F81

After drying his hair completely, Yeonho carefully climbed onto the bed. He wore nothing but a loose T-shirt and sat facing Siwoo at a slight distance, curling his body into a small ball.

Back when their love had burned hot, he would climb onto Siwoo’s lap after drying his hair, throw his arms around his neck, and shower him with kisses. But he couldn’t do that anymore. It had been a long time since he lost the right to want Siwoo that way.

Siwoo lowered his gaze, watching Yeonho as he handed back the phone.

“Reply to Seong Junyoung. Right here in front of me.”

Yeonho took the phone and blinked, unsure of what to do. He hadn’t replied to Junyoung even once yet. And now he had to do it in front of Siwoo?

“Hyung.”

“I told you to reply. Can’t do it?”

Cornered by Siwoo’s demand, Yeonho defied him and simply turned off the phone.

“Yeah. I can’t do it in front of you.”

He just couldn’t bring himself to fake affection for someone else while Siwoo was watching. Misreading Yeonho’s intent entirely, Siwoo let out a scoff and said something completely different from what he was thinking.

“Fine. Got it. I crossed the line, didn’t I? It was just you and that guy having your little lovers’ quarrel, and I stuck my nose in again. Or wait, was I playing matchmaker this time while you both pretended not to care and just kept screwing things up?”

At that, Yeonho’s eyes flashed like a cat’s. His lips pressed tight, and a small walnut-shaped bump formed again on his tense chin.

“Is it only forbidden love that excites you? If we were blood-related, would you have never thrown me away?”

“Say everything you want to say. I’ll listen, no matter what it is.”

Even though part of Siwoo still held ten percent doubt and fear, he couldn’t stop himself from saying harsh things. He needed to see Yeonho’s reaction, to confirm his sincerity. He felt sorry for forcing Yeonho to endure this moment, but if he didn’t keep testing Yeonho’s love in times like these, he wouldn’t be able to hold himself together.

He had to believe that every little change in Yeonho’s expression was proof of love. Even if it turned out later to be nothing but delusion, so be it.

Bringing his lips close to Yeonho’s ear, Siwoo whispered in a breathless voice.

“If what you said before was true, if you really had given birth to me… then from the moment I was born until the day I died, your eyes would have only seen me.”

Yeonho gave no reply and instead imagined the scenario Siwoo described. If Siwoo really had been his child, maybe he would feel more at ease than he did now. Even if they had met as parent and child, he would still have loved him just the same. And if that child had grown up to become a man, then every day they would have…

Yeonho barely managed to hold back his answer, bowing his head to hide his flushed face and exhaling a shaky breath.

“Do whatever you want to me. I owe you something.”

“I don’t want to have sex with you.”

“…What?”

Yeonho’s eyes dropped to the towel covering Siwoo’s waist. He wasn’t hard. His chest sank.

Kim Siwoo was the kind of man who equated sex with love. No matter the situation, he had always been aroused by Yeonho’s presence, and Yeonho had taken that as proof of love. So to hear that Siwoo didn’t want to have sex felt like hearing he wasn’t loved.

“Yeah. If I were you, I wouldn’t want to sleep with me either. Sorry.”

It was the first time Yeonho had seen Siwoo not get aroused while they were in bed together. His voice sounded almost resigned.

Of course, the truth was that Siwoo had simply lost the mood after seeing Junyoung’s message. He hadn’t decided never to sleep with Yeonho again. It was more like losing his appetite from shock and stress.

Leaning against the headboard, Siwoo casually pulled away the towel wrapped around his waist and lay back.

“Then just turn me on again.”

Something shifted in Yeonho’s expression. Provoked by Siwoo’s words, he slowly uncurled his submissive posture.

Siwoo had always loved seeing Yeonho fall apart beneath him. But this time, Yeonho wanted to arouse him without even touching him, just with what Siwoo could see.

He slowly spread his legs. As always, he wore nothing under the T-shirt so Siwoo could enter him easily. Gently stroking the smooth skin of his inner thighs, he gradually slid his hand inward.

Looking Siwoo straight in the eye, he grabbed his cock and began to stroke it, he wanted to show him how aroused he was.

“Haah…”

Rubbing his erect cock with his palm, Yeonho slowly shifted his position. He raised his hips toward Siwoo, then reached back with one hand. Stroking his hole, he let Siwoo see the inside, then pushed two fingers in and forced the tight entrance open.

Watching from right in front of him, Siwoo quickly got hard, making his earlier words meaningless. He sat up, grabbed the lube, and squeezed a generous amount onto Yeonho’s ass. The cold sensation made Yeonho flinch and squeeze one eye shut.

Siwoo sat on the bed and pulled Yeonho onto his lap. With his legs wide open, he made Yeonho use his fingers again. Then he laid his own hand over Yeonho’s and pushed a finger into the already stretched entrance, digging inside with him.

“Ahh… hng!”

Twisting in Siwoo’s lap, Yeonho gasped as Siwoo whispered sweetly.

“Yeonho. Why do you keep trying to put someone else in here? Is one not enough? Can’t stand it without tasting all the guys you know? Or are you curious what a stranger’s would feel like?”

“Stop saying things like that in a nice voice. It’s creepy.”

Feeling the weight of Siwoo’s thick cock against his lower back, Yeonho finally let out a breath of relief and turned to meet his gaze. Tears clung to his eyes, and when Siwoo saw them, he flinched. Yeonho didn’t miss the moment his gaze softened and asked in a trembling voice.

“Hyung, unless I’m more disgusting than a bug…”

“…”

“Kiss me. I want to kiss you.”

Siwoo met Yeonho’s eyes and stayed still. But the moment a tear fell, confirming once again the love directed at him, he leaned in and pushed his tongue deep into Yeonho’s mouth.

“Mmph…”

Throwing his head back, Yeonho swallowed Siwoo’s saliva again and again. Siwoo began thrusting harder and faster into his bottom, making Yeonho’s thighs tremble. As Yeonho struggled to catch his breath, he gently broke the kiss.

He pulled the fingers out of his hole. Laying Siwoo down flat, Yeonho straddled him with his back turned and lowered his head. Taking Siwoo’s now fully erect cock into his mouth, he began to bob his head up and down.

Naturally, Yeonho’s ass came into view again. The entrance that had just been stretched was now red and gaping.

Siwoo pressed his face into Yeonho’s ass, inhaling deeply, then ran his tongue over the twitching hole. He sucked and licked gently, sliding his tongue inside. In response, Yeonho’s mouth on his cock grew even more eager.

He didn’t want to finish in Yeonho’s mouth. Siwoo caressed his ass and back, then shifted their positions. Once again, he pulled Yeonho onto his lap, but this time entered him from behind and pressed hard on his lower belly.

“Aaah…”

Yeonho’s thighs spasmed, tightening hard around Siwoo’s cock.

Though he rode Siwoo actively, bouncing up and down with enthusiasm, Yeonho couldn’t hide his embarrassment. When their emotions surged and their eyes met, he burst into tears again.

Finally, he lowered himself all the way down. Siwoo’s cock sank into him to the base. With glazed eyes, Yeonho leaned against his shoulder and whispered in a dazed voice.

“Hyung… I think I’d be okay dying like this…”

Siwoo felt the tight walls inside Yeonho pulse around him. Was that just a line describing the bliss of climax, or did he really mean it?

It was impossible to say when he would fully understand who Ju Yeonho really was. He was like a test question with no clear answer. Despite letting him inside his most intimate places, despite being closer than anyone else, Siwoo still had only a hazy sense of what had happened to Yeonho, what filled his thoughts, what truly lay in his heart.

Even so, Siwoo had reached one unshakable conclusion. Joo Yeonho loved Kim Siwoo. So much so that at this moment, joined together, he wanted to die like this.

***

Of course, saying he was going to quit the resort was a lie. There was no reason for him to give up the chance to be by Yeonho’s side and work with him.

Siwoo kept looking for Yeonho’s phone whenever he could, careful to avoid being caught. He had divided the apartment into zones for a methodical search. When Yeonho left the house or went in for a shower, when he went to work five minutes later or came home three minutes earlier, Siwoo used those moments to search.

The day he had told Yeonho would be his resignation date was fast approaching. He had already searched every inch of the apartment and Yeonho’s bag, but still couldn’t find the phone. Had Yeonho thrown it away?

There was no helping it. He would just have to search the same places again. If he still couldn’t find it, then he’d have to come up with another way to convince Yeonho.

He opened the closet he had already searched once. Checked all the clothes and the pockets again. Now it was time to go through the ski suit hanging next to the padded coat. He was sure he’d checked this one before too. The pockets had just held a pair of ski gloves.

“…Found it.”