WP Chapter 40

Zheng Youli sat in the chair, expressionless, watching Jiang Yibai.

Jiang Yibai gave a sheepish cough. “So that’s the situation. Do you think… you’d be up for talking to him?”

Zheng Youli glanced over at Chen Yi, who was watching TV, and frowned slightly. “I’m four years older than him.”

“I’m ten years older, thank you for reminding me,” Jiang Yibai said. “I really don’t get how you younger people think these days.”

Zheng Youli sighed. Maybe it was because he had entered adult social circles early and had an older boyfriend, but even though he was only nineteen, he carried himself with a calm maturity that made it hard for anyone to treat him as a kid.

Of course, anyone who had seen Zheng Youli and Li Xun being all lovey-dovey, constantly touching and kissing each other, probably wouldn’t see him as a kid either.

“I should reflect too,” Jiang Yibai admitted. “From now on, me and… Shaorong will try to be more discreet at home. Try to create a healthier environment.”

That was close. He almost blurted out “baby.”

Jiang Yibai thought about it for a second and felt a little exasperated. He and Si Shaorong still hadn’t even had the chance to truly enjoy a good “unhealthy” night together.

Zheng Youli placed both hands on his knees and nodded. “Alright. I’ll talk to him.”

Jiang Yibai instantly clasped his hands together. “I’ll give you a discount on lesson fees!”

At the mention of a discount, Zheng Youli’s indifferent expression finally shifted, and he smiled shyly.

After the lesson ended, Zheng Youli went over to the sofa to talk to Chen Yi. Jiang Yibai had already introduced them earlier. What he didn’t want was for Chen Yi to confuse certain feelings. He hoped the kid could develop a healthy, positive outlook on relationships and wouldn’t go looking for answers online where he might fall into the wrong crowd. He was afraid of him getting hurt, so instead of letting that happen, he figured it was better to have Zheng Youli step in as a kind of “trusted older brother.”

To give the two teens a more private and relaxed environment, Jiang Yibai poured them drinks, set out some snacks, and then headed into Si Shaorong’s room.

Si Shaorong was hard at work. When he heard the door open, he didn’t think much of it. A few seconds later, he felt like something was off. He turned his head and found his boyfriend aiming a camera at him, snapping photos from every angle.

Si Shaorong: “…”

Jiang Yibai smiled and looked at him through the lens. “My baby looks so handsome when he’s working.”

Si Shaorong closed his laptop and rubbed his sore shoulders and wrists. Jiang Yibai snapped two more pictures from the side where the light fell just right, then put the camera down and said, “Your shoulders hurt? Want me to rub them?”

Jiang Yibai moved behind the chair to knead his shoulders and back. He was gentle and attentive, sweet as could be. He deserved a drumstick for this performance.

Si Shaorong closed his eyes, his mind still turning over plot points. Just as he was getting lost in thought, a shadow fell over his face. Before he could open his eyes, lips pressed against his.

Jiang Yibai hushed him softly and ran his tongue along Si Shaorong’s lips, then slipped it into his slightly parted mouth, teasing his tongue with his own. The warm, wet sensation sent a shiver over Si Shaorong’s skin, as if every pore had opened up and he instinctively reached up to pull Jiang Yibai closer.

Jiang Yibai shifted to straddle his lap, arms wrapping around his neck. Si Shaorong held him by the waist, sliding his hands inside the thin fabric of his sleepwear. Their bare skin touched, and he heard Jiang Yibai let out a soft, breathy sound.

It was like a signal. Si Shaorong straightened up, one hand cupping the back of his lover’s neck, massaging slowly. Their tongues brushed and retreated, teasing each other with lazy nips and lingering touches. Jiang Yibai pulled Si Shaorong’s lower lip into his mouth and sucked on it gently. His fingers kneaded Si Shaorong’s shoulder, not lustful, but so close, so intimate, it felt like their hearts were about to meet.

To Si Shaorong, this was the perfect kind of massage. The clutter of plots and characters in his head had been completely cleared out. His mind was fresh and bright.

Right now, the only thing he could think of was his boyfriend.

“Did I improve?” Si Shaorong asked, slightly breathless.

“You did.” Jiang Yibai smiled and pinched his chin. “You’re learning fast.”

Si Shaorong rested his forehead against his. Jiang Yibai then said, “I want to talk to you about something.”

“Hmm?”

“Other than Sun Ying and the few who already know,” Jiang Yibai said, “if students ask about us, let’s just say we’re roommates. I’m the landlord, you’re the tenant. That’s it.”

Si Shaorong pulled back slightly and looked at him. “Why?”

At first, he had thought Jiang Yibai was too open, but after getting used to the way he interacted with students like they were friends, he began to feel it was actually a good thing. Jiang Yibai respected everyone’s orientation. He didn’t flaunt it, nor did he go out of his way to hide it. It felt natural. Once Si Shaorong adapted to his way of thinking, he realized that looking at the world through Jiang Yibai’s lens made everything much simpler.

Maybe a lot of things weren’t complicated to begin with. It was people’s differing “views” that made them complicated.

He remembered a phrase he had once heard. What nature allows, culture forbids. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed both sensible and painfully ironic.

Jiang Yibai didn’t want to expose Chen Yi’s privacy, so he said, “I’m just thinking that maybe I need to reevaluate the way I relate to my students. I honestly don’t know anything about education. Maybe the way I’ve been handling things has been too self-centered.”

Si Shaorong looked quietly at him for a while and asked, “Is this about Chen Yi?”

Jiang Yibai froze.

He never expected Si Shaorong to guess it had anything to do with Chen Yi. He had always assumed Si Shaorong was emotionally slow to pick up on things.

“You…” Jiang Yibai looked a little embarrassed. “Why bring him up all of a sudden?”

Si Shaorong’s hand moved gently across his boyfriend’s back as he said, “Whatever you decide, I’ll support it. I’ll go along with it. But I don’t want you to keep things from me. I’m not… trying to overstep or meddle in your personal space. If you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll understand. It’s just…”

He paused, frowning slightly at his own words, then gave a self-deprecating laugh. “I know what I’m supposed to do. Give you space, give you freedom, try not to interfere too much. I can say all the right things. But when it comes to actually doing it, I’ve realized it’s not so easy.”

A subtle tremor passed through Jiang Yibai’s heart.

Si Shaorong seemed to be turning something over in his mind, as if holding his heart in his hands and inspecting it from every angle, studying each tiny ripple of emotion. He was pulling it apart piece by piece, trying to find logic, trying to find some kind of order within it.

But there was no logic when it came to feelings.

He realized a little too late how absurd what he had just said sounded. With a wave of his hand, he brushed it off. “Never mind. Forget it. I was just guessing.”

Jiang Yibai’s chest ached faintly. Si Shaorong was learning how to care about someone, how to want someone, how to love, and he had been through all of that before. Anyone who had ever truly loved someone would understand.

The tentative probing, the contradictions, the silent struggle and unease, the constant push and pull between wanting and fearing to lose.

Love became a mirror. It made you ashamed, made you doubt yourself, made you hypersensitive to every flaw. And the more you stared into that mirror, the less you recognized the person inside.

Because he understood this all too well, Jiang Yibai ached for Si Shaorong’s slow and clumsy first steps. It felt like watching his own past unfold again, right in front of him.

He did not want Si Shaorong to go through the same kind of hurt, so he quickly said, “I get it. I understand what you’re trying to say. I really do.”

Si Shaorong looked at him, slightly confused.

Jiang Yibai struggled to put it into words. After a moment’s thought, he said, “You’re right, but not entirely. This is about Chen Yi, yes, but it’s not because of him that I want to change how I do things. It’s that what happened made me reflect on whether the way I’ve been doing things is even right in the first place, or if it’s really necessary at all.”

“I used to think, if a student was curious and asked, I should just answer openly. Kids these days already know a lot, so I didn’t see the need to hide anything. Letting them develop a healthy view of relationships seemed like a good thing. For example, if they see how their parents interact, then later learn that men can be with men, or women with women, and that it can be just as natural, then I think that’s a good thing too.”

Jiang Yibai licked the corner of his mouth, choosing his words carefully. “But I overlooked something. Everyone grows up in a different environment, thinks in different ways. Even if I’m trying to convey something positive, that doesn’t mean the other person will absorb it the way I meant it. They might not even understand. There’s always room for misunderstanding between people. Sometimes what you say, what you do, even what they see or hear for themselves, none of it might get the message across the way you intended.”

Si Shaorong nodded thoughtfully.

“That’s why I want to change the way I do things,” Jiang Yibai said. “It’s not because of anything Chen Yi did. It’s just that this incident helped me realize something.”

Si Shaorong gently squeezed his hand. “I understand.”

Jiang Yibai hesitated again, then said, “What you said earlier, I understand that too. In a relationship, you’re supposed to respect each other’s space and privacy, and not interfere too much. That’s what people always say. But when two people care about each other, it’s not so easy to stay objective or rational. Some people just naturally prefer to keep their distance, and when they find someone else who’s the same way, it works. They live politely and peacefully. But others are possessive, clingy, and need to be involved in everything. That’s not necessarily wrong either. If the other person likes it, it can be something beautiful.”

“The important thing is that the two people in the relationship are on the same page,” Jiang Yibai said. “Not just repeating whatever those relationship advice articles say. Honestly, I’m the same. I don’t really like being kept out of things by my boyfriend.”

It was the first time he had said something like that to Si Shaorong.

Si Shaorong was surprised, and pleasantly so. It felt like he had taken one more step closer to Jiang Yibai’s heart, and that sweetness stirred up a kind of greed in him. He wanted more.

“I’d never keep you out of anything. You can know everything about me. Ask me anything you want,” he said, meeting Jiang Yibai’s eyes. “I don’t have any secrets from you.”

Jiang Yibai raised an eyebrow. “Anything?”

Si Shaorong nodded.

Jiang Yibai leaned down and whispered, “Would you be willing to bottom?”

Si Shaorong stared at him in disbelief.

He had never imagined that such a sincere and tender moment would be flipped on its head in an instant.

He grabbed Jiang Yibai’s wandering hand. “Why does it have to be me on the bottom?”

Jiang Yibai arched a brow. “So you really want to top me.”

Si Shaorong coughed, face burning. “That’s perfectly normal. I am a man.”

Jiang Yibai tsked. “And I’m not?”

Si Shaorong had never even considered this before. He had always subconsciously seen himself as the one taking the lead. Even though he had little experience and might make mistakes, he had been ready to try.

But now, apparently, things were not going the way he had imagined.

Jiang Yibai pinched his chin and grinned in that roguish way of his. “Just so we’re clear, I never bottom.”

Si Shaorong froze, completely stunned.