F87

Yeonho was quickly gathering and absorbing information about his lover through a stream of endless questions.

His name was Kim Yeonho. After Seong Junhee’s death, he had gone to study abroad in the US, where he changed his name. His legal name now was Kim Siwoo. Siwoo said he would explain everything that had happened later. For now, Yeonho was focused on learning the basics.

His hobbies were thinking about Joo Yeonho. His special skill was loving Joo Yeonho. His habit was writing Joo Yeonho’s name whenever he picked up a pen and drawing puppies that resembled Joo Yeonho. The thing he liked most was Joo Yeonho. His current occupation was being Joo Yeonho’s caregiver.

His entire life revolved around Joo Yeonho. There was nothing in him that wasn’t. It felt like Joo Yeonho had birthed him, raised him, and designed his entire world. Even a devout believer wouldn’t be this devoted to their god.

A man whose every word was about Joo Yeonho. Yeonho could clearly feel and accept that this man loved him with a desperate intensity so deep that in this moment, Siwoo could no longer define himself without Yeonho. After being discharged, Yeonho planned to observe him directly and discover what hobbies, talents, and habits Siwoo had apart from him.

Of course, it would be easier if all his memories came back, but it wasn’t so bad to enjoy the fun of getting to know him from the beginning.

“What’s your favorite food?”

“I like whatever you like. We always eat together, so I adjusted my taste to match yours. Eventually, I started liking the same things. Whenever I walked past a shop selling food you liked, I’d stop and think, oh, Yeonho likes this.”

Yeonho’s big eyes filled with emotion. Still a little shy around Siwoo, he gently fidgeted with the back of his hand, blushing as he asked,

“There’s something I’ve been wondering.”

“Ask me anything.”

With bright curiosity in his eyes, Yeonho asked,

“When I was younger, I didn’t really like sushi. I couldn’t handle raw food well. But after waking up without my memories from when I was twenty, I found out I actually liked sushi.”

“Really? You couldn’t eat raw food? You enjoyed it so much when we went together, I never knew.”

Siwoo’s eyes widened. Not long after they’d met, he’d taken Yeonho to a high-end Japanese restaurant. Yeonho had said it was delicious five times that day. So of course, he assumed Yeonho liked it. Yeonho had even asked him to buy some another time.

He thought back to all the times they’d eaten sushi together, to the moments he had bought it for Yeonho and even fed him bite by bite.

Yeonho smiled brightly and said,

“So it’s true that I started liking sushi because of you, right?”

He had never known. Siwoo looked at him with a tender gaze, there was still so much about Yeonho he didn’t know. Encouraged by Siwoo’s reaction, Yeonho spoke even more cheerfully.

“When I woke up, so many things had changed. I kept wondering who it was that changed me.”

Siwoo placed his hand gently on Yeonho’s cheek. His fingers, still missing their nails, were wrapped in gauze and bandages, so he only used his palm to softly stroke him. Feeling the touch on his cheek, Yeonho’s heart fluttered as he said,

“Every night, I’d clean up and fall asleep waiting for someone. But no one ever came, and I had nowhere to go.”

There were so many things Siwoo was hearing for the first time. As Yeonho sat across from him, talking endlessly, Siwoo was overwhelmed with guilt. Yeonho seemed to have so much he had wanted to say.

After reuniting with Siwoo in spring, Yeonho had apparently found it too difficult to process what had happened. He had thrown away months of memories in the white snow and returned to a time before their reunion.

If Siwoo hadn’t looked at him with such resentment, if he hadn’t treated him so harshly back then, Yeonho might have already shared all of this with him. It was only now that Siwoo was finally hearing the stories Yeonho had once been too afraid to tell. His heart ached.

Holding Siwoo’s hand, Yeonho whispered, his voice tight with emotion.

“I was lonely.”

Siwoo, still touching Yeonho’s cheek with teary eyes, slowly curled his fingers into a loose fist. Brushing Yeonho’s lips with the back of his hand, he asked softly,

“Can I kiss you?”

Yeonho’s body tensed.

“Wait. That’s kind of fast.”

“Right. I’m sorry. I rushed.”

Siwoo pulled his hand away from Yeonho’s lips. But he didn’t look away. Under Siwoo’s persistent gaze, Yeonho blushed and said,

“We’ve only known each other for an hour, so I’m still a little shy. But I’ll do my best so we can kiss before the day’s over.”

Siwoo rolled his eyes playfully and replied,

“Do you really think we can manage that today?”

“Yes. Let’s make sure we kiss before midnight. Just wait a little longer.”

Siwoo decided to help Yeonho carry out his bold little plan. He wrapped him in a warm embrace to help Yeonho get used to his body, pressed his cheek against his, and kissed the flush that rose on his face. When he kissed his eyelid, Yeonho flinched from the ticklish feeling. Siwoo leaned in close and whispered into his ear…

“What a shame. I was actually hoping to do a little more with you today, Joo Yeonho.”

At that, Yeonho’s eyes sparkled. Gathering his courage, he pressed a kiss to Siwoo’s cheek and spoke with a face full of shyness.

“Once we kiss, won’t the rest just follow naturally? I’m sure our bodies will remember.”

Seong Junyoung left for work after grumbling and throwing a fit, and Yeonho’s mother entrusted Siwoo with her son without hesitation. Siwoo had already stayed by Yeonho’s side for the two full days he’d been unconscious, never leaving even once, and had cared for him as best he could with his injured hands. Thanks to this, even Yeonho’s father realized that Siwoo had been a long-standing presence in Yeonho’s life.

Yeonho waited eagerly for Siwoo to return from a snack run. He was fidgeting under the blanket with his toes, and the moment Siwoo walked through the door, he jumped out of bed to greet him. Siwoo set the plastic bag hanging from his wrist on the table and asked him,

“Could you help me take off my coat? Sorry. My hands still don’t work so well.”

Earlier, when Siwoo went out, it was Yeonho who had helped him put it on. Now, standing close, Yeonho exhaled a warm breath against Siwoo’s broad chest as he slipped the coat off him, then looked up with a teasing tone and asked,

“So, who’s been dressing you all this time?”

“Clothes?”

“And undressing you?”

“Hmm…”

Siwoo didn’t answer right away and simply gazed into his eyes. Yeonho, with the coat hanging from his left arm, brushed his right hand along Siwoo’s waist and asked again.

“You washed me while I was unconscious, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did. I could still hold a wet cloth, so I washed your body. Your mother washed your hair. I had a bit of a fight with Seong Junyoung about it. I couldn’t use my hands, but I still won.”

“Then who washed you, Kim Yeonho-ssi?”

Yeonho looked up at him with wide eyes, his voice and gaze cheeky, though his cheeks were flushed red. Siwoo didn’t give the answer Yeonho wanted. Instead, he kissed his lips gently and said,

“Joo Yeonho. Not long ago, I told you a really big lie.”

“What lie?”

“I told you I dated someone else and slept with them during the four years we were apart.”

Just hearing it seemed to bring a shadow to Yeonho’s face. His lips pouted in dismay. Siwoo kissed his lips softly, pushing them back into place with his own, and said,

“You believed it right away. Honestly, I thought you’d call me out. But you believed it.”

“Then you didn’t see anyone else? Because I didn’t. I was alone the whole time.”

Yeonho’s mood lifted in an instant and he beamed. Siwoo reassured him again, this time even more clearly.

“Yes. I know now. That there was no one else for you but me. And it was the same for me. I’ve never been interested in anyone else’s body. I don’t care what anyone else is thinking or feeling. I’m only curious about you.”

Yeonho lit up like a child. Siwoo nestled into his arms and, with a calm voice, quietly opened up.

“While I was loving you, I felt so much jealousy. My heart would rot and twist, and the only time I could breathe was when I saw you jealous because of me. That made me feel like I could live again. It became a habit, and now I still feel that way. When you get jealous, it makes me happy. It makes me want to tease you.”

Yeonho, holding Siwoo tightly in his arms, stroked his body gently in a way that showed he understood everything. But he didn’t let it slide. He pressed sharply,

“So who took your clothes off and who washed your body?”

“I’m going to keep that a secret so you’ll be jealous. But just know I’m teasing you right now.”

Siwoo grinned playfully as he answered. In truth, he had clumsily changed clothes using his mouth and his damaged hands, like a dog chewing on a doll, and washed himself with waterproof medical gloves. It hadn’t been a pretty sight, and he didn’t want Yeonho imagining it. Yeonho threw a mock tantrum and wrapped his arms around Siwoo’s neck.

“Then let me wash you from now on. I’ll even help you change your underwear.”

“When? Can we do that today?”

“Probably about five minutes after midnight. Can you wait until then?”

“Yes. I’ll be good and wait.”

Siwoo buried his face in Yeonho’s shoulder and took a deep breath. The scent of his beloved’s skin made his head spin.