LDR Ch 18

Harrison guided Leo’s hand directly to his groin. It wasn’t a situation where Leo could stall for time either. Leo hesitated for a moment but, feeling the resumed vibration, finally picked up his phone.

[Are you still asleep? I’m right now,]

“Bring indoor slippers.”

[Huh?]

The abrupt words left the voice on the other end of the phone bewildered, but Leo didn’t need to feign irritation as he immediately snapped.

“You don’t have any, so go get some indoor slippers. Talk to the front desk.”

[Why don’t you just call the front desk yourself,]

“Then are you saying you’ll walk in wearing shoes from outside?”

[Huh? Uh, no?]

“You’re planning to come in wearing dirty shoes you wore outside? Don’t even think about stepping inside until you get the slippers.”

[Okay. I’ll, I’ll do that.]

Knowing Leo’s sensitivity to hygiene, Lorenzo complied readily, and Leo hung up the phone. As he bought a moment to catch his breath, Harrison, who was already picking up his clothes and heading to the bathroom, remarked in admiration.

“That comes in handy at times like this.”

When Leo glared at the nonchalant tone, Harrison quickly left the room. Leo, meanwhile, hurriedly tied his robe and took deep breaths to maintain his composure. He felt a bit guilty for forgetting the promise with Lorenzo, but he couldn’t understand why spending time with his boyfriend was so exhausting.

Opening the door for Lorenzo, who was waiting at the entrance carefully holding the indoor slippers, Lorenzo changed into them cautiously and stepped inside. While Leo ordered tea through room service and served it to Lorenzo, Harrison emerged from the bathroom after his shower.

“Did you guys fight? The vibe between you two is…”

Looking back and forth between Leo, who only greeted him, and Harrison, who didn’t even offer a greeting, Lorenzo’s voice prompted a short response from Leo.

“It’s because of a hangover.”

In truth, it was due to the abruptly interrupted desire, but since Leo was in his right mind, he brushed it off with an excuse. Lorenzo, not sensing anything odd, continued.

“Oh, you guys partied too, huh? I woke up today feeling like my head was splitting. Everyone was toasting to celebrate, so I just kept drinking.”

Noticing Lorenzo’s voice trembling more and more, Leo and Harrison exchanged glances.

“They told me to go somewhere today too, but I said I couldn’t. I didn’t mention I was meeting you guys.”

As Lorenzo’s voice grew increasingly teary, Harrison calmly gestured toward Lorenzo’s empty cup while holding the teapot.

“Tea?”

Lorenzo’s voice was now quivering noticeably.

“Yeah. But do you guys drink tea even in the morning? Not coffee?”

Unfazed, Harrison naturally poured the tea and asked Leo.

“Did you order lunch to be brought up?”

“No. Are we eating in?”

“Too lazy to go out. Where’s the menu?”

“Over there.”

Ignoring Lorenzo, who was subtly wiping tears while turning away, Leo gestured to one side, and Harrison picked up the menu.

“Should we get the breakfast menu? I just woke up, so something heavy doesn’t sound great. Leo, you too?”

“It’s lunchtime now, so that might not work…”

“Yeah, I think the breakfast menu sounds better too.”

“Maybe a salad would be best.”

Ignoring Lorenzo’s comment about it being lunchtime, Leo continued the conversation with Harrison, who came closer to show Leo the menu. Then, glancing at Lorenzo, who was still turned away, Harrison let out a wry chuckle and shook his head.

“The season’s over, so why bother with that.”

At Leo’s words, Harrison shrugged carelessly with a half-hearted attitude and walked off to place the order.

“Tea?”

Seeing the already empty cup as Lorenzo drank with his head lowered to hide his face, Leo asked, and Lorenzo, with a tearful expression, nodded.

“Do you like him?”

As Leo poured more tea, Harrison, who had returned quickly, asked, causing Leo to scowl.

“What kind of nonsense is that, seriously.”

“As if the young master is pouring tea himself.”

It was as if someone might think Leo couldn’t do anything on his own.

“Renzo, drink it with gratitude.”

At those words directed at Lorenzo, he actually held the cup with both hands and gave Leo a small bow. Even in that state, he still had the spirit to tease Leo.

“Being like this reminds me of F2 days.”

Leo and Harrison, adeptly interpreting Lorenzo’s tear-muddled words, simply nodded. They all knew Lorenzo’s current emotional state wasn’t just from being moved. With his personality, dealing with the muddy battles must have taken a toll, something even the reporters at the press conference knew.

Although they got properly close during F2, Harrison, whom Lorenzo had known even before, stopped talking to him entirely, while his teammate Elias fell out due to team politics, and even up to the final race, his title rivalry with Alfred left him drained.

Harrison never cared much about relationships, but Lorenzo was affectionate and, until last year, naively believed he could separate the track from off-track life. Having completely abandoned that belief, it must have been tough.

“It was fun back then.”

At that voice, Leo couldn’t hide his pity as he looked at Lorenzo. For him to call those times fun showed how tough this season must have been. Of course, for Leo and Harrison, it might have been fun, but for Lorenzo, it was clearly different.

“You thought that was fun?”

Back then, Lorenzo was already in his second year of F2, and the previous year, he hadn’t made a significant mark, so it was essentially a make-or-break chance for F1. But Harrison came in and steadily chipped away at Lorenzo’s points. Although Lorenzo ultimately won the championship title, he had to fight Harrison until the end, missing the chance to dominate.

Plus, winning the F2 championship meant he could no longer race in F2 the following year. So, Lorenzo couldn’t race in F2 anymore, yet he wasn’t sure if he’d shown enough to secure a clear path forward, leaving him in an ambiguous position. Back then, he was so anxious. Of course, that anxiety was nothing compared to the pressure of F1.

“He was always by my side.”

Pointing at Harrison, Lorenzo looked at him with reddened eyes.

“He was there too.”

This time, Harrison pointed at Leo, and Lorenzo’s gaze shifted to him.

“But it was fun back then.”

Back then. It was clear it wasn’t fun now. Thinking about it, that made sense. Although Lorenzo was five years older than them, back then and even now, that didn’t matter—they were just friends. Even if they crashed on the track, they’d still have dinner together.

Plus, back in the F2 grid, Harrison and Leo, barely 17 and just over the minimum age, were the youngest. Not old enough to drink, they stayed at the hotel while other drivers went partying. Lorenzo didn’t go to parties much either, saying his girlfriend didn’t like it, so naturally, the three of them spent a lot of time together.

“Leo, remember? Harry met Tina back then.”

Lorenzo spoke as if recalling a childhood memory, but Leo, suddenly reminded of his boyfriend’s past relationship, felt his mood plummet, while Harrison looked away.

“Seriously, even when he crashed into me, I wasn’t that mad, but back then—honestly, even now, it’s ridiculous to think about.”

True to his words, Lorenzo was someone who separated the track from off-track life, and even if a race went poorly, he didn’t take it out on people. But there was one time, after a race, when he grabbed Harrison by the collar and was hauled off by the stewards—right after he found out about Harrison’s relationship with his younger sister.

Lorenzo was furious, asking how he could touch his sister, and while Leo thought Harrison might deserve a punch, he instinctively stepped in when it happened. Looking back, maybe Harrison deserved at least one hit.

“Honestly, I know how this world works, but I knew he wasn’t the type to get involved in that stuff. He wasn’t even old enough to go to parties. But still, there’s an unwritten rule about not touching a friend’s family, right? That’s an unwritten rule!”

He’d said it was fun back then, but even after more than nine years, thinking about it still made him angry. Leo just let Harrison take the heat.

“I said the same thing back then, so what did you say to me?”

Just then, the bell rang like a savior, and Harrison immediately bolted to the door.

“That jerk told me to date Jude back then—you remember that too, right?”

Leo nodded while sipping his tea. Anyone around back then would remember it. Even a year ago, Leo ran into a steward from that time at the track, and they brought it up, saying they’d never seen a reaction like that. It wasn’t a memory easily forgotten.

“But I got dumped, didn’t I?”

Unable to endure Lorenzo’s glaring and Leo’s cold silence as the food arrived, Harrison spoke, and Lorenzo immediately replied.

“If you hadn’t, you think I’d still be looking at you?”

“Got dumped pretty brutally too.”

At that, Leo looked at Harrison. He knew Harrison caused a lot of trouble and that they broke up after a few months, but he didn’t know the details and never asked because he didn’t want to know.

“Leo, you didn’t know?”

“Why would I need to know?”

Surprised that Leo didn’t know, Lorenzo looked back and forth between Harrison and Leo.

“He got dumped because she thought he was cheating with you.”

“Me?”

The unexpected words prompted an instinctive question from Leo.

“Tina went to his hotel, and there was golden hair there. She grilled him, and he kept saying it was your hair and there was no other woman. But who’s going to believe that when there’s hair in a hotel room?”

“That was really my hair?”

At Leo’s skeptical tone, Harrison immediately answered, sounding wronged.

“Of course.”

It better have been. Leo didn’t understand why Harrison sounded so indignant about something that should be obvious.

“So Tina kept misunderstanding?”

It wasn’t Leo’s fault, but he still felt bad for causing his boyfriend to be wrongly accused of cheating. They say it makes it hard to trust the next person you date. Of course, he wasn’t sorry for Harrison at all. He should’ve handled it better. It was his own fault for not earning enough trust.

“No, she knew from the start it wasn’t true, but she just wanted to break up. I went against her advice not to date drivers because they’re too busy and selfish, but when we broke up because I was too busy and selfish, she didn’t want to admit she was wrong. She was in her rebellious phase.”

Leo nodded with deep empathy. He himself lacked the sense to learn and was still dating despite being told not to date drivers.

“But thanks to that, Tina wised up and hasn’t looked at drivers since. It’s for the best. She met an honest guy. If she’d met a cunning one, she’d have been dragged around for years.”

As Leo naturally looked at Harrison, Harrison naturally averted his gaze. Back then, even if it was his girlfriend, he acted like he had no time for anything off the track, but now he was in a long-term relationship with Leo. To be fair, Leo, who put up with it all, was part of the problem too.

“But aside from that, it was fun.”

Suddenly, Lorenzo’s voice dropped sharply.

“I’m going to retire.”

At the abrupt words, Leo instinctively looked at Harrison. His face was calm, looking at Lorenzo, as if he already knew, without a hint of surprise.

“I told the team after the party yesterday. They told me to talk again when I’m calmer, but I said I’m retiring today too, and they got mad. I got a call from headquarters too. They’re still calling.”

It was natural for Lorenzo’s team to find the decision incomprehensible. There were a few drivers who retired right after winning a championship, but Lorenzo’s case was different.

For Ferrari, Lorenzo’s team, to win a championship after so long was miraculous, and an Italian champion from an Italian team was beyond miraculous—it was indescribable. Lorenzo was already Italy’s hero, and who knows, maybe even a movie would come out. A documentary was a given.

In F1, a driver’s decision was never just their own, but in Lorenzo’s case, the scope was far broader. It was almost a national controversy.

“Do you really want to do that?”

But from Leo’s perspective, it was different. To Leo, Lorenzo was more a friend than a driver. If this were the start of his career, Leo might have urged him to keep going, but Lorenzo had already endured nine years. Most of that time, he wasn’t even fighting for championships but struggling to secure a driver’s seat. If, after all that, he now wanted to retire while still loving the sport, it couldn’t be seen as impulsive.

“Yeah.”

The quiet but firm answer prompted Leo to simply nod.

“They’ll probably contact Harry too. Are you letting him go?”

If Lorenzo left, a seat would open, and they’d need to find a driver to fill it. As Lorenzo said, it could be Harrison. Most top teams had their own champions, and among those who’d won a title, Harrison was the only one not with his original team. In other words, he could be seen as the least loyal driver, easy to poach.

“I still have a contract.”

Knowing all this, Leo’s principled response made Lorenzo shrug. Everyone in this world knew a contract was just paper. Plus, while Lorenzo didn’t know the details, Harrison’s multi-year contract was, in practice, subject to his own will for renewal.

“But to begin with, is it okay?”

Leo glanced at Harrison. It was natural for a team’s atmosphere to vary by director, but Lorenzo’s team had a hierarchical culture. Harrison was the type to argue back if he disagreed and sometimes outright ignored strategies.

He’d spent five years with a team that, even in his first year, sent him to another team to adjust, and even in his junior days, he left his previous team due to friction with the director.

“Harry doesn’t badmouth the team publicly, at least.”

True, Harrison didn’t criticize the team in the media, but internally, he gave all sorts of feedback, so he’d surely fight constantly. At McLaren, where he grew up, they knew how to handle him, and he was softer because they cleaned up his messes when he was young, but as soon as the leadership changed, he fought and left. Even at ABW, which catered to drivers, he occasionally clashed.

“Harry, what do you think?”

At the question directed at Harrison, he looked at Lorenzo calmly.

“Why?”

His face was as composed and indifferent as before.

“Why? They’re not going to bring in an inexperienced driver, and among the championship-winning drivers with skill, they’re not going to get Bob from Alpina. He’ll stay there until he retires. Or have you heard something? Bob’s got nowhere to go, but he might move if there’s a good spot. Alpi’s not retiring—he’ll die there. Oh, Steve, but Steve said he wants to retire too.”

“Why are you quitting?”

Ignoring Lorenzo’s tangent, Harrison’s question made Lorenzo momentarily flustered as he looked at him.

“Not because I want to do something else, but…”

“Then?”

“Harry.”

Despite Leo’s attempt to stop him, Harrison pressed on, and the confusion on Lorenzo’s face gradually faded.

“I just want to stop now.”

His voice wasn’t loud, but there was no room for hesitation.

“I hate ruining a race and wasting the team’s efforts or disappointing people, but honestly, the hardest part is when I win. Because you never know how the next race will go. I’m tired of my mood swinging from the highest high to the lowest low every week.”

Even as he said this, Lorenzo’s expression looked relieved.

“I started karting at eight, so I’ve been chasing F1 for 23 years. I’ve achieved everything I wanted here. Now it’s time to do something else. I haven’t thought about what I want to do, but for now, I want to spend time with my family, travel leisurely, and then maybe try something new.”

In contrast, Leo stared at Harrison, who showed no expression. A voice flowed from between his composed lips.

“They all say we’re living in a dream.”

There was no hint of doubt or blame in his tone.