IOB Ch 20

But it seemed Choi Geonyeong hadn’t found anything useful yet. What does he even know? I suppressed the urge to snap at him.

Choi Geonyeong continued in a half-hearted tone.

“I think it’s probably one of the splinter groups that broke off from the main cult. Maybe they got pushed out by domestic politics and went to New Zealand, or something like that. In simple terms, they’re nobodies, so it’s no surprise there’s no information.”

I closed my eyes tightly and opened them again.

“Hey, hyung. Are you even looking properly?”

“Hmm…I just think, do you really have to go this far?”

His attempt to change the subject with a sanctimonious tone felt ominous.

“Why don’t you just break things off with that Woo Seonrim guy?”

Damn it, this again.

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“You said you’d help big hyung, didn’t you?”

The moment the word “big hyung” came up, my brow furrowed instinctively. Since Choi Geonyeong is tight with big hyung, they’ve probably already discussed all sorts of things. What they’re plotting, what proposals they’ve made to me, and so on.

Big hyung hasn’t given me any clear orders yet. Honestly, I’ve been secretly relieved lately. Chairman Choi’s health took a sharp turn for the worse after his own missteps, so it seemed I wouldn’t need to get involved. I just hoped his life would end quickly and the succession structure would stabilize.

“But… Chairman Choi’s basically locked up at the villa right now.”

“Stepmom’s trying everything to get him out. Seems like she’s already reaching out to the media too. She’s going around to every one of Father’s connections, causing a ruckus.”

“Ugh, she’s just provoking big hyung.”

I was scared that big hyung might make a move first. What’s so special about Jaeyu Group? I can’t understand why everyone’s so desperate to sit at the top. These are people who already have more money than they could ever need.

“Yeah. You hate getting tangled up in this kind of stuff, Maknae. But if you start helping big hyung, you won’t be able to get out.”

“…I know.”

Big hyung will probably use me like a chess piece. But I’m the one who agreed to be his pawn. If I help him, he’ll help me. That’s the only way I can keep Woo Seonrim completely safe.

“Hey, if you know, then get out. Do you want to go crazy again?”

“Anyone listening would think I’m normally sane. Thanks for the advice, but I’ll pass.”

“This is all because of Woo Seonrim, isn’t it? If you just cut him off, things would be easier. Why make life harder for yourself?”

“It’s way past the point of cutting him off. I’m about to debut him. I can’t back out now.”

“Damn it, you acting like this makes me want to help you even less.”

“Hey, hyung.”

“What’s so great about him that you’re digging for info?”

“You can’t just back out like this.”

“It’s my choice.”

“Come on, please.”

“You’ve spent your whole life avoiding getting tangled with our family. But now you’re going crazy over some guy… You’ll regret this later.”

My chest felt like it was clogging up. Losing my composure, I snapped in a sharp tone.

“Since when do you care so much about me?”

But Choi Geonyeong brushed it off casually.

“For a while now. I only hated you when we were kids. You’re not still holding a grudge over that, are you? I was young too. Did you think you looked cute to me back then? Honestly, I wanted to kill you.”

The child of a mistress who appeared out of nowhere. Of course, I was a thorn in his side. I get it. Not that I’m saying I understand him beating me up whenever he felt like it. But at some point, I instinctively realized Choi Geonyeong had accepted me as part of the family.

Choi Geonyeong loves violence but fiercely protects those within his circle. Like the son of a thug, he’s overly fond of the word “loyalty.”

Being chronically starved for affection, he’s naturally annoying. He’s better than big hyung, who seems barely human, but Choi Geonyeong’s affectionate concern wasn’t exactly welcome.

“Just live selfishly like you always have. Don’t do things that go against your nature. Getting involved with big hyung will only hurt you. Drop Woo Seonrim.”

“But.”

A flood of words surged up in my throat.

What if big hyung hurts Woo Seonrim? He openly threatened me last time. Am I supposed to ignore all that and just let Woo Seonrim fend for himself? Pretend he never existed in my life? He’s already been through so much pain. How could I abandon him? How am I supposed to do that…

I couldn’t breathe. My head felt blank as I mumbled.

“To protect someone, you need money and power.”

At least, that’s how the world I know works. That’s what I’ve experienced.

“Big hyung has both.”

As I said it, I recalled a nagging question I’d carried for over a decade. Why did my mom foolishly cling to that household? Why couldn’t she leave Chairman Choi?

I’d vaguely known the answer, but it became clearer now. It was to protect me. Because Chairman Choi had money and power.

“Get a grip.”

“…”

“You never dated, and now you’re acting like this because of some late-blooming obsession… Ugh. This isn’t love, Yisak. Don’t kid yourself. There’s no such thing as love in this world.”

“It’s not… love or anything. I just want to protect him.”

Like my mom did for me.

A deep sigh came through the phone.

“You’re so stubborn. Do what you want. I’m done helping.”

“Hyung…”

“No use calling me that. I’ll tell you what I’ve found so far, and that’s it. Don’t bring up Woo Seonrim in front of me again.”

I gripped the phone tightly as Choi Geonyeong snapped at me in an uncharacteristically sharp tone.

I was coordinating my schedule with my secretary until the very moment I stepped through the front door. My mental state had been a mess, causing me to neglect work for days, so I was swamped lately.

Even so, I made time to visit Gumi next week. That’s where Woo Seonrim briefly stayed after returning to Korea.

“That aunt who took Woo Seonrim in, the one running a rice cake shop at the market. You said she kept the shop closed and hasn’t been seen.”

She’s the woman who looked after Woo Seonrim. Not actually related, but she introduced him as her nephew to others. How did she connect with Woo Seonrim, who’d been out of Korea for over a decade? How did they know each other? I had countless questions.

I’d wanted to meet her earlier, but she suddenly vanished. She told people she was resting due to illness, but she wasn’t at home or any hospital. She’s clearly not just an ordinary person running a rice cake stall.

“She showed up again a couple of days ago. Here’s the address, go check it out.”

That was the last piece of info Choi Geonyeong gave me. True to his word about dropping the case, he only confirmed her return and didn’t dig further. I’d have to go talk to her myself.

I mentally listed what to ask as I took off my shoes. A vibration came from deep inside the hallway. Woo Seonrim was playing in the practice room. Normally, he’d come running to the door, but he’d never been so engrossed in practice that he didn’t notice my return.

The quiet entrance felt a bit lonely but also made me proud. This guy… he’s finally getting serious. Yeah, you’ve got to row when the tide comes in. To keep the explosive online buzz going, he needs to start activities before it’s too late.

To avoid disturbing him, I bypassed the practice room and headed to the dressing room. I wanted to listen to him play, but interrupting a genius’s flow felt like a crime.

I quickly showered, slipped on a robe, and opened the bathroom door.

“Argh! Damn it.”

Woo Seonrim was standing right outside. Tall, pale, with a face like his soul had left his body. Wearing all white, no less, I mistook him for a ghost for a second. My heart raced.

“Hey, you scared me. How long have you been standing there?”

I pushed past the blankly staring Woo Seonrim. He let himself be pushed but quickly stuck close behind me.

“You should’ve said you were home. I was practicing and didn’t notice.”

“Looked like you were practicing, so I left you alone.”

Why’s he so clingy? I glanced at him and instinctively tightened my bathrobe. Woo Seonrim brushed my hair.

“It’s wet.”

“Dried it roughly.”

“Your hair’s soft.”

“The result of consistent care. Anyway, how long are you gonna follow me? Move. I need to change.”

Woo Seonrim followed me into the dressing room and stared at me blankly.

“You’ll just take it off soon anyway. Do you really need to change?”

“Huh?”

“Director, don’t tell me you forgot.”

Woo Seonrim’s forehead creased slightly.

“Today’s the day we agreed to practice. How could you forget? That’s too much. I was so excited I couldn’t sleep last night. I played the piano to calm down, but it didn’t work…”

“What, what practice? What are you talking about?”

“Anal stretching.”

“Damn it, when did I ever agree to that!”

I hurriedly stepped back two paces and gripped the front of my robe tightly. No wonder his face seemed suspicious.

“When we jerked each other off in the car.”

“I never agreed to that shitty practice!”

I just let it slide in the heat of the moment.

“You didn’t refuse either.”

“This guy’s really doing whatever he wants. Why today?”

“You said today’s the only evening you’re free.”

I vaguely remember him asking about my evening schedule and me casually answering. Woo Seonrim took unrelated events and arbitrarily decided today was the day to “open Choi Yisak’s ass.”

“Stop talking nonsense and get out. Try seeing the world a bit more objectively.”

“…So we’re not doing it today?”

Woo Seonrim mumbled, slowly rolling his big eyes. Normally expressionless, he was now blatantly showing disappointment and sulkiness.

“I just wanted to help you, Director. We’re going to have penetrative sex eventually, right? Even if you don’t want to, it’s unavoidable. It’s part of our mutual contract.”

I’d planned to vaguely void that contract and bolt… My original plan felt increasingly out of reach.

“It hurts at first if you do it back there. I’ve heard and seen enough to know. You need time to adjust. Really. Trust me.”

“So… what are you planning to do to me?”

“Oh, I bought finger condoms. I got some other tools too, but starting with fingers slowly is best. Today, let’s focus on finding the exact prostate location.”

Woo Seonrim was dead serious. Is he on a mission to conquer my ass? Is he crazy? What’s he trying to do, digging into a guy’s backside? Does that turn him on? Is it fun? I was dumbfounded.

“When did you even buy tools?”

“Online.”

“Ugh…”

“I want us to have pleasurable, healthy sex.”

“Look, it’s obviously not healthy. It can’t be. You’re just trying to shove your dick in me. You think I’ll be fine with that monster?”

“You nailed the point. That’s why we need to stretch you out first. I know my cock’s above average. It’s a lot for your first time.”

“Yeah, yeah, your dick’s huge… Congrats, you’re amazing.”

“Thanks.”

“That’s not a compliment, damn it.”

Thud. My back hit the wall. I must’ve been backing away unconsciously. I looked like a dog fleeing with its tail between its legs.

Woo Seonrim started moving toward me softly. My chastity, which I’d guarded for thirty years—not that I wanted to, but was forced to—was under threat. A chill ran down my spine.

“If you’re embarrassed, want to do it after drinking?”

“Isn’t there an option to just… not do it?”

“Nope. That’s not an option.”

Woo Seonrim answered gently but firmly. A bad feeling hit me that I wouldn’t break his stubbornness. My body froze. We’d already seen each other’s dicks, but giving up my ass was a whole different story. First of all… it’s scary! Isn’t that a normal reaction for anyone?

I don’t see why we need to drag this out with practice. If you’re going to get hit, it’s better to take it hard and fast and be done with it. Getting poked bit by bit just increases the total days of suffering. Shouldn’t people live more rationally?

Trying to avoid Woo Seonrim’s intense gaze, I voiced my opinion.

“But I really don’t care if it hurts. I’m used to enduring pain. Can’t we just do it once later and be done, pain or no pain?”

Woo Seonrim, who’d been listening silently, raised an eyebrow. His lazy, lethargic demeanor suddenly turned sharp.

He stared at me for a long time without answering. A suffocating silence passed. Whenever Woo Seonrim looked at me so quietly, like a machine, my insides twisted. Useless tension built up, and I felt an anxious urge to obey his next words. Like I was under some spell controlling my mind.

After a long pause, he spoke.

“Let’s try it today and decide. If it doesn’t feel good at all, I’ll do as you say. Fine, we’ll just do it once later and be done, pain or no pain, injury or no injury. Just to fulfill the contract.”

“…”

“But if you feel even a little pleasure today, please cooperate sincerely for pleasurable sex moving forward. How’s that?”

“You’re… pulling some weird trick again.”

“Trick?”

I’m not an idiot. In society, people call me perceptive and cunning. But in front of Woo Seonrim’s sly whispers, my brain always seems to pause. The circuits tangle, creak, and I end up swept along by him.

Why is that? Looking at his face closing in, I vaguely understood. Woo Seonrim was born to captivate people. Damn it, he’s too good-looking.

It was the same at the Han River, not to mention the online buzz. Even in daily life, he constantly throws me off.

“There’s nothing bad for you, Director. If you try it today and it doesn’t feel good, I won’t bother you about it anymore. If it does feel good… well, you’ve gained a new sensation. Isn’t that nice? It enriches your life.”

His smooth talking without a change in expression was no small feat.

“And…”

Woo Seonrim lowered his voice, leaning in to rest his forehead on my shoulder. Caught in the storm of his words, I froze.

“What, what’s with you?”

“I just wanted to do naughty things with you today, Director.”

“…”

“I kept waiting. I’m upset. You promised.”

Where was the Woo Seonrim who’d been pushing me with his bizarre logic? Now he was just a big baby whining. My head throbbed. The problem is my eyes, finding this cunning guy cute.

Choi Geonyeong’s words about cutting Woo Seonrim off to make life easier flashed through my mind. Yeah, that’s probably true. But it’s already too late. My ambitious plan to exploit only his music was long gone, the damn sex contract felt like it’d be faithfully fulfilled, and cutting Woo Seonrim out of my life seemed impossibly distant now.

“Damn… Just get some alcohol.”

In the end, I spoke in a half-resigned state. Woo Seonrim lifted his head from my shoulder, met my eyes, and smiled faintly. Ugh, why is he so damn pretty? It’s annoying…

“As expected, doing it with alcohol is better. It’ll make you less shy.”

“Ugh…”

“I’ll make sure it feels good.”

“Whatever. My life’s ruined because of you…”

“Yeah, I really love you too, Director.”

“…”

I just shut my mouth, deflated. His random love confessions didn’t even surprise me anymore.

The smell of alcohol rose with every breath. I drank too much. I thought getting drunk would dull my senses, helping me endure whatever Woo Seonrim did like a stone.

But maybe I overdid it. He kept trying to stop me, so out of spite, I poured more down. Plus, whenever our eyes met and that strange tension flared, it was hard to handle without alcohol.

It was an indescribable vibe. Uncomfortable, awkward, itchy, hyper-aware of my limbs, fingers twitching… The longer the silence, the worse it got.

In the end, I collapsed onto the bed, thoroughly drunk.

“Ha…”

My vision spun. My body was drained, and I could only lie there. The soft bed enveloped my back, clouding my mind further. It felt like I’d be sucked into the sheets.

Woo Seonrim was saying something nearby, but it all sounded like faint echoes.

“Ah, whatever… I don’t know…”

Mumbling, I drifted off briefly. When I opened my eyes again, the deed was already happening.

“Ugh.”

My lower body felt sticky and cold. What was this gross, slimy feeling? It was irritating, disrupting my sweet sleep. Frowning deeply and looking down, I nearly fainted.

“Hey, damn it… What are you doing?”

I wanted to scream sharply, but my tongue was tangled, and the words wouldn’t come out properly. Woo Seonrim, positioned between my legs, looked up at me and gave a faint smile.

“I thought you were going to keep sleeping like that. I’m glad you woke up.”

Glad? Is this something to be glad about? A thick cushion was propped under my lower back, my legs were spread wide, and my cock and the area around my crack were slathered with lube. To top it off, both Woo Seonrim and I were completely naked.

Woo Seonrim gently stroked my cock and said,

“Don’t worry. I haven’t put anything in yet.”

“This, this, hey, this isn’t okay. This really isn’t okay.”

I stammered urgently. Facing the reality in front of me, fear surged in. I must’ve been bewitched by this guy again to allow something so absurd. To think I have to offer my rear to Woo Seonrim in this humiliating position. I just wanted to bite my tongue and die.

“Are you scared?”

“Wouldn’t you be scared if it were you? Why, why do I have to go through this… I’m not the only one with an ass. You have one too, damn it!”

I twisted my body, trying to escape, but Woo Seonrim grabbed my ankle instantly. He casually slung my legs over his shoulders and spoke in a calm voice.

“Being the one penetrated isn’t my thing…”

“Then you think it’s my thing, so I’m stuck like this?”

“Oh. You prefer the other way? I didn’t know you wanted to top me that badly.”

“Damn it, this guy’s twisting things however he wants again…”

“If you desperately want it, I’m not opposed to offering my rear. But I know more about this stuff. For the first time, it’s better if I take the lead, don’t you think?”

Woo Seonrim looked down at me shamelessly and whispered.

“So I’ll keep going. Relax.”

I hated how my body slightly relaxed at his calm whisper. Even when one of his hands held my left ankle and the other invaded my lower body, I couldn’t muster the strength to resist.

“The lube’s dried up already.”

A squelching sound came as he squeezed the tube, and cold lube was applied to my lower area. My lifted hips quickly became slick again. My body tensed with repulsion, but oddly, my cock was already half-erect and showed no signs of softening.

My vision was filled with bare skin. Today, Woo Seonrim’s shoulders looked especially pronounced. His chest seemed firmer than before. His body appeared to have no fat at all. The faint outline of his ribs was visible under his flat chest. His sturdy frame made me feel like I’d get hurt if we collided.

“Why are you staring like that?”

Woo Seonrim said while spreading lube around my crack. Startled for no reason, I shifted my gaze to the vague air.

“What. You’re right in front of me, so I’m looking. Why’d you even turn on the light… ugh!”

Before I could finish, a pressure hit my lower body. Woo Seonrim, with a condom on his index finger, was pressing around my hole. A burning sensation spread through my ass, sending chills across my body.

“Doesn’t it make it more exciting when you can see clearly?”

Woo Seonrim’s cock had been rock-hard for a while, pressed tightly against his lower abdomen.

“It does for me. I want you to keep looking at me, Director.”

“Ah…”

Unlike his languid voice, his thick index finger began persistently pressing my lower area. A strange sensation, both ticklish and throbbing, continued. It wasn’t purely pleasurable, but I didn’t feel the urge to push him away.

“I put a lot of lube, so it’ll go in smoothly.”

“Ugh, uhh…”

“You look like you’re about to cry. No need to be scared.”

Woo Seonrim leaned down and kissed my forehead. At the same time, my hole stretched as his finger began to slide inside. Thanks to the lube and condom, half the finger went in smoothly. A wave of discomfort and foreign sensation hit me, unlike when he was just teasing the surrounding muscles.

“Damn…”

A curse slipped out. It felt like a skewer had pierced through my core. Just one index finger, and yet. He plans to put his dick in here later? It didn’t seem physically possible. Even if he managed it, this had to be an utterly inhuman act.

Blood rushed to my head, and my eyes felt hot. Glaring at Woo Seonrim, I said with all the resentment I could muster,

“You bastard… it doesn’t feel good at all.”

“I haven’t even done anything yet.”

“It just hurts. It’s already hurting.”

“You sure whine a lot, Director.”

“What? This guy’s treating me like a kid… ugh! Hey, it hurts…”

If someone’s talking, you should listen. But Woo Seonrim ignored me and pushed his finger deeper. My thighs trembled. I vividly felt the finger stretching me open. Then, inside, he started wiggling it around.

“You look like you’re going to cry.”

“Yeah, I really want to cry… Wouldn’t you, ugh, if you were… haa, in my place…”

Then, as Woo Seonrim slightly bent his finger and pressed inside, a different sensation emerged amidst the discomfort. My clenched jaw loosened, and my tongue twisted.

“Haa, huh…?”

Press, press. His finger relentlessly targeted one spot. Woo Seonrim stared at me intently, moving his hand almost mechanically.

“Hng, ugh, mm, mph.”

An embarrassing sound escaped my mouth, and I hurriedly covered it with both hands. I was complaining about the pain seconds ago, so why was this damn moaning nonstop…

Woo Seonrim leaned closer and asked,

“Does it feel good?”

I didn’t have the strength to shake my head. I’d die before admitting it, but excitement suddenly surged. It was bewildering. My whole body trembled, and my hips felt like they were melting.

“Haa, mph, mm…!”

Desperate to stifle the moans, I pressed my hands harder over my mouth. Each time Woo Seonrim moved, my inner walls rubbed, making loud noises. The initial discomfort and pain had mostly faded, replaced by pleasure.

“You seem really turned on. You’re hard up front too.”

My cock twitched in response to Woo Seonrim’s low, resonant voice.

“This spot I’m pressing is your prostate.”

“Haaa…”

“I was going to use a toy next, but that won’t do. I don’t like the idea of you getting turned on by something other than me.”

I was starting to not care what Woo Seonrim was babbling about. My toes kept curling, and my legs spread wider.

All the changes in my body were bewildering and uncontrollable. It’s absurd to be this aroused. To feel this much pleasure even in a drunken, dulled state—if I were sober, I’d probably pass out.

Gradually, my body and mind felt disconnected. The hands covering my mouth lost strength. When Woo Seonrim kissed the back of my hand, my arm muscles gave up entirely. My limp hand fell to the side, and moans poured out uncontrollably.

“Haa, ahh…!”

“Good thing you’re feeling it well from the start.”

“It’s… weird, hng, slow… slow down a bit.”

The hand that was playing the piano earlier was now moving swiftly in and out of my hole. Squelch, squish, squelch. Wet sounds echoed from below. I was scared my mind would melt completely if this continued.

Then Woo Seonrim pulled his finger out briefly and flipped my limp body over.

“Mph.”

My face buried into the bed sheets. Suffocating and dizzy, I didn’t even know what position I was in. It felt like control of my body had been handed over to Woo Seonrim. He wrapped his arm around my lower abdomen, firmly lifting me. I panted with only my lower body raised.

Thud. His finger went back inside.

“Ugh!”

My hips twisted reflexively. My inner walls enveloped his thick, long finger. The protruding knuckle pressed against my heated lower area.

“Director, let’s keep going until you come from just your back.”

“Crazy… hng.”

“I think you can do it, Director.”

I felt like a madman, whimpering helplessly at a single finger. This filthy mess couldn’t be me. Yet my hips kept bucking and my pelvis twitching on their own.

My untouched cock kept leaking precum. Fully erect to the max, even the base felt tingly.

“Hng, sob, ah…”

At some point, without realizing, I was rubbing my cock against the bed sheets. Each time the shaft grazed the soft fabric, my hole tightened in sync.

“Director.”

The voice from behind made my hair stand on end.

“When you’re with someone else… you move your hips like this, huh?”

The hand digging into my hole grew rougher and fiercer. The arm around my lower abdomen tensed with strength.

“Haa, no, it’s not… like that.”

“Doesn’t matter. From now on, you’ll only do it with me.”

“Hoo, hng…”

Woo Seonrim leaned down, embracing my back. Our bare skin pressed together without a gap. I could feel his heartbeat through my back. Thump, thump, thump. It mingled chaotically with my own pulse. He brought his lips close to my ear and said,

“See? I told you it’d feel good.”

Despite being just as hard as me, he spoke in a calm, monotone voice.

“Please cooperate for our successful sex going forward.”

I wanted to tell him to screw off, but my reason had already been consumed by pleasure. Helplessly, I bit the bed sheets with my canines.

How long did it go on? The moment came when I understood what he meant by coming from just my back. An orgasm unlike anything I’d ever experienced surged in. Not a drop of semen came out, but my whole body convulsed.

“Ah, haa, wait… ahh!”

If Woo Seonrim hadn’t held me down, my limbs would’ve flailed wildly. I felt so much that I embarrassingly teared up.

He immediately grabbed my shoulder, turned me around, and stared at me. Moments later, he kissed my face, undoubtedly a mess with saliva and tears.

“Haa, sob.”

I let out a pained sound involuntarily. It was just bewildering, scary, and shocking. Why did it feel this good, damn it? What the hell was all this…

“Your lower part feels messy, right?”

Not just my body but my entire mind felt messy. The heat below didn’t subside easily. The excitement I felt was an undeniable truth. I… came from Woo Seonrim’s finger in my rear…

I suddenly wanted to die. I was certain I’d want to die even more once I sobered up.

“I’ll clean you up. Just need to take care of myself.”

It felt like my soul was leaving my body in real time. I heard Woo Seonrim gripping and stroking his cock behind me but couldn’t turn to look. His gaze on my naked body felt too raw.

“I want to put it inside you soon, Director.”

Amidst it all, Woo Seonrim’s murmur carried a fresh excitement. It didn’t match the lewd, filthy reality. His voice sounded genuinely happy, like someone in an ordinary, cute relationship.

I don’t know when I fell asleep. Waking up parched from the alcohol, I found myself clinging to Woo Seonrim, both of us naked. No, I was the one unilaterally treating him like a giant stuffed toy. His lean, dry body filled my arms like brittle branches.

“Why’d you wake up?”

Woo Seonrim was watching me with wide eyes in the dark. Hearing his voice snapped my hazy mind awake. A splitting headache came as a bonus.

“This, damn… what are you.”

“Woo Seonrim.”

“No, what’s with you. Why are you in bed…”

Objectively, it was ridiculous for me to complain. I was the one clinging to him with both arms while he just lay there quietly.

Like a thief caught red-handed, I made a disgusted face and hurriedly pushed him away. Woo Seonrim let himself be pushed without resistance and said,

“You passed out after I cleaned your rear. I was going to my room, but you suddenly grabbed me and told me not to go…”

“Enough. I don’t want to hear it. Stop.”

“No need to be embarrassed. I liked it.”

“I said shut up. Damn it… where are my clothes.”

To think I’d been pressed against Woo Seonrim’s naked body the whole time. I didn’t want to believe it. I don’t even have a habit of cuddling anything while sleeping, so why did I do that? Like last time I got drunk, alcohol is the root of all evil. I’m the sinner for pouring it down my throat again despite knowing better.

I threw off the blanket, turned on the mood lighting, and searched for my clothes. I grabbed the underwear off the floor and put it on first. As I rummaged for my pants, Woo Seonrim, staring at me quietly, said,

“You seemed to have a nightmare earlier.”

“Nightmare? Don’t remember.”

“You were talking in your sleep. Saying ‘Mom.’”

I froze. Thud. The pants I’d picked up fell back to the floor.

“…I said that?”

“Yeah.”

“Must’ve been a random dream.”

I brushed my disheveled hair a couple of times and looked at Woo Seonrim. His expression was subtle.

How much did I babble in my sleep? I started feeling uneasy. Everyone has something they’d rather not have dug up. For me, that’s my mom.

“Come to think of it, you’ve never told me about your mother.”

“…Do I have an obligation to?”

“No. You don’t.”

“She died in an accident when I was a kid. That’s it.”

I deliberately spoke in an annoyed, dismissive tone, trying to ignore the unpleasant memories creeping in.

“But you’re the one who should be talking about this. After messing with someone’s rear like that.”

Sharing a piece of the past as payment for physical intimacy. That was our childish deal and promise. It’s been like that from the start—our relationship always involved a price. It feels closer to a contract than a romance. Staying at that level is mentally easier.

“What are you curious about?”

“Just your family. How you ended up caught by that cult too.”

“Oh. It’s pretty boring.”

Woo Seonrim slowly sat up. The blanket slid off, revealing his lower abdomen and hip bones. I hurriedly pulled the blanket back up to his navel.

“Tell me even if it’s boring.”

I’d already looked into his family quite a bit, but hearing it from him would feel different. Woo Seonrim tilted his head and tucked his side hair behind his ear. The gesture briefly stole my attention. Damn, he’s annoyingly pretty…

He started speaking in a soft tone.

“I don’t know who my dad is. My mom never told me. It was just her and me from the start. For a single-parent household, we lived decently enough. Probably because my dad was sending child support regularly.”

“Really? He didn’t just knock her up and run? You could’ve met him if you tried.”

“Why would I?”

“Aren’t you curious who he is? You never asked your mom?”

“Not really curious. What’s knowing going to change?”

Woo Seonrim looked genuinely puzzled by my question. Trying to understand him with normal logic is, as expected, pointless.

“That’s how I grew up… then I started playing the piano. Um, then I met the teacher and went to New Zealand.”

“…Hey, isn’t that too much of a skip?”

Woo Seonrim stared blankly into space, scratching his cheek.

“That’s really all there is.”

“How’d you get tangled up with that teacher guy?”

“Oh. He saw me at a competition and wanted to sponsor me. He contacted my mom, who was acting like my manager, and that’s how it started.”

“Sponsor, my ass.”

Listening to Woo Seonrim sometimes stirs an uncomfortable feeling that chokes me. It happened now too. When he habitually uses honorifics for that cult bastard or talks about his experiences like they’re nothing.

The power of language is strong—it’s hard to shake a concept once it’s ingrained. To Woo Seonrim, that guy is still “teacher.” I read that even people who escape cults after years of exploitation struggle to break free from the group’s language. I’ve been looking into this stuff because of Woo Seonrim.

He keeps acting like it’s no big deal, but is he really okay? Honestly, he doesn’t seem sane. Is he somewhat okay despite going through that because he’s crazy, or was he never okay to begin with? Did growing up in a space of sexual abuse make him obsessed with purity?

I was just curious about Woo Seonrim. I wanted to know the shape of his pain, the depth of his scars. I had this filthy, useless confidence that, unlike others, I could understand him to some extent.

You can’t save another person. I’d believed that my whole life, but seeing Woo Seonrim makes me arrogant. I think I might be able to pull him out of his madness.

No one else can do it. I can because it’s me.

But why should I? I’m the one who said I didn’t want to get involved with a crazy guy like him because I’ve got enough problems. My emotions tangled complexly.

Woo Seonrim looked at me quietly and said,

“Sometimes I think I shouldn’t have played the piano in front of others.”

“…Why?”

“If I hadn’t entered that competition, the teacher wouldn’t have known I existed. Then my mom wouldn’t have met him either. We would’ve lived normally. Everything wouldn’t have happened, and I would’ve graduated high school in Korea… But then.”

“…”

“What if I never met you again, Director? That wouldn’t be great.”

Woo Seonrim’s eyes were serious, deep in thought. His murmur stirred a strong sense of déjà vu in me.

If I hadn’t been born. If that were the case, none of this would’ve happened. I’d mulled over those words countless times alone. Honestly, it wasn’t entirely wrong.

“Hey, damn it. You didn’t choose to be born a genius… right? It’s not your fault you caught people’s attention.”

But I wanted to tell Woo Seonrim that his thinking was wrong. He tilted his head and looked at me quietly.

“Of course, damn it, it’s true you went through some shitty stuff because of it. But it helped me.”

“Helped?”

Is the alcohol kicking in again? My head felt foggy, and my lips moved on their own. I don’t know why I was spouting such embarrassing nonsense, but I couldn’t stop.

“I heard your performance at that competition, and, well, I was moved.”

“…”

“To think there could be such a beautiful sound. So I wanted to hear it again, keep hearing it… Even when I thought about just dying, that melody I heard back then… uh…”

My face grew hotter, and my vision blurred. I recalled a day at eighteen, a cold wind blowing on a rooftop. Right before stepping into the void, a certain someone’s sonata replayed in my mind. The melody came back vividly, comforting me with the fact that there was at least one achingly beautiful thing in this world.

That moment must’ve been a turning point for Woo Seonrim too, the first time he performed in front of others.

Only then did his attitude start to make sense, piece by piece. At first, I thought he was trying to provoke me. I felt frustrated and annoyed that, despite his incredible talent, he had no ambition to become famous through the piano.

“So that’s why you didn’t want to perform in front of others?”

My chest felt tight.

“Damn it, why didn’t you say…”

“I might get punished.”

“What?”

“But it doesn’t matter anymore. Because you want me to.”

“No, uh… want to call off the debut?”

I spoke cautiously, gauging his reaction, but Woo Seonrim burst out laughing. It was rare for him to laugh out loud with his mouth open. I think it was the first time I clearly saw his dimples. Here I was, speaking sincerely while holding my tender heart, and he’s laughing…

As soon as he stifled his laughter, Woo Seonrim reached out and pulled me into a hug. Thud. Our chests collided. I thought hitting his bony frame would hurt like crashing into a tin can, but he was human after all. His embrace felt subtly soft and even warm.

“What, what’s this about?”

My body twisted awkwardly in the unfamiliar situation. Hugging between adults felt like such a strange act. A pointless action that restricts each other’s movements with no practical purpose. How did humans start doing things like hugging? Something so ticklish and poignant.

“You’re such an interesting person, Director.”

Being held, Woo Seonrim’s voice resonated even more deeply.

“Are you teasing me?”

“You’re so kind, it worries me.”

“First time in my life I’ve been called kind.”

“Let’s sleep again.”

“I wasn’t done talking…”

“It’s okay. I know what you mean.”

Woo Seonrim rubbed the back of my head with his palm. It was the first time someone had patted my head since my mom died, so it took me a moment to process the situation.

“Why are you being so sappy?”

“I love you.”

“…”

“We’re kind of hilarious, aren’t we?”

I don’t know why he keeps giggling like that.

“You’re disrespectfully patting an elder’s head.”

“It’s soft. This texture must be the result of careful maintenance too.”

“Of course. I don’t neglect what I was born with like you do. I always do my best to preserve value.”

“I’ll do the same from now on. Since you like my looks, Director.”

“…How long are we going to stay like this?”

“Until you fall back asleep.”

“It’s too stuffy to sleep.”

“That’s a prejudice. Try not thinking it’s stuffy.”

“That’s ridiculous…”

Arguing was only going to hurt me. Woo Seonrim had no intention of letting go. I sighed, gave up, and relaxed my body. I slightly pulled my hips back to avoid our crotches touching.

The tension in my neck softened, and my head tilted naturally. Thud. I rested my forehead on Woo Seonrim’s chest and closed my eyes. Despite complaining about feeling stifled, I fell asleep quickly.