F83
by BIBIEven after the car accident, Siwoo had been able to move without major issues. But on the flight to the US, finally leaving Yeonho’s side, he realized he had reached the limits of his mental endurance. His condition was breaking down.
He kept telling himself this was only a detour, just a temporary step so he could stay with Yeonho forever. But being apart from him was excruciating. His whole body ached, as if they had truly said goodbye for the last time. He spent the entire flight slumped beneath a blanket, swallowing back groans.
There were so many places he wanted to go with Yeonho. He had wanted to be on this flight with him too. The only trips they ever took together were a few day trips during summer vacation when they were dating. Siwoo had once believed they would eventually leave their footprints together across every corner of the earth. He believed their love had many days left to live.
But aside from those few happy months, Siwoo had always been alone. Even when he returned to Korea believing they could become two again, he had ended up alone. And now, once again, he boarded a plane by himself. Was wanting to stand next to Yeonho really such a greedy desire?
Tears he had held back streamed silently down his face. He looked out at the sky and prayed. Please, let there still be hope for me. Let Yeonho’s sincerity, the truth I saw and felt, not be a lie.
***
By now, Siwoo must have arrived in the US. Had he met that person again? What had he said to them? Something like, “After returning from Korea, I realized you’re the one I truly love,” probably worked well.
Had he felt aroused when he saw them again? Was he making love to them with the same longing and tenderness he once showed me?
In Siwoo’s life, I was nothing more than a passing storm. He had been in a stable relationship with that person for four years. He would probably return to peaceful days soon. I hoped Siwoo would now experience a calm kind of love.
The moment Siwoo left, my lips became chapped and dark shadows formed under my eyes. I hadn’t slept a wink in the bed without him. It was no surprise. Still, I didn’t want to go back to taking the sleeping pills he had helped me quit.
After work, Yeonho sat down at a café across from a PD who had come all the way to Gangwon Province to meet him.
“Hello. I’m PD Cha Sunwoo.”
He offered his business card. Yeonho handed over his own and introduced himself.
“Hello. I’m Joo Yeonho. I’m the biological son of Cha Gyeongshin, CEO of Platte Resort, and the stepbrother of the deceased.”
Recalling the events of the day Seong Junhee died, Yeonho calmly explained what he had done.
“I worked at the resort from a young age. I knew the internal workings well, so disabling the CCTV wasn’t hard. I didn’t want to leave behind evidence. I lured Junhee to a steep slope for advanced skiers, intending to kill him by pushing him from behind while snowboarding.”
“What was your motive?”
“I was angry that my brother would share the resort my biological father left me. It’s true the resort grew under my stepfather’s leadership, but I couldn’t accept that something originally mine would be divided. Because of my selfish desire to have his share as well, I killed a man who raised me like a son for thirteen years.”
He had practiced this countless times overnight. The first time he said it out loud, he couldn’t breathe, then got so upset he ended up shouting. But after enough practice, his breathing came naturally, and his voice no longer shook. Now it sounded like a calm confession of a long-hidden crime.
“I was snowboarding with Junhee when I pushed him. But at that moment, Kim Yeonho, a schoolmate who happened to be on the same slope, stepped in between us to prevent the accident. That’s all he did. He had no idea I had planned to kill Junhee. He thought it was just a mistake. So he confessed, thinking he was at fault.”
“Why would he do that?”
“I helped him once, a long time ago. Maybe he wanted to repay that debt. He probably never imagined his life would become so tangled. He thought it was just a simple accident on a ski slope.”
The PD, watching Yeonho’s faint smile, responded.
“Mr. Joo, we can’t produce a broadcast based solely on your word. If Mr. Kim Yeonho were claiming to be wrongly accused, we’d investigate. But since he’s not denying it, and there’s no supporting evidence for your claim…”
“I understand. You probably can’t air this. There’s not enough substance. There’s no evidence, and Kim Yeonho already served the punishment in my place. If you were to contact him, he’d just say I’m lying. So what I’m asking is…”
Yeonho paused to take a sip of tea before continuing.
“I’m not asking for an investigation. And I don’t want you to contact Kim Yeonho either. All I want is for you to release a short audio clip of what I’m saying right now on your show’s online channel. No commentary. Just let people hear that I said these things.”
Lifting his gaze from the teacup, Yeonho locked eyes with the PD.
“Of course, right now you have no reason to share any of this. There’s no justification, and no content value either. I understand. But someday, you’ll end up making this public. So for now, just keep it in mind as an interview you once recorded.”
***
Day 1. With permission, Siwoo stayed present throughout the entire process of unlocking Yeonho’s phone. He didn’t want it accessed while he was away, or seen by someone else. There was no telling what might be on it.
It had only been a day since he left Yeonho, but he already missed him. He couldn’t call or message him anymore. But there was one way to see him. Checking Seong Junyoung’s social media.
One of Junyoung’s followers had betrayed him, so he deleted his private account. Instead, he began posting Yeonho’s photos and videos on his public account without shame.
Everything happening in his hospital room was now being livestreamed. In one of those broadcasts, Yeonho appeared, having come to visit and care for him. He smiled and waved at the camera.
There were no edits or scheduled endings to the long live videos. And the Yeonho inside them was no longer a puppet drugged and manipulated by others. He was clearly moving, speaking, and smiling of his own will.
Siwoo alternated between watching the phone being cracked and the feed of Yeonho on Junyoung’s SNS. His resolve weakened. His confidence in Yeonho’s love was shrinking.
“Maybe he never loved me. Not five years ago, not now… Maybe it was all in my head.”
His voice trembled. Had he ever felt this terrified in his life? His breath quickened. Fear crept in. The moment when his delusion would shatter, when everything would be exposed as a lie, felt too close.
But he couldn’t stop now. He forced himself to stay strong. He thought back to every sincere moment Yeonho had shown him. Days when he couldn’t help but believe in Yeonho’s love. He kept remembering them. Repeating them like a mantra.
Right now, Joo Yeonho is doing all this not because of Seong Junyoung, but because he loves Kim Siwoo.
***
After getting enough rest following surgery, Seong Junyoung was discharged. Everything had healed, except his genitals, which still weren’t functioning properly. Yeonho visited his home and prepared dinner for him.
Lounging on the sofa taking selfies, Junyoung said,
“Babe, I still can’t get it up. But just wait a little longer, okay?”
“Yeah. I really hope you can recover.”
Yeonho answered from the kitchen, chopping ham with a knife, sounding completely hollow. Junyoung went on.
“That bastard Kim Siwoo ran off to the US because he was scared to face me, didn’t he? I swear I’m going to track him down and kill him.”
Yeonho stopped cutting and asked,
“How many times do I have to tell you it wasn’t him? Why are you trying to kill him?”
“Then who was it?”
“It was me. I was so angry with you that I lashed out. But as time passed, I started to feel sorry. I regretted it.”
Junyoung immediately sat up. He stormed over to Yeonho, looking furious.
“Babe. Are you still worried about that piece of shit?”
Yeonho stood facing him.
“I told you. It really was me. I’m only saying this because it’s true. What do I have to do for you to believe I did it? You hurt me, so I hurt you back.”
But Junyoung kept pressing him.
“Whether it was you or not, what does it matter to you if I mess him up?”
“Because someone else is getting hurt because of me.”
“Whether it was him or you, just thinking about how that bastard hacked my account and spewed garbage at me makes me furious. Who does he think he is, trying to take me down? After killing my brother!”
“You seem unusually sensitive when it comes to him. I get it, though. It makes sense.”
“You’re not dating me just to protect that bastard, are you?”
Gripping the knife tightly, Yeonho blinked with lifeless eyes.
“Calm down. Sit and eat.”
Junyoung sat at the table. Yeonho set down a bowl of rice and soup in front of him and spoke in a quiet voice.
“Let’s go snowboarding at dawn. I like the early morning. No one’s around then…”
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