CTL 15

Though he felt quite uneasy and restless, the work of a new employee was not so easy. Just adjusting to the company was difficult, so Seohwi worked up a sweat for quite a while.

But even amidst his busy schedule, he kept thinking about what happened last night. It was because he couldn’t understand it at all.

When he asked back so nonchalantly if he had dreamed it, he wondered if he had really made a mistake, but when he saw his reddened eyes, he didn’t think so. He seemed nonchalant, but if you looked just a little closer, you could tell. The fact that Yoongeon was extremely sad. On top of that, there was the unidentifiable voice that kept swirling in his head….

“…….”

Because of that, he kept finding himself pausing even while working. Seohwi sighed in frustration, took off the glasses he was wearing, and pressed the bridge of his nose.

“Executive Director, where are you going?”

It was then. When he turned his head at Chief Ha’s words, Yoongeon, who was just about to leave, looked at him and said he was going out for some business. He said, “Ah,” took a card out of his pocket, and said.

“Everyone’s probably not feeling well, so it would be good to have hangover soup for lunch.”

Yoongeon’s gaze lingered on Seohwi for a moment before falling away. Seohwi, feeling some sort of unsettling emotion from that brief gaze, frowned slightly, but Yoongeon did not look at him again.

“Why do you give us things like this every time. You really don’t have to give it to us today. We can just eat at the company cafeteria.”

“Don’t ruin your stomachs, just eat. I’m off then.”

Saying that they had shame too and that it was fine today, Chief Ha tried to return the card, but Yoongeon didn’t take it and just walked out. Chief Ha, who had been staring at his back with a vacant expression, looked at the team members and said.

“No, I really think I should stop talking to our Executive Director from now on. He gives me his card every time I talk to him, it’s getting a little scary now…?”

To his added words, “What if he thinks I talk to him whenever I want to eat something?” the team members burst out laughing.

“It’s okay. He probably isn’t thinking anything.”

The reply came from Yebin.

“He’s just like that.”

“Like, he just, gives his card to anyone?”

“It’s not that, it’s that he seems like he doesn’t, but he’s very attentive. Look at what he said earlier, he said to have hangover soup because our stomachs probably don’t feel well. It means he’s being mindful.”

“Whoa… awesome. I’m so touched.”

The team members each covered their mouths and chattered away. Yebin, watching them, said, “Alright, alright,” and told them to gather. Then she took the huddled group to the conference room. Seohwi, who had been briefly looking back at the spot Yoongeon had left, also entered the conference room.

“As you know, we have a lot to do from now on. Our goal is to finish the prototype production within a year.”

Everyone gathered here knew that this task was practically impossible. This was because it usually took at least a year and a half for a new car design to be produced as a prototype. Even that was considered a tight schedule.

“Oof… that’s really tight. Can we do this?”

Assistant Manager Jung said, shaking his head.

“We have to try somehow. If we set a goal of one year and work towards it, we’ll be able to finish as quickly as possible.”

Yebin looked at Seohwi and said.

“Seohwi-ssi, your design will be worked on by Manager Kim Jia and Chief Ha. First, Seohwi-ssi, please revise the sketch one last time and toss it to Jia-ssi. Assistant Manager Park Changmin, please look over it with Seohwi-ssi while he sketches and help him finish as quickly as possible.”

When Assistant Manager Park asked how much time he had, she glanced at the clock and began to estimate.

“We just need to refine it from here, so please give it to us by 4 o’clock today. That’s the only way we can proceed to the next step. We have to draw the interior design right away, so it’s difficult to give more time than that.”

She said that since the contest had received a lot of attention, the goal was to produce the new car as quickly as possible so that people’s interest wouldn’t wane. Seohwi returned to his seat and began to meticulously check if there were any designs that needed final revisions.

Although it was usually a team with a good atmosphere, once everyone started focusing on work, all chatter disappeared. They worked frantically, and when lunchtime came, they ate hangover soup with the card Yoongeon had given them, and then worked frantically again. They were people who became frighteningly quiet once they focused on work. And that was the same for Seohwi. He was in the middle of concentrating on his work when Assistant Manager Park, who had been staring at the screen next to him, opened his mouth.

“By the way, did you always wear glasses?”

“…Yes?”

When Seohwi, who had been wrestling with the screen, turned his head to look, Park Changmin made a round shape like glasses.

“I don’t think you wore them last time.”

“Ah…. I wear them when I work.”

To his words that he only wore contacts when he needed to pay attention, Assistant Manager Park nodded his head.

“Aah, your eyesight must be bad.”

“Yes.”

To his comment that both wearing and not wearing glasses suited him, Seohwi gave a faint smile. His eyesight had been good when he was young, but it started to decline after he began to set his career path in design, and these days, the screen wouldn’t look clear if he didn’t wear glasses when working.

“Let’s see, now here, I think we just need to clean up the lines here.”

He said, pointing to the bottom right of the screen.

“This might be a characteristic of yours, Seohwi-ssi, but since there are too many lines, it looks a bit messy. It would be a problem if what needs to be clearly seen isn’t, so I think we just need to tidy up this part.”

After listening to his senior’s opinion and revising the design, he got the permission to pass it on, saying this was good enough. The feeling of his overheated head from work finally cooled down.

A short while later, after tossing the work to Manager Kim Jia, Seohwi was taking a short breather when Kim Jia came to him again. She said he did a good job and suggested they go to the break room for a moment. He followed her, wondering if he had made some sort of mistake, but Kim Jia made Seohwi a cup of coffee and then sat across from him.

“You worked hard. It was tough, right?”

“Not at all.”

She encouraged him and briefly explained how the design would change.

“Because we are a company, we can’t push through with just uniqueness. We can’t completely ignore mass appeal, so there might be parts that change in a way you don’t like, Seohwi-ssi.”

“Yes. That is fine.”

“In that regard, we need to communicate well with each other. It’s better to clash over everything, even if there’s trouble, than to have problems later. As you can see, our team isn’t authoritarian or hierarchical, so you don’t have to find it difficult to speak up. Okay?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Then I’ll assume you understand well.”

Kim Jia said she would discuss the overall evaluation of the design with Chief Ha Inyoung today and tell him again. She patted Seohwi’s shoulder once more, saying he had worked hard again.

“To be honest, I was very surprised at first because the design was so unconventional. I know you know what kind of car design our company pursues, yet you submitted something like that….”

Seohwi also knew well what kind of design Shinhyeon Motors had. So it would be a lie to say he hadn’t hesitated. Hadn’t he agonized over it for a long time because of that?

“Anyway, you worked hard. Um… and.”

As he was lost in thought, Manager Kim Jia seemed to hesitate for a moment before continuing.

“Excuse me… if it’s okay, would you like to have dinner together today?”

“…….”

“Just the two of us.”

He, who had proposed dinner to Seohwi, seemed a little nervous. Seohwi, looking at him, readily nodded his head.

“Yes.”

Didn’t he have something to say to this person anyway? It wasn’t a bad proposal. At Seohwi’s consent, Kim Jia was overjoyed and asked if he really meant it, then soon returned to her seat, saying there was no time for this. It seemed she had called him to the break room just to say this.

“…….”

Seohwi, who had been staring at her back, let out a small sigh. While they were talking, the coffee had cooled down to a lukewarm temperature. Just like his own heart facing Kim Jia. Seohwi muttered.

“…He looked extremely tired.”

His mind was filled only with thoughts about Yoongeon.

He recalled Yoongeon’s hollow, sunken eyes. They were eyes that didn’t match the cold expression he had when he held his face and turned it from side to side.

‘I don’t have a hobby of kissing men, Yoon Seohwi-ssi.’

If it were his usual self, it would have been a rude act enough to show he was displeased, but for some reason, he didn’t feel offended when Yoongeon treated him that way. It was just concerning. Whether he had slept properly, things like that.

“Haaa….”

He sighed and muttered.

“What on earth does it mean that I shouldn’t be pushed away so helplessly….”

The sad voice that still hadn’t left his mind. Don’t be pushed away so helplessly, don’t miss him this time. Seohwi chewed on his lip.

To be honest… Yoongeon looked so cold and aloof that Seohwi wanted to do nothing, just as he originally did. Because he had never deliberately approached someone who told him not to come close. This kind of thing was unfamiliar. He was reluctant.

Was it because he was surprised that he looked like he was about to die? Even a heartless person would hold on to someone like that, Seohwi thought. The very act of thinking about someone who was trying so hard to push him away was extremely agonizing.

✧ ✧ ✧

“What are you thinking about?”

Seohwi snapped his head up at the voice calling him. Kim Jia, who had been in the middle of her meal, was smiling brightly at him.

“It seems like your mind has been elsewhere this whole time.”

“Ah….”

He looked at the plate in front of Manager Kim Jia. He had planned to say something around the end of the meal, but he now saw that Kim Jia was almost finished eating. On the other hand, Seohwi had barely emptied his plate. Because he had been lost in other thoughts the whole time.

“I am sorry.”

“For what. It’s okay.”

He thought about making a show of eating even at this late hour, but in the end, he put down his spoon. Because he knew that dragging things out here would not be good for either of them.

“Seohwi-ssi, is your stomach upset? You’ve barely eaten since earlier. If I knew this would happen, we should have had porridge. I like porridge too.”

Kim Jia, who had been bantering that she often ate porridge even when she wasn’t sick, looked at Seohwi and smiled brightly.

“Why? Why do you keep staring at me like that.”

He asked what he was trying to say. Seeing the trace of anticipation in his face, Seohwi hesitated for a moment before opening his mouth.

“I am sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. You can leave food if your stomach is upset….”

“No, not about that.”

Seohwi shook his head. He was sorry for the person who was looking forward to something, but this kind of thing had to be finished quickly to avoid trouble later.

“I’m going to refuse.”

“……Uh….”

Since he was the person who had openly expressed his interest in him at the welcome party, it was impossible that he didn’t know his feelings. The only reason he hadn’t refused right away was because he didn’t want to embarrass Manager Kim Jia in front of many people. Whatever the circumstances, he was a person who had expressed interest in him, so he had only dragged it out until now to be polite.

“Do you have a girlfriend by any chance?”

“No.”

Seohwi shook his head at Kim Jia’s cautious question. A girlfriend, that was absurd. In fact, he had received confessions several times in the past, but for some reason, he felt like he was committing a sin, so he had never dated anyone.

“Then you don’t like me?”

“…No. I don’t think that.”

He thought, where would he find the time to think someone he’d barely seen was not to his liking. At that answer, Manager Kim Jia let out a small sigh with a disappointed expression.

“It’s not that you don’t like me, and it’s not that you have a girlfriend, but aren’t you rejecting me too outright?”

“…….”

He really had nothing to say to that.

“You can decide after meeting a few times. It’s not like we’re some kind of fated love, or anything. That’s how everyone dates. They meet based on mutual interest.”

At Kim Jia’s words about fated love, Seohwi asked back.

“…Fated love?”

“Oh my, don’t tell me you’re waiting for someone like that?”

Seohwi, who was looking at Kim Jia laughing and saying, “That’s so romantic,” thought with a dazed expression before shaking his head.

“There isn’t, …someone like that.”

“You’re not thinking it’s embarrassing, are you? But I’m really not the type of person to laugh at something like that.”

Kim Jia seemed to wave her hand, then rested her chin on her hand and looked at Seohwi. Kim Jia, who had been carefully studying his face, showed great disappointment.

“It’s such a shame.”

“He was really my type, the first one I’ve seen in a long time….” Kim Jia grumbled.

“Really, really super handsome….”

“…….”

He had nothing particular to say in response, so he stayed quiet, and Kim Jia rolled her large eyes and soon looked at him with a mischievous expression.

“By the way, can I ask you just one last thing?”

“Yes.”

“By any chance, are you rejecting me because you’re worried I might make your life at the company difficult?”

Having had many thoughts in that short time, Manager Kim Jia’s question was quite cautious.

“I want to clear up that misunderstanding if that’s what it is. I’m not that petty of a person.”

“No, it’s not your fault, Manager….”

“We usually all call each other by our first names. Call me Jia-ssi.”

“…It’s not your problem, Jia-ssi, it’s because I’m waiting for someone.”

He wasn’t sure if it was a fated love, but there was someone he was waiting for. Seohwi confided a small part of his heart to Kim Jia, who was being friendly to him. Because he seemed like a good listener.

“Oh my, someone you’re waiting for?”

As expected, Kim Jia asked back without any sign of being annoyed.

“Can I ask who it is?”

“…….”

It wasn’t that he couldn’t say if she asked, but the problem was that Seohwi himself didn’t know who that man was. When Seohwi couldn’t answer, Manager Kim Jia just laughed, saying she was sorry.

“It must be someone you like a lot. To be waiting for them.”

“I don’t know for sure.”

Do I like him? That wasn’t certain, but he did miss him. Even though he didn’t even know his face….

“Hey, you must like him! If it’s to that extent. Do you wait for someone you don’t even like?”

Kim Jia nodded and muttered something to herself before saying.

“I’m envious….”

“……?”

He let out a deep sigh.

“Thinking of someone so deeply in your heart. I wonder when I’ll ever experience a love like that. I thought fated love was something that only happens in movies, but seeing you, Seohwi-ssi, I guess that’s not it. Suddenly, I’m really envious.”

Kim Jia laughed, saying that not just anyone can do that either.

“Then you must have been in a very awkward position because of me. I’m sorry.”

“No, that’s….”

Seohwi shook his head, looking a little flustered. It wasn’t something for him to be sorry about. If anything, it was something he should be sorry for. It was right for him to be sorry for having to refuse every confession like this because of a man whose name and face he didn’t even know.

“Huh?”

It was then. As he was wondering what to say to put it nicely, Manager Kim Jia looked out the window and tilted her head.

“Executive Director?”

At the words Executive Director, Seohwi turned his head. Looking, he saw Yoongeon’s back. He was walking somewhere in a great hurry.

“That’s strange, I’m sure he saw us, so why did he just walk away?”

“We even made eye contact.” Kim Jia said, scratching her chin with her index finger.

“I was about to greet him, but he just left. I guess the Executive Director couldn’t see us because he was far away. What a shame, I like the Executive Director. Our Executive Director is really handsome too….”

“…….”

Kim Jia praised Yoongeon. For some reason, his heart felt uncomfortable for a moment, but Seohwi didn’t show it. More than anything, he didn’t have the time to show it because he was a little concerned about him, who had already disappeared.

“I got rejected, so I should be sad, but what do I do, the risotto is so delicious?”

Kim Jia nonchalantly cut off her interest in Yoongeon and made a joke, but even while smiling back, Seohwi’s mind was running entirely towards Yoongeon.

✧ ✧ ✧

Why on earth was he there… was the only thought he had. His heart felt uncomfortable, like someone who had been caught doing something they shouldn’t have, and that feeling continued even after he parted with Kim Jia. Since they had eaten near the company, it wasn’t strange to see Yoongeon, but for some reason, he felt like he had failed.

“Haaa….”

He tried to look for him belatedly, but of course, he couldn’t find him. Knowing how foolish it was to search for someone who had already left…. In the end, Seohwi, who had let out a sigh, was about to go down to the underground parking lot when someone suddenly called him.

“Oppa!”