PHUW 57

Haeri suddenly felt cold chill spread from deep within his heart at the sight of his turned back.

Of course he would be angry. If he weren’t, that wouldn’t be human. Anyone would be angry just being bitten. And this was worse: bitten badly by the very dog he had opposed adopting because it would be hard to handle. More than that, even a nick on the finger is enough to make someone furious, but he had bled so much his face turned pale and had to have his flesh stitched in the ER. Honestly, even if he shouted at him to get lost because he was sick of the sight of him, Haeri would have nothing to say. If anything, he should be grateful he wasn’t hit.

So why did he feel hurt? What right did he even have to feel hurt? He should be acting like he wanted to die from guilt… and yet he was sulking because his hand had been pushed away? Crazy. Shameless. Selfish to the point of delusion, like some paranoid lunatic.

Haeri could not understand his own feelings at all.

It was the same after they arrived home.

When they came inside, Gom-i scratched at the living room window, whining to be let in. He wanted to, but he couldn’t because of Jeong Mok.

“Are you going to leave him out there?”

“Later. After you go in and rest, hyung-nim.”

Jeong Mok scowled and stared at him.

“You said earlier you had something to say.”

“I’ll say it tomorrow. It’s nothing urgent.”

“Really? I don’t think I can tomorrow, so I’ll say it now.”

“Go ahead.”

Haeri mumbled and kept his eyes fixed on Jeong Mok’s chest, unable to lift his head.

But instead of speaking, Jeong Mok just sighed again and again. During that long pause, Haeri’s head filled with all kind bad scenarios.

What if he told him to send Gom-i to a shelter? He would have no excuse, no right to object. He would have to send him there first, then think again later. He would look for a dog training center and register Gom-i, and in the meantime he would study hard on how to handle a large dog. He would work extra hard doing all the housework while Jeong Mok’s arm healed, and even help out with odd jobs at the construction site. He would refuse to take payment for the hospital bill, but if Haeri insisted, he would at least buy him a good gift…

While these thoughts tangled on, Jeong Mok finally spoke.

“Would about a week be enough to find a place? Like you said, even just in the next neighborhood there are plenty of empty houses. Finding one with a yard big enough for you and Gom-i to live in won’t be hard. It’ll be cheap too.”

“What?”

At first Haeri didn’t understand. He lifted his head and looked at him. Jeong Mok’s cold face showed not a trace of joking.

“S-suddenly?”

“What do you mean suddenly. This morning you said you’d take Gom-i out.”

“B-But.”

“Each fang mark took four stitches. Sixteen stitches in total. You can’t live with a dog that bites people. But you said you could never give up Gom-i, so you’ll have to leave together. Isn’t that right?”

“……”

He had a mouth. He should at least apologize. But no words came. He only opened and closed his lips in dumb silence. Jeong Mok drove the final nail in.

“Take all your things and clothes. If you leave them, they’ll go in the trash. Take Gom-i’s toys and mat too.”

The word trash drove into the center of his chest like a stake. His breath caught, his thoughts stopped. As if something clogged his ears, his hearing dulled, while a ringing of unknown origin grew louder.

Seeing him stand there blank, Jeong Mok coldly went to his room. After some time, he came out carrying a black bag.

“I’ll be staying out for a while, so contact me once you’ve moved.”

His tone made clear he didn’t even want to see Haeri’s face. Stunned, Haeri came back to his senses too late and rushed after him.

“Wait! Hyung-nim! Just a moment!”

Whether because of their difference in leg length or because he stumbled while chasing, by the time Haeri hastily shoved his feet into shoes and ran down to the parking lot, Jeong Mok was already in a blue truck.

Even as the rattling truck reversed, Haeri chased after with both hands outstretched. The truck swung back and turned with the ease of a supercar. Swept back by the gust, Haeri tumbled to the ground. The truck halted, and the passenger window slid down.

“Are you crazy? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

He furiously shouted. Jeong Mok, sitting at the driver’s seat, scowled in genuine rage.

“I was wrong! It’s all my fault! It’s all completely my fault. Even though you opposed it, I forced Gom-i into the house and couldn’t even handle him properly, and you got hurt! I’m really, really sorry! I’ll make sure nothing like this ever happens again! Please! Hyung!”

Haeri apologized, unformed and unrefined.

“……”

Jeong Mok frowned but said nothing. Haeri grew more and more frantic. His head burned hot, but from the neck down his whole body was cold, trembling. Because of the half-worn shoes his ankle twisted, and as he slipped he clutched the passenger window frame.

“Or, I mean, I’ll, I’ll just stay with Gom-i… uh… only in the garden when you’re home. That would work. We’ll only stay in the garden. So can’t we live together?”

He even thought he had come up with a decent solution.

“Why should I agree to that?”

“What?”

“Or are you just protesting on purpose to annoy me more?”

“N-No! Not like that! If it’s because the garden is in sight… then I’ll stay somewhere completely out of sight…”

“Then you can find a house out of sight.”

He was concrete. None of the smooth coaxing or generosity from their first meeting could be found. The heat spreading from his clogged ears finally stung his tear ducts.

“Why are you suddenly doing this? What is so…”

“Do I really have to spell it out for you?”

His retort carried exhaustion. In Haeri’s already blurred vision, the bandaged arm entered view. He clenched his trembling lips shut.

The passenger window rolled up. Naturally, his hand slipped away from the car. As he stepped back, the blue truck began to pull away.

By the time it left the neighborhood and disappeared from sight, his eyes were soaked.

Suddenly his strength drained. He slumped down on the spot, blankly staring at the neighborhood. A place that had felt so familiar now seemed strange and awkward. Because a storm was raging in his chest.

Squatting on the cold concrete floor of the parking lot, Haeri slowly retraced everything, from the first time he met Jeong Mok to him leaving just now. Then he let out a hollow laugh.

It had been barely a month since they met, and he had burdened him in every possible way. Eating, sleeping, even washing, he hadn’t taken care of himself and leaned entirely on Jeong Mok. Even if Jeong Mok had been willing, he should have done things properly himself.

Woof woof!

He lifted his head and saw Gom-i standing at the edge of the garden on the embankment. When their eyes met, Gom-i circled anxiously in place, then barked again while looking at him. He struggled to push his nose through the transparent railing, which was too narrow even for a paw, and when that failed he scratched furiously at the barrier with his front legs.

Even though it was clearly concern, it made Haeri feel angry.

“Hey! Are you going to cause trouble again? We got kicked out because of you!”

He shot up and snapped irritably.

Gom-i drooped his head. Seeing him shrink back made Haeri feel pity again.

“No, it’s not your fault, Gom-i. It’s hyung’s fault. I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t just words. It truly wasn’t Gom-i’s fault. He had only been the final step. All the childish, selfish things Haeri himself had done piled up and up until Jeong Mok finally exploded.

“I’m sorry, Gom-i. Hyung is really sorry for yelling at you.”

Haeri reached his hand through the gap. Gom-i licked his hand. He patted the thick bridge of his nose. Then he tugged his sleeve and wiped away his tears.

“Well, that’s how it is. Starting tomorrow, we’re going to look for a new house. Got it? At least we weren’t kicked out right this instant. He didn’t even ask for the money back. That’s enough for us to find a place to live. So don’t worry. We can live well on our own.”

Muttering, Haeri started walking. After a few steps, he noticed one foot was bare. Looking around, he spotted his sneaker at the far end where it had rolled. Limping over, he picked it up and brushed off the dust.

“These are expensive.”

It was a high-end sportswear brand pair he had bought at an outlet, but he had paid full price because it was the latest season’s release. The one who had actually spent the money was Jeong Mok, but now it was his. If he left it, it would end up in the trash. He couldn’t let something still perfectly fine be thrown away.

Shoe in hand, Haeri went back inside. In the bathroom, he washed his dirty feet and rinsed his damp face.

Then he let Gom-i back into the living room. Gom-i lay down sullenly on the floor. Haeri refilled his food and water and gave him snacks from the vet. Seeing him cheer up over a single treat, Haeri also mixed the leftover soybean paste stew with rice and kimchi and ate it clean. With his stomach full, his whole body felt heavy with drowsiness.

He thought of going to bed but ended up laying down in the living room, just in case. Gom-i flopped beside him.

“We have a lot to do starting tomorrow. So let’s sleep for now.”

Haeri hugged Gom-i and closed his eyes. It really had been an endlessly long, exhausting day.