chi Yunxing’s face burn even hotter.

He’d never liked anyone before, so this was all new. While he was undeniably excited, he was also a little lost.

What was he supposed to do now?

Confess?

That thought got shut down immediately.

No, he still didn’t know how Duan Zhiyan felt. If he confessed recklessly…

Chi Yunxing bit his lip. He wasn’t afraid of being rejected. He was afraid Duan Zhiyan would pull away from him.

So the best move for now was to stay still.

Until the time was right, he would have to keep this affection locked away. A secret, not to be told.

But he couldn’t really do nothing.

Someone like Duan Zhiyan was bound to have admirers. If Chi Yunxing sat on his hands, what if someone else got to him first?

Just the thought of that made Chi Yunxing frown and his heart twist uncomfortably.

No way.

Unless Duan Zhiyan explicitly rejected him, he wasn’t going to give up so easily.

With that thought, Chi Yunxing felt a wave of urgency.

How was he supposed to make a move when he didn’t know enough about Duan Zhiyan?

After some thought, Chi Yunxing could only think of one person.He pulled out his phone, opened WeChat, and sent a message to Chi Xiwen.

[Chi Yunxing: Ge, have you ever been in a relationship?]

He couldn’t be too obvious or Chi Xiwen would suspect something. So he played it casually.

Chi Xiwen had just come out of a meeting when he saw the word “relationship” pop up on his screen, and his head immediately ached.

He replied without thinking.

[Chi Xiwen: Did Mom start nagging you to push me into marriage again?]

Chi Yunxing quickly clarified.

[Chi Yunxing: No, I was just curious!]

Xiwen relaxed a little.

[Chi Xiwen: Nope. Why do you ask?]

[Chi Yunxing: ???]

[Chi Yunxing: You’re twenty-seven and you’ve never dated anyone?]

[Chi Xiwen: ????]

Chi Yunxing, sincerely sent. 

[Chi Yunxing: Ge, I think it’s time you found someone.]

[Chi Xiwen: …]

[Chi Yunxing: I’m not saying you have to get married or anything, but you really shouldn’t bury yourself in work all the time. You need a life too.]

[Chi Xiwen: ???]

[Chi Xiwen: Why are you only saying this to me? Why not lecture Duan Zhiyan too? At least I had a crush in high school! He’s been single since birth!]

Chi Yunxing hadn’t expected to get the answer he wanted so easily. His lips curled into a grin, though he did feel a little guilty.

Was that last remark… too much?

[Chi Yunxing: Sorry, Ge. I was just messing around. Don’t get mad, okay?]

Of course Xiwen wasn’t really angry. He was used to being nagged about marriage.

[Chi Xiwen: Why would I be mad? Just stop talking about love and marriage in front of me and I’ll be thrilled!]

Chi Yunxing chuckled.

A moment later, Chi Xiwen added.

[Chi Xiwen: Wait, why are you asking about this all of a sudden?]

Chi Yunxing had already prepared a reason.

[Chi Yunxing: I’m filming a romance drama, remember? The crew was talking about it the other day and I got curious.]

[Chi Xiwen: Love isn’t something you can force. It just happens naturally.]

Then he added,

[Chi Xiwen: But if you do fall in love, promise me you’ll tell us. Don’t get yourself hurt again.]

Chi Yunxing’s smile deepened.

[Chi Yunxing: I will, I promise!]

After sending the message, he couldn’t help but wonder. If he really did end up with Duan Zhiyan, how would his brother react?

Probably relieved, right?

After all, Duan Zhiyan and Chi Xiwen grew up together.

…

Chi Yunxing and Duan Zhiyan appearing together on set caused quite a stir.

Many staff members couldn’t help but greet Duan Zhiyan when they saw him. “Teacher Duan, are you feeling better?”

Duan Zhiyan smiled warmly. “Much better, thank you for asking.”

Even Director Li Chao rushed over. “Teacher Duan, what are you doing back on set?”

Duan Zhiyan smiled. “I was discharged today, and since Yunxing had a shoot, I thought I’d come along.”

Li Chao frowned disapprovingly. “You should be resting a few more days. There’s no rush for filming!”

Duan Zhiyan replied, “It’s fine. I’ve recovered quite a bit. I can resume filming tomorrow.”

Li Chao wanted to protest again, but Duan Zhiyan shot a glance at He You beside him.

So He You quickly pulled Li Chao aside to distract him with a chat.

Chi Yunxing still had scenes to shoot, so he didn’t stick around to chat. He turned and headed to the dressing room to get his makeup and costume ready.

That evening’s scene was a pivotal one. The male and female leads finally confirm their feelings for each other.

After three years of secretly pining in high school, Wu Xiao and Jiang Jin both ended up at the same university. Yet Wu Xiao still didn’t know how Jiang Jin felt about her.

So all she could do was watch him from afar, too afraid to express her heart.

Chi Yunxing had read this scene long ago. He had even read the famous passage in the novel.

Back then, he didn’t understand what it meant to like someone, didn’t know what love truly was. He had simply been a bystander, cheering for the leads’ relationship.

Yet now, watching this scene again, Chi Yunxing suddenly found himself able to empathize.

Love is a strange thing.

When you don’t understand it, no matter how many ways people try to explain it, you won’t get it.

Once you experience it for yourself, no explanation is needed. Sometimes, just one unintentional smile from the one you love is enough to taste all the sweetness and bitterness life has to offer.

Jiang Jin finally gathered the courage to confess to Wu Xiao in their sophomore year.

Ning Chu and Wu Xiao had known each other since childhood. Those around them often joked that they were childhood sweethearts.

But only the two of them knew that despite growing up together, they would always just be friends.

In an era where same-sex love wasn’t widely accepted, Ning Chu couldn’t just tell people he liked boys. So he and Wu Xiao could never be.

And every time Jiang Jin saw the two of them so close, jealousy would rise in his chest.

Most of the time, Jiang Jin could endure it. But this time, Wu Xiao got drunk at a department gathering, and Ning Chu offered to take her home. Wu Xiao glanced at Jiang Jin with her hazy eyes and didn’t refuse.

As the two of them left together, the room behind them burst into playful teasing.

“They’re practically a couple already. No way they’re not ending up together.”

“Right? Childhood friends, meant to be.”

“So lucky.”

“Wu Xiao must be so happy…”

Jiang Jin suddenly stood up, startling those around him.

“Jiang Jin? What’s wrong?”

He was in a terrible mood but couldn’t lose his temper. Holding back, he said, “I need to step out.”

He stormed out of the room.

The others exchanged looks.

“What happened to him?”

“No idea.”

“Think he’ll be okay?”

“He’s a guy. He’ll be fine.”

…

Wu Xiao, having drunk too much, felt even more miserable. Clinging to Ning Chu’s arm, she sobbed, “Ning Ning, how do I make him understand how I feel…?”

“I’m so tired…”

“Do you think I should just give up?”

Ning Chu couldn’t help but think of the person he held in his heart.

He gave a bitter smile, then said hoarsely, “Xiao Xiao, I don’t have an answer either. I’m just as lost as you are.”

Wu Xiao’s eyes reddened further. “You… you’re not going to tell him?”

Ning Chu shook his head. “Unless I’m sure he feels the same, I can’t reveal anything. I’m scared that if I act rashly, we won’t even be friends anymore.”

Wu Xiao grew even sadder and said, wronged, “But you can’t just do nothing…”

According to the script, this was the point where Ning Chu should quietly shake his head and say no more.

Chi Yunxing suddenly looked up, gazing into the distance, as if he saw something in the crowd. A faint smile curved his lips, and his voice, quiet but firm, seemed meant for someone beyond the camera. “I will do something.”

Behind the monitor, both Duan Zhiyan and Li Chao paused in surprise.

They knew the script inside and out, yet neither of them called it cut.

Even Song Ya was caught off guard by the unscripted line. She blinked, confused, and instinctively asked, “What?”

Chi Yunxing lowered his gaze. “Nothing.”

Just then, Jiang Jin finally arrived and shouted, “Wu Xiao!”

Both of them turned to look.

Then and only then did Li Chao call, “Cut!”

Before Li Chao could speak, Chi Yunxing quickly approached him and apologized, “Sorry, Director Li, I think I ad-libbed a line.”

Li Chao was just about to respond when Duan Zhiyan said, “It’s fine. That line was great.”

Chi Yunxing’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

Duan Zhiyan nodded. “If you’ve read the original novel closely, you’d know. Ning Chu isn’t content to keep his feelings to himself forever. That line captured the subtle resistance in his heart perfectly.”

Li Chao nodded too. “Exactly, it really worked.”

Chi Yunxing’s smile grew, and his ears turned faintly red.

He often heard Duan Zhiyan praise him, but now that he was aware of his feelings for the man, this praise hit differently.

It felt sweet—so sweet, in fact, that he didn’t notice the shadow that had crossed Duan Zhiyan’s eyes.

The next day.

Because Duan Zhiyan insisted on returning to filming, Li Chao had no choice but to give him a schedule.

To ease him back into it, the first day’s scenes were relatively light but that didn’t last long. The very next day, Chi Yunxing finished filming all his scenes except for the kissing scenes.

In other words, all his remaining scenes were with Duan Zhiyan.

And all of them… were kisses.

Just thinking about it made Chi Yunxing’s face burn.

Even though they’d already shot kissing scenes before, his mindset then was completely different.

Back then, he’d just been embarrassed. A little awkward.

But now… Now he felt… anticipation.

Before filming, Duan Zhiyan came over as usual to rehearse with him.

Ning Chu and Xu Li’s second kiss also happened on a rainy day.

Xu Li hadn’t been able to find Ning Chu. That day, the rain was pouring down and he didn’t even leave the campus.

Jiang Jin found him wandering and brought him back to the dorm. He urged Xu Li to shower, but the man just sat there, motionless.

Like he had the soul sucked out of him, unresponsive to anything.

Worried he might collapse, Jiang Jin dragged him into the bathroom.

He turned on the hot water and pushed Xu Li under the heat lamp.

The hot water ran down his scalp, and finally Xu Li snapped out of it.

He didn’t know how long he’d stood there. All he knew was that by the time he came to, his face was soaked with tears.

From the bathroom came the sound of a man sobbing in pain.

Jiang Jin, after a moment of hesitation, stepped out quietly and stood at the dorm door, giving him space.

No one knew how much time passed.

Then suddenly, Jiang Jin heard footsteps approaching.

He looked up and saw Ning Chu, drenched and dragging a suitcase toward the dorm.

Their eyes met. Jiang Jin was shocked. “Ning Chu, you…”

Ning Chu blinked, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

Jiang Jin quickly explained what had happened. Ning Chu went blank for a moment.

Then he repeated the key part. “You said… Xu Li couldn’t find me, and now he’s crying in the shower?”

Jiang Jin paused, then said, “That’s one way to put it but why are you back?”

Ning Chu looked irritated. “It’s pouring. The city’s flooded. My train was delayed and I couldn’t leave!”

He pushed open the dorm room door and, sure enough, he saw a big wet patch on the floor.

He set down his suitcase and turned to Jiang Jin. “Thanks. I’ll handle it from here.”

Jiang Jin knew about their situation from Wu Xiao. Though he was still worried, this wasn’t the time to intrude.

“I’ll go call Wu Xiao.”

“Thank you,” Ning Chu said.

Once Jiang Jin was gone, Ning Chu closed the door and collapsed onto the floor.

What now?

Everything had gone off script. For the first time, he had no idea what to do.

As he sat there, the bathroom door opened.

Ning Chu looked up, right into Xu Li’s bloodshot eyes.

They both froze.

Maybe he’d assumed no one would be around, so Xu Li came out wearing only a bathrobe.

His chest was half exposed, droplets of water tracing down his defined abs and vanishing into the shadows of his V-line.

Chi Yunxing’s gaze drifted to Duan Zhiyan’s abdomen for a couple of seconds then his ears turned red.

Too… sexy.

Wait. He was breaking character!

But Director Li hadn’t called cut, so his emotion must still be on point.

Chi Yunxing gave himself a mental pat and adjusted his focus.

“You…” He’d just spoken when Duan Zhiyan suddenly rushed forward and pulled him into his arms.

Chi Yunxing’s cool body crashed into a warm chest. With only a thin layer of fabric between them, they were practically pressed skin to skin.

“You left before I could explain!” Duan Zhiyan buried his face against Chi Yunxing’s neck. A droplet of warm water fell onto his earlobe.

Chi Yunxing shivered. 

He remembered his line and forced a smile. “I… I came back, didn’t I?”

“I need time, Ning Chu—I need time…” Duan Zhiyan said hoarsely.

Chi Yunxing reminded himself they were still acting. It took everything he had not to melt into Duan Zhiyan’s embrace.

He reached out, trying to push him away. “You’re acting weird today… Let go.”

“I’m perfectly normal.” Duan Zhiyan’s arms only tightened.

Chi Yunxing couldn’t break free. Resigned, he said, “Xu Li, you know how I feel about you, right? And you’re still holding me this close?”

Duan Zhiyan’s voice cracked. “Of course I know. I… I just wanted to hold you.”

Chi Yunxing’s lashes lowered slightly. “You want to hold me… but don’t you want to ask me if I’m okay with it? Let go.”

Xu Li didn’t dare push too far. He released him.

Right now, the one in front of Chi Yunxing was Xu Li, not Duan Zhiyan.

Yet he couldn’t stop his mind from thinking otherwise.

This was Duan Zhiyan. The one he liked.

Chi Yunxing stared into his deep eyes, face flushed, breathing warm and heavy but he didn’t pull back.

He leaned forward and planted a reverent kiss at the corner of Duan Zhiyan’s lips. Then, rising slightly, their breaths mingling, he whispered, “You want to hold me. But all I want—”

“Is to kiss you.”

Xu Li tried to pull away.

Chi Yunxing wrapped his arms around his neck, refusing to let go, deepening the kiss with abandon.

His breath came faster, his heart pounding louder.

Because this time, he wasn’t Ning Chu.

He was Chi Yunxing.

And he had kissed Duan Zhiyan.