IOB Ch 14

Things realized while handling him as he staggered, drunk.

Choi Yisak is cute and full of charm.

Choi Yisak loves kissing and makes whimpering sounds every time the tip of his tongue presses firmly against the roof of his mouth. His thing is slightly curved to the right, and he produces a lot of precum.

And Choi Yisak likes me. That’s the satisfying conclusion I reached today.

“Hng, ugh!”

He let out a sweet moan while grabbing the back of my head. His trembling hands were pushing my face toward his crotch. His thing thrust deep into my throat. My eyes and nose stung from the lack of breath.

But I didn’t push him away. I liked how he roughly handled my mouth. Even if it felt like I might suffocate and die. I did well to offer to suck him off while he was drunk and his mind was wavering.

His crotch, which he said he got waxed regularly, was smooth and soft to the touch. It wasn’t unpleasant at all.

Gulp.

“Ah…!”

I swallowed everything he released without hesitation. It tasted fishy and bitter. He trembled violently, pulling my hair with enough force to rip it out. I could feel his lower abdomen quivering. I willingly let him use my mouth as long as he wanted.

“Haa.”

At some point, it was as if all the strength drained from him. His body, which had been brimming with tension down to his fingertips, collapsed like a deflated balloon. My scalp, which had been tingling from his grip, was freed, and my blocked airway opened up, but somehow I felt a sense of regret.

I slowly released his thing from my mouth and looked up. There he was, filling my entire field of vision, panting heavily. Completely melted by alcohol and pleasure. He didn’t even have the presence of mind to regulate his breathing, his chest heaving irregularly. His half-open eyelids twitched faintly. His shirt was crumpled messily, and his pants were undone, fully exposing his crotch.

Who else has he shown this to besides me?

Suddenly, it felt like my head was going to explode. The image of my skull shattering played vividly before my eyes. Brain matter spilling out, a crushed forehead. Just imagining him being intimate with someone else made me want to die. My brain rattled, unable to endure even these fabricated images.

I stared at him and said,

“Mr. Director.”

“…”

“You like me. Right?”

When he didn’t answer, I kissed him. I scraped the semen still clinging to the corners of my mouth with my tongue and passed it all into his.

“Ugh.”

He grimaced, as if the fishy taste bothered him. Strange. I thought it tasted good.

“Are you sleepy?”

“…Mmm.”

Having ejaculated while completely drunk, it made sense that sleepiness would hit him. His eyes flickered.

I looked down at him, lightly gripping and rubbing my own thing with one hand. I masturbated while keeping my gaze fixed on him as he slipped into a shallow sleep.

“Hoo…”

He’s so lovable. I want to devour him. Looking at him makes my mouth water. Sometimes, I want to cry. He’s an intruder who always barges into my life out of nowhere. Yet he doesn’t even realize he’s intruding. He’s foolish and cute.

I recalled a teacher who once lectured that sex is no big deal and that exclusive romantic relationships lead to irrational outcomes. I think that teacher said that because they never experienced real love.

To possess someone exclusively is a sacred and beautiful thing. It’s an eternal longing that consumes you the moment you fall in love. Sharing isn’t love. That’s what I believe. With all my heart, so serious it feels like my brain might explode, I am certain I cannot share Choi Yisak with anyone.

“…Choi… Yisak.”

I murmured his name, my lips trembling. At that moment, a wave of pleasure surged, and the urge to ejaculate rushed in. I bit my lips so hard they bled, holding back the climax. My body burned and felt like it might burst as I pulled him into a tight embrace.

I pressed my lips close to the ear of the drunken, sleeping man and whispered.

“But… it seems you thought about me a lot. Did you miss me that much?”

Of course, there was no response.

“I won’t quit music anymore. As long as you cooperate well, Mr. Director.”

While holding him tightly, I moved my hips lightly. I deliberately controlled the intensity to avoid reaching climax. My swollen lower half caused my stomach to tighten and my crotch to throb.

But all of this pain stemmed from him. It was a moment I wouldn’t have felt without him. I wanted to savor even the pain as deeply and for as long as possible.

“What performance did you hear that made you fall for me? Haa… I don’t remember the concours well. I was always dragged there reluctantly.”

My moans mixed with my words.

“Ugh, but the moment I struck the keys, I enjoyed it. So we must have been sharing the same joy in the same place. Fate is… truly moving.”

“…”

“You were destined to love me anyway. Why did you meet someone else first… no, it’s okay. It can happen. The past can’t be undone. Yes. What matters is that you love me now.”

His body, lying beneath me, twitched slightly. His stirring suggested he was slowly waking from sleep.

“It’s common for people not to know their own feelings. It’s okay. Being clueless and foolish isn’t a crime. I’ll just wait patiently.”

“Hng…”

He let out a pained sound, his face contorting.

“Tomorrow morning, you’ll probably pretend not to remember anything you did while drunk. It’s obvious. But I’ll let that slide too. I’m pretty lenient with you, Mr. Director.”

“Soo… I can’t breathe…”

He mumbled in his sleep, his shoulders twitching faintly.

“No matter what you say now, I won’t waver. I know that’s not your true heart.”

“…Ugh.”

“You like me, Mr. Director. You know that, right? You just haven’t realized it yet. You might avoid admitting it when you’re sober, but in the end, we love each other. That’s the conclusion.”

I kept moving my lips ceaselessly. It didn’t matter if my words didn’t fully reach him. I just wanted to pour out what I felt.

“Even if you go off to meet someone else, I trust you… no, that won’t do. That’s not okay.”

My lower body was still swollen to the point of bursting. My eyes throbbed, and my vision blurred.

“I love you.”

Only after saying everything I wanted to say did I release the pressure pinning him down. He hovered on the edge of waking. His flushed, relaxed face glistened with moisture in his eyes.

Kiss, kiss. I pressed kisses all over his face. While nibbling on his plump earlobe, he mumbled in a hoarse, cracked voice.

“Daddy…”

I froze, wondering if this was some kind of roleplay. Was this his kink? Did he prefer older men? That would be a problem. As I turned my head in confusion, I saw him with dreamy, half-awake eyes. Thankfully, it seemed he was just talking in his sleep.

He grimaced, furrowing his brow deeply. Kiss. I pressed my lips to his forehead.

“Headache?”

“Damn… bald bastard.”

“Huh?”

“I want to kill him…”

“Bad dream?”

Was it a dream about his father? I mentally sifted through what I knew about his father.

“Hng, sob…”

“Why are you crying again?”

Kiss. I kissed his eyes and cupped his cheek with my palm. His trembling lower lip and tensed jaw. He sniffled, continuing to mumble disjointedly.

“No. But there’s such a thing as morality… filial piety, right…?”

“Did your father appear in your dream?”

He looked at me with hazy eyes, like a child who lost their parents’ hand in a crowded market, filled with fear. I never knew a grown man could look so fragile.

“I… I hate that man.”

“…”

“But do I hate him enough to kill him? I’m not sure. The idea of a person killing another person is… and if it’s your own father, even more…”

“Well, you could kill him.”

I gently rubbed his trembling eyelids with my thumb.

“Mmm…”

Why is he so lovable? He’s a man with not a drop of shared blood. No, I’ve never even loved myself this much, let alone family.

When he finally fell asleep after taking sleeping pills. When he tossed and turned, groaning in his sleep. When he looked as utterly fragile as he did now. I feel an overwhelming love for him. My heart pounds. I want to do anything for him.

“Did your father ever hurt you?”

“Well… always.”

“How did he hurt you?”

“…”

“Tell me.”

“…What’s the point of knowing?”

I tried to catch him while he was soft and vulnerable, but he wasn’t completely out of it and responded warily.

“If he’s really a bad person, I’ll kill him for you.”

“Have you ever killed? It’s scary…”

“I’m the one who’s scared. To think I’d love someone this much. I was planning to live quietly and die quietly.”

Everything had long since become tedious. I’d lost my drive for life. If I hadn’t reunited with him, I would’ve just lived day to day, leaving no mark on this world before passing on.

His sniffles grew stronger as he stared at me blankly.

“That crazy… old man…”

“…”

“His very existence is harmful. If he hadn’t given birth to me, it would’ve been better.”

“Then we wouldn’t have met.”

“When you’re in pain, ugh, just lie down quietly and die. Why make me suffer again with his pointless greed… I just want to give up on everything.”

He went beyond sniffling, tears streaming down his face. I hurriedly licked the tears rolling down his cheeks with the tip of my tongue.

“I want to run away…”

His crying turned into sobs. I don’t know how to comfort people. I just desperately licked his tears. I couldn’t understand why he was crying so much, what was so painful and sorrowful.

“I just… want to die.”

“No, you can’t.”

“If I’m gone, it’ll be easier. If I disappear, everything will be easier.”

“…”

“My mom, my mom wouldn’t have died if I wasn’t here. If that damned bastard hadn’t taken a mistress… ugh.”

He was crying so hard he started dry heaving. This grown man, in this moment, felt so fragile, like he’d break if I squeezed him. Flustered, I pressed his wet eyes, rubbed his chest, and kissed his trembling lips lightly. Nothing could stop his tears.

This was different from the drunken sobbing earlier. This sadness was much deeper. Far older, more fundamental, drawing out a childlike side of him.

The chairman of Jaeyu Group. Choi Byunggwan. A name that seemed rooted deep in his core.

Post-traumatic stress disorder. That diagnosis suddenly came to mind. Some people go through that. They seem to live normally, but sudden anxiety and panic can bring them crashing down.

Does he know? How broken he is?

I don’t know. What made him this way. He probably believes he’s fine, so he wouldn’t kindly open up to me.

So what should I do? Worrying about him marrying someone else doesn’t seem like the priority anymore. First, I need to make him whole again. To keep him from wanting to leave, from wanting to die, to anchor him safely to this earth.

The easiest solution is to remove the source of his pain. A method I’ve already seen work wonders.

“It’s okay.”

I hugged him as he panted, exhausted from crying. He stumbled into my arms. His movements were so pitiful and sweet that I wanted to play music just for him. If I could place his desired screams atop a delicate, fragile melody.

Wouldn’t he be happy?

They say love is giving the other person what they want.

And I love Choi Yisak.