EM 36. Oath

Xiao Mingxuan had been reviewing documents. After opening the door for a certain someone, he returned to his chair and focused once again on the screen. Even though the truth was now out, he actually felt relieved. At least he no longer had to carry this secret alone. He had panicked a little in the morning, but once he saw that the man hadn’t shown any signs of rejection, he finally relaxed.

After observing him throughout the day, he could tell that Song Feng was still willing to talk to him, and even came to see him now. That was more than enough. As for what came next, he could take it slow. Pushing too hard would only backfire.

Song Feng wandered lazily around the dorm. His usual carefree nature meant that whatever awkwardness he felt upon entering vanished within thirty seconds. He had managed to joke around with this man even after getting fucked by him. Now that it was just a matter of being liked, there really wasn’t anything to fear. And even if the guy tried to pounce, he could still fight back.

What troubled him was figuring out what to do about all this. The whole situation felt too complicated, way beyond his level of intelligence. But Xiao Mingxuan hadn’t brought it up all day. Even now, he wasn’t pressing for answers, and Song Feng had no idea what that meant.

After sitting on the bed for a while and getting bored, he wandered over and started circling around him, asking casually, “What’re you looking at?”

“Material for the next evaluation,” Xiao Mingxuan said without turning. “You need something?”

Song Feng didn’t answer. He just bent down, pulled a beer from the cabinet, and kept circling.

“If you’ve got nothing to say, stop pacing around me. It’s dizzying.” Xiao Mingxuan pulled him over and pushed him lightly into the chair next to him, then moved the mouse and flipped to the next page. “Get me one too.”

Song Feng bent down, grabbed another bottle, opened it, and set it on the desk.

Xiao Mingxuan took it. “You haven’t showered yet?”

“I did. Right after dinner.” Song Feng took a sip of beer, then hesitated for a while before finally opening his mouth. “About what happened today…”

Xiao Mingxuan paused, finally turning to look at him. “You figured it out?”

“No,” Song Feng said honestly. “I still don’t know what to do.”

“Then tell me when you do.” Xiao Mingxuan reached out and patted his head. “I’m not in a rush. You don’t need to stress about it either. Just follow whatever feels right.”

Song Feng let out a small sigh of relief. Since the man wasn’t asking, he could stop obsessing over it. That made things much easier. He sat for a while longer, then tilted his head to study him. Xiao Mingxuan’s features were sharp and well-defined. He was handsome, and with that kind of family background, he could easily charm a crowd. Who would’ve thought he’d fall for someone like him?

Xiao Mingxuan finished reading the page and glanced at him. When he saw the lewd little grin on Song Feng’s face, he frowned. “What are you thinking about?”

“I haven’t hooked up with a single girl in almost a year. I was starting to worry my charm had worn off,” Song Feng said, grinning with pride. “Turns out, nope~”

“Nope.” Xiao Mingxuan nodded in agreement. He was very tempted to tell him that no matter how charming he was, he could forget about women from now on. But thinking of the fallout that might cause, he decided to keep that thought to himself for now.

Song Feng lit up the moment he was complimented. In high spirits, he slung an arm over Xiao Mingxuan’s shoulder. “Come on, Young Master Xiao. Let’s break it down—what exactly about me do you like?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“…”

Xiao Mingxuan said it with a straight face. “Seriously.”

“…”

He added comfortingly, “It’s fine. No matter how dumb you get, I won’t hold it against you.”

Song Feng let out a quiet grumble, got up, and settled on the bed with his beer. Once Xiao Mingxuan finished the last page, he closed the laptop, grabbed his bottle, and walked over. Like the night before, the two of them sat together, sharing drinks and conversation, soaking in the rare comfort of it.

“I’ve always been curious about something,” Song Feng said. “I know you’re trying to fulfill that old plan of yours, but you could’ve just submitted a proposal. There was no need to come here in person and join the spec ops team. What were you thinking? Was it really just to drag me in?”

“That was part of it,” Xiao Mingxuan said quietly. “But the bigger part was that I felt too weak.”

Song Feng paused. “Because of what happened last time?”

Xiao Mingxuan nodded. His eyes darkened as he recalled the scene. “Back then I thought I was useless. Like a complete failure. I couldn’t do anything.”

Song Feng listened without interrupting, and his thoughts began to drift. This man had always seemed luckier than him. He clinked bottles with him and said, half-joking, “Well, I’m still alive.”

“If you had died back then,” Xiao Mingxuan murmured, “I really don’t know what kind of person I’d be now.”

He reached out and took the hand hanging by Song Feng’s side, holding it firmly in his palm like it mattered more than anything.

Song Feng lowered his gaze. Both their hands were calloused from years of holding weapons. The rough patches scraped faintly against softer skin, an odd and unfamiliar sensation. But Xiao Mingxuan’s hand was wide and warm. It wasn’t unpleasant at all.

“Song Feng,” he said, “this life of mine is yours. Even if everyone else in the world turns their back on you, I won’t. You’re the only person who has the right to take my life, and if you ever wanted to, I wouldn’t fight back.”

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Song Feng’s forehead. “I swear.”

Song Feng stared at him. In that moment, the calm in Xiao Mingxuan’s eyes had deepened, steady and unshakable. This was someone who always kept his emotions buried, someone who never showed anything. But right now, for once, it was all out in the open. He could feel it, steady and close, pressing straight into him. Maybe it would happen again someday. Or maybe this would be the only time.

Xiao Mingxuan checked the time, patted his head, and set the beer bottle on the floor. “It’s getting late. Get some sleep. We’re going back to that shop tomorrow night.”

Song Feng blinked. His eyes lit up instantly and he reached out. “Then—”

“Relax. There won’t be any girls for you.”

His hand froze in midair. After a second of silence, he growled, “I knew it. You’re doing this on purpose!”

Xiao Mingxuan felt oddly comforted. “Congratulations. You finally figured it out.”

“…” Song Feng glared at him again. “And so what? I have needs too, you know.”

“You can always come to me. I’ll take care of you. This time I haven’t been pumped full of weird drugs, so I won’t hurt you like last time.”

“…”

“Want to try?”

Song Feng curled up on the bed. “Turn off the light. Go to sleep.”

The next day, he skipped training altogether. He wandered aimlessly around the field, sluggish and bored. It was noon, everyone was on break, and he ran into someone.

“Hey, bro,” Bai Xuyao said. “I heard we’re going out again today. That true?”

Song Feng found a spot and slumped down, totally out of energy, face full of despair. “Yeah. I have to watch you assholes hit on girls again. I can’t live like this.”

Bai Xuyao chewed on his finger for a while, then shuffled over awkwardly. “So uh… is it guys or girls this time?”

Song Feng raised an eyebrow. “You all that open-minded now?”

“No!” Bai Xuyao jumped back a full step. “Just asking. Just in case.”

“Ohh—” Song Feng drew the word out and rubbed his chin. “Since you’ve all mentally prepared yourselves, maybe we’ll give it a try today.”

Bai Xuyao needed a second to process that. Then he dove forward and grabbed him. “Bro, don’t do this. Impulsiveness is the devil. Think this through.”

Song Feng slowly stroked his face. “I haven’t had a girl in forever and I’m seriously pissed. So maybe I’ll just take it out on you guys instead.” He paused thoughtfully. “Actually, that little guy last time was pretty good-looking. Super eager too. I bet he’d be wild in bed. Tsk, tsk. So… who wants him?”

Bai Xuyao stared at him in horror.

Duan Qing and Wei Xiaoyan were there too. When Duan Qing saw Song Feng starting to think something mischievous, he quickly changed the subject. “I’ve always been curious what you guys actually do. Don’t say ‘just passing by,’ no one believes that.”

Song Feng glanced at Wei Xiaoyan. “You didn’t tell them?”

Wei Xiaoyan looked innocent. “I wasn’t sure if I could.”

“Doesn’t matter now. Whatever.” Song Feng looked at them. “Xiaoyan and I come from mercenary backgrounds.”

Both of them were taken aback. Bai Xuyao quickly recovered and perked up. “I know mercenaries! The movie The Expendables is about a team of mercenaries.”

“Yeah, they’re a squad. We have a company.”

“PMC? From where?”

“America.”

“MPRI?”

Song Feng was surprised and laughed. “Hey, not bad. You know MPRI. Most people back home only know about Blackwater when it comes to PMCs. But we’re a different company, not MPRI.”

“I read a lot,” Bai Xuyao said, sitting next to him. “I know MPRI is tough as hell, and that their recruitment is pretty open. Doesn’t matter where you’re from or what you did. You just have to want in and pass training, right? How long have you been mercenaries?”

“I’ve been three years, Xiaoyan two.”

Duan Qing and Bai Xuyao were quietly moved. Mercenaries earn their reputation with their lives. No wonder these two were so formidable. Duan Qing thought deeper. “That’s not all. If you were just mercenaries, why were you transferred here? Who sent you?”

Wei Xiaoyan glanced at Song Feng, who shrugged. Then Wei Xiaoyan explained, “We’re actually with National Security, but our cover outside is mercenaries.”

They were shocked again. Duan Qing asked with surprise, “Then how are you only second lieutenants?”

“By rights, I should be a major already.” Song Feng smiled. “But think about it. If I had shown up wearing the rank of major…”

The two froze and thought back to how clumsy these two had been when they first arrived and wrestled with the bedcovers. Suddenly everything made sense. If they’d come in flaunting that rank, it probably would have caused outrage.

Song Feng chatted with them for a while longer, then sent them off to rest. He got up and went back to the main building, threw himself on the desk, and started a friendly conversation about girls with someone. The entire discussion ended with an absolute rejection. The only consolation was that he got his phone back that night.

He hugged the phone in silence, feeling speechless in the dark, and quietly climbed into the off-road vehicle to head back into the city.

The military camp was built deep in the mountains, where no signal could reach. He stared out the window at the passing scenery. Only after the vehicle reached the foothill road did he turn on his phone. After a moment, the ringtone burst loudly with a flood of messages.

He opened them one by one, starting with the company boss’s texts. The messages said they had already given him leave and asked why he was quitting. They told him to quit if he wanted but questioned why he was taking Wei Xiaoyan with him. The boss reminded him that he had treated him well.

Song Feng froze for a moment and quietly turned his head. “Xiaoyan, the organization just let us go.”

He sat in the passenger seat while Xiao Mingxuan drove. Wei Xiaoyan, Duan Qing, and Bai Xuyao sat in the back, talking without holding back. Wei Xiaoyan also froze, looking hurt. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Song Feng said sadly, swiping down to read the next message. Then he looked up again. The boss said he was keeping a spot open for them and that they were welcome back anytime.

Wei Xiaoyan patted his chest. “Well, that’s good.”

Song Feng nodded and kept scrolling. A twitch appeared at the corner of his mouth. “Bastard.”

Xiao Mingxuan glanced at him. “What is it?”

Song Feng closed the chat window and opened messages from Shao Xiujie and Fu Shanming. The messages were few and far between, sent about once a month, mostly reminding him to rest and asking him to call back when he turned on his phone.

He raised an eyebrow and dialed the number.