Chapter 38 – My Legion Commander (Part 2)

[System] Commentator: In the blink of an eye, the score is now 3-2! We’ve reached the sixth and final solo match! What a coincidence—the remaining two contestants both have English names: Ghost Server’s Polly vs. Meteor Blitz’s Big H!

[Spectator] Sunshine Voyager: Polly’s name has no impact…

[Spectator] Icefield Legend: Big H is even worse to look at…

[Spectator] Sister Phoenix: The zombie’s necklace is so pretty~~

[Spectator] Brother A-Wu: But I’ve been holding back about his pants…

Zombie vs. Spirit Master—this matchup has always been a toss-up, entirely dependent on one key factor: distance.

Spirit Masters are squishy glass cannons with high DPS and various crowd-control skills. If they can maintain range, prevent the zombie from closing in, and deal consistent damage, the zombie is as good as dead.

But zombies have Magic Resistance, meaning spells deal at least 50% less damage. So, while a Spirit Master can whittle them down, it takes time—and if the zombie closes the gap within that window, they can shred the Spirit Master like a ripe melon.

Both players knew this well. The moment they spawned, neither acted rashly. Instead, they each found a hiding spot to observe their surroundings.

This round’s map was the Amusement Park from a past Children’s Day event—vibrant, playful, with a giant Ferris wheel slowly turning, the air practically shimmering with joy.

Big H was hiding inside the Haunted House, while Polly crouched beneath the carousel, both trying to spot their opponent first.

[Spectator] Faint Smoke Rings: How long do you think it’ll take them to find each other?

[Spectator] Nightingale: Doesn’t matter if they find each other—I need eye drops first.

The spectators weren’t exaggerating. This map was more visually chaotic than a spot-the-difference puzzle, with a riot of clashing colors and a parade of cartoon-themed floats drifting through. Even in Spectator Mode, it was dizzying—let alone for the two players trapped inside.

But since they couldn’t engage yet, a little trash talk might at least rattle the opponent.

[Arena] Big H: The other day, you wiped The Gods 6-0. Lucky break.

[Arena] Polly: Today, your luck’s running out.

[Arena] Big H: Talk is cheap. Let’s see what you’ve got.

[Arena] Polly: Sorry, we’re different. I’m a primate.

[Arena] Big H: You’re still wearing Yellow-tier Gear. Beating you would be bullying.

[Arena] Polly: Easy fix. Let’s strip and fight naked.

[Arena] Big H: Fuck, you’re a Magic Resistance class! My skills are halved against you!

[Arena] Polly: You can choose not to attack. I’ll handle it.

Big H fell silent.

[Arena] Polly: Are you a Honda fanboy?

The entire audience also fell silent.

Sometimes, the simplest sarcasm carries divine-level lethality—too blinding to behold.

[Arena] Big H: IT’S THE INITIALS OF MY SURNAME!! MY SURNAME!!

[Contestant] Kill Gods If They Block Me: Suddenly, the Vice Guild Leader seems so pitiful =_=

[Contestant] Greatsword: Proof that chronic chatterboxes need therapy.

[Contestant] Kill All Who Block Me: Guild Leader, you’re too cruel…

As it turned out, Greatsword knew his Vice Guild Leader well. A true chatterbox could recover from even the heaviest verbal blows after half a minute of silence, then burst back with enough energy to bend steel pipes with words.

[Arena] Big H: Where are you? Should I come find you?

[Arena] Polly: Let me come to you instead.

[Arena] Big H: My spot’s no good—dark and cold~~

[Arena] Polly: Oh, the Haunted House, then. On my way.

[Arena] Big H: …

[Arena] Big H: I protest! You’re cheating T_T

[Arena] Big H: Commentator! Did you see that?! He’s cheating!!

Brother Feifan hadn’t commentated in a while because the two contestants had been too busy chatting. Now, he found himself accidentally caught in the crossfire.

[System] Commentator: Well… cheating is hard to prove. Contestant Big H did drop some location hints…

(Internally, the diplomatic Brother Feifan was roaring: “IT’S A SUNNY, JOYFUL AMUSEMENT PARK! ‘DARK AND COLD AND SCARY’—ANYONE WITH AN IQ ABOVE 20 COULD GUESS IT WAS THE HAUNTED HOUSE!!”)

Big H couldn’t hear the commentator’s thoughts, so he kept complaining—but he wasn’t idle either. He bolted from the Haunted House and relocated beneath the pirate ship, hiding behind a popcorn vendor’s cart.

Polly, meanwhile, blended into the parade floats. As the saying goes, the most dangerous spot is the safest. Birdy-kun openly patrolled with the float procession, searching for his prey.

Halfway around the park, the two finally had their fated encounter!

They were barely a dozen meters apart. Polly lunged from the floats—but not fast enough. The Spirit Master’s Sleep hit first, locking the zombie in a 30-second stun.

[System] Commentator: The battle finally begins! The zombie’s off to a rough start. He’s fallen under the Sleep effect!

[System] Commentator: Sleep prevents attacks, but any damage will break it!

[System] Commentator: As expected, Big H is holding back and retreats to max range!

[System] Commentator: Sleep is about to wear off—Big H has started casting Ice Shatter!

[System] Commentator: Even with Magic Resistance, the zombie has lost a small chunk of HP!

[System] Commentator: The zombie has moved! But the distance is too great—Big H has casted Cactusfication!

Cactusfication: A Spirit Master skill that turns the target into a cactus for 30 seconds—immobile and unable to attack.

Birdy-kun obliged, immediately transforming into a towering cactus!

The Spirit Master calmly retreated another 20 meters to safety.

The cactus swayed gently in the breeze…

[Arena] Big H: You’ve got the mouth, but I’ve got the skills. Prepare to be slowly whittled to death! Hahaha!

[Arena] Polly: This isn’t a fair win.

[Arena] Big H: Blood Bull used One Cut Kill—why didn’t you complain then?!

[Arena] Polly: That’s our teammate.

[Arena] Big H: …

[System] Commentator: Meteor’s Spirit Master has admitted verbal defeat against Ghost Server’s zombie—yet he persists in taunting! Such admirable spirit!

[Spectator] Self-Supplied Rations: Is the commentator high-key trolling…?

Amid the chat spam, Cactusfication was about to wear off. Big H repeated his strategy—the moment the cactus reverted, Blizzard Gale slammed into Polly, carving off another chunk of HP!

Polly ignored it, charging forward—only to be Sleep-locked again.

[System] Commentator: Crowd control, damage, crowd control, damage—Ghost Server’s zombie is helpless! This match is going exactly as Meteor’s Spirit Master predicted. Even with Magic Resistance, death by a thousand cuts is inevitable…

[System] Commentator: Oh! Big H’s Cactusfication was resisted!

[System] Commentator: This is the zombie’s chance! Close the gap!

[System] Commentator: The zombie’s moving! He’s fast! He’s… running backward?!

[System] Commentator: HE’S RUNNING BACKWARD???

The commentator wasn’t hallucinating. Instead of closing in, Polly sprinted in the opposite direction!

Big H was baffled, but with his opponent down to a quarter HP, he couldn’t let this slide. He gave chase.

The audience watched, bewildered, as two figures weaved through the garish amusement park—a ranged class chasing a melee class, trying to maintain distance instead of closing it.

The crowd buzzed with theories until one surfaced:

[Spectator] God’s Right Hand: Did they…

[Spectator] Love Like the Ocean: Swap souls?

[Spectator] Outstanding Human: Technically, it’s called consciousness transfer.

Before the debate could conclude, Polly—passing the Ferris wheel—suddenly veered and leapt onto it! Under the crowd’s stunned gaze, he rose with the wheel, bringing an unexpected wholesome romance vibe to the PvP arena.

In the gentle breeze, the audience short-circuited:

[Spectator] West Wind Breaker: Holy shit, this took a hard left turn…

[Spectator] Dongfang Shuo: Is he planning a romantic Ferris wheel date with Big H?

[Spectator] Born in 1994: Pure love¹Mild no smut BL is out of style—go for hardcore H-scenes²Smut! That’s what Big H deserves~\(≧▽≦)/~

[Spectator] Love Like the Ocean: Ahem, restrain yourself. He said those were his initials.

[Spectator] Born in 1994: And you believe him?

[Spectator] West Wind Breaker: …

[Spectator] Dongfang Shuo: …

[Spectator] Love Like the Ocean: …

Meanwhile, Big H—his credibility in tatters—stood beneath the Ferris wheel, completely miserable.

Should he jump on? Then he and the zombie would be two cabins apart, and he would be unable to attack. And the zombie would land first, escaping again.

Not jump? Fine—his current choice. He stood at a 45-degree angle, watching Polly rise higher, farther, smaller… with melancholy radiance.

[System] Commentator: It seems the Spirit Master plans to attack when the zombie returns to the ground!

[System] Commentator: But besides buying time, what’s the zombie’s goal here?

[Arena] Big H: Get the FUCK DOWN HERE!

[Arena] Polly: Come up. The view’s nice.

[Arena] Big H: You’re shameless!

[Arena] Polly: To honor your critique, I’ll heal myself.

Polly answered the commentator’s question by spamming No Rest for the Dead—a zombie’s slow-but-steady self-heal.

Against a zombie’s HP pool, each heal was a drop in the bucket, but over time, it added up.

Big H lost his mind.

The audience gained enlightenment.

First match: sitting to regen MP.

Second match: Ferris wheel HP recovery.

This bastard just keeps upping the ante, doesn’t he?!

Suddenly, the entire arena vibrated with anticipation for the Ferris wheel’s full rotation. They needed to see Polly get brutally slaughtered—nothing less would satisfy their rage!

Even the slowest Ferris wheel eventually lets passengers off. The moment arrived—

Polly leaped early, landing right in front of Big H! The Spirit Master began casting, but spells take time—Polly clawed him first! Thankfully, Sleep landed in time, freezing the zombie (now at one-third HP) again…

[System] Commentator: The cycle resets! This time, the Spirit Master won’t let the zombie escape!

[System] Commentator: Crowd control! Damage! Crowd control! Damage!

[System] Commentator: The zombie is down to one-fifth HP!

[System] Commentator: One-sixth HP!

[System] Commentator: One-eighth HP!

[System] Commentator: The Spirit Master stopped attacking!

[System] Commentator: The Spirit Master stopped attacking??

[System] Commentator: HE’S OUT OF MP! At the brink of victory, the Spirit Master ran dry!

[System] Commentator: Spamming crowd control drained his MP! If he hadn’t been baited into waiting under the Ferris wheel, he might’ve remembered to regen MP!

[System] Commentator: But in competition, opportunities vanish in an instant! No second chances!

[System] Commentator: Cactusfication is gone! The zombie charges without hesitation!

[System] Commentator: A Spirit Master without MP is just a level 1 mob—the zombie is on him!

A melee brawl between a Spirit Master and a zombie? No contest.

Only after Big H fell did the commentator and sharp-eyed spectators realize—

[System] Commentator: Did the zombie deliberately avoid attacking earlier, predicting the MP drain?

[System] Commentator: Did he stall on the Ferris wheel to heal just enough to survive the final burst?

[System] Commentator: Regardless—Ghost Server Legion wins this round!

[Contestant] Leaves Fall on Chang’an: That strategy only works in theory…

[Contestant] Greatsword: If the zombie hadn’t Ferris-wheel healed, Big H could’ve killed him before running out of MP.

[Contestant] Leaves Fall on Chang’an: So it was all calculated?

[Contestant] Greatsword: Rumor has it, he was once North China’s PvP King.

As a new guild, Huaxia Dominion’s history was ancient lore to Meteor Blitz.

Amid the chatter, both contestants returned to the lounge.

The match was over, but unfinished business remained—

[Contestant] Big H: Zombie, did you plan to slow-grind me to death from the start, or was it a spur-of-the-moment idea?

(He’d tried to grind Polly down—only to be ground down himself. The audience sympathized with his frustration, pausing their spam to await the answer.)

The winner typed a considerate response:

[Contestant] Polly: Which answer would make you feel better?

[Contestant] Big H: That you thought of it mid-match.

[Contestant] Polly: Okay. Then I planned it before the match.

[Contestant] Big H: …

[Spectator] Against the Current: Instant KO.

[Spectator] Thunderstrike: Total annihilation.

[Spectator] Crazy Grilled Wings: One-hit obliteration.

[Spectator] Night Howl: [candle]

[Spectator] Wind Over Sand: [candle]

[Spectator] Flirty Babe: [candle]

[Spectator] Heaven’s Popcorn: [candle]

[Spectator] Young Marshal of the Northeast: [candle]

[Spectator] Young Madam of the Northeast: [candle]

[Spectator] One-Armed Blade: [candle]

[Spectator] Farewell My Concubine: [candle]

[Contestant] Big H: GUILD LEADERRRRRR~~~~=_= TAT

[Contestant] Greatsword: You asked for it.

[Contestant] Big H: HE’S TOO SNEAKY TAT

[Contestant] Polly: ^_^

[Contestant] Big H: DON’T SMILE AT ME!! I never want to run into you in-game again!!

[Contestant] Polly: There’s someone who isn’t afraid. He keeps charging into battle with me.

[Contestant] Big H: That guy’s either a MASOCHIST or destined for greatness =_=

[Contestant] Polly: That’s why he’s my Legion Commander now.

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  Mild no smut BL
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  Smut