TVDC 6: Surging

Qiu Xuning looked at him a little hesitantly and whispered, “Are you gambling?”

Qiu Shuohai rubbed his hands together and chuckled. “Just a few rounds, that’s all. You don’t know, I won over a thousand at the start, only lost it later. As long as I have a bit more money to play with, I’m sure I can win it back. Then I’ll buy you a phone, how about that? Haven’t you always wanted one? I’ll get it for you. Just help your ge out and ask Mom for four thousand yuan for me. Once I win it back, I’ll take you to buy the phone right away.”

Qiu Xuning shook his head. If it were the “old Qiu Xuning,” the temptation of a phone might have made him agree to Qiu Shuohai’s request. But he had long since gotten used to life without one, so it didn’t matter to him anymore. He spoke slowly, “I don’t want to.”

Qiu Shuohai’s face fell. He said to Qiu Xuning, “What’s wrong with you? You won’t even help me with something this small?”

Qiu Xuning lowered his head, his voice dropping even softer. “Last time I listened to you, He Zhiyuan cracked my head open. What about this time?”

“You’re blaming me for getting you beaten up by He Zhiyuan?” Qiu Shuohai propped himself up on the bed and leaned closer. “Then how about I help you hit him back? I’ll get your revenge for you, and you help me ask Mom for the money, deal?”

Feeling the warmth of his breath drawing near, Qiu Xuning quickly stood up, putting distance between them. “Don’t come any closer,” he said to Qiu Shuohai.

Seeing how he was being avoided as if he carried some plague, Qiu Shuohai felt deeply unsettled. “…What’s wrong with you? It’s not like I’m going to eat you, what are you hiding for?”

Qiu Xuning lowered his gaze to the tile patterns on the floor and said softly, “I don’t like people getting too close.”

“When did you pick up that weird habit? Forget it—what I just said, will you agree or not?” Qiu Shuohai asked.

Qiu Xuning stayed silent for a while before finally answering, “No.”

“…” Qiu Shuohai stood up, speaking impatiently. “Forget it, you’re so damn fussy. I’ll figure something else out. Oh, and don’t you dare tell Mom and Dad, or I’ll make you pay for it.”

Qiu Xuning didn’t say anything. Only after Qiu Shuohai left did he finally let out a breath of relief. Then he noticed the cold wind still streaming in from outside, chilling him, so he quickly shut the window. Sniffling a little, his eyes fell on the spot where Qiu Shuohai had been sitting. Pressing his lips together, he reached out and fussed with it for a while until every wrinkle in the bedsheet was smoothed flat.

He sat down at his desk and had barely started on his homework when Zhou Mingmei’s voice came from downstairs, calling him to dinner.

Qiu Xuning put down his pen and went downstairs, only to find the living room lively. His eldest sister, Qiu Haiyan, had come home.

Qiu Haiyan was already twenty-four this year. She wasn’t very tall, but her looks were quite pretty, her brows and eyes somewhat resembling Qiu Xuning’s. Her skin, however, wasn’t fair—it was tanned and darker. She had inherited Zhou Mingmei’s loud voice, and when she saw Qiu Xuning coming down, she raised her brows in delight and called out, “Ningning, come here!”

Qiu Xuning hesitated, staring at her. Impatient by nature, Qiu Haiyan strode forward in a few quick steps and grabbed his shoulders. “Let me see—ah, you’ve gotten thinner! Mom, don’t skimp on the meals. Buy more vegetables. Ningning’s still growing, what are you saving money for?”

Zhou Mingmei’s face darkened at that. “Why don’t you ask him yourself what he’s been eating lately?”

Qiu Haiyan turned her head toward Qiu Xuning, and he answered blankly, “Meat. Lots of meat.”

Something seemed to cross Qiu Haiyan’s mind, and her tone dropped noticeably. “Let me see how your head’s doing.”

As she spoke, she reached out and pulled off his cap, spotting the wound on his head. She quickly set the cap back on him, then fished two hundred yuan from her pocket and stuffed it into his hand. “Here, take it. Buy whatever you like. If it’s not enough, just tell me.”

Qiu Xuning was a little surprised that Qiu Haiyan hadn’t gotten angry or gone looking for trouble with He Zhiyuan. He lowered his head, staring at the bills in his hand, still unsure whether to keep them, when Qiu Shuohai came over and tugged one note right out of his grasp. “Jie, you give money to Qiu Xuning but not to me?”

Qiu Haiyan shot him a glare, then pulled out another bill and shoved it into Qiu Xuning’s hand. Seeing Qiu Shuohai reaching again, she kicked him hard enough that he cried out in pain, nearly dropping to his knees. “…Damn, you’re ruthless! So Qiu Xuning’s your brother and I’m not?”

Qiu Haiyan said flatly, “If you had money, you would just waste it.”

Qiu Shuohai glared at her, feeling wronged, but didn’t dare fight back. Clutching the bill, he sat at the table with a sour face.

Qiu Xuning handed the money back to Qiu Haiyan and whispered, “I still have money. You take it back.”

Qiu Haiyan shot him a glare, already impatient. “I told you to keep it, so keep it.”

Qiu Xuning quietly accepted the money, thinking that in some ways, Qiu Haiyan was quite similar to Mrs. Qiu Yanru.

That evening, even the head of the household, Qiu Shunming, had come home. He glanced around the room and said, “Where is he?”

Zhou Mingmei said flatly, “He can’t even mop the floor properly. Useless at everything. I’m punishing him by not letting him eat, so he’ll learn his lesson.”

Qiu Shunming clicked his tongue and grunted, “Serves him right. Our family doesn’t feed freeloaders.”

Qiu Xuning glanced at them, his lips moving as if he wanted to speak, but in the end nothing came out.

Just then, Qiu Zhaozhao reached out with his chopsticks, grabbed a chicken leg, and had just dropped it into his bowl when Qiu Haiyan spotted it. Her face immediately darkened. “What are you doing eating a chicken leg? You’re already grown, and you’re still snatching food from your younger brother? Put it back right now.”

Qiu Zhaozhao reluctantly looked at the chicken leg, then placed it into Qiu Xuning’s bowl. “You eat it.”

“…,” Qiu Xuning pushed it back to her. “You have it. I don’t really have an appetite.”

Qiu Haiyan snatched the chicken leg up with her chopsticks. “You really don’t want it?”

Qiu Xuning shook his head. He had never been fond of chicken or duck meat.

So Qiu Haiyan dropped the chicken leg into Qiu Shuohai’s bowl instead.

Qiu Shuohai happily ate it up, grinning smugly at Qiu Zhaozhao as he chewed.

Qiu Zhaozhao poked at her rice and shot him a glare.

After dinner, Zhou Mingmei cleared the dishes. Qiu Xuning followed her into the kitchen and noticed there was still a bowl of rice left. He glanced at Zhou Mingmei, hesitated, then whispered, “I’m not full yet. I’d like another bowl.”

Zhou Mingmei paused for a moment, then laughed. Her features usually looked rather harsh—her face often stiff, her eyes tilted sharply, making her seem difficult to approach. But when she smiled at Qiu Xuning, all that sharpness softened, and she suddenly looked every bit the gentle, loving mother. That stark change only made Qiu Xuning realize even more that perhaps she truly was a good mother.

“Back then you used to eat so much. How could half a bowl be enough now? Go on, eat. Is it a bit cold? Maybe pour some hot water over it,” Zhou Mingmei said.

Qiu Xuning shook his head. “It’s not cold, no need to add water.”

He picked up the bowl of rice and added some vegetables. Zhou Mingmei also took a pair of chopsticks, fished through the chicken soup, and pulled out a plump drumstick and wing for him. “This was an old hen, stewed especially for you. Yet it all ended up in Shuohai and Zhaozhao’s stomachs. The both of them are useless, good for nothing, not even their studies. Yet when it comes to eating, they’re second to none. That Zhaozhao girl, I’ll send her to the factory sooner or later, so she doesn’t waste food at home.”

Qiu Xuning looked up at her in surprise. “…Isn’t Zhaozhao-jie doing pretty well in school?”

While piling more chicken into his bowl, Zhou Mingmei said, “That’s just so-so, what’s good about it? Your brothers and sisters can’t be counted on. You’re the smartest one. Study hard, make your parents proud, and later on you’ll have a respectable job. Your father and I are relying on you to support us in our old age.”

Qiu Xuning paused. He knew Zhou Mingmei wasn’t joking about making Zhaozhao drop out. She had already mentioned it many times at the dinner table, and Qiu Shunming agreed with her. The only reason it hadn’t happened yet was because the “old Qiu Xuning” relied on her to tutor him, saving them the expense of a private teacher.

Thinking of this, Qiu Xuning murmured, “If Zhaozhao-jie can’t manage her studies, then I’ll be even worse at it.”

Zhou Mingmei gave him a look. “Why do you keep praising that girl?”

Qiu Xuning froze for a moment, then lowered his eyes and murmured almost inaudibly, “I mean it.”

“Forget it, we’ll talk about this later. Hurry up and eat, and when you’re done, wash the bowl for me,” Zhou Mingmei said.

She turned her back and started washing the dishes, completely putting Qiu Xuning out of mind.

Holding the bowl of rice, Qiu Xuning turned and left.

The Qiu family used the kind of oversized bowls common in the countryside. It was wide-rimmed, able to hold a lot. Zhou Mingmei had piled plenty of chicken onto his, heaping it up along one side of the rim. The rest was what Qiu Xuning had picked himself: sour and spicy shredded potatoes, chili-fried dried tofu, chili stir-fried beef, and a big chopstick’s worth of baby bok choy. There had already been quite a bit of leftover rice at the bottom, and now, with so many dishes stacked on top, the whole bowl rose like a little mountain.

Qiu Xuning actually didn’t dare face He Zhiyuan. Even though it was the “old Qiu Xuning” who had been beaten, he had inherited those memories, and the fear lingered all the same. Still, he understood He Zhiyuan’s nature. As the saying goes, “a clever child may not grow into a great man,” but if you reason it backward, since He Zhiyuan became so formidable in the future, then even now he couldn’t be anything less than impressive.

He wanted to win him over so that He Zhiyuan wouldn’t hold such a grudge against him, or against this family.

Though the Qiu family hadn’t treated He Zhiyuan well, they had treated Qiu Xuning with great care, looking after him in every possible way. Even if at first he had felt uneasy, by now he couldn’t help but grow fond of them.

Carrying the bowl of food, Qiu Xuning walked to He Zhiyuan’s bedroom door. He stood there for a long while before freeing one hand to knock. He didn’t even dare to knock hard, just tapped lightly twice, then stopped, waiting for He Zhiyuan’s response.

After a moment, He Zhiyuan opened the door. Seeing who it was, his expression showed no surprise at all.

Qiu Xuning held the bowl out to him, not daring to meet his eyes, his gaze fixed instead on a patch of floor by his toes. “…You didn’t eat dinner, so I brought you some.”

He Zhiyuan didn’t take it. He only stood there, watching him in silence. Under that piercing stare that seemed to see right through him, Qiu Xuning couldn’t help but glance up once, then just as quickly looked away, fixing his eyes on the doorframe in front of He Zhiyuan. “…I want to tell you I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have cursed at you, and I shouldn’t have stolen your things. I was wrong. So… I’m sorry. From now on, let’s get along, okay?”

His voice was soft, nothing like the sharp, arrogant tone from before that always seemed to pierce people’s eardrums. He Zhiyuan never knew he could sound like this. It was so gentle, like a timid child, laced with nervousness, and his words trembling. Even his pale, thin eyelids, lowered in unease, had taken on a faint flush, as though if left a moment longer, he might burst into tears.

At last, He Zhiyuan spoke. “And how exactly do you want us to ‘get along’?”

Hearing him respond, Qiu Xuning let out a huge breath of relief, the tension in him easing. He lifted his eyes, even managing a small smile. “…Just get along, that’s all. I’ll make sure my parents treat you well too, they won’t bully you. They’re actually good people, just a bit stubborn. So don’t hate them…”

He hadn’t even finished speaking when He Zhiyuan let out a quiet, mocking laugh, as if ridiculing him.

Hearing it, Qiu Xuning felt a faint flush creep across his face. He knew his own words sounded easy when he wasn’t the one suffering. “…I’ll treat you well. Really.”

He looked up at He Zhiyuan nervously, his voice growing weaker, stammering, “The food will get cold, will you eat it?”

He Zhiyuan replied, “I’m not hungry, so there’s no need.”

Qiu Xuning froze, he had actually refused. He had thought for sure he would take it. “But yesterday… you ate it.”

The corner of He Zhiyuan’s mouth curved into a faint smile. “Food from you? As if I’d eat it. I threw it away. Go check the trash can now, you might still find it.”

Qiu Xuning stared blankly, murmuring, “You didn’t eat it? I thought you did… I thought you forgave me.”

Actually, there’s no such thing as forgiveness or not. He Zhiyuan also beat up “Qiu Xuning,” sending him straight to the hospital for several days, so they were even. But Qiu Xuning, wanting to get along well with He Zhiyuan, subconsciously ignored that fact.

He Zhiyuan watched him at his leisure, but his gaze never wavered, catching every flicker of expression on Qiu Xuning’s face. Yet what Qiu Xuning did next cracked through that calm exterior.

As though weighed down by deep grievance, the moment he finished speaking, a heat rose in Qiu Xuning’s eyes. He knew he was about to cry again—crying just because of a single sentence from He Zhiyuan. He hated how easily tears came to him, hated this weak side of himself, and he knew no one would like him this way. So he tried his best to hold back the sting in his eyes, lowering his head so He Zhiyuan wouldn’t see him looking so pitiful. “I really just want to get along with you. Nothing else. I’m not lying, I wouldn’t deceive you…”

The more he spoke, the harder it became to continue, his voice tightening with sobs. That sense of grievance refused to be pushed down, hooking one emotion after another from deep inside him. The unease and dread of suddenly finding himself in this strange new world, the shame and panic of realizing he liked boys and fearing his mother might find out, the hurt of being rejected by He Zhiyuan…

It all snowballed larger and larger, like a dam breaking open, surging out beyond his control. Heat rushed through his whole body, his eyes brimming at once with a flood of crystal tears that spilled down in heavy drops, splashing against the floor with each blink.

He Zhiyuan watched Qiu Xuning’s shoulders trembling with little jerks, then noticed something dripping down, scattering into tiny splashes on the wooden floor. His brows lifted slightly, a flicker of something strange passing through his eyes.

Crying?

Just from a few words of his—he cried?