SYU 24. As You Wish

The moment Wu Jinshan saw Song He, he turned around and walked away.

Earlier that evening, Chen Xiucheng had messaged him saying the professor’s lecture had run late and he might be a bit delayed. Wu Jinshan had already gotten a bad feeling.

Song He today was nothing like the person he’d met before. He wore a black button-up lined with gold thread along the collar and cuffs, the buttons undone all the way from the neck to the stomach. Every little movement made the faint outlines of his nipples visible.

His face looked pure and harmless, but the outfit was slutty enough to kill. He looked like some baby-faced bottom just starting out on the street, sweet and filthy all at once. One word popped into Wu Jinshan’s head on the spot. Vixen.

From a few steps away, Song He called out to him. When he saw Wu Jinshan ignoring him and turning to leave, he immediately chased after him. “Hey, wait up, don’t leave so fast.”

Wu Jinshan acted like he didn’t hear a thing. He just kept walking. His head was already buzzing with anger. Whether it was Chen Xiucheng bailing or Song He suddenly showing up, none of this was part of the plan. All of it made him furious.

Song He kept calling after him, and when that didn’t work, he picked up the pace and jogged ahead, cutting Wu Jinshan off. He quickly held out his phone and pointed at the photo on screen. “Top looking for bottom?”

Even with the nose blurred out in the picture, Wu Jinshan recognized it immediately. It was the one Chen Xiucheng had taken of him the other day in front of that circular sculpture.

“I know this definitely wasn’t posted by you,” Song He said, still catching his breath. He looked at Wu Jinshan’s stunned expression, clearly clueless, and everything clicked in an instant. “It was Xiucheng, wasn’t it? Only he would pull something like this.”

“If you knew it wasn’t me, why’d you still come?” Wu Jinshan stared down at the photo, then looked up, his eyes sharp as blades as they swept across Song He’s face.

He had imagined a lot of worst-case scenarios, but it had never crossed his mind that Chen Xiucheng would go behind his back matchmaking him with someone else. Right now, all he wanted was to storm back and drag the culprit out to explain everything.

Song He didn’t back off. He kept following him. Wu Jinshan walked fast with those long legs, so he had to jog just to keep up. “You like Xiucheng, don’t you? But he’s straight. Guys like us should know better than to fall for someone like him.”

The first time they met was when Chen Xiucheng had twisted his ankle. Song He had taken a liking to Wu Jinshan right away. Wu Jinshan never gave a shit about anyone, but when it came to Chen Xiucheng, he did. That said everything.

Only Chen Xiucheng was still completely clueless. And the problem was, he was straight. He didn’t like guys at all.

“Who I like is none of your fucking business.” Wu Jinshan’s eyes flared red in an instant. He had been hit right in the sore spot.

If Song He hadn’t been Chen Xiucheng’s friend, Wu Jinshan would have shut him up by force. He didn’t mind using violence in public. He didn’t care about how people looked at him, and he was far from polite. He was willing to spend time and energy arguing with Chen Xiucheng, but that patience did not extend to anyone else. Chen Xiucheng could punch him in the face twice, and he would take it, but that did not mean anyone else could step out of line.

Song He did not back off. He kept trying to persuade him. “Straight guys aren’t like us. Even if they treat you well for a while, it’s only because it feels new and exciting. Once they’ve had their fun, they’ll back out completely. They’ll go get girlfriends, get married, have kids, live normal lives, and then turn around and say all of it was just brotherly affection. They’ll tell you not to take it seriously.”

He spoke like someone who had been through it all before, who had tasted that bitterness and now wanted to pass on his hard-earned advice. “You’re not someone who hesitates or overthinks. You understand the consequences. When it all falls apart, the only one who ends up hurt will be you.”

It was around eight in the evening. Night had fallen, and the night market was at its most crowded. Wu Jinshan walked in a hurry, almost bumping into people several times, but he never once stopped.

Maybe Song He was right. Maybe Wu Jinshan did know that if something needed to be cut off, it should be cut off clean. But once his heart got involved, there was no stopping it.

“Come check out a gay bar. Past this street, there’s a new club and bar. You’ll meet more people like us, and you’ll stop obsessing over one straight guy.” Song He saw that his words still had no effect, so he boldly reached out and grabbed Wu Jinshan’s wrist. “I look pretty good too, and I’m definitely better in bed than some straight guy. Want to give it a try?”

“Don’t touch me.” Wu Jinshan snapped. He flung Song He’s hand away like he had lost it. His voice was so loud it stunned the entire street into silence.

Song He stumbled back a step and fell to the ground. People were still passing by, but he had chased Wu Jinshan so long that he was soaked in sweat and completely out of breath. And it had all been for nothing.

The tall man stood under the streetlight like a demon in the night, casting a terrifying, mountain-like shadow over him. Wu Jinshan could not even be bothered with polite words. His rejection was cold and merciless.

This version of Wu Jinshan was completely different from the one Song He had imagined. Only now did he realize that maybe he had never really known the man at all. Maybe it had all just been his own fantasy, dressed up by attraction.

A chill crept through him. He watched as Wu Jinshan walked away and did not dare to chase him again. Just before that figure disappeared at the far end of the street, he gathered his last bit of courage, opened his mouth, and called out in a trembling voice, “Just think about it, will you? I’m better for you than he is.”

Wu Jinshan didn’t look back. The streetlights stretched his shadow long across the pavement, then swallowed it whole. The road he had once walked with Chen Xiucheng had only taken a dozen minutes to reach campus. Now, walking it alone, it felt long and desolate.

He made a call to Chen Xiucheng on the way over, but all he could hear on the other end was game sound effects and the clattering of a mouse and keyboard. He could neither hear clearly nor explain himself, so he told Chen Xiucheng to come downstairs and wait for him outside the dormitory wall.

Chen Xiucheng asked, “What’s going on? Aren’t you out somewhere having fun?” Wu Jinshan hung up without answering.

Outside the undergraduate dormitory building at Qin Hai University, there was a hidden corner along the outer wall. A large tree had grown from inside the wall, its thick canopy spilling over the top and covering most of the bricks. Only a small shadowed patch remained exposed, with moss creeping up from the base.

The dormitory buildings had been renovated in recent years, including this wall, which was newly rebuilt. But the corner appeared worn and uneven, with makeshift footholds as if someone had climbed over it many times.

Wu Jinshan waited for three minutes without seeing anyone, then went upstairs himself. As it turned out, Chen Xiucheng had not taken the call seriously at all and was still gaming in Lin Lu’s dorm room.

Zhao Xi noticed how grim Wu Jinshan looked and sensed something was off. He tugged at Lin Lu’s sleeve and whispered, “What do we do? Wu Jinshan just dragged Brother Chen out of here.”

Lin Lu kept playing his game and did not even look up. With a sarcastic snort, he muttered, “Aren’t they from the same dorm? I thought you said they were close. What could possibly go wrong?”

It was around nine in the evening, and there were few people around the dormitory buildings. Chen Xiucheng was practically being hauled away. He stumbled several times, nearly falling, but Wu Jinshan caught him each time and kept dragging him along. He had no idea what was so urgent that it couldn’t be said directly and instead required being hauled off to some deserted corner.

“What the hell are you doing? Slow down,” Chen Xiucheng grumbled. He had been in the middle of a heated match when he got pulled out, and now he was annoyed, smacking Wu Jinshan’s arm in frustration. “Weren’t you out on a date with Song He? Why’d you come back?”

The mention of Song He sent Wu Jinshan’s barely contained anger surging to the surface again.

“Delete it!” He slammed Chen Xiucheng against the wall by the collar and barked, “Did you register an account on some dating app using my info? Delete it!”

Chen Xiucheng figured Wu Jinshan was being petty again and had come back just to nitpick over something trivial. But seeing how furious he looked, Chen Xiucheng began to feel a little guilty. After all, posting someone’s photo online without asking was not exactly the right thing to do. He pulled out his phone, trying to look cooperative.

He deleted the profile slowly, making sure Wu Jinshan could see everything step by step, even deactivating the account in front of him to avoid future complaints. While he was at it, he asked about the date. “So how did it go with Song He? You two getting along? I picked him out for you after careful consideration.”

Song He again. Every other sentence was about Song He. Wu Jinshan could not take it anymore. The last sliver of rationality he had left, the part that had wanted to sit down and have a proper conversation with Chen Xiucheng was completely wiped out. His voice turned mocking.

“Careful consideration? You really went all out.”

Chen Xiucheng paused, his finger hovering above the “delete account” button. He looked up at Wu Jinshan in surprise, ready to defend his supposed “well-meaning intentions.”

“What’s wrong with Song He? I mean, he’s perfect. He was good-looking, fit, smart, considerate, and well-spoken. He’s only two years older than you. That’s not a big deal at all.”

“Since he’s so perfect, I’d better not waste his time.” Wu Jinshan clenched his molars, his expression like he could devour Chen Xiucheng alive.

Chen Xiucheng had long been used to Wu Jinshan baring his fangs at him. He no longer took the man’s frequent outbursts seriously.

What he could not explain, though, for some reason, it felt kind of good to hear that things had not worked out between Wu Jinshan and Song He.

His friend was still single. He figured it was fine to be quietly happy about it, but of course, he could not say that out loud. So he replied as usual, “You and him being together isn’t some waste. You’re a great catch too.”

“Really? What’s so great about me?” Wu Jinshan sounded genuinely curious.

“You… you’re handsome, you’ve got a great body, your grades are good, you can play soccer, you know how to swim… and you’re good at lots of other things.” Chen Xiucheng rolled his eyes as he thought it over, then started listing more things without thinking, counting them off on his fingers. “You’re just quiet, always wearing that sour expression, a little arrogant, full of twisted logic, bad technique…”

Just as Wu Jinshan turned to leave, Chen Xiucheng realized he had gone too far. In a panic, he tried to explain, “Wait, I didn’t mean it like that. All those things can be changed, bit by bit.”

He reached out to stop him, but Wu Jinshan suddenly turned back around, catching him off guard. Chen Xiucheng crashed face-first into his solid chest.

“I-I-I didn’t mean it…” Chen Xiucheng rubbed his aching nose, squinting up to steal a glance at Wu Jinshan’s expression.

“You don’t like any of those traits? None of them?”

Chen Xiucheng frowned, thinking Wu Jinshan was way too picky, and asked, “So what’s your type then? I can help you find someone.”

“You!” Wu Jinshan shouted so abruptly that Chen Xiucheng nearly went deaf.

He clutched his ears and nearly cursed at him for being insane.

“What? What about me? And don’t come looking for me just to practice if you’re going to be like this. I told you to buy a Fleshlight, and you wouldn’t. Wait, don’t tell me you’re impotent?” He was saying it on purpose to get a rise out of Wu Jinshan. The man was always barking at him for no reason.

To his surprise, Wu Jinshan actually played along. “Yeah, I’m impotent. Serves me right for not serving you well. Karma, I guess.”

“Then I’ll help you find a doctor.” Chen Xiucheng blurted it out. The fact that Wu Jinshan did not immediately deny it and even acknowledged it made the whole thing feel serious.

“Chen Xiucheng!” Wu Jinshan roared again. His chest ached sharply, a heavy pressure clamping down on his lungs. He could barely breathe.

The summer night was thick and stifling, as suffocating as the frustration and turmoil bottled up inside him. Wu Jinshan suddenly realized this was probably the consequence of his own actions. He had brought it upon himself. He had crossed a line that night at the hotel, and now everything that followed was the price he had to pay.

“Fine. I get it. This is what you want.” Wu Jinshan’s eyes were red with frustration and hurt. Chen Xiucheng’s expression gave him nothing, not even the faintest sign that there was a chance between them. “If you really don’t want me, I won’t come near you again.”

“Wait, what do you mean you get it?” Chen Xiucheng finally realized how serious this had gotten, but by the time he chased after him, Wu Jinshan had already vanished into the darkness of the stairwell.

Wu Jinshan had always claimed to hate people with no sense of boundaries. Only now did he realize that the one who had unknowingly crossed the line all along was himself.