Camellia 53

If there was a problem, it was that he didn’t think at all.

Even Sahyeol Amje himself couldn’t understand why he was putting up with all of the bride’s meddling.

“Here. Start with a chicken leg.”

Yeonhwa Hall, formal dining room.

Seolyeong tore apart a chicken boiled with ginseng, blew gently on the meat and placed it on the boy’s plate. Even the seating arrangement was peculiar. He had stuck close to the boy’s side like a leech.

“You have to eat plenty of meat from a young age to develop strong bones and muscles. Your aptitude for martial arts is weak, so for now, focus on physical training. Fix your frail body first.”

A body like dry, cracked earth. No flower could bloom in it, no fruit could grow. Nothing but a barren wasteland.

That had been Seolyeong’s assessment the moment he met the boy. Honestly, no martial sect would’ve accepted a child with a body like his. People of the martial world placed immense value on natural talent. Everyone always said you could tell a promising tree from the moment it sprouted.

The danjeon the child had formed was hopeless. Though he couldn’t sense Qi now with his own skills sealed, his memory of the child’s aptitude had been dismal. Even receiving the rare Beolmo Water Ritual probably wouldn’t have helped a body like that.

Tang Yujae silently stared at the steaming chicken leg. Seolyeong was carefully tearing the meat into bite-sized pieces. When he dipped one piece in salt and brought it to the boy’s lips, a sharp voice cut through.

“Gross.”

“…Hm?”

Tang Yujae, elbow on the table, propped his chin on his hand.

“Your hand. It’s gross.”

His eyes flicked downward, staring at Seolyeong’s pale hand. Smooth skin. Long, slender fingers. Following the boy’s gaze, Seolyeong looked at his own elegant hand, then asked with a puzzled frown.

“Gross? …Isn’t it pretty?”

“Hands like that are a dime a dozen.”

“Ha. That’s clearly not true, and this master knows it well.”

Seolyeong sounded a little offended. His hands, which had been arranging the chicken neatly, came to a halt.

“Take a closer look. Not a single knuckle sticks out, and the bones are a lovely pink hue. Very seductive. The nails are neatly trimmed, and there’s not a single hair. It’s a beautiful hand.”

He really was a strange one. Seolyeong took the boy’s hand and guided him to touch his fingers.

“What do you think? So long and smooth. Aren’t they truly beautiful?”

At least when it came to his appearance, Seolyeong had no shame. He could shamelessly boast in front of a child this young. That said everything.

When Seolyeong looked to him for agreement, the boy replied flatly,

“I don’t know.”

“You’ll understand eventually.”

“Do you want to be acknowledged as the most beautiful in the world?”

His voice dug deep. Youthful, but oddly matured.

“Because you think that will give you a reason to exist?”

Seolyeong felt a déjà vu. It hit him when he noticed that the boy’s graceful features didn’t quite match his age.

The boy laced his fingers into Seolyeong’s. His cold skin sapped warmth from the bride’s hand. Seolyeong instinctively tightened his grip, holding the small hand firmly, lips set in a hard line.

“Isn’t it exhausting, always having to explain and prove who you are?”

It was a chilling insight. It felt like the boy was dragging out every feeling buried deep inside him.

Seolyeong forced a response.

“…What would a kid know? Still, you’ve a smooth tongue. But if you speak so rudely to your master, you deserve to get your head smacked. Starting tomorrow, use proper honorifics. Understood?”

He tried to steer the conversation back toward eating, but the boy didn’t retreat.

“Even if you do all that, the martial world won’t acknowledge you.”

“……”

“They’ll always see you as a sworn enemy. You feel it, don’t you?”

Seolyeong had always been fighting back, against suspicion and rumors about him, the criticism surrounding the Murong clan. He had to prove he wasn’t a threat, that he could live among others. If not, the ones who had taken him in would suffer because of him.

So even if people called him arrogant or self-righteous, he tried to live like a righteous man. He believed he had lived the way he was taught. Not once had he abandoned his sense of justice. That, to him, was how he honored the former clan head who had protected him and his sister.

It was a debt he could never repay, one he carried on his shoulders always.

They stayed holding hands for a long time. Tang Yujae melted his own cold with Seolyeong’s yang Qi, and Seolyeong found faint comfort in simply having someone beside him.

“When a child acts like an adult, you have to be wary.”

Seolyeong finally spoke, his voice as spirited as ever.

“There must’ve been a reason you grew up too fast, so I won’t pry. But how about staying here tonight?”

“I have somewhere to return to.”

A weighty statement. Seolyeong immediately understood what the boy was emphasizing.

He himself had no place to return to. Now that he was the bride of the sect leader, going back to the North would only stir up trouble. And could he really think of Yeonhu as his home?

Seolyeong looked out through the round window.

The pitch-dark sky revealed the blowing snowstorm. It looked almost like white petals swirling in the wind. Harsh weather, but from the warm interior, it felt pleasant to watch.

He murmured softly,

“We’ll be spending much more time together from now on…”

Few people could express emotion with their eyes alone. Beasts, even less so.

“Someday, maybe I can become the place you return to.”

He was likely closer to a beast than a man, yet Seolyeong’s red eyes showed gentleness. Even without a forced smile, it was obvious what kind of man he was.

Tang Yujae released his hand and rose. Seolyeong stood up with him, but Si Pungjae, appeared right on cue at the sliding door, he stopped him from seeing the boy off.

“I’ll personally escort him to his destination.”

“He’s my disciple, so I…”

“The child’s lodging is far, and we’ll need to use gyeonggong.”

Si Pungjae was sick of having to refer to his lord as “the child.”

“Sogyoju-nim, you’re not feeling well. Please trust me and rest.”

“Then can you bring food as well?”

Seolyeong motioned to the meal, mostly untouched. He didn’t care if the finely minced meat got thrown out, it looked unappetizing anyway, but he wanted the rest of the food to go with the boy to fill his stomach.

Si Pungjae looked flustered as he declined.

“Surely the boy’s family has… prepared a table for him.”

It was a fair point. The boy had returned safely after going missing, of course there would be a banquet waiting. As the boy left with Si Pungjae, Seolyeong asked,

“Child, can you tell me your name? I just realized I still don’t know it.”

Si Pungjae was torn. Should he step in? Or let the Supreme One answer? But the boy remained silent, so he hesitantly tried to deflect.

“You must be tired. Perhaps you could continue this conversa…”

“Yujae.”

At that moment, Si Pungjae choked and coughed. The boy said only his name, then stepped across the threshold. Si Pungjae, eyes wide, quickly followed after him.

Left alone in the large dining room, Seolyeong glanced at the food the attendants had prepared with care and slowly picked up his chopsticks.

He took a bite, but just as he expected.

Seolyeong wasn’t very stimulated by human food. It all just tasted bland to him. Which was why he preferred the heavily spiced food of Sacheon.

He replayed the boy’s words in his head.

‘Even if you do all that, the martial world won’t acknowledge you.’

No matter how much he tried to live like a human. No matter how hard he tried to act human.

‘They’ll always see you as a sworn enemy. You feel it, don’t you?’

Seolyeong didn’t agree.

He accepted that most of the martial world viewed him as an enemy. But there were those who still cared for him. Only two, in fact.

He thought as he recalled Murong Bok and Murong Wi’s faces.

If I keep living, maybe more will come. If I endure long enough, two will become three, three will become four. Maybe I’ll eventually be part of something.

But the more he reasoned it out, the deeper the emptiness grew.

That much, he couldn’t deny.