F82

The passcode Yeonho had set on his old phone was six digits. Siwoo tried entering 180616 first. Of course, that wasn’t it. Even back then, Yeonho had changed his password to prevent him from unlocking it. And since the phone had once gone through his mother’s hands, there was no chance it would still use the shared passcode they once used.

Next, he tried combining the last two digits of Yeonho’s birth year with his birthday, March 15. It was simple, but since the phone had been with his mother, the odds seemed better. That wasn’t it either.

Then maybe it was his mother’s own birth date? Siwoo checked a post on Seong Junyoung’s social media that had gone up on her birthday, and tried that date next. Still nothing.

Finally, he entered Kim Siwoo, his own birth date.

“If it’s not this, I don’t know what else it could be.”

The words slipped out before he could stop himself, but his face remained cold. Still, it had been foolish to expect so much. The phone remained locked, and all that misplaced confidence and hope made him feel ridiculous.

He could try deducing the password from Yeonho’s resident ID or student number, but Siwoo stopped there. If he kept guessing and the phone got disabled, he risked losing all the data. This wasn’t something to tackle alone. He needed to invest time, money, and connections.

First, he made sure to erase all signs that he had searched Yeonho’s apartment. Then he headed to unit 415. Back in college in the US, Siwoo had made every effort to stretch his small circle of contacts. He reached out to someone in the field, someone he had met through an engineering club made up of students with diverse specialties.

“Do you know anyone who can use NAND mirroring to retrieve a phone’s passcode and unlock it? Do you remember that guy? Yeah, the hacker. Can you still get in touch with him? It’s a model released six years ago, and it hasn’t had security updates in almost five. I think it might be doable. The OS version is low. I’ll pay whatever it costs, just ask if it’s possible.”

After hanging up, Siwoo waited for a reply and thought things over. If it was Yeonho, he probably used only numbers again. Even before he switched to 180616, his passcodes had always been numeric. Just like how he always chose room 315, it was a habit for him to link meaningful numbers to other things. It was hard to shake.

About thirty minutes later, his contact got back to him.

“Oh, he’s working there now? They have the tools to do it? No, I’ll come to the States myself. I don’t want anyone else seeing what’s on the phone after it’s unlocked. I won’t feel safe just sending the device. I’m pretty sure it’s six digits, numbers only. How long would it take then?”

Up until he actually had the phone in hand, Siwoo had believed he could unlock it on his own. Even if Yeonho had grown more complicated over time, his nature was still fundamentally simple.

But as a new employee in the middle of the resort’s peak winter season, it would be impossible to take a full week off to include the flight. Depending on the password, it could take less time or much, much more. With no way to know for sure, Siwoo only had one option left.

He submitted his resignation.

As soon as a replacement was found, he would leave for the US. He planned to tell Yeonho that the departure date had changed. He had no intention of telling his parents anything at all. No updates. No explanations. He was done letting them interfere. He would live on his own terms now.

Either way, without Joo Yeonho, he might as well be dead. Right now, Kim Siwoo was clawing his way back to life with the last bit of tenacity he had left.

Of course, even after going through all this effort, it was possible that what he found in the phone would contradict everything he believed. It might only leave him devastated. Just like Yeonho had been when he saw Junyoung’s message on his current phone not long ago.

There was no guarantee that unlocking this old phone wouldn’t lead to the same result. Even if Seong Junhee really had assaulted Yeonho, it could also be true that the two of them found mutual affection in the process and ended up dating. Both truths could exist side by side.

Until he knew the truth about Yeonho and Junyoung, Siwoo had no intention of letting go. On the surface, it was clear that Yeonho had chosen Junyoung. They were dating. And in doing so, Yeonho had abandoned him once again. Siwoo was clinging to the desperate hope that it was all a lie, that Yeonho was just pretending.

If everything turned out to be his delusion, if it became clear he had been living off fantasy all this time, and Yeonho had really thrown him away a second time. Then he would end his life right there.

He wouldn’t go back to Yeonho again. If the one and only purpose of his life so thoroughly rejected him, and wanted someone else instead, then there was no reason to keep living. He had survived the first time. But twice?

That made the old phone now in his possession the object that would decide whether he lived or died.

***

Siwoo’s replacement was found faster than expected. Yeonho stood in unit 415, watching in stunned silence as Siwoo’s belongings were removed. He still couldn’t believe this was goodbye. That he would never see Siwoo again.

Dragging two large suitcases in both hands, Siwoo spoke.

“Joo Yeonho. I’m leaving. I was happy to see you again.”

He knew Yeonho would probably come find him soon after. Once the pain and love between them became undeniable. He hoped for that. But if this really was the end, then he wanted to be honest.

“Mmm…”

Yeonho nodded. It was meant to be a simple ‘okay,’ but the sound stretched longer. It almost sounded like he was sulking, as if he didn’t want to let him go. Seeing Yeonho clutching his sleeve, Siwoo nearly broke down.

“Yeonho, if you don’t want me to go, stop me. Then I won’t leave.”

Yeonho’s breath caught at the look in Siwoo’s eyes. Should he? Should he just drop everything and run away with him to the US?

They could escape everything. Siwoo’s father who treated him like an animal. His own father who guarded and threatened Siwoo. Seong Junyoung, who might lash out at any time. The guilt that choked him in the form of Seong Junhee in his nightmares. The burden of knowing Siwoo had taken the fall for his crime.

Should he ask Siwoo to run away with him forever, just the two of them?

Yeonho exhaled shakily, then slowly let go of his hand. Blinking with empty eyes, he answered.

“I’m sorry I did so many awful things.”

“I don’t care. I even loved the awful things you did to me.”

Siwoo lowered his head in front of the man who was letting him go. He felt tears coming but held them back. It was fine. He would be back soon anyway.

Yeonho blinked his dry eyes and gave one last goodbye.

“Thank you for curing my insomnia.”

“Yeonho, I used to wish you couldn’t sleep without me. That you’d be miserable every night.”

“Yeah.”

Yeonho nodded with a bright smile, as if that thought made perfect sense. Siwoo continued.

“But now that I can’t be the one to put you to sleep, I don’t want that anymore. I hope you sleep well.”

He meant every word. Wishing Yeonho restful nights, even without medication.

“No matter who’s lying next to you… I hope you sleep peacefully. Don’t walk around barefoot. Don’t have nightmares.”

Yeonho blinked his red, tear-filled eyes and replied.

“I hope there’s no one around you who hurts you. Whether it’s me, your family, or anyone who talks without knowing who you really are.”

“Thank you.”

“The person you’re going back to meet… they’re a good person, right? I’m glad. I’m glad you get to start over with someone good. And if they won’t take you back, make sure you apologize. Tell them your last relationship was with a terrible person, and that you came to Korea for revenge. Tell them they’re the one you truly love, and get down on your knees if you have to.”

When he finished, Yeonho pressed his lips tightly together. Siwoo pulled him into a firm hug. Yeonho wrapped his arms around him just as tightly. Stroking his back, Siwoo prayed that he’d get the chance to hold this body again someday.

“…I love you.”

But Yeonho didn’t reply.

After Siwoo left, Yeonho returned to 315 and sat blankly in front of his laptop.

“He’s gone.”

Siwoo had left his side again. Even four years ago, when Siwoo went to the US and Yeonho had lost his memory, he kept searching for the man who was no longer there. Crying endlessly, not even knowing who or what he was searching for.

Now he thought he finally understood the dreams that used to vanish the moment he opened his eyes. Siwoo must have been in them. Just being with him in dreams had felt like happiness.

The hope that Siwoo would one day return had kept him alive. That unconscious belief had been his only reason to live. And now it was gone.

Yeonho took a deep breath and straightened his posture. Even though Siwoo had left, there were still things he had to do. He turned on his laptop and began typing an email.

Hello, PD. I am the true perpetrator behind the fatal collision that took place four years ago at the former Seongam Resort ( Platte Resort) ski slope. The truth about that accident is very different from what has been made public. Someone has lived the past several years unfairly branded a murderer because of me. I hope that person can finally reclaim their name. Please contact me if you are interested in an interview.