F15
by BIBISiwoo had volunteered to go around to the other departments’ rooms as the representative of his major to accept drinks on their behalf for one reason only: to infiltrate Room 612, where Joo Yeonho was.
Both the engineering and PE departments were full of men, but the atmosphere in each was different. Both made it hard to breathe, just in different ways. If he had to distinguish between them, the PE side felt more dangerous hormonally, while the engineering side was more suffocating mentally.
The moment Yeonho’s eyes met his, Yeonho frantically shook his head. Siwoo could guess well enough what had happened in the room and what Yeonho was desperately trying to deny. He didn’t believe Yeonho had willingly walked into this situation knowing what would happen.
With his socks and sweater stripped off, Yeonho was trembling in disheveled clothes, looking like a helpless fawn tossed into a den of predators. Siwoo’s guilt grew heavy. He was the one who had ultimately allowed this situation to happen.
He draped the sweater over Yeonho’s shoulders. It was his way of saying, I won’t let you be forced into something you don’t want. Perhaps that message had gotten through, because Yeonho leaned into him, as if seeking support.
Letting Yeonho rest against him, Siwoo picked up the shot of soju that had been poured for Yeonho and drank it in one gulp.
Not long after, the entire room was filled with people collapsed like zombies, their limbs twitching feebly. Despite having downed three bottles of soju, Siwoo’s expression and tone were completely steady. Calmly, as if nothing had happened, he said,
“Let’s go.”
He stuffed the socks rolling on the floor into his pocket and lifted Yeonho to his feet. Yeonho blinked slowly, his eyes red, and swayed unsteadily. As he slung Yeonho onto his back and carried him out, Siwoo spoke quietly,
“If you’d taken off all your clothes, what do you think would’ve come next?”
“I… I was thoughtless and immature…”
“I wasn’t blaming you. I’m saying minors and adults are different. You need to be careful. No one will protect you or take responsibility if something happens.”
At the tenderness in Siwoo’s voice, Yeonho’s trembling eased. With his tension fading, he drifted off to sleep, breathing softly. Not knowing which room Yeonho had been assigned to, Siwoo took him back to his own room, 415.
Thankfully, his roommates had gone to 414 to drink, so 415 was dark and empty. Casting a disapproving glance at the messy living room, Siwoo laid Yeonho down neatly on the cleanest bed. Then he slumped to the floor in relief, overwhelmed that nothing worse had happened to Yeonho.
Though raised with the strict philosophy never to empathize with others’ pain, Siwoo found himself imagining what Yeonho must have felt. He had been trained not to let emotions like that affect him, but it wasn’t working.
Yeonho had shocked him like an electric jolt, and the self that his parents had carefully constructed was beginning to fall apart. What was emerging from beneath was the real Kim Siwoo, a person with warmth, empathy, and gentleness.
“I’m sorry. I should’ve stopped you from going.”
Yeonho, fast asleep, didn’t hear his whisper.
Contaminated in body and spirit by what he had seen in Room 612, Siwoo covered Yeonho with a blanket and took a shower. When he came back clean, Yeonho was awake and sitting against the wall. As soon as their eyes met, Yeonho smiled shyly. Siwoo ignored the smile and gestured.
“Go back to your room now.”
Expecting that, Yeonho had already prepared a reason to stay.
“If I go back, they’ll make me drink again. Our department isn’t exactly light on drinking either. Since I left, they’ll probably make me catch up. They won’t tell me to strip, but still.”
That was enough for Siwoo to decide he couldn’t send him back. He told himself he was just hiding Yeonho in the safest place possible.
“Then stay here until everyone falls asleep. That’s what I usually do.”
“Thank you.”
Bowing politely, Yeonho reached out his hand toward Siwoo as if to give him something. Siwoo leaned in and held out his palm. Yeonho placed a small capsule toy into it.
“It’s a birthday present. I went down to the first floor and got it while you were showering.”
“How did you know it was my birthday?”
“After I got scolded this morning, I overheard you on the phone by chance. I swear I wasn’t eavesdropping on purpose. Please believe me.”
That was a lie. He had listened on purpose. But wasn’t that kind of lie forgivable? As he tried to justify it to himself, his forehead turned red with embarrassment.
“Happy birthday.”
Siwoo opened the capsule and examined the toy. It was a puppy with big ears. Cute.
He vaguely remembered wanting something like this as a child, but his parents never allowed it, so he’d never owned a single one. By the time he was old enough to buy toys for himself, he no longer even looked at them. But now, holding it in his hand, he felt as though a small hole inside him had been gently filled.
“Thank you, Yeonho-ssi1“씨” (ssi) is a polite honorific suffix.”
He called out the name that made up half of his own identity. To speak his own name as if it belonged to someone else was a strange experience. It made him feel like he was Yeonho, and Yeonho was him. The feeling was oddly moving.
The balance between Kim Yeonho and Kim Siwoo, which had tilted slightly toward Siwoo, now settled into perfect equilibrium. It was the moment he began to feel affection for the name Yeonho.
Yeonho felt warmth from the way Siwoo called him “Yeonho-ssi.” It was a form of address he wasn’t used to as a new college student, and being treated like an adult that way made him secretly happy. He found himself wishing Siwoo would keep calling him that. As he shifted his heavy body, he said,
“I want to wash up too. Can I use the bathroom here?”
“I’ll get you clothes and a towel.”
Siwoo pulled a T-shirt, a pair of gray sweatpants, and some underwear from his suitcase. He also picked up a new toothbrush that was rolling around the room.
“The underwear’s new. But this is the only T-shirt I have left.”
The white sweatshirt Siwoo handed him had “KIM YEONHO” printed in English on the front. It had been part of a required order for the department. Yeonho hugged the shirt to his chest, his eyes shining.
“I love it. Kim Yeonho is Joo Yeonho, and Joo Yeonho is Kim Yeonho, right?”
Underwear, sweatpants, and a T-shirt with that man’s name. Yeonho wanted to shout in joy at the situation unfolding around him but did his best to contain himself.
While Yeonho showered, Siwoo cleaned up the messy living room, throwing out bottles, tossing the leftover snacks, even doing the dishes. As the tension faded, the alcohol finally hit him, and drowsiness followed. Leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes and dozed off.
When he woke with his head drooping, a damp Yeonho was sitting in front of him, silently watching. His hair was still wet. Fresh and pale, Joo Yeonho.
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
“No. I just dozed off. I’m not planning to sleep yet.”
“Hmm… Then should we play a game? I’m awake too.”
Yeonho got up and rummaged around the room, eventually pulling a Jenga set out of the corner. Siwoo figured playing along wouldn’t be so bad. He reached out to help rebuild the scattered tower, but both of them stopped when they saw what was written on the wooden blocks.
Yeonho’s eyes widened as he asked,
“…Did you play this with the freshmen?”
[Grind your hips together for 5 minutes ♥]
[Blindfold your partner and caress them for 1 minute ♥]
Siwoo, flustered, quickly defended himself.
“No! Of course not! I was going to use this for, like, architectural building. Jenga’s about weight distribution, you know?”
Spouting nonsense, Siwoo shoved the Jenga blocks back in the box and made a clear line between himself and the filth.
“Who brought this crap? They’re not even human. We don’t play this kind of stuff.”
“You really surprised me. You seem so elegant on the outside. I didn’t know you were doing this behind the scenes.”
Yeonho pretended to gasp in shock, placing a hand dramatically on his chest. Siwoo hastily swept up the blocks and said,
“I told you, this campus is full of weirdos. You have to be careful. Don’t trust anyone. Not even me.”
And then he realized, after what Yeonho had just gone through, maybe it was time to teach him again just how dangerous “nights with alcohol and adults” could be.
“What if I were a crazy bastard who told you to do this?”
He held up a block with the crude command:
[Kiss every vertebra down your partner’s spine ♥]
Yeonho tilted his head and fell into thought. If Siwoo had wanted to play this kind of game… well, that would change things. He instantly shifted to a more positive view. Locking eyes with Siwoo, he said,
“If you asked… I probably would’ve done it.”
It was the alcohol talking. But it wasn’t a lie. It took a bit of courage to say, and his cheeks turned red from embarrassment.
The air turned heavy in an instant. Avoiding Yeonho’s unguarded gaze, Siwoo finished putting the blocks away and muttered,
“I must’ve been out of my mind. I went to rescue someone who enjoys taking their clothes off.”
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