Chapter 54 – Exchanging Name Cards

Saying they were going to fight was just a way to initiate a PK. Since both were male characters, it wasn’t clear who was bullying whom.

However, this balance only lasted for the first five seconds after the PK began.

Five seconds later, after 2B Fighter Jet landed his third rapid attack, Your Sister was knocked to the ground, and the PK ended.

[Local] 2B Fighter Jet: Why didn’t you fight back? What, going easy on me?

[Local] Drink Your Sister 3X: I didn’t even get a chance to strike! How are you so fast?!

[Local] 2B Fighter Jet: ……

[Local] 2B Fighter Jet: If you’re not fast in a PK, are you just waiting to get killed?

[Local] Drink Your Sister 3X: But you’re way too fast! That’s not fair—you must be cheating!

[Local] 2B Fighter Jet: Tch, you can insult my IQ, but you can’t insult my integrity!

[Local] Blood Bulls Don’t Graze: [Side-eye]

[Local] 2B Fighter Jet: Oh, sorry, sorry, I forgot. Uh, tch, take that back.

[Local] 2B Fighter Jet: You can insult my IQ, but you can’t insult my integrity!

[Local] Drink Your Sister 3X: No need to say it twice, I already know your IQ is worthless…

When a healer fights a Blood Warrior, it’s usually a drawn-out battle, and either side could win. But to an outsider, this didn’t look like a healer versus a Blood Warrior—it looked like a healer soloing a boss. A level 40 healer soloing a level 55 boss, at that.

[Local] Milk is Mom: Girl, have you never played games before?

[Local] Drink Your Sister 3X: How could that be? Back in my Audition Online days, I hit 220 BPM and nailed every combo, okay~~

Fang Zheng looked at the confident tildes and let out a soft sigh.

Good, very good. At least it proved she had decent hand speed.

[Local] Milk is Mom: 438, are you heading to the new map to gather later?

[Local] Refined Into a Demon 715: Yeah.

[Local] Milk is Mom: Then take Your Sister with you. Let her learn the terrain and fight some mobs or something.

[Local] Drink Your Sister 3X: 438? That nickname is so cute~

[Local] Refined Into a Demon 715: Hehe [shy]

[Local] Drink Your Sister 3X: Aaaaah, I can’t take it! Stick your face out and let me pinch it!

Great, these two were getting along just fine =_=

After sending off the newbie and the Demon Refiner, the rest scattered to explore the new maps for potential dungeons. While grinding mobs could level you up, dungeons were faster, and right after an update, any player with ambition would want to rush for a first clear and snag a World Announcement. Mobs? There’d be plenty of time to bond with them later.

Fang Zheng wandered around the North Sea for a bit. The open-world map where War Banner Legion had taken down the North Sea Siren was already packed with players. Unfortunately, despite six hours having passed since War Banner defeated the boss, the system still hadn’t respawned it.

But he did run into an acquaintance.

[Whisper] Big H: Here to camp the spawn too?

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: Just looking around. No point camping something someone else has already killed~~

[Whisper] Big H: Are you trying to pull aggro? =_=

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: [Flirty wink]

Apart from Meteor Blitz, Five Peaks Pavilion, Huaxia Dominion, and even War Banner Legion—who had already cleared it—had left people behind to guard the spot. Clearly, while everyone was searching for unknown bosses, they weren’t about to let known ones slip away.

Thinking this, Fang Zheng sent a whisper to Birdy—

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: The whole server’s camping the North Sea Siren. Should we join in?

The reply came quickly—

[Whisper] Polly: No need. We don’t know the boss’s respawn timer yet. Let them keep track for us.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: That’s so shameless…

[Whisper] Polly: Once we figure out the pattern, we can just show up at the right time later.

[Whisper] Milk is Mom: But it’s shameless in a way that totally matches my old style~\(≧▽≦)/~

Meng Chudong found himself unable to handle this emoji. Every time the healer used it, his heart itched, his hands itched, his whole body itched—he wished the guy were right in front of him so he could grab him and give him a good squeeze.

Little Bitch Fang… He suddenly understood the Assassin’s urge to tease.

Okay, he understood it very well.

Before, the lines between the virtual and real worlds had been clear-cut in Meng Chudong’s mind. In-game, you might be great teammates, but offline, you might not click at all. In-game, you might be lovey-dovey partners, but offline, you might just pass each other by. Since the relationship was built on the game, it should stay within the game. He never felt the need to step outside of it, and he didn’t have high hopes for those who tried to take game relationships into reality—whether same-sex or opposite-sex, whether friendship or romance.

But now, that line was blurring.

He didn’t know if this was good or bad, because life wasn’t a game—he couldn’t rely on experience and skill to predict or control it. Like that night at the movies: the film was only an hour and a half, but he’d spent half the night and still hadn’t finished it.

Novelty always had a fatal attraction for gamers. So much so that even Fang Zheng, who would never get out of bed before noon, miraculously opened his eyes at 10 a.m.

After a hasty face wash and tooth-brushing, he didn’t even eat before logging into the game, only to find the Deputy Commander’s ID already lit up in the Legion roster—

[Legion] Milk is Mom: Here?

[Legion] Polly: Yeah.

[Legion] Milk is Mom: Just got on too?

[Legion] Polly: Yeah.

[Legion] Milk is Mom: Seems we’re on the same wavelength~

[Legion] Polly: Yeah.

[Legion] Milk is Mom: The hell, is this QQ auto-reply or something?!

[Legion] Polly: Coords XX, Peach Flower Lake.

For most guilds, the Commander kept the Deputy in check. But here, the power dynamic had flipped completely. What a failure of a Commander he was, TAT

Though he wept internally, Birdy was no boy who cried wolf. If he sent coords, there was definitely something going on. So as Fang Zheng rushed over, he wondered if the guy had run into enemies and gotten ganked.

But when he arrived and took a closer look, there was no one around except Birdy—not even a crow.

This was a very secluded little village, located on the Anhui map. Fang Zheng had been here before while mining. Back then, it was no different from now—no NPCs, no mobs, a dead zone in the game. Just a deep lake and swaying grass by its edge.

Under the blue sky and white clouds, the Birdy in black and white sat by the lake, waving at him.

The upgraded game characters had a lot more emotes and animations. Though they served no practical purpose, playing around with them occasionally added a bit of life to things. So Fang Zheng waved back a couple of times.

As he moved Milk is Mom over to Birdy’s side, Fang Zheng also logged into YY—and sure enough, Birdy was there too.

His Deputy Commander was like an eternal flame, Fang Zheng thought.

“Why not go to the new maps to look for dungeons? What’s so interesting here?”

Polly: “Jump in and see.”

Fang Zheng: “That request feels a little… brutal…”

Birdy-kun said nothing else. He simply stood up and dove straight in.

The splash landed on the healer, and Fang Zheng sensed something unusual. He quickly followed suit, executing a flawless two-and-a-half somersault before plunging into the water.

Actually, Fang Zheng had jumped into this lake before. Like many players with nothing better to do—max level, tired of grinding, sick of dungeons—he’d resorted to sightseeing.

That was about a year ago. He’d stumbled upon this place and, on a whim, took a leap. Just like now, the water was a light green, not crystal clear but with a serene quality. The only downside was how shallow the lake was—before his breath timer was even half gone, he’d reached the bottom, a space no bigger than the set of Journey to the West’s underwater palace, completely exposed.

His memory wasn’t perfectly clear, but Fang Zheng was certain that back then, there hadn’t been this tombstone-like rock at the bottom.

Fang Zheng: “Is this a mechanism?”

Polly: “Double-click it.”

Fang Zheng: “It’s not going to spawn a monster, is it?”

Polly: “I’m here.”

Fang Zheng: “Babe, as a certified tough guy, hearing you say that doesn’t make me happy at all…”

Polly: “Oh, then don’t worry—you’re not alone.”

Fang Zheng: “……”

The Ghost Server Legion Leader’s negotiation with his Deputy ended with him giving up and obediently clicking the stone tablet.

[System] Li Bai boarded his boat, ready to depart,

When suddenly, singing was heard from the shore.

The Peach Flower Lake is a thousand fathoms deep,

But it cannot compare, O Wang Lun, with the depth of your love for me.

As the system message popped up, the bottom of the lake suddenly split open. The water swirled into a vortex, rushing violently into the fissure. Before Fang Zheng could react, Milk is Mom was already swallowed by the rapid current.

The screen was a mess of light green ripples, making it impossible to tell where the water ended and the characters began.

The whole thing lasted about ten seconds. When the ripples faded, the zombie and the healer had surfaced, their little heads bobbing not far apart in the water.

Birdy was the first to climb ashore.

Fang Zheng snapped out of it and hurried after him.

The Peach Flower Lake was gone. The two had come out of a small stream, facing a tranquil village where NPCs dressed in ancient clothing went about their business. The setting sun cast a faint glow over the houses and fields, like an ink-wash painting.

“HOLY SHIT—”

Well, there was always someone vulgar enough to ruin the mood.

“The devs are so shameless, even changing old maps! But no matter how much they change, they can’t escape Birdy’s eyes, hahaha~~~” Fang Zheng gloated as if he were the one called Birdy.

Meng Chudong didn’t respond, but the regulars at the internet café were blinded by the second boss’s gleaming white teeth.

Lu Yue walked over curiously, determined to figure out what had been causing his friend’s increasing number of “episodes” lately. This “episode” covered a wide range—staying up late and waking up early, glowing with happiness, smiling at people, etc. But after scrutinizing the screen for a while, the game was still just a game, and he couldn’t spot anything unusual.

The cheap headphones didn’t block sound, and Lu Yue could faintly hear someone speaking.

Then, he heard Meng Chudong say, “I just found it too, so I haven’t explored further.”

The other person seemed to say something else.

Meng Chudong replied, “You’re the Commander.”

The words themselves were ordinary, but the tone—where was the usual lethargic indifference? It was all sunshine and rainbows, damn it!

Lu Yue was so curious he was about to die. Without caring if it was appropriate, he yanked the headphones off Meng Chudong’s head and slapped them onto his own ears at lightning speed.

“Don’t be like that, babe~ Behind every successful Commander is a silently dedicated Deputy~~~”

The soul-stirring voice, delivered in undulating waves, drilled into Lu Yue’s ears.

A man who had never been flirted with by another man was stunned.

Meng Chudong frowned, snatched the headphones back, and put them on again, his tone flat. “Just lagged for a sec, didn’t catch that.”

Clearly, the person on the other end shamelessly repeated himself, because his buddy laughed again.

Lu Yue was about to mock him but froze.

Ever since Meng Chudong came out to his family and opened this shop with him, he hadn’t seen the guy genuinely smile in years. Even on good days, he’d at most curl his lips slightly. If something was hilarious, he’d hunch over the desk, shoulders shaking, but when he lifted his head again, it was back to the same deadpan expression. Over time, Lu Yue had almost forgotten this guy had two adorable little fangs. Back in school, they’d earned him no end of ridicule—baby face, girly, whatever. But the real reason was simple: they were chick magnets.

……

“I’ve covered half the village already, and all these people want to talk about is the weather or their harvests. Can’t I get at least one romantic conversation?!” Fang Zheng stopped clicking, deciding to give both Milk is Mom and himself a break.

The two had split up to explore the village—one took the east, the other the west. But the place was bigger than Fang Zheng expected, and after a long time, he still hadn’t covered it all. He did pick up a quest from one NPC, though—the man’s son had just given him a grandson, and he wanted the player to deliver red eggs to a few designated households. Since Fang Zheng had to talk to every NPC anyway, he accepted. After completing it, the NPC gave him a Name Change Scroll.

In the Item Mall, Name Change Scrolls were luxury items, even pricier than the Red Ribbon the client had tied back in the day. The ribbon had a time limit, but a name change could be permanent. So most consumers were players who’d bought accounts but couldn’t stand the existing ID, finally gritting their teeth and shelling out for a new one.

But the scroll the NPC gave Fang Zheng had an expiration—6 hours.

If you’re gonna give it, be generous. Why hand out a trial version? =_=

Fang Zheng complained to Birdy, but Birdy seemed intrigued. After asking where he got the quest, he went and did it himself.

Fang Zheng didn’t get it and waited where he was. A while later, when Birdy returned, he asked, “Done?”

Birdy didn’t respond. Three seconds later, the name above his head changed from “Polly” to “Meng Chudong.”

“What’s going on?” Fang Zheng was baffled. This wasn’t a game ID—it looked like a real name. And when he thought of real names, he thought of Little Bitch Fang, so he extrapolated, “A girl you have a crush on?”

“……”

For the first time ever, the Ghost Server Legion Leader had rendered his Deputy speechless.

Too bad the Commander didn’t notice and kept sharing his thoughts: “What a great name! It just screams ‘gentle and kind-hearted’!”

Meng Chudong sighed. “My mom picked it. I’ll pass on your thanks.”

“Oh, it’s your name,” Fang Zheng was embarrassed, but the sleazy playstyle wasn’t for nothing. In less than half a second, he recovered: “Actually, now that I think about it, it really suits your calm vibe. They say you can tell a person’s future at three—your mom saw yours at birth! She’s amazing!”

“…I’ll thank her again on your behalf.”

At this point, Fang Zheng had run out of ways to keep the conversation going, so he changed the subject—

“But why change your ID to your real name? Doesn’t it feel weird?”

“Try it and see.”

“……” The healer hesitated.

“It’s only six hours. Just for fun.”

“True.” But the zombie was too good at persuasion.

Three seconds later, the big boss of Overwinter Internet Café got another glimpse of the second boss’s fangs.

The receptionist came over to ask the big boss about work but was momentarily dazzled by the second boss’s smile.

Lu Yue teased, “Handsome, huh?”

The girl studied him for a while before whispering, “He is, but… why does he look like a fox who just stole a chicken?”