F Side Story 5

Yeonho barely managed to calm Siwoo down, who had been about to prove his innocence in an extreme way. Siwoo’s eyes were wide with frustration and confusion, as if he were desperately trying to find some other way to reassure Yeonho.

He was terrified that their relationship might fall apart again. Yeonho was no different. He feared that possibility too. So he held Siwoo’s hand tightly, trying to soothe him as Siwoo stood close, their bodies touching, eyes locked with anxiety.

“I won’t misunderstand. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”

Yeonho now fully understood just how much his words and actions could shake Siwoo’s entire world. He didn’t want to make him unstable again. Kim Siwoo had barely known peace since he was born. Yeonho genuinely hoped he could finally find comfort.

Still holding Siwoo’s hand, Yeonho turned to the man from next door, who stood there awkwardly, and gave a polite nod.

“Hello. Fancy seeing you here.”

“Ah, hello.”

“Were you able to resolve the noise issue with the upstairs unit?”

“Yeah, it’s not really noticeable anymore. I’m just going to let it go.”

“That’s good to hear.”

Yeonho smiled and kept the conversation easygoing. If what Siwoo said was true and he really had no connection to the man, then there was no reason for Yeonho to be hostile. He wasn’t holding onto Siwoo’s hand to childishly assert ownership in front of someone else. It was to keep Siwoo, who was still trembling with anxiety, grounded and calm.

Yeonho wanted to think as positively as possible. The school, the music, the perfume, even the shoes, maybe they were all just meaningless coincidences. Things anyone could have in common.

But Siwoo, watching their conversation with evident displeasure, abruptly cut in with a blunt, direct accusation.

“What are you really trying to pull by showing up in front of us like this? If you’re not a cultist, then what are you?”

Siwoo was convinced the man next door had approached them on purpose. There was no way it wasn’t intentional. The way he felt right now, Yeonho probably couldn’t fully understand it. Only the person experiencing it could feel the unpleasant dissonance.

Someone suddenly appearing who shared all these small traits that made up Kim Siwoo, it was disturbing and repulsive.

Unlike Yeonho, who had nothing in common with Siwoo at first except a name and a school, and who slowly absorbed every part of him over time, this intruder seemed to trample on that sacred bond. Through love alone, Yeonho had made every part of Siwoo his own. But this man’s existence felt like it cheapened all those precious moments. That’s why Siwoo couldn’t help but be hostile.

The man looked genuinely baffled, as though he had no idea what Siwoo was talking about. Then he stood in front of Siwoo, eyes locked, and shouted with frustration.

“I told you, I’m not religious! All I did was say hi and try to be friendly! What’s your problem? Do you just hate me for no reason?”

The moment the man raised his voice, Yeonho flinched. A bitter smile tugged at his lips.

Even to Yeonho, it didn’t seem like the two of them knew each other. The idea that they were secretly working together and pretending not to know each other was clearly delusional. And if this guy had been Siwoo’s ex in the U.S., Siwoo would never have sent Yeonho to his apartment in the first place.

But the man’s line – “Do you hate me for no reason?” – struck a nerve in Yeonho. No one hates someone they’ve only met twice without some reason. And if they really did hate someone for no reason, maybe it was actually because they subconsciously liked them and were trying to reject that.

It felt like this man was casually framing Siwoo’s emotions however he wanted. Maybe Yeonho was just being petty and jealous, but… wasn’t he allowed to think things like that? When it came to Kim Siwoo, Joo Yeonho figured he would never be normal again.

But, he kept those thoughts to himself. Instead, he focused on calming Siwoo, who continued to bristle with suspicion. They couldn’t afford to push someone into a corner without any proof. And he didn’t want Siwoo harboring such strong emotions toward this man, especially not emotions of this intensity, even if they were negative.

Yeonho remembered his first meeting with Siwoo, back when Siwoo had hurled harsh words at him. He didn’t want Siwoo to feel anything that intense for anyone else. He wanted to be the one Siwoo loved the most, and hated the most, for the rest of their lives. No one else should ever provoke him like this.

So he didn’t want them to keep talking, didn’t want this tense conversation to drag on. Joo Yeonho’s love was petty, and also meticulous. He wanted to monopolize every last bit of Siwoo.

“I’m sorry. I think my friend misunderstood something.”

Yeonho stepped forward to defuse the situation. He wanted to keep things smooth and neutral between Siwoo and the neighbor. It had been a mistake to even bring up this man to Siwoo in the first place.

The neighbor seemed to soften at Yeonho’s calm attitude and held out his hand for a handshake. But just as Yeonho let go of Siwoo’s hand and was about to reach out, Siwoo’s eyes flashed.

He seized Yeonho’s wrist and laced their fingers back together, making sure Yeonho couldn’t shake anyone else’s hand. Then, to cover up his impulsive and childish action, he smoothed things over with words.

“I’ll apologize for what I said earlier, for now. I think I jumped to conclusions.”

He said “for now” and “I think”, which clearly meant that if any intentional motive was discovered later, he wouldn’t let it go.

The man’s mood instantly lifted at the apology, and he turned to Siwoo with a smile.

“Alright then. Let’s get along. I haven’t even settled into this neighborhood yet, so why are the neighbors being so territorial?”

This time, he extended his hand toward Siwoo for a handshake. But Yeonho reached out and clasped it before Siwoo could.

Awkwardly managing the situation, they returned to their home. At the front door, a cold-pack delivery bag filled with fresh groceries was waiting for them.

“What’s this? Did you order something, hyung?”

“No. Must’ve been delivered to the wrong address.”

Yeonho bent down first to check the recipient’s information. Park *Hyun. 010-***-0223.

February 23rd was Siwoo’s birthday, but he didn’t use his birthdate as part of his phone number. Still, something about it gave Yeonho a bad feeling. He turned to the man next door and asked,

“Did you order this by any chance? It doesn’t seem like ours.”

The man, who had been opening his front door, came over to check the label on the bag.

“Oh, you’re right! Sorry about that. I must’ve written the wrong unit number. I keep making mistakes with the address since I just moved in.”

“I know it’s a strange question, but… is the last part of your phone number your birthday?”

“Yeah, it is. Why?”

The man’s answer left Yeonho looking like the sky had fallen, and Siwoo let out a dry, knowing laugh.

***

Yeonho thought that maybe it would’ve been easier if the two had actually known each other. How could two complete strangers have so many similarities? He felt as if something inside him had cracked and shattered.

Had he placed too much meaning on his relationship with Siwoo? Yeonho had believed that he and Siwoo were tied by fate from the moment they were born. That through loving each other, Kim Yeonho had become Joo Yeonho, and Joo Yeonho had become Kim Yeonho. He had thought of Siwoo as an extension of his own body. Was it all just a foolish obsession?

Yeonho curled up in Siwoo’s arms on the couch. Siwoo, noticing how obviously dejected Yeonho looked, gently patted his butt and kissed his cheek.

“He’s definitely doing it on purpose. Whatever the reason, I’m sure he got all this information about me in advance. He could be a cult recruiter my acquaintance introduced, or a stalker. Or maybe he’s after something else entirely.”

“Yeah. That could be it. I kind of hope it is.”

Yeonho thought so too. But even knowing that, he couldn’t help how unsettled he felt.

Joo Yeonho was uncomfortable, and Kim Siwoo became anxious because of it. So the only way to keep Siwoo from feeling uneasy was to hide his discomfort. But was it better to keep that feeling to himself, or to be honest about it for Siwoo’s sake?

Why was love so difficult? He wished he could handle it all more wisely.

Yeonho buried his face into Siwoo’s chest and just smiled, trying not to show how sulky he felt. He forced himself to stop clinging to the idea that they had been destined from the start.

Even if there was no special meaning or fate, wasn’t loving each other enough? And wasn’t it enough to keep that love going for life? The fact that the person Siwoo loved was him hadn’t changed.

Siwoo placed a hand on Yeonho’s back and listened to his breathing. It was rougher and more labored than usual. But soon Yeonho nuzzled his lips against Siwoo’s cheek with a peaceful, composed face. Still, Siwoo could tell something inside him didn’t match his calm exterior. He licked along Yeonho’s nape and lightly sucked on his skin before whispering,

“Can’t you just whine at me like you used to when something like this happens? You can pinch me or bite me too. That would make you feel better.”

“How can I whine about something that isn’t your fault? Like a kid. No one’s really done anything wrong yet.”

“Then where are you supposed to put those feelings? Are you just going to keep them bottled up inside?”

“Isn’t that what I should do? I’d probably regret it later if I took it out on you.”

Yeonho smiled with a troubled expression and closed his eyes. This situation was hard for Siwoo too. He understood exactly where Yeonho was coming from.

“You’ve really grown up, Joo Yeonho. But to me, you still feel like a baby.”

“Which version of me do you like better?”

“Both. I like you when you’re childish, and I like you when you’re mature.”

“Then I’ll show you both. In turns.”

Yeonho’s playful grin returned as he slid his hand under Siwoo’s shirt and scratched down his back.

“Ah!”

Siwoo let out an exaggerated yelp, pretending it hurt. The two of them tumbled off the couch and playfully rolled across the living room floor, limbs tangled together. Laying Yeonho carefully down on the carpet, Siwoo slowly pulled off his pants. He stroked Yeonho’s pale thigh and said softly,

“I’ll find out everything about that guy. I’ll figure out what he’s really up to.”

“Don’t look too deeply into it. Don’t hate him too much. And don’t think about it too hard. Especially not before bed. He might show up in your dreams.”

Yeonho grabbed Siwoo’s jaw and issued the warning clearly. Siwoo nodded and looked into Yeonho’s eyes as he answered with quiet seriousness.

“You’re my whole world. If you disappear, my world disappears too.”

Yeonho’s eyes filled with tears at Siwoo’s confession. No matter how much his heart ached, it was worth it just to hear that. In truth, he already knew.

He was happy now. And these were the kinds of worries only someone full of happiness could afford to have.