EM 34. Struggle

Xiao Mingxuan’s dorm was the first room on the fifth floor. Song Feng wandered ahead out of curiosity and noticed that the rest were all empty. He was immediately surprised. “What’s going on? You’re the only one living on this floor?”

“Yeah. They’ve already decided to make me the captain of Team 2. This floor is reserved for us, so I moved up early.” Xiao Mingxuan pulled out his key and opened the door, then flicked on the light.

Song Feng slipped inside. The dorm wasn’t large, but it was incredibly tidy. Xiao Mingxuan had graduated from a military academy and gone straight into the force afterward. He had long since internalized the discipline and habits of a soldier. Everything in the room was arranged neatly and by the book, unlike the chaos in his and Wei Xiaoyan’s room, where their toiletries were thrown around, and it was always Bai Xuyao or Duan Qing who cleaned up after them. Song Feng looked around and gave a nod of approval. “Not bad. Way better than the barracks.”

Xiao Mingxuan pointed to the door on the side. “That’s the bathroom. Go wash up.”

Song Feng answered and turned to go in, shutting the door with a click.

Xiao Mingxuan stood quietly in place, feeling his heartbeat start to accelerate. Just as he tried to suppress the rush of nervous energy, the door opened again. Song Feng was shirtless, his belt already undone, zipper halfway down, pants barely clinging on. A sliver of his underwear peeked out. He stood barefoot on the ground.

“I have a question.”

“…”

The image hit him like a punch. Xiao Mingxuan stood frozen for a full five seconds before he managed to speak. “…What?”

Song Feng held up his pants. “What am I supposed to wear after I shower? I really don’t want to put on long pants again.”

Xiao Mingxuan paused for a moment, then turned around to fetch a pair of shorts and tossed them over. “You still want underwear?”

Song Feng caught them. “Forget that. Who knows if your size will even fit me. What if I put it on and it’s too tight…” He trailed off mid-sentence, seemed to recall something, and twitched at the corners of his mouth.

Xiao Mingxuan lifted a brow, catching on. A hint of a smile played at his lips. “Too tight? Don’t you already know?”

“…” Song Feng slammed the door shut in response.

Xiao Mingxuan waited for a while. Before long, he heard the sound of running water from inside. He pulled out a chair and sat down, casually lighting a cigarette. His mood right now was even more excited than the first time he had ever slept with someone. That person was right there, within arm’s reach. The feeling was so ambiguous it made him want to act on it.

Song Feng didn’t take long. Just as Xiao Mingxuan finished his cigarette, he came out. Still shirtless, he stepped out in flip-flops with a lazy clack clack, one hand rubbing his hair dry. Beads of water trickled down his neck and left a translucent trail across his chest. It was sexy and beautiful. His eyes were hazy with steam from the shower, radiating a languid, satisfied ease.

“I’m done,” he said.

Xiao Mingxuan tossed the cigarette butt into the wastebasket and stared at him. His throat tightened, and something down below started to stir. He quickly stood up. “I’m going to shower.”

He grabbed his change of clothes and walked briskly into the bathroom. Standing in front of the sink, he splashed two handfuls of cold water on his face and exhaled slowly. He needed to calm down. Song Feng was the type of guy who had no limits, as long as he was having fun, but Xiao Mingxuan couldn’t be sure how he would react if things went too far. Besides, they had just started living together. If he scared him off now, he might not get another chance.

He gave himself a quick mental reset, took a simple shower, and came back out. Song Feng was sitting at the desk, messing with the computer. A few bottles of beer he had pulled from the cabinet were sitting beside him.

Hearing the sound, Song Feng turned his head and looked over with anticipation. “Got any movies?” He knew the military network only had internal access. There was no way he could get to any porn sites, so his only hope now was that Xiao Mingxuan’s hard drive had some treasure on it.

“There are a few. All in there. Look for yourself.”

Song Feng turned back to keep searching. “I see them. Got anything else?”

Xiao Mingxuan walked up and stood behind him, one hand on the desk, trapping him in his arms. The fresh scent of soap filled his nose, making it hard to resist. He steadied himself. “What do you want to watch?”

Song Feng’s eyes lit up. “Porn. Hardcore stuff.”

“…” Xiao Mingxuan paused. “Like what?”

“You know, Japanese, Western, two people or a bunch of people going at it, switching positions non-stop. The real deal,” Song Feng said, turning to look at him. His gorgeous eyes sparkled. “You got any?”

They were so close that if Xiao Mingxuan lowered his head just a little, he could kiss him. His breath hitched. He reached over to grab a bottle of beer, popped it open, and took it with him to the bed.

“No.”

Song Feng froze. “…No?”

Xiao Mingxuan calmly took a sip. “No.”

“You’re kidding.” Song Feng grabbed a bottle too and sat beside him, giving him a skeptical look. “Young Master Xiao, how long have you been here? With these past few months included, it’s been almost a year, right?”

Xiao Mingxuan did a quick count. “Yeah.”

“No porn at all? How the hell did you survive this past year? Not even a little fun?”

Xiao Mingxuan kept his voice calm, resisting the urge to grit his teeth. “You think everyone’s like you, ready to get off whenever they want?”

Song Feng paused to think, then slumped his shoulders and clinked bottles with him. “I’ve got it worse than you. You didn’t have the chance. I had chances and still got nothing. Now that I think about it, it’s been a year since I last touched a woman.”

Xiao Mingxuan looked genuinely surprised. “Then what the hell were you doing all that time?”

Song Feng sighed, reached back to shut the computer, grabbed the rest of the beers, and joined him against the headboard. “Fu Shanming came after me.”

Xiao Mingxuan jolted upright. “Seriously? What did he do to you?”

“He hired me as his bodyguard. Spent every day trying to sexually harass me. Then Shao Xiujie poached me…” Song Feng gave him a rough summary of what happened during that period. Xiao Mingxuan listened quietly. While he had been getting tortured by training, barely hanging on during missions where his life was on the line, this guy had been getting passed around like a prize. A vein throbbed at his temple. He was dying to fly to Malaysia and wipe those two out.

Song Feng recalled it all and shivered. “My whole vacation got screwed. Didn’t even get a taste of anything. Fu Shanming’s gay, so hiring all those women made sense. But Shao Xiujie already has a fiancée. What the hell was the point of firing all the maids? Those women were nothing like Yushuang, not even close. What danger did they pose? I really don’t get what the fuck goes on in that guy’s head. He cockblocked me for no reason.”

Xiao Mingxuan stared at him silently.

Song Feng fumed. “How can a man be scared of his woman, right?”

“Song Feng,” Xiao Mingxuan asked seriously, “have you ever pursued anyone before?”

“Nope. You?”

“Me neither.” Xiao Mingxuan looked at him, his expression still serious. “Has anyone ever pursued you? Anyone at all. Male or female. Ever?”

Song Feng narrowed his eyes and gave a sharp snort. “Yeah. One asshole.”

Xiao Mingxuan raised a brow. “A guy?”

“Yup. He wanted to fuck me. I killed him in the end.”

“…”

Song Feng gave him a weird look. “Why are you asking all this?”

“…”

“Yeah?”

“No, nothing.” Xiao Mingxuan snapped out of it. “Just asking. Drink.”

Song Feng glanced at him again but didn’t think much of it. He kept chatting and drinking with him.

Xiao Mingxuan’s arm was pressed right against his. The warmth of skin-on-skin contact had started to burn. He knew this was dangerous, but he was addicted to the sensation and couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Trying to distract himself, he asked, “Besides chasing girls, what else do you plan to do? Gambling?”

“Yeah. But we don’t need to hit the casino yet. First I’ve gotta teach them the basics. Solitaire, Dou Dizhu, stud poker, pai gow, you name it,” Song Feng said. “Run through the full tutorial, then take them to the casino for practice.”

Xiao Mingxuan thought for a moment. “Let’s hold off on that. First they need to finish this evaluation. If they fail, it’s pointless. Once they pass the final test, then we can talk gambling.”

Song Feng raised a brow. “Loyalty test? Me and Xiaoyan already did it before. We shouldn’t have to go through that crap again.”

Xiao Mingxuan nodded, checked the time, then downed the last sip of his beer. “It’s late. Let’s get some sleep.”

Song Feng had no objections. He set the bottle down and turned over to sleep. Xiao Mingxuan shut off the lights, and the dorm was instantly swallowed by darkness. He lay back on the bed, staring into the pitch black at the faint silhouette beside him. The guy was so close he could hear him breathing. The feeling was intimate, thrilling, and he realized with a jolt that he was hard.

He quickly lay flat and focused on steadying his breath. He had never denied himself when it came to stuff like this, but now he had to hold back. The real question was, how long could he keep holding out?

Without making a sound, he shifted slightly to the side and slowly closed his eyes.

He woke up early the next morning. The sky outside was still grey, not fully light yet. He looked down and saw Song Feng sleeping soundly beside him, dangerously close. His lips were slightly parted, and the breath he exhaled felt warm. Xiao Mingxuan paused for a moment, then cautiously reached over to feel around, and sure enough, his hand landed on something hard. His breath caught. It was morning wood.

He narrowed his eyes and gently stroked up and down. Before long, he felt a damp patch on the front of the underwear. The tip had already started leaking.

Song Feng gave a low hum and instinctively scooted closer, like he was enjoying it.

Xiao Mingxuan held his breath. He knew this was pushing it, so he slowly started to pull his hand away. But before he could even finish, the man grabbed it and shoved it back, guiding him in slow strokes. Xiao Mingxuan stiffened and got hard instantly.

Song Feng pressed closer again, enjoying the warm brush of skin-on-skin. Still half-asleep, he leaned in and kissed Xiao Mingxuan on the cheek, mumbling, “Pretty boy, let me touch you.”

“…”

He kept grinding against him, his hand sliding brazenly onto Xiao Mingxuan’s waist.

Xiao Mingxuan looked at the face just inches away, held back for a moment, then finally gave up resisting. He leaned down and kissed him, tongue slipping past his teeth and tangling tightly with his. Under the covers, his hand began to move, slowly stroking him.

Song Feng let out a soft hum from his throat and returned the kiss.

Xiao Mingxuan’s breathing grew heavy. The kiss deepened, leaving no inch of the man’s mouth untouched. The feeling was too intoxicating. He had never felt anything like this before, as if he were in heaven. He even thought that if Song Feng touched him in return, he might come right then and there.

The heat between them quickly escalated, and he soon felt Song Feng’s hands start to wander over his body. His heart skipped a beat, and he broke away in a rush.

Just as he began to move his hand back, Song Feng grabbed it again, pressed it down against himself, and rubbed in closer. His brows drew together slightly, and after a few seconds, he finally opened his eyes. Then he froze.

Xiao Mingxuan stared back calmly.

Song Feng’s brain went blank. He was in disbelief, his throat suddenly going cold. “What… the hell is happening…”

Xiao Mingxuan tried to keep his voice even. “You just told me to touch you.”

“…” Song Feng stiffly lifted Xiao Mingxuan’s hand off his still-hard dick and set it aside with trembling fingers. Then he froze again. “You kissed me just now, didn’t you?”

“…You kissed me first,” Xiao Mingxuan replied seriously.

Song Feng gave it a moment’s thought and realized it was actually very possible. “…Really?”

Xiao Mingxuan nodded.

Song Feng gave a dry laugh. “Well… don’t take it the wrong way, alright?”

Xiao Mingxuan exhaled in relief. “I understand.”

Song Feng nodded, then suddenly kicked the blanket aside and sat up. The tent in Xiao Mingxuan’s pants was impossible to miss. He nearly ground his teeth. “Fuck, do you seriously think I’m that stupid? Even if I kissed you first, you definitely kissed me back!”

Xiao Mingxuan didn’t deny it. “Same logic as you kissing me. You should understand. The question is, what now?”

Song Feng froze, glanced at himself, then at Xiao Mingxuan. After a moment of silence, he scooted over with a flattering look. “Hey… I’ve saved your ass a few times, haven’t I?”

“Not that many.”

“Still, I did.”

“Mm.”

“Then lie back.”

Xiao Mingxuan stared at him, the corners of his lips curling into a dangerous smile. He spoke slowly. “You want… me to lie back?”

“Or… maybe get on all fours?”

Xiao Mingxuan smiled, grabbed him, and shoved him down onto the bed. His lips brushed Song Feng’s ear. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re scheming. Dream on.”