Chapter 40 – Give Them Another Rainy Night

225

He Fei saw Xiang Lei on campus every day.

They ran into each other in the classroom, at the entrance of the cafeteria, in the dormitory—they seemed to cross paths in every corner of the campus. He Fei watched as Xiang Lei wandered alone, just like Xiao Er had in the past. Most of the time, Xiang Lei pretended not to see He Fei. Occasionally, their eyes would meet, but Xiang Lei would immediately look away.

In those fleeting glances, He Fei couldn’t find any message.

He Fei truly didn’t know what was going on in his mind. If He Fei were to walk up to him now and tell him to stop this, he didn’t know whether Xiang Lei would turn and leave without a word or coldly throw out an unyielding rejection. He Fei couldn’t face either of those possibilities!

Of course, there was another possibility—that he was just sulking. Maybe all He Fei needed to do was put on a pitiful face and say some heartfelt words, and everything could be mended.

But that possibility seemed a little too extravagant for He Fei.

He Fei had never been like this before. He had always been good at accepting reality, but now, he felt like he was completely ruined, irreversibly transformed into a different version of himself—one that bore almost no resemblance to the Xu Menghu of three years ago.

No clue. A week passed in the blink of an eye, and suddenly, it was the May Day holiday.

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226

On the evening before the May Day holiday, He Fei played basketball at the outdoor court behind the main building and happened to run into Shi Zhuo. Within a few words, they ended up talking about drinking, so they headed together to the side street outside the east gate of the school.

“Should we call Linlin and Wenwen?” Shi Zhuo asked.

“We’re going to drink—what’s the point of bringing people who don’t drink?” He Fei replied.

“Who said Zhang Wenwen doesn’t drink?” Shi Zhuo laughed.

“Forget it. Let’s just sit and have a few drinks with the guys.”

“Alright, then I’ll call Xiang Lei.” Shi Zhuo took out his phone to dial.

“No! Just the two of us! Xiang Lei… he went to Peking University to see his hometown friend.” He Fei stopped him.

“No way. I just saw him earlier, and when I mentioned grabbing drinks later, he said he was going back to do laundry…”

Shi Zhuo seemed to sense something was off and didn’t press further.

The two of them chatted idly as they walked to the side street and sat down in a small restaurant. Shi Zhuo, as usual, ordered baijiu, then asked He Fei what he wanted. After some thought, He Fei decided to go with baijiu too. Suddenly, He Fei thought—maybe getting drunk wouldn’t be so bad. Drunk and reckless, he could go find Xiang Lei and, damn it, finally make things clear!

Halfway through their drinks, Shi Zhuo cautiously asked, “You two… is something wrong?”

He Fei looked at Shi Zhuo, frozen for a long moment, unsure where to begin.

Stumbling through the whole story, He Fei glanced at Shi Zhuo, who was watching him with a faint smile.

“I really don’t get it—what’s the big deal? How is this so serious?” He Fei said, growing increasingly agitated. He tilted his head back and took a big swig. From the back of his tongue to his gut, it burned like a trail of fire.

“If you say it’s not a big problem, then it’s actually not that small either,” Shi Zhuo said.

“I know you’re some kind of genius—there’s nothing you don’t understand—so stop fucking beating around the bush!”

“Xiang Lei—when you first meet him, you think he’s full of pride. But after spending more time with him, once he starts opening up to you, you realize that’s not the case at all. Deep down, he’s extremely self-deprecating! He once told me he’s painfully aware of this trait, so he often confides in people he trusts, hoping that their validation will help him build confidence. Of course, not everything he shares is necessarily right, but he’s also easily persuaded. Haven’t you noticed? He’s not someone with strong convictions.”

He Fei shook his head blankly.

Shi Zhuo smiled and continued, “If you can convince him, it won’t necessarily lead to a bad outcome. So when he seriously expresses something to you, you either agree with him or persuade him—that’s really important to him. Don’t think that staying silent or giving half-hearted responses counts as humoring him. For him, I’m sure that not agreeing is the same as outright rejection, and not trying to persuade him is the same as not caring. For example, when he talks to you about his family’s situation, he can easily tell from your reaction that you don’t really understand how he feels. Of course, resonance can’t be forced, but it’s precisely because he’s certain of this that he feels there’s no hope between you two. He hates anything that isn’t pure.”

“Actually, that day, when I saw him hesitate to speak, if I had just walked over and patted his shoulder or said something like, ‘It’s all in the past, stop overthinking it,’ maybe things wouldn’t have escalated,” He Fei sighed.

“Even if it hadn’t happened that day, it would’ve happened eventually,” Shi Zhuo said firmly.

He Fei nodded. “Fuck! You’re right!”

“Honestly, since we didn’t grow up in the countryside, maybe we can’t truly understand the way people like Xiang Lei, who come from rural backgrounds, think. At best, out of the innate kindness in human nature, we might feel sympathy when we see them in difficult situations—but only for the few individuals we happen to notice within that vast group, and only for a small part of their hardships. And even then, it’s just a fleeting reaction. If we were faced with more people’s suffering more often or for longer, we’d probably get tired of it.”

He Fei frowned, deep in thought.

“This guy is actually someone with a complicated mind but simple actions. Saying you two don’t have a big problem is because the big issue in him is actually something you can easily fix,” Shi Zhuo said with a smile.

“Really?” He Fei looked at Shi Zhuo, hoping for final confirmation.

“Why don’t you go try and see for yourself?” Shi Zhuo continued to smile. “But I think the Nanjing incident wasn’t as insignificant to him as you assumed. It’s just that compared to that, your roommate situation might’ve been a better outlet for his emotions. If you take a closer look at the things he’s written with real feeling, you’ll see how easily his emotions can go from calm to chaotic! Ha!”

He Fei thought for a moment. “You know what? After I came back from Nanjing and confessed to him, he asked me if being with him was just out of habit…”

Shi Zhuo laughed even harder. “Then do you think it’s possible for me to develop that kind of habit? At the very least, I can confidently tell anyone right now that I’m not someone who forms habits so easily. So the fact that he didn’t say anything about that incident doesn’t mean he didn’t care. He probably felt like he was wronging you and didn’t dare to vent his own emotions.”

He Fei raised his glass and clinked it against Shi Zhuo’s, saying with complete seriousness, “Damn it! How the hell did someone like you end up in this shithole of a school?”

“Don’t bring that up! Not getting into Peking University is a scar I’ll never get over in this lifetime. And it’s been years! But even now, whenever someone brings up the college entrance exams, it still fucking stings!” Shi Zhuo laughed.

The two of them quickly finished a bottle of baijiu. When Shi Zhuo suggested ordering another, He Fei hurriedly stopped him. This level of tipsiness was just right—any more and he’d be wasted.

He Fei still had plans. He needed to stay sober enough.

“Old Shi, call and ask Xiang Lei what he’s doing right now. He probably won’t answer if I call,” He Fei said.

Shi Zhuo smirked, took out his phone, and dialed Xiang Lei’s number.

“He just finished doing laundry and is now at the print shop by the east gate handling some stuff!”

Then Shi Zhuo gave a sly smile and said he was going to wait for Yang Lin at the south gate of the school.

So the two of them left the restaurant and parted ways.

He Fei exhaled a long breath of alcohol, steadied himself, and strode toward the east gate of the school.

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227

Xiang Lei was waiting in line at the print shop. He Fei spotted his profile from a distance.

Unable to come up with the best way to approach him, He Fei didn’t go any closer. Instead, he slipped into the clinic across from the print shop, leaned against a tree by the entrance, and lit a cigarette.

By the time he finished the cigarette, Xiang Lei walked out of the print shop with a stack of A4 paper, turned left, and headed toward the freshman dorms. Feeling impulsive, He Fei still didn’t approach him but instead followed from afar.

Xiang Lei posted one of the A4 sheets on the bulletin board in the freshman community, then turned toward the auditorium. He Fei paused briefly in front of the board and saw that it was a sublease notice.

One-bedroom apartment near campus, subletting at original price. Fully furnished with appliances. All personal household items included for free. Available for viewing anytime during the May Day holiday.

He Fei felt a sharp pang in his chest. Without thinking, he reached out, tore off the notice, crumpled it into a ball, and tossed it into the trash.

There were six bulletin boards on campus where ads could be posted. Xiang Lei put up his sublease notice on every single one. He Fei followed behind, always the first—and last—person to see those notices.

Xiang Lei left campus through the south gate and went to a supermarket. From a distance, He Fei saw him buy two bags of food—instant noodles, frozen dumplings, and a large bottle of Pepsi. He Fei figured he must’ve also bought oatmeal bread, strawberry jam, condensed milk, and fruity yogurt.

After leaving the supermarket, Xiang Lei went to an appliance repair shop near the neighborhood market. When he came out, he was carrying two grocery bags in one hand and the multi-functional stereo in the other. He Fei thought—if he walked all the way home like that, his arms would definitely ache. He’d experienced that himself last year when they were setting up the little apartment together.

Standing in front of the access control door of Unit 3, Xiang Lei struggled to fish his keys out of his shoulder bag. He Fei, standing across the street, could almost hear the jingling of the keychain, but Xiang Lei couldn’t seem to find them.

Frustrated, he dumped the entire contents of his bag onto the ground—of course, the keys fell out too. Only then did he realize he still needed to put down the grocery bags and the stereo. He did so, then bent down to gather the scattered items, unlocked the door, wedged his foot in the gap, picked up the groceries and stereo again, nudged the door open with his foot, and stumbled inside.

He had never looked so clumsy before.

He Fei couldn’t help but laugh, though his nose inexplicably stung.

Standing downstairs, He Fei looked up at the sixth-floor balcony. The light turned on briefly, then off again. He Fei thought Xiang Lei might come back downstairs, so he decided to wait until he left before quietly going up himself.

When Xiang Lei returned home, He Fei thought, he might be able to surprise him—maybe even scare him a little—or, better yet, make him happy.

But He Fei waited for a long time, and Xiang Lei never came back down.

The wind picked up, and it looked like rain was coming. Growing impatient, He Fei carefully climbed the stairs.

Standing outside the door, He Fei heard the melody of With or Without You drifting through the crack.

He Fei stood there for a long time. The song played on repeat.

What was he doing? Was he savoring every last minute, clinging to memories of this home? Did he not know that He Fei was just on the other side of the wall? In the dark room, was he listening on loop to this song—one that He Fei had once declared was the most timeless masterpiece by the greatest band in the world—because it was the only way he could think of someone? Was he…

He Fei slumped onto the steps, resting his head weakly against the wall beside the door, and closed his eyes.

If even when sharing a bed with the person you love deeply, you still feel lonely, then perhaps this person you love so much is truly dispensable.

He Fei’s mind flashed to Xiang Lei’s tear-streaked face the night Liu Chong left. He remembered the surge of emotion he had felt upon realizing that Xiang Lei needed him. But in reality, what right did he have to be needed by Xiang Lei?

Were those tears just a release of the loneliness in his heart?

He would rather miss someone in loneliness than possess them in loneliness.

He Fei heard him humming along to the final, raw crescendo of the song. He imagined the depth of emotion on that face of his—unseen by anyone at this moment.

He Fei didn’t know what he was still waiting for.

Then, it began to rain—a downpour.

Was this rain lending He Fei an excuse to barge in and stay?

Damn it, Laozi doesn’t need such an unnecessary excuse!

Stirred by this thought, He Fei refused to hesitate even a second longer. He immediately pulled something from his pocket, placed it by the door, rushed downstairs, and charged into the rain.

For late April, the rain was shockingly icy.

A full sprint to the intersection where he could hail a taxi would take about five minutes. From stepping out of the cab to scrambling home, at least three more. After eight minutes in this rain, the downpour would have nothing to do with this night anymore.

Better to overestimate. He Fei stayed in the rain for a full ten minutes.

By the end, even his socks and underwear were soaked through. Standing frozen in place, his entire body stiff, the slightest movement sent uncontrollable shivers through him. The vendors huddled under their awnings stared at He Fei in bewilderment. He Fei himself couldn’t help but laugh.

Time’s up. Trembling violently, He Fei climbed back up to the sixth floor. Thinking it over, even he felt like a bit of an idiot.

Picking up his belongings from the doorway, He Fei—both physically and mentally unable to endure any longer—finally fumbled open the door.

The familiar music swelled abruptly. A familiar scent washed over him. A familiar warmth instantly enveloped his entire body.

He Fei’s lips parted several times, but in the end, he didn’t call out Xiang Lei’s name. Yet Xiang Lei had clearly heard the door open. Unable to see the entrance from where he was, he got out of bed and slowly walked over.

“Who is it?” he asked cautiously toward the hallway, not turning on the light.

“Me,” He Fei answered quietly.

Xiang Lei stopped in his tracks and fell silent for a long moment.

“Why are you here?”

He didn’t ask, “Why did you come back?” He asked, “Why are you here?”

“If this drags on any longer, I’m going to lose my damn mind…” He Fei’s voice trembled from the cold.

Perhaps moved by that tremor in his voice, Xiang Lei finally shuffled forward.

He had probably intended to stop half a meter away and continue the conversation from there. But He Fei took a sudden step forward, seized his arm, yanked him close, and buried his chin in Xiang Lei’s shoulder before pressing his entire body against him. Xiang Lei inhaled sharply, as if shivering, and instinctively resisted for a moment—but by then, He Fei’s arms were already locked around his neck, clinging tightly to his back.

Xiang Lei only gave him half a minute before pulling away.

“Why are you so drenched? Go take a shower and change,” Xiang Lei said as he moved past He Fei to close the door, then turned on the bathroom light.

“Let’s shower together,” He Fei ventured nervously.

Xiang Lei paused before replying, “No need. I already showered.”

“Can we stop this? Please? I’m really losing it,” He Fei pleaded.

“You… didn’t just come here to get out of the rain?” Xiang Lei asked, flustered.

“No!” He Fei couldn’t help but raise his voice before forcing it back down. “Xiang Lei, can you honestly say you don’t like me anymore? That you don’t even think about me when I’m not around? If you can say that right now, I’ll leave.”

“Didn’t we agree the other day? You tacitly accepted it.”

“I fucking did not!” He Fei roared.

“Damn you! Why don’t you just admit you changed your mind?” Xiang Lei shot back.

Hearing this, He Fei suddenly laughed.

“I never accepted it,” He Fei said.

“Bullshit!”

Xiang Lei turned to go back to the bedroom but was once again yanked back by He Fei. In the glow of the bathroom light, He Fei noticed the stubble along his jaw—nearly as long as the hair on his head now. Without another word, He Fei leaned in and kissed him.

Xiang Lei shoved He Fei hard. He Fei stumbled half a step back, slamming into the door with a dull thud. A flurry of emotions flickered across Xiang Lei’s face—apology, concern, panic—but when he saw He Fei grinning smugly, that panic swiftly turned to indignation. Before that indignation could fully settle, as if desperate to erase the moment, he surged forward and pressed into that wild, desperate kiss.

He Fei barely had time to react.

Then, accidentally brushing against the unmistakable evidence of He Fei’s arousal, Xiang Lei abruptly broke away. “Go take your shower,” he said hoarsely.

“Let’s shower together.” He Fei gripped his arm.

“Shower by yourself.” Xiang Lei tried to turn away.

“Together.” He Fei dragged him back.

“Do you just enjoy manhandling people?” Xiang Lei said, exasperated.

He Fei forcibly pushed Xiang Lei into the bathroom, stripped off his shirt and shorts, turned on the shower, and only then began peeling off his own soaked clothes.

From then on, showering became merely a backdrop.

And the shower stall became far more than just a shower stall.

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228

Back in the bedroom, He Fei climbed straight into bed, sprawling face-down in a starfish pose. After a few deep breaths, he called out to Xiang Lei, “Your turn! I’m fucking ready to try it too.”

Xiang Lei burst out laughing but didn’t move.

After waiting a while with no response, He Fei sat up and pointed at him. “Rare opportunity—I’ve mentally prepared myself tonight. One-time offer. Remember, you’re the one who chose to pass it up!”

Xiang Lei ignored him, calmly swapping out a CD.

Only then did He Fei notice that the tape deck on the stereo had lost its cover, its innards tangled with exposed wires. Probably only the CD player still worked.

He Fei sneezed several times in succession. He insisted that his colds always cleared up on their own, but Xiang Lei stubbornly crushed up some pills, mixed them with water, and pinched He Fei’s nose to force them down. Unable to win the argument, He Fei sat naked on the edge of the bed, tilting his head back and opening his mouth, demanding that Xiang Lei feed him the medicine mouth-to-mouth. Xiang Lei’s stubble prickled He Fei’s nose, prompting He Fei to scold him for still not shaving regularly.

“No one reminds me. I always forget,” Xiang Lei said with a laugh.

“Damn! I have spoiled you.”

He Fei made Xiang Lei lie down, then straddled him and began shaving him again. The razor’s battery was nearly dead, occasionally snagging on Xiang Lei’s stubble and making him yelp in pain.

Halfway through, the razor gave out completely.

“Now what? You can’t just leave me like this,” Xiang Lei complained.

After a brief struggle, He Fei finally got dressed, went downstairs, and bought new batteries.

Normally, climbing six flights of stairs would have He Fei groaning in protest. But on this rainy night, he found that every step upward filled him with exhilaration.

He Fei couldn’t help but marvel inwardly: That Shi Zhuo—he really is something else.

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229

A perfectly good double bed, two-thirds of it going to waste. He Fei and Xiang Lei lay facing each other, bodies pressed close.

“Any plans for the holiday? How about I take you to Tianjin?” He Fei asked.

“No! I’m busy! Can’t leave!” Xiang Lei said bluntly.

“Why?”

“Probably gonna get a lot of calls, have a lot to deal with!”

Only then did He Fei remember Xiang Lei’s sublease notices. Playing dumb, he asked, “After just a week apart, you’ve already posted personal ads online?”

“Yep!” Xiang Lei said, laughing at his own answer.

“Good thing I came back in time. I’ll beat the shit out of anyone who shows up.”

“The hell you will!”

“Damn, you’ve got some attitude now.”

“I put up those sublease ads today. Gotta take them down tomorrow, or my phone’s gonna be a holiday hotline.”

“You’re really this ruthless? Couldn’t even wait to see if I’d come back?”

“Actually, the whole time I was putting up those ads today, I kept wondering—will He Fei suddenly come back? Call it one last chance for us. If the place wasn’t subleased by the time you returned, I swore to myself I’d never get mad at you again. I’d even listen to whatever you said, no matter what. But if the place got subleased before you came back… then forget it. Either we’d become strangers, or we’d pretend nothing ever happened. At most, we’d be good brothers.”

He Fei buried his face in the crook of Xiang Lei’s neck and murmured in a childishly aggrieved tone, “You still don’t trust me at all.”

“If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t have held onto this hope. The whole way, I kept imagining that you might come back tonight, that you might even have been following me all along. That’s why I didn’t dare look back—I was afraid of being disappointed. After I got home, I started imagining that you’d walk through the door any minute. I was so afraid I wouldn’t hear it open that I turned on music and lay in bed, too scared to turn on the lights or even open my eyes, just waiting for my body to finally tell me: He’s back.”

He Fei tightened his arms around Xiang Lei.

“Then it started raining—hard. Suddenly, I felt completely hopeless. I realized I’d been lying to myself the whole time, that you weren’t coming back, that everything was over…”

He Fei reached out to touch Xiang Lei’s face, and when his fingers brushed his eyes, he felt the sticky dampness there.

“Tonight, I drank with Shi Zhuo. I had him call you. From the moment you left the print shop, I was following you. I tore down all your sublease notices—no one saw,” He Fei confessed, unable to hold back.

“Stop messing with me! Are you about to say we’re psychically connected again? I can’t stand that phrase—it’s disgustingly cheesy!”

“I swear! Go ask Shi Zhuo if you don’t believe me.”

“Then why were you soaked? Where else did you go before coming back?”

“Nowhere. I sat outside the door until it started raining. Then I suddenly lost it and went out to stand in the rain. Only came back when I couldn’t take the cold anymore.”

“If you wanted sympathy, you didn’t have to go that far. That’s just ridiculous!” Xiang Lei laughed.

“Fucking ridiculous! But what makes me feel even dumber is that I don’t know how to make you believe me.”

“Believe what?”

“That I’m actually… gay too.”

“At most, you’re bisexual. You don’t qualify as fully gay.” Xiang Lei burst out laughing.

“Bullshit! Look at me now—mind and body, I check all the boxes. If you say it’s just habit, even Shi Zhuo said he could never get used to this. It depends on the person, got it? Sure, I’ve had a lot of girlfriends before, but not a single one ever really mattered to me. Now I think that was the real habit.” He Fei spoke with complete seriousness.

“What about Zhang Wenwen? Didn’t she matter to you?”

“How do I put it? At first, I really liked her. But later, being with her just became routine. I cared, yeah—but only because I couldn’t bear to hurt her. It’s nothing like how I feel about you now. Right now, I feel like I’ve stopped being myself just to make you happy—like a total idiot.”

“Didn’t notice.” Xiang Lei smirked. “You told me to just go die, then ran off with your whole damn suitcase. Not exactly idiot behavior.”

“I didn’t even think before doing that—how is that not idiotic? Whatever. Drinking with Shi Zhuo tonight knocked some sense into me. There won’t be a next time.”

“Then tell me, how exactly did Shi Zhuo ‘knock sense’ into you?”

“I can’t really explain it. Just… internalized it, I guess. That day Liu Chong left, when the two of you were hugging and crying, I thought you were crying either because Liu Chong was leaving or because of those miners who died for nothing. Definitely not for yourself. But now I realize—it was mostly for you. Because you felt like no one understood you, not even the person closest to you.”

Xiang Lei didn’t reply, just pressed his cheek tightly against He Fei’s forehead.

“Leizi, can we just… be good to each other from now on? There’ll definitely be problems, big and small. When it’s something minor, let’s not take it too seriously. If it’s something big, we’ll talk it out first. If talking doesn’t work, we can fucking yell at each other. If even that doesn’t solve it, we can throw hands. Just… no more ultimatums, okay?”

“I might not be able to take you in a fight. I’ve never really fought anyone in my life.” Xiang Lei laughed.

“Damn! Then it’s simple—just back down early so we don’t have to fight. Besides, even if I hit you and you don’t fight back, you think I’d actually lose control?” He Fei remained dead serious.

“Who knows? Li Zeng beat his own brother half to death!”

“Who’s Li Zeng? Wait—who?”

“Never mind. Forget it.”

The moment Xiang Lei said “forget it,” He Fei remembered.

“Oh, that asshole! Did he hit you?”

“No. He got married last National Day. We haven’t talked in ages.”

“Good! Don’t! Next time we fight, it better not be because of him!” He Fei grumbled.

“We just made up, and you’re already thinking about our next fight?” Xiang Lei pretended to be angry.

“Up to you. Don’t piss me off, and there won’t be a fight.” He Fei grinned. “Who wants to fight anyway? I’ve been thinking—since we’re already like this, let’s just not get married at all. If our families ask, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Worst case, we’ll just tell them the truth. Seriously, Leizi—growing old together like this sounds pretty damn good to me. What do you think?”

Xiang Lei stayed silent for a long time.

He Fei nudged him. “Well? You still planning to get married? Or is your family gonna be a problem? Still too scared to come clean?”

“I don’t care either way,” Xiang Lei said slowly. “But by that age, you might feel differently than you do now. We’ll see.”

“You still don’t believe me!” He Fei complained, aggrieved.

“It’s not that. I’d rather not believe you. If I don’t believe you, why worry? I could make a hundred plans, a thousand promises, swear a million oaths—none of it would matter. Right?”

“Well, this is how I feel right now.” He Fei’s voice was firm.

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230

They slept until the next afternoon.

After waking up, they made a last-minute decision to go to Tianjin. It was Xiang Lei’s first time there, and he kept asking He Fei for confirmation: “This is really one of China’s four direct-controlled municipalities? Seriously?”

He Fei said that before 2001, Beijing had looked just like Tianjin does now—constant demolition and construction, construction sites everywhere, the whole city covered in dust and trash. Thankfully, with each day closer to 2008, things improved a little.

Disappointed by Tianjin, they only stayed in the city for the morning before heading to Tanggu. Xiang Lei was let down again—the seaside there was a trading port, nothing like the soft sandy beaches he’d imagined.

After a brief, lackluster visit to the beach resort the next day, they quickly grew bored.

At the train station ticket office, He Fei made another impulsive decision: divert to Beidaihe to see the ocean. Overjoyed, Xiang Lei praised the idea as a stroke of genius.

So they refunded their tickets to Beijing and bought same-day tickets for Beidaihe instead.

No seats. The train was packed, and the two of them were exhausted.

When someone got off midway, they snagged one seat. He Fei let Xiang Lei sit while he sprawled on the floor, resting his head on Xiang Lei’s lap. Both of them dozed off.

By the time they woke up, the train was racing aimlessly across vast fields. Asking the conductor, they realized they’d already passed Shanhaiguan! Forced into yet another last-minute decision, He Fei suggested, “Let’s just go to Huludao.” Xiang Lei nodded and said okay, then gave up his seat to He Fei and fell asleep again with his head on He Fei’s lap.

Huludao’s coastline, with far fewer artificial touches, suited Xiang Lei’s tastes much better.

After two days there, they couldn’t get return tickets. He Fei said, “Might as well go to Shenyang then.” Xiang Lei, as usual, had no objections. So they scrambled to the bus station, caught the last coach of the day, and headed straight for Shenyang.