Chapter 27 – The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth

With a heart full of gratitude, Fang Zheng decisively equipped the Golden Hoop. Though he was fairly certain this was Zombie Bird’s way of returning a favor, he still felt uneasy. What if the guy had misclicked? What if he hadn’t meant to give this item but accidentally selected it? Or what if he did intend to give it but regretted it afterward?

Wait a minute=_=

Fang Zheng had been chewing gum when he suddenly bit his tongue.

Forget about regret—this gear’s appearance was a hundred times more brutal than its stats!!! Was this really designed by a human being from Earth?!

Milk is Mom originally wore a white shirt paired with a beige vest and matching casual pants, his collar slightly open and sleeves slightly rolled up. No matter how you looked at him, he exuded the elegance of a British nobleman. But now, he looked like Sun Wukong mid-transformation, stuck with a golden hoop on his head—totally ridiculous.

It was so ugly it defied logic. This was beyond unbearable!

Fang Zheng immediately turned to head for the appearance modification studio at the end of the street, but a system notification caught his eye:

[System] Your friend Crossplayer’s Blessing has logged into the game.

Thank the heavens! Thank the earth! Thank fate for bringing us together TAT

Forget about appearance modifications—Fang Zheng instantly sent a private message:

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Finally, you’re here!! My dear comrade!!

Crossplayer had never received such treatment before and was momentarily stunned.

[Whisper] Crossplayer’s Blessing: Uh, are you sure you’re talking to me? Not the wrong person?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Don’t dodge! Don’t doubt! It’s you! It’s you!!!

[Whisper] Crossplayer’s Blessing: This humble one is terrified T_T

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Enough nonsense, did you get the guild invite? Accept it now!

[Whisper] Crossplayer’s Blessing: Already did.

[Whisper] Crossplayer’s Blessing: What kind of guild is this?

If one day Crossplayer’s Blessing gets sold and ends up counting money for his seller, don’t pity him=_=

Of course, to Fang Zheng, such a child who boards the train first and asks about the destination later was adorable~\(≧▽≦)/~

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Can’t you tell from the name? It’s our own guild!

[Whisper] Crossplayer’s Blessing: Why the sudden decision to form a guild?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Get on YY, I’ll send you a link.

Without needing to specify the channel or room number, Crossplayer deftly navigated to “Dungeon Runs,” which had now become the Mirage Server’s unofficial headquarters. Fang Zheng had been logged into YY the whole time. Switching out of the game, he saw Crossplayer in the channel and pasted the link to the Cross-server PvP tournament thread in the public chat.

A few minutes later, Crossplayer understood and couldn’t hide his excitement: “Are we forming a team to compete?”

“Smart!”

“Damn, that’s awesome!”

“Haha!”

“But I’ll be doing market research with my advisor for the entire month of May.”

“Go die—”

Time ticked by in the bottom right corner of the screen.

On YY, the Eldest Martial Brother and Second Martial Brother listened to each other’s breathing for a long, long time.

Finally, the Eldest Martial Brother spoke: “I don’t care, you have to come!”

The Second Martial Brother pitifully replied: “Darling, I’ll fail my finals…”

That said, Fang Zheng wasn’t actually planning to drag him by force. Besides, Crossplayer was an independent entity who had only run two dungeons with him—not someone he could just boss around.

“How about I lend you my account?” Crossplayer offered. “You can find someone else to operate it.”

Fang Zheng appreciated his willingness to lend his account so freely, but—

“If I could find someone who knows how to play Huaxia, wouldn’t they already have their own account?”

“Okay, that’s a problem.”

Fang Zheng had a feeling Crossplayer might fail his finals even if he focused entirely on market research =_=

“Oh, by the way, I just checked the guild roster. Why isn’t Your Uncle on it? With him, wouldn’t that make seven?”

After some thought, Fang Zheng found a truthful and objective reason: “He hasn’t logged in for a while.”

“I knew you guys missed me! Haha~~”

See, that guy was so powerful that just hearing his name made Fang Zheng hallucinate.

“I’ll operate Crossplayer’s account! I can do it!”

And this hallucination could… even respond?!

Fang Zheng glanced at the YY room’s member list, where the third username flashed into view with a thunderous sound effect T_T

Over there, the two were already chatting:

Crossplayer: “Are you Cao Cao¹Referencing the idiom “Speak of Cao Cao and Cao Cao arrives” basically means “Speak of the devil.” reincarnated? Every time someone mentions you, you show up.”

Your Uncle: “Heard you guys praising me. Geez, always complimenting me behind my back—it’s so embarrassing.”

As if compliments to his face would be any less embarrassing?

Crossplayer: “But this works out perfectly. With you, we’re set!”

Your Uncle: “Then you’d better give me the account now so I can get familiar with it.”

Crossplayer: “What about your own account?”

Your Uncle: “*Sniffles*… it got hacked~~~~=_=”

Crossplayer: “That’s just…”

Too normal=_=

For a brief moment, the Blesscaller and the healer’s hearts were in perfect sync.

Your Uncle continued oscillating between the extremes of ice and fire—

“I originally logged in to say goodbye. That bastard stripped my account and deleted it…”

“I never thought I’d get to fight alongside you guys again!”

“I considered appealing to recover it, but the account is trashed. What’s the point…”

“Hey, does this PvP tournament have cash prizes?”

“After the tournament, I might really leave. At least I’ll switch to a server with actual people…”

“Damn, I’m already hyped—what do I do?!”

Fang Zheng gave up. He was just an ordinary human, unable to keep up with a god’s mood swings.

Over there, the god had already logged into Crossplayer’s Blessing and was exploring.

Crossplayer couldn’t see, so he provided guidance via YY: “Don’t stress, just relax. A Blesscaller doesn’t require much skill anyway.”

That’s because you never bothered to learn!!!

Fang Zheng quickly switched back to the game and rushed to Crossplayer’s location, determined to prevent the birth of a second “Rally” spammer.”

Your Uncle, however, had a commendable learning attitude. He followed Fang Zheng’s instructions precisely, and the two even teamed up to fight mobs. Though both were healers, the Blesscaller’s attack power far surpassed the healer’s. With proper training, he could easily become a DPS-support hybrid. So while Fang Zheng coached, he also brainstormed ways to upgrade Crossplayer’s Blessing’s gear and weapons.

Before they knew it, it was already 3 p.m. Crossplayer had class and logged off early, while the rest of the team remained absent. Fang Zheng’s stomach growled, so he instructed over YY: “I’m gonna cook some noodles. Keep practicing.”

“No problem, don’t worry!” Your Uncle’s tone was so confident it was as if Fang Zheng could hear him thumping his chest. Just as Fang Zheng was about to remove his headphones, Your Uncle added, “Did you finish registering for the tournament?”

A wake-up call for the dreamer.

Oh damn, he’d almost forgotten!

Cold sweat broke out on Fang Zheng’s forehead as he mentally tossed his noodle-cooking plans into the Alps: “Uncle, can you check what Crossplayer’s original account ID is?” Well, along with that, he also tossed away seniority.

Your Uncle quickly retrieved and sent the ID number.

Fang Zheng minimized the game, logged into the Huaxia official website’s Cross-server PvP registration page, and entered his credentials.

The Cross-server PvP required online registration. Fang Zheng had already filled out most of the details and saved them temporarily. Now, he just needed to complete Crossplayer’s information and hit submit.

Your Uncle, unaware of the specifics, asked worriedly: “Is there still time?”

Fang Zheng checked the time on his computer: “No problem, there’s still two hours. This’ll take me seconds.”

Your Uncle earnestly reminded him: “Still, don’t take it lightly. As the saying goes, ‘The course of true love never did run smooth.'”

Fang Zheng twisted halfway around to grab an apple from the table for a quick snack: “If you’d just shut up, everything would be fine.”

Silence filled the headphones.

Fang Zheng struggled to grab the apple, turned back, and sat upright—only to find his monitor had gone dark.

He bent down to check the power strip—it was off too.

Holding onto his last shred of hope, he opened the circuit breaker box. The fuse wasn’t blown, and the switch hadn’t tripped. Clearly, this wasn’t just his problem.

In an old apartment building like his, occasional blackouts lasting half a day were nothing unusual. Besides, on such a bright afternoon, aside from being unable to watch TV or use the computer, it wasn’t a big deal.

Yeah. The course of true love never did run smooth.

If a drone had been hovering outside Fang Zheng’s window at that moment, it would’ve captured a clear shot of the master of the house curled up on the foam puzzle mats in his living room, his gloomy expression and the thick shadow looming behind him. If a title had to be added to this scene, the master himself would rise and write it in bloodied fingers—I Am Cursed.

This curse was unbreakable, ever-present, and named “Your Uncle’s Mysterious World.”

“What’s up?”

The familiarity in the Assassin’s tone made it sound like they were old friends, causing Fang Zheng’s polite greeting to stick in his throat.

“I’m dying.” Fang Zheng couldn’t think of a better way to describe his current state.

A chuckle came through the phone: “So you’re confessing your love to me before you go?”

Was this guy determined to drain his last drops of blood?!

Cutting the nonsense, Fang Zheng got straight to the point: “My place lost power, and the registration deadline is approaching. If it’s convenient, could you help me out?”

“Found the seventh member?”

“Yeah, Crossplayer logged in. But for the actual tournament, Your Uncle will be using his account. I’ll explain the details later. For now, log into the game, get on YY, and ask Your Uncle for the original account ID. I’ve already filled out everyone else’s info—just complete Crossplayer’s and submit it. The registration is on the Huaxia official website. I’ll send you my login details.”

Without further ado, the voice on the other end replied succinctly: “Got it.”

As he hung up and typed out his account details, Fang Zheng thought, this guy wasn’t without merits. At thirty-four, at least he knew how to prioritize.

…

It wasn’t until past 9 p.m. that Fang Zheng’s apartment regained power.

During that time, he did nothing but bury himself under the covers and sleep. He even dreamed of ascending to the celestial realm as an immortal, only to run into Your Uncle, who had also achieved godhood.

Finally logging back into the game, he found everyone online and chatting merrily in the guild channel. As the guild leader, he naturally made a grand entrance to assert his presence.

[Legion] Milk is Mom: Damn, finally back online!!

[Legion] Milk is Mom: What are you guys up to?

[Legion] Crossplayer’s Blessing: Practicing PvP in the Guild Hall! Leader, get over here!

Being called “Leader” was a first for Fang Zheng, who had never even been a group leader before. Without hesitation, he steered Milk is Mom toward the Guild Hall.

Soon, several figures came into view. Among them, Crossplayer was engaged in a friendly PvP match with Polly. The vast Guild Hall had become the Ghost Server Legion’s private training ground.

Sister Blood Bull was the first to notice Milk is Mom. She must’ve zoomed in on him, because she immediately asked—

[Legion] Blood Bulls Don’t Graze: What’s that thing on your head?

Puzzled, Fang Zheng zoomed in too… Damn it, he forgot to modify the Golden Hoop’s appearance!

[Legion] Milk is Mom: Give me five minutes!

With that, the healer dashed out of the Guild Hall. When he returned, the golden hoop had been replaced with a top hat.

Though the elegant British nobleman now looked more like a grand magician under the hat’s influence, it was still better than Sun Wukong.

[Legion] 2B Fighter Jet: I liked the original better.

[Legion] Milk is Mom: Your taste is questionable!

[Legion] Blood Bulls Don’t Graze: The stats are insane. Where’d you get it?

Fang Zheng glanced at Polly, who was still sparring with Crossplayer, seemingly indifferent to the guild chat and the ongoing conversation.

Where’d he get it? From Polly. Why did Polly give it to him? Because he gave Polly a top-tier accessory. Why did he give Polly a top-tier accessory? To thank him for being deputy guild leader. Why thank him for that? Because he was a grateful person… No, the further he traced it back, the more it made his skin crawl. Fang Zheng decided to cut it short.

[Legion] Milk is Mom: Doesn’t matter, forget about it. By the way, Assassin, you got the registration done, right?

[Legion] Mad Lad: Yep, Zombie was quick.

Fang Zheng stared at the message, confused.

[Legion] Milk is Mom: What does Birdy have to do with this?

[Legion] Mad Lad: I was at the mine—no computer, let alone a way to contact Your Uncle. Luckily, I had QQ on my phone and saw Zombie log in, so I had him handle it.

Damn it, and he had the nerve to agree so readily?!

[Legion] Mad Lad: Saved me the trouble of driving to an internet cafe.

The course of true love… was far too bumpy TAT

[Whisper] Mad Lad: You owe me again.

Since when?!

Wait!

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: This time has nothing to do with you! If I owe anyone, it’s Birdy!

[Whisper] Mad Lad: Then pay me a handling fee.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: F…Your…

[Whisper] Mad Lad: My mom’s doing fine.

Freaking jerk T_T

Fang Zheng was wondering why, after just one blackout, he was struggling to handle Mad Lad when Birdy interrupted his thoughts.

[Whisper] Polly: 139XXXXXXXX

Switching his view, Fang Zheng saw the zombie still dueling Crossplayer. Both were presumably on YY, meaning Polly could simultaneously PvP, provide verbal guidance, and type to him… That required some serious APM=_=

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: What’s this?

[Whisper] Polly: My number. Call me if there’s an emergency and you can’t reach me.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: What if it’s not an emergency?

[Whisper] Polly: Depending on the level of harassment, ¥5–10 per minute.

Was this a new get-rich-quick scheme?!

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: About the Golden Hoop—thanks.

[Whisper] Polly: Mhm.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Shouldn’t you say “returning the favor” or something=_=

[Whisper] Polly: Then I’d be at a huge loss.

This guy was absolutely the Emperor of Snark!!!!!!

[Whisper] Polly: Stop cursing me in your head. The world’s a dangerous place—I’m just helping you build resilience.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Please get out of my head~~ Give people some privacy~~TAT

[Whisper] Polly: How did you contact the Assassin during the blackout?

The sudden topic shift caught Fang Zheng off guard.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: I have his number.

[Whisper] Polly: Oh?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: What ‘oh’? I power-leveled him, remember?

[Whisper] Polly: Ah. Heh.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Why do I feel like punching you every time you laugh like that…

[Whisper] Polly: Your heart’s just too dark.

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  Referencing the idiom “Speak of Cao Cao and Cao Cao arrives” basically means “Speak of the devil.”