BCRD 4

Thud!

A strange sensation hit the back of my head. For a moment, I blinked blankly, then glanced downward. There was a piece of bread. Someone had thrown it at the back of my head.

I pulled out one earphone and turned around. A familiar face came into view. The guy was grinning and waving at me. It was Kim Junho, the so-called delinquent, though in reality, he was just a thug who enjoyed playing hierarchy games.

“Sorry. That jerk threw it for me, but I couldn’t catch it, huh?”

He pointed at someone with his finger. It was a kid who ran errands for Kim Junho and his crew. To put it bluntly, a bread shuttle.

I stared at the kid, and he looked flustered, not knowing what to do. His expression and actions didn’t seem like those of the culprit who threw the bread. It was obvious Kim Junho had thrown it and was making excuses.

“Hey, you idiot. Damn it, can’t you even deliver a piece of bread properly? You startled him, didn’t you?”

One of Kim Junho’s group put an arm around the shuttle’s neck, scolding him. The kid mumbled, “Sorry,” with an expression like he was about to burst into tears. There was no need to accept an apology from someone who was merely a victim.

“It’s fine.”

I gave a calm response, straightened my posture, and turned my attention back to my workbook. Then, a low curse clung to my back. “Tch, damn it…” It was Kim Junho’s voice. It meant he wasn’t pleased with my reaction.

Footsteps followed. I tried to ignore them, but I couldn’t as the sound clearly got closer. I should’ve put my earphones back in quickly, but I was a step too late.

Kim Junho approached my desk, standing arrogantly and picking a fight.

“Hey, my mouth’s too refined to touch anything that’s fallen on the floor, you know? So, I’ll let you have it. Pick it up and eat it. Consider it charity for a beggar like you.”

Since the start of the semester, he’d often mocked me like this. In my first year, there were some glares or sneers, but no one had directly targeted me to harass like this. This year, I ended up in the wrong class. My luck was just bad.

“Eat it.”

When I stayed unresponsive, he lowered his voice, threateningly insisting. It didn’t seem like he’d let this slide easily. From his behavior, it looked like he needed a punching bag to toy with whenever he was bored… but I had no intention of becoming that. I’d been hyung’s punching bag for four years. Go through that painful, exhausting torment again? Why? Hyung was someone who had a huge influence on my life, with a clear hierarchy due to age, and I was just a younger kid back then, so I had no choice but to take it. But Kim Junho? He’s someone who has no impact on my life. There was no reason to endure violence from some nobody.

I looked up at him directly. The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was like hyung—not just in his actions but in his build, too.

Hyung, who used violence as a weapon to torment me but ultimately crumbled pathetically before a greater force. The image of hyung being trampled so helplessly is still vivid in my mind. After that incident, hyung became nothing more than a laughable, pathetic existence to me. Maybe that’s why. This guy, who resembled hyung, didn’t scare me much. He was just disgusting and unpleasant.

“Thanks for the charity, but I don’t eat stuff that’s fallen on the floor either.”

You can’t show weakness to guys like him. Fear is the best bait for provoking violence. The more a target cowers, the stronger they feel; the more intimidated you are, the happier they get—that’s the trait of idiots like Kim Junho. I learned that from hyung.

“What?”

His glare turned fierce at my refusal. As if daring me to repeat myself, he raised his voice menacingly, so I clarified my stance once more.

“I said, I don’t eat stuff that’s fallen on the floor.”

“Wow, damn…”

He licked his lower lip with his tongue. Then he muttered to himself.

“This damn dirt-poor bastard is picky about food?”

Next, he leaned down, resting both hands on my desk.

“Hey, I’m giving it to you. You gonna disrespect my kindness like that? Huh?”

Cower or fight back. Those are the two reactions he wanted from me. He’d use either as an excuse to crush me in front of the others. His cheap intentions were so obvious that I didn’t want to give him the reaction he craved.

“Just pick it up and eat it while I’m being nice. Don’t piss me off even more.”

The bread on the floor wasn’t charity or kindness. It was just low-grade mockery. Not just me, but all the kids silently watching the situation knew that. Eating the bread would mean accepting his mockery. I knew that, but doing nothing was tough in this situation, so I stood up, picked up the bread from the floor, and calmly offered insincere thanks.

“Thanks for the charity. I’ll take it. So, this is mine now, right?”

His reaction wasn’t what he expected, and he frowned, his upper lip twitching. Ignoring him, I walked straight to the back of the classroom and tossed the bread into the trash without hesitation.

Ooh… A sound, either jeering or admiration, faintly echoed. Kim Junho let out a scoffing laugh, then twisted his face menacingly. His eyes were fiercer than ever, looking ready to charge and grab me by the collar.

Fortunately, the bell signaling the end of the break rang like a surprise attack.

“Alright, kids. Time for some fun with numbers!”

The homeroom teacher, who taught math, entered with a cheerful voice to start the class.

“Why are so many of you not ready for class? Huh? Hey, Yeon Haejin, what are you doing over there? And Kim Junho, what’s with you? That’s not your seat. What, you want to switch seats? Should I move you there?”

Standing at the podium, the teacher called out me, Kim Junho, and the others who weren’t seated. Kim Junho reluctantly returned to his seat, still glaring at me. I deliberately ignored his gaze and sat back down.

And so, the commotion ended without major issues, as usual.

---

“Here you go. I threw in a pack of braised beef as a bonus. Don’t hold back—eat heartily.”

I bowed in gratitude for the owner’s kindness.

“Thank you.”

It was a side dish shop I visited two or three times a week. It wasn’t so much that the food suited my taste, but it was on my way home, so I came often. Every now and then, I’d get a little extra like this. Last time, it was braised mackerel. They probably gave me more because they knew I lived alone without parents.

“Alright. Study hard and come back.”

I could sense a trace of pity in the owner’s gaze that they hadn’t fully concealed. It wasn’t particularly unpleasant or burdensome. I didn’t see myself as pitiful, but I acknowledged that others might see me that way. And from experience, pity often brought benefits, like now, rather than harm.

“Yes, I’ll come back. Sell lots.”

After the customary farewell, I left the shop.

The street by the market was, as always, bustling and noisy. I hung the bag of side dishes on my wrist and walked through the familiar scenery toward home.

About twenty minutes later, I reached my neighborhood, which was so familiar it felt tedious. While climbing the hill, I paused to check the state of the supermarket. Mugunghwa Supermarket, which had been the neighborhood’s anchor, was now closed, awaiting demolition. The owner, an old lady, had left. I heard she went to live with her daughter, who ran a sashimi restaurant in the provinces.

“That girl keeps nagging me to come, making such a fuss I can’t live in peace. Telling her worn-out mother to hurry up and reserve a spot in the grave. That damn girl. Sometimes I wonder if she was the one who died giving birth to me in a past life.”

I could still vividly recall the old lady grumbling like that. Even then, she’d cooked me instant noodles. I offered to pay, saying I had money, but she refused and instead pressed two crumpled 50,000-won bills and her daughter’s sashimi restaurant business card into my hand, saying with a worried look:

“If you’ve got nowhere to go, come by. I’ll feed you.”

She seemed to feel guilty about leaving me behind. Naturally, I felt reluctant too. No, not just reluctant—I was sad. Funnily enough, when hyung disappeared from my life, I was relieved, but when this old lady, who wasn’t even family, left… I was really, truly sad.

It made sense. How many bowls of noodles had she cooked for me over the years? Her noodles weren’t just food to fill my stomach. They were warm comfort, a balm for my wounds. And now, that singular comfort was gone. Of course, I was sad.

Honestly, I wished she’d just stayed here, but I couldn’t hold her back. So, I just smiled and said goodbye, thanking her and promising to visit someday. That was my last memory with Mugunghwa Supermarket.

Without its owner, the supermarket building turned into a haunted house overnight. When the old lady was there, it was old but cozy. Now, it looked so desolate that it wouldn’t be surprising if a ghost popped out. Feeling inexplicably lonely, I turned my gaze away and resumed walking.

About ten minutes later, I arrived home.

At home, I washed up, ate dinner, and studied. That was pretty much my after-school routine. Buy what I need, come home, play an online lecture, and study. Compared to other kids who spent their afternoons busy with academies or tutors, I was quite free.

Sometimes, I wondered if I was living too comfortably, relying on that card without enough urgency. But I had my excuses. I had tried to live busily. It just didn’t work out.

It was last winter break. I bought a used scooter and worked as a delivery rider. It wasn’t because I lacked living expenses; I just felt I should do something. Living solely off someone else’s card felt shameless…

The delivery job was decent enough. Sometimes, I faced unfair treatment from businesses or customers, or there were physically exhausting days with too many orders, but the pay was pretty good, so it was fine. If nothing had happened, I might still be doing it.

I quit after two months because of a sudden accident. I was hit by a drunk driver at dawn. Luckily, I wasn’t seriously injured, but I cracked a leg bone. That wasn’t the direct reason I quit, though. I stopped because of someone else’s decision, and that someone was none other than Mr. Baek Sahyeon.

Since I was a minor, I needed a guardian’s consent to be admitted to the hospital, so I called my aunt. I knew her number had changed, but I tried just in case. It was a futile attempt; all I got was a message saying the number didn’t exist. With no other choice, I planned to get emergency treatment and leave, but the doctor insisted my condition required more than that. Even I knew I couldn’t climb the hill to my rooftop room with a casted leg. So, after much hesitation, I called Mr. Baek Sahyeon. There was no other option. He was the only adult I knew besides my aunt.

I worried he wouldn’t answer, but thankfully, he picked up. His “Hello?” in response to my greeting still rings clearly in my ears. I was so grateful he didn’t ignore my call, so relieved, that I teared up a little.

I explained the situation to him. I was in an accident while working a delivery job, cracked a leg bone, needed to be admitted, and asked if he could help.

To my timid request, he replied with a sigh-laced answer.

“Wait.”

So, I waited. Even in pain, I felt a flutter of excitement.

But the one who showed up at the hospital wasn’t him—it was Hyunki hyung.

“Oh, kid, what were you doing trying to earn money and messing up your leg like this?”

Honestly, the moment I saw Hyunki hyung, I felt disappointed. It must’ve shown on my face because he clicked his tongue. Then, without me asking, he explained why Mr. Baek Sahyeon couldn’t come.

“Your boss is in Hong Kong right now, so I came instead. Don’t be upset.”

It was a relief to hear there was a reason he couldn’t come, but the disappointment lingered. Of course, I didn’t show it to Hyunki hyung. I knew it was ridiculous to feel upset in the first place.

Hyunki hyung took care of everything—from hospital admission to accident handling and discharge procedures. He even tracked down the hit-and-run drunk driver and got compensation. The driver came to me, kneeling and crying, apologizing profusely. To me, it looked like he was begging for his life. It seemed Hyunki hyung had thoroughly “educated” him, physically or mentally. Thanks to that, I got not only my hospital bills covered but also about ten million won in settlement money. Without Hyunki hyung, I would’ve just been left wronged.

The last thing Hyunki hyung did was dispose of my scooter. It was damaged but could’ve been repaired, yet he scrapped it without asking. I paid 700,000 won for it… And then he had the nerve to lecture me as if it was only natural.

“If you pull this kind of stunt again and stress out your boss, you’re gonna get it. He doesn’t seem like it, but he’s got a temper. If he gets pissed? Nobody can handle it. So just study hard, eat good food, and go to school properly. Got it?”

Though Hyunki hyung said it, I knew it was essentially a warning from Mr. Baek Sahyeon. I nodded obediently but slyly probed.

“But, does the boss actually care about me?”

The truth was, since getting the card from his office, I hadn’t seen Mr. Baek Sahyeon even once. There was no real reason to meet. Sometimes, I’d suddenly want to see him, but I didn’t have the courage to ask for a meeting without a purpose. We occasionally talked on the phone, but even then, only three out of ten calls connected.

To my cautious question, Hyunki hyung’s answer was, thankfully, somewhat positive.

“Of course. Why else would he send me to handle some nobody’s business? I’m a busy guy too, you know. High-class manpower.”

At his words, I smiled and said, “That’s a relief.” I don’t know what he read in my expression, but Hyunki hyung let out a deep sigh, flicked my forehead, and launched into a lecture.

“Why’re you grinning like an idiot? Your head’s barely dry, and you’re acting all smug. I thought you were a quiet kid, but you’re no ordinary troublemaker, huh? Get a grip!”

He went on about how a pretty package doesn’t mean the contents are good, telling me to focus on studying, go to a good university, and date a pretty girl later—useless advice like that. I let it all go in one ear and out the other.

Anyway, I was relieved to know he cared about me, even a little. Even if it was just a sliver of space in his mind, I was content with that for now.

After that, I lived like a proper student, as Mr. Baek Sahyeon intended, conveyed through Hyunki hyung. I went to school, studied, and occasionally hung out. Thanks to that, my grades, which were in the lower mid-tier until the first half of last year, started climbing. Now, as a second-year, I was getting good enough grades to be called an honor student. My homeroom teacher said if I kept it up, I could aim for a top Seoul university, maybe even SKY. I didn’t yet have much ambition for college, though. I craved acceptance, but…

On average, university costs about ten million won a year, forty million for four years. I didn’t have the means or ability to cover that. Even using his card felt like too big a burden. Still, I studied with college as my goal because I wanted to prove I was different from hyung, who lived like trash. I wanted to prove to myself—not anyone else—that I was capable, useful, and valuable.

Getting into a prestigious university would be the tangible proof of that. The two words “admitted” would validate my worth, and the pride of achieving that goal would surely have a positive impact on my future. I believed that without a doubt.

One more thing. I also wanted to show him. The results of my hard work. The positive shape of my life, born from the salvation he gave me.

And I wanted to hear it. His praise, saying I did well. His hand patting my hair like back then…

One of my daily routines was keeping a budget on an app.

“Ugh, this month’s looking rough…”

Today’s expenses, including transportation, totaled 15,800 won. It wasn’t even mid-May, and I’d already spent over 200,000 won. Buying three workbooks last week hit hard. Normally, I spend about a million won a month, 1.3 million at most. That includes 600,000 won for my rooftop room’s rent and 80,000 won for maintenance fees. Even trying to save, it was hard to cut back further.

After logging today’s expenses, I entered the total amount spent so far. In the two years since getting the card, I’d spent roughly 17 million won. Hyung said there was about 50 million won left, so I’d used about a third. At this rate, I could manage fine through this year and next, as long as I didn’t splurge.

I didn’t think the card’s owner would care if I spent over 50 million. Still, unlike hyung, I had some shame. I didn’t plan to rely on this card forever. I intended to return it eventually and had already set a return date in my mind.

If it weren’t for overdue rent and utility bills, I’d have more leeway… I felt a pang of regret today about using the accident settlement money for those. It was money I had to pay anyway, so there was no point feeling wronged.

After finishing the budget, I washed up and laid out my bedding.

With the lights off, lying down, a familiar silence enveloped me. I stared blankly at the blackened ceiling for a moment, then turned on my phone. As usual, I opened the messaging app and went to my chat with Mr. Baek Sahyeon.

“…Nothing today either.”

I didn’t expect much, but confirming there was no message from him brought a wave of disappointment. The latest message in the chat was one I sent yesterday. The one before that? Also from me. Same content.

Hesitating, I started typing a message. This was actually the last part of my daily routine—sending a message to Mr. Baek Sahyeon. I hadn’t missed a single day since getting the phone. For reference, I’d never gotten a reply.

Tap, tap, tap, tap… The text came together quickly to the sound of typing. The content was, as always, similar.

1

After sending the message, I waited for the read receipt. About five minutes later, it appeared. With a flicker of hope, I waited for a reply. But, as always, none came.

“At least he reads it…”

I gave a bitter smile, mumbled to myself, turned off the phone, and closed my eyes.

A night without monsters, a night accustomed to loneliness, another night of peace he gifted me—stacked up like that.

---

Sometimes, I crave a specific food, and today was one of those days. I’d been thinking about hamburgers since morning. When that happens, I have to eat it, or it’ll nag at me until I go to bed.

Leaving school, I headed not home but to the downtown area. Since I’d stayed for evening study, it was completely dark.

After about ten minutes of walking, I entered a street lined with various franchise restaurants. It was crowded, similar to the market near my house, but the vibe was different. More… dry and flashy, maybe? It wasn’t my taste, and despite coming here often, I still hadn’t gotten used to it.

I didn’t have a preferred brand, so I went into the nearest burger place. The restaurant was relatively empty. I picked a suitable seat and went to an open kiosk to choose a menu.

“Big Mac set… This seems like the best option.”

I picked the safest choice and moved to payment. Following the instructions, I slid the card into the terminal and waited, when a thought struck me. Kiosks are so convenient for me. I don’t have to worry about using a credit card while wearing a school uniform. At places where staff handle payments, I sometimes got suspicious looks for using a card. It was especially true at the side dish shop or the market yesterday. I even had to make excuses, saying it was my uncle’s card.

Soon, the screen displayed that the payment was complete. I grabbed the receipt and waiting number, reaching for the card. Suddenly, a hand shot out from behind and snatched it.

What the?

Startled, I quickly turned around. At the same time, an unwelcome voice rang out.

“Whoa, what’s this card?”

It was Kim Junho.

“I had a hunch, but is this a Shinhan card? A black one? Damn. Hey, look at this. It’s the real deal, right?”

It wasn’t just Kim Junho. His usual posse was with him. They closely examined the card he held up, each adding a comment.

“It’s black, alright. But why? What’s special about it?”

“Ugh, you idiot. Don’t you know about black cards? They’re super exclusive. Not just anyone can get one.”

“Huh? Really? Then how’s this beggar kid carrying it?”

Their gazes, focused on the card, naturally shifted to me. All four pairs of eyes were full of suspicion. It was unpleasant, but their doubts were reasonable. A card that’s not issued to just anyone, held by an orphan like me? It wasn’t a natural scenario. If I were in their shoes, I’d be suspicious too.

That didn’t mean I wanted to explain the card’s origin. I had no obligation to.

Skipping explanations or excuses, I held out my hand to Kim Junho.

“Give it back.”

He raised an eyebrow, inspecting the card again. Then he read the name engraved in the bottom left corner.

“Baek… Sahyeon? Who’s Baek Sahyeon? Not your mom or dad. You’re an orphan.”

“None of your business. Give it.”

“I wanna know. Whose is it? Don’t tell me you stole it?”

From his behavior, it didn’t seem like he’d return it easily. Annoyed, my voice grew firm.

“I didn’t steal it. I was given it.”

“Given? …What, are you selling yourself or something?”

What the hell is he saying?

A curse rose to my throat but I barely held it back. Spitting it out would just give him ammunition.

“I don’t do that kind of thing. It’s my uncle’s. So give it back.”

“Bullshit. An orphan living in a dump has an uncle? Tell the truth, or I’ll report you.”

“Go ahead. Report it.”

Rather than keep arguing with this jerk, that seemed better. Getting reported would be a hassle, since Mr. Baek Sahyeon and I were complete strangers, and using someone else’s card was illegal. Still, I wasn’t trembling in fear. I wasn’t using it without permission, so even if he reported it, Mr. Baek Sahyeon would handle it.

Acting unfazed, Kim Junho puffed out his cheeks, looking displeased. His friends just glanced around nervously. Meanwhile, I could feel people’s eyes on us. The tense atmosphere was drawing attention.

Noticing my irritation, Kim Junho soon clicked his tongue. Then he started spouting nonsense.

“Wow, so that’s how it is. Our Haejin, I thought you were a beggar, but you’re filthy rich? My bad for not noticing, man. Sorry? But already swiping a credit card, damn… I’m jealous. And a black card, no less. My dad doesn’t even have one of those. Guess I gotta start sucking up to you now, huh?”

His smirking face looked more annoying than ever. I didn’t respond, just flicked my outstretched hand at him. If he wouldn’t give it back, I was ready to report him myself.

Thankfully, Kim Junho soon placed the card in my palm. I quickly slipped it into my pocket and turned away from him. Just then, my waiting number flashed on the left side of the display board. My order was ready. I approached the counter and cautiously made a request.

“Sorry, but could you make this to-go?”

I had planned to eat here, but I didn’t want to stay in the same space as Kim Junho and his crew. A flicker of annoyance crossed the part-timer’s face, but fortunately, they agreed to do it.

Five minutes later, my burger and drink were packed and handed back to me. Kim Junho’s group was still eyeing me like they were keeping watch. Pretending not to notice, I grabbed the packed burger and left the restaurant.

“Haa…!”

The moment I stepped outside, a sigh-like exclamation burst out. The tension that had been tightly wound inside me loosened a bit. I must’ve been more on edge than I realized.

Anyway, it was a relief the confrontation ended without major issues.

…But why? For some reason, I had a bad feeling. Maybe it was because a thug like him had seen my card, but I felt uneasy.

“Damn it…”

The sigh didn’t fully vent my feelings, and a curse slipped out. The unresolved irritation and anxiety sank my appetite. Holding the burger I’d craved all day, my steps toward home felt endlessly heavy.

---

It’s gone.

The card is gone.

“What? Why…”

I was flustered. The card wallet I’d definitely put in my bag was nowhere to be found.

Why? Where did it go?

I emptied everything from my bag, turned it upside down, and shook it, but it wasn’t there. At this point, panic started creeping in beyond mere confusion. It felt like my blood was running cold.

Just in case, I rummaged through my desk drawers. Nothing. Next, I ran to the lockers at the back of the classroom. Maybe I’d carelessly left it there while changing for gym class? But it was a vain hope. It wasn’t there either.

After searching every possible place, I had no choice but to accept it. I’d lost the card.

“Oh…”

My mind went blank. Right now, with no income, that card was my only means of survival. Losing it… this wasn’t a small matter.

Clutching my hair, I frantically retraced my steps in my mind. Where did I lose it? This morning, up until lunch, I’d definitely confirmed it was there. I hadn’t forgotten it at home. I hadn’t taken it out of the classroom either, so I couldn’t have dropped it outside. It had truly vanished out of nowhere. At this point, “lost” wasn’t the right word—it was more like it had evaporated. But objects don’t just evaporate.

Not lost, not evaporated?

…Then there’s only one possibility left.

Theft.

I quickly checked the pockets of my uniform pants and jacket. The 20,000 won in cash I’d kept just in case was still there. If it was theft, wouldn’t the cash have been taken too?

What the hell is going on?

The more I doubted and thought, the more confused I became. A sudden headache and suffocating frustration made me groan through gritted teeth.

That’s when it hit me. Yesterday’s incident flashed in my mind.

“Whoa, what’s this card?”

“…!”

My head snapped back. My eyes met Kim Junho’s. That meant he’d been watching me for who knows how long. Why?

Could it be…?

Suspicion spread through my mind.

As I stared at him, he twisted his lips and jerked his chin, picking a fight.

“What’re you looking at, punk?”

“…”

It’s him.

He stole it.

My gut screamed it.

But I couldn’t confront him based solely on suspicion without evidence or witnesses. If I accused him outright, he could turn it around and attack me, making me the weird one.

“Why’re you staring, damn it?”

A barely concealed glee flickered across his mocking face. I could see it clearly. But even that wasn’t proof he’d stolen my card.

In the end, I couldn’t say anything and looked away. I couldn’t stop my clenched fists from trembling, though.

After realizing the card was gone, I couldn’t focus on class at all. I kept trembling with anxiety, and as time passed, the mounting frustration made me nauseous.

My head kept turning toward Kim Junho. My gut still screamed it was him, but without a reason to confront him, I was stuck. Telling the homeroom teacher wasn’t an option either. I’d have to explain the lost card to some extent, and I didn’t have the skill to make up a convincing story about the origin of a credit card in someone else’s name.

As soon as regular classes ended, Kim Junho left the classroom with his friends. I heard he takes private tutoring since he’s from a rich family and doesn’t do evening study. I couldn’t focus either, so I skipped evening study and left the classroom early.

My steps toward home were heavier than ever. My mind was a mess.

What should I do? Can I get the card back?

Coldly speaking, the best option was to tell Mr. Baek Sahyeon I lost it and ask for a reissue. But losing it and then asking for another felt too shameless. Plus… that card was special to me. Not just because it was my only means of survival. How should I put it? A treasure? A talisman? A gift? …Whatever it was, it held a value beyond money, and it was precious to me.

But did Kim Junho really steal it?

My gut said yes… but honestly, without clear evidence, I couldn’t be sure.

Just in case, as soon as I got home, I searched everywhere. From my bag to my desk, wardrobe, kitchen drawers, even the gap under the dresser… Maybe I’d dropped it at home and mistakenly thought I’d brought it. I clung to the faint hope that it was here, tearing the place apart.

The result? As expected. The card was nowhere to be found.

The only money I could use right now was 50,000 won in cash. I could cover the upcoming rent with the remaining settlement money from the traffic accident, but that was less than 2 million won. At best, it’d last two months. Beyond that, surviving without the card was tough. No, impossible.

My rationality judged that explaining the situation to Mr. Baek Sahyeon was the best course. But my sense of shame choked me.

In the end, I couldn’t bring myself to call him and spent the night staring at my phone, unable to sleep.

---

I hadn’t slept properly, so my head felt heavy. My mood was still at rock bottom, continuing from yesterday. My complexion must’ve been noticeably bad because, during homeroom, the teacher told me to go to the nurse’s office or leave early if I was sick. I considered doing that if it got worse, but I managed to sit through the morning classes. Not that I absorbed much.

During lunch, I couldn’t eat much, just barely staving off hunger before returning to the classroom. As soon as I entered, I saw Kim Junho’s crew. They were partially obscured by the backs of three burly guys, but as usual, Kim Junho was probably in the middle. He’d be sitting at his desk like a king, with the others surrounding him like servants—that was the usual setup for their group.

I stopped instinctively and stared at them. But then…

“For real? You bought it with that?”

“Yeah. I tried swiping it at a convenience store this morning. It worked. Guess it hasn’t been reported yet?”

…The conversation I overheard was suspicious.

“Damn, then we gotta max it out before it gets canceled. How much did we spend yesterday? A hundred?”

“About that.”

“Then let’s hit two hundred today. Go shopping? I’ve been wanting a new phone. Is that doable?”

“Hey, take it easy. What if we get caught using it like that?”

“What’s the big deal? We just say we were given it. Who cares, damn it. It’s not like he’s legit either. Like Junho said, it’s gotta be from some sugar mommy. He’s got a rich one hooked.”

“No way…”

“What do you mean, no way? Look at his face. Honestly, he’s got the kind of look that’d work… Oh.”

One of them cut off unnaturally and suddenly turned around. He’d noticed my gaze.

The guy who spotted me looked flustered. He even let out an awkward cough, as if he had something to hide.

His reaction confirmed it. My gut was right. I didn’t need to think further. The culprit was clear. It was them. More precisely, it was a theft orchestrated by Kim Junho, the leader of their pack.

Realizing I’d heard their conversation, they exchanged glances. I walked toward them. The two guys standing in front of Kim Junho stepped aside. As expected, there he was, sitting at his desk with one leg crossed.

I walked right up to him, held out my hand, and demanded confidently.

“Give me back my card.”

“…”

Kim Junho didn’t answer, just pursed his lips. I could hear him scheming, probably thinking of how to deny it.

Sure enough.

“What card? Why’re you looking for your card from me?”

He furrowed his brow and played dumb. His shameless attitude sent a surge of anger up my spine.

“I heard what you guys just said.”

“Said? Said what?”

“You said you tried swiping it. That it hasn’t been reported yet. That you’re gonna max it out before it gets canceled.”

No matter how you heard it, it pointed to using someone else’s card. He couldn’t deny this.

“So what?”

“My card went missing yesterday, and just now you were talking like you used someone’s card. You also asked me if I was selling myself. Based on that, it sounds like the card you’ve been using yesterday and today is mine. Am I wrong?”

My suspicion was reasonable, and my grounds for confrontation were solid. Anyone who heard their conversation would’ve figured it out. Even Kim Junho’s crew just exchanged glances, unable to dismiss my words as nonsense.

Despite the clear evidence, Kim Junho didn’t change his attitude.

“Yeah, you’re wrong.”

I was stunned. I didn’t expect him to give it back easily, but to be this brazen?

“Show me. Let me check if it’s really not mine.”

“No way. Why should I? You lost it because you weren’t careful, so why’re you coming to me? Damn, now that I think about it, this is ridiculous.”

Realizing playing dumb wouldn’t work, he suddenly stood up. Looking down at me condescendingly, he deliberately lowered his voice to intimidate.

“Hey, so you’re calling me a thief right now? Huh?”

“…”

Yeah, I’m calling you a thief. Because you probably are.

I stood my ground with silent affirmation. He scowled and pressed harder with his sleazy interrogation.

“Got proof? You got solid evidence I stole your card?”

Proof? I didn’t have any, but now I do.

“Your conversation just now is proof.”

That’s right. Their talk was the evidence.

“Bullshit. What did we say? Did we say we stole your card?”

Thud. He jabbed my shoulder with his finger.

“Did I say I swiped your card? Huh? Huh?”

His finger, a prelude to violence, shoved my right shoulder repeatedly. No matter how much I braced myself, it was useless. Kim Junho was much bigger than me. The strength difference was inevitable. If he got serious, I wouldn’t stand a chance.

If I said one more word, the next thing coming would be a fist. I could read the flow of violence better than anyone. The problem was, this wouldn’t end with one time. Abuse always came with continuity.

“Why aren’t you answering, damn it? Changed your mind?”

No. The more I think, the more I’m sure it’s you.

But… the physical fear I couldn’t shake silenced me. The scars of violence, not yet faded, seemed to bind me like vines.

My rationality whispered. Back off. Fighting will only hurt you. There’s nothing to gain. Just give up and tell Mr. Baek Sahyeon. That’s the best option.

In the end, I stepped back to avoid his finger. At my clear retreat, he flashed a triumphant smile, as if saying, “That’s all you’ve got.”

Swallowing my suspicion, certainty, and frustration, I turned around. The mocking laughter of the perpetrators clung to my back. It felt as filthy as the spit hyung used to hurl at my face years ago.

“What a pathetic idiot.”

I couldn’t deny it.

I lost the card because I wasn’t careful, and even knowing who took it, I couldn’t take it back because I was weak. I was an idiot.

Carrying my patheticness, dragging heavy feet, I walked to my seat. One step, two steps, three steps… The perpetrators’ mocking laughter clung persistently.

When I finally reached my seat.

“Hey, let’s skip class and go have fun. Hyung will treat you big time. What did you say you needed? A phone? Let’s swap everything out, damn it. Go for Apple, not Galaxy. They say even if it’s reported, they don’t cooperate, so it’s hard to catch. Well, if we get caught, we just pin it on that idiot.”

Kim Junho boasted loudly, clearly for me to hear. He was sure I’d back off in fear and do nothing.

Yeah, backing off doesn’t stop violence. It only makes it stronger. My retreat was essentially surrender. Surrender meant admitting I was weak.

When you’re weak, mockery becomes natural. When you see yourself as prey, you end up offering your flesh to the predator. That was the truth hyung’s four years of abuse taught me.

Am I going to live like that again, taking it?

The scars etched in my mind whispered.

No.

My patheticness, turned to anger, answered.

Thump, thump, thump…! My heart started pounding like thunder. The voice of reason faded, and the echo of impulse grew louder.

I reached into my pencil case. I grabbed a pen. Clutching it, I walked toward him. He was too busy cackling with his crew to notice me approaching. His carelessness was my chance.

“What the hell?”

He noticed me a step too late and turned his head. At that moment, stab! I drove the pen’s tip into his neck.

“Aaagh!”

He screamed. I dragged my arm downward. The pen’s tip tore through his skin. But it didn’t last long before it snapped.

“Agh! Agh!”

Kim Junho couldn’t recover from the surprise attack. I pushed him with all my strength using both arms.

Thud!

His large frame hit the floor with a heavy sound. The desk he kicked toppled over with a loud crash. Someone’s short scream followed, matching the chaos.

The classroom turned into a battlefield in an instant. I didn’t give Kim Junho a chance to recover, quickly climbing on top of him and strangling his neck.

“Give it back, you bastard! Give me my card!”

I shouted, consumed by rage. My head was sizzling. My throat felt like it held a blade, and my eyes burned like they’d burst.

I knew I wasn’t in my right mind. The pin holding my emotions in check had broken, and anger ran wild. But this feeling wasn’t unfamiliar. It was just like when I’d lunged at hyung with a kitchen knife years ago.

“Ugh, you crazy…!”

Kim Junho started thrashing. Still, I clung to his neck stubbornly. The problem was numbers.

“Hey, hey! Pull this guy off! Quick!”

Soon, his crew, grasping the situation, piled onto me. Multiple people yanking at once sent my body flying. I fell to the floor, and they started kicking me mercilessly.

“Damn it! This crazy bastard!”

“Hey, you little…!”

“You’re dead, damn it!”

Thud, thud, thud!

I shielded my face with my arms, taking the relentless beating. For now, I just had to protect my head. A broken leg or arm wouldn’t kill me, but a head injury could be fatal or crippling.

The violence continued endlessly, too much to count. No one around stopped them. They were surely watching… but what did I expect? In this group, there were only perpetrators, victims, and bystanders. Heroes who’d stop injustice didn’t exist in reality. I just had to endure until it was over.

As my body’s nerves, unable to bear the extreme pain, started to numb, it happened.

“Hey! What the hell are you kids doing?!”

A heavy shout crashed down like lightning. It was the homeroom teacher’s voice.

The relentless kicks stopped all at once. Breathing heavily, I slowly opened my eyes. Through blurry vision, I saw the teacher’s legs approaching quickly.

It’s over.

No, it’s paused.

Yeah, the teacher’s intervention wasn’t a period. Just a comma.

Under the sunset sky, I walked aimlessly down the usual street. Today, the path home felt unusually long. The lingering pain weighed down my body, making my steps heavy.

Strangely, no matter how much I walked, home didn’t appear. It felt like I’d been walking for two hours, moving forward nonstop, yet I hadn’t even reached my neighborhood.

Exhausted, I sat on a bench at a bus stop to rest. It had been a long time since the walk home felt this grueling. I hadn’t felt this since hyung disappeared.

I stared blankly at the sky. But my empty mind started replaying unpleasant memories on its own. It was what happened in the teacher’s office just now.

“So, Haejin, you’re saying you suspected Junho without any proof?”

The teacher’s face, looking at me incredulously as he said that, was still vivid. After hearing the situation, his conclusion was clear: it was entirely my fault. Why? Because I accused Kim Junho of being a thief without solid evidence and attacked him first.

Of course, he didn’t entirely take Kim Junho’s side. When I reported that I’d clearly heard Kim Junho’s crew talking about using someone else’s card, he did try to investigate with suspicion.