Chapter 98 – The Suspicious Legion Leader

“Ma Jianfeng.”

“Xiong Yun.”

“Fang Zheng.”

“Although we haven’t kowtowed to become sworn brothers, we’re all in the same boat now. Let’s look out for each other from now on.”

“That goes without saying.”

“Who wants the toy that came with this Happy Meal?”

“……”

In ancient times, there were the Three Heroes of the Peach Garden, who swore brotherhood. Today, the Three Knights of McDonald’s join forces for a grand cause.

Going into business together is no small matter. The specifics of the plan are secondary—what’s most important is whether the partners can get along. This compatibility isn’t about knowing each other’s family histories or having spent years together understanding and adapting to each other’s temperaments. It’s a subtle kind of chemistry. Often, you can tell whether you’ll click with someone after just a few words. That’s why there’s a saying: “like old friends at first sight.”

Of course, Fang Zheng and his two new partners hadn’t spent their past lives constantly looking back at each other, so he couldn’t honestly say they’d developed some involuntary, mutual admiration. But the three of them were no different from their in-game personas, paving a smooth road for blending into the real world.

By the time Xiong Yun had eaten and drunk his fill, their partnership had already evolved from polite small talk to slapping each other on the back. Only then did the three of them leave McDonald’s and hail a cab home.

The moment they stepped into the hallway, the wind that had been howling for so long finally unleashed a torrential downpour. In an instant, the entire world seemed to plunge into the depths of night. The already dimly lit corridor went pitch black, to the point where they couldn’t even see a hand in front of their faces.

Fifth Brother stomped his foot heroically: “Hah!”

Aside from a cloud of dust, not a single glimmer of light appeared.

Fang Zheng sighed and groped in the dark to pat the other man’s shoulder. “Did you really think this hallway would have motion-sensor lights?”

Fifth Brother was on the verge of tears: “Is that… too much to ask for?”

From the darkness came Diamond’s faint reply: “Not too much. Just naive.”

As the saying goes, the greater the expectations, the greater the disappointment. Conversely, if you came in with low expectations that only sank further into despair during the hallway trek, then when that door—like the final one in Bluebeard’s castle—slowly creaked open to reveal a bright, clean, and fragrant room, it was only natural for the newcomers to be stunned.

“Did you move in overnight…?” Diamond stood at the doorway, clutching his Dongbei migrant worker-style luggage, not daring to step inside.

Fifth Brother, however, marched right in. But amid his admiration, one thing puzzled him: “Why didn’t you turn off the lights when you left…?”

Are you kidding? On a day like this, with dark clouds pressing down on the city, if the lights had been off, how could they have achieved that eye-searing effect just now?!

The immense sense of accomplishment drowned out the slight sting of the electricity bill. The Legion Leader stood beside Diamond at the doorway, basking in the praise and joy brought by his hard work.

If, one day earlier, someone had told him the room could look like this, Fang Zheng wouldn’t have believed it either. But after being mercilessly roasted over the photos he’d sent, his fragile ego shattered, and the Legion Leader rallied. He somehow transformed his dump into a phoenix overnight, even making a trip to the flower-and-bird market in the morning to pick up a few delicate potted plants. While admiring his victory, he finally understood the resentful look his landlord gave him every quarter when collecting rent—”I should really charge you for the wear and tear on my property!”

In the end, Diamond Bear sorted his luggage at the doorway. Frequently used clothes went into the wardrobe, toiletries into the bathroom, and the remaining odds and ends that wouldn’t fit in the suitcase—along with the suitcase itself—were placed on the balcony. The woven plastic bag gave out during the move, so it ended up in the hallway, keeping company with the junk the Legion Leader had cleared out the day before but hadn’t yet thrown away.

Ma Jianfeng didn’t have as much stuff—just a travel bag and a laptop case. He settled in within minutes.

Fang Zheng had always thought his shabby little place was tiny. After cleaning up last night, he took another look and confirmed: yeah, it really was tiny. =_=

Forty-something square meters, minus the bathroom, balcony, and kitchen, leaving the rest divided into a bedroom and a living room. You can imagine the rest.

Now, with three grown men crammed into the living room, the couch could only fit two. The Legion Leader simply plopped down on the single bed: “Comrades, from now on, this is where we’ll live and fight!”

Diamond raised his hand and asked a pointed, serious question: “How are we sleeping?”

Without hesitation, the Legion Leader patted the single bed beneath him. “I’ll sleep here. You two take the bedroom.”

Fifth Brother glanced toward the bedroom. “There’s a bed in there?”

The Legion Leader smiled slowly, like a water lily blooming in the breeze. “Yep. A double bed.”

Fifth Brother shuddered and quickly averted his gaze from the Legion Leader’s intense stare, shaking off the goosebumps before turning to the second partner: “You’re into women, right?”

“All the people I’ve dated have been girls.”

Fifth Brother let out a long sigh of relief…

“But I think love is human nature. Just go with the flow—”

“Get lost! Laozi is sleeping in the living room!!!”

With Ma Jianfeng’s roar, the sleeping arrangements were settled.

The next steps required no discussion. The comrades-in-arms each sought out their computers, sitting or sprawling as they booted up.

Two minutes later—

Fifth Brother: “Healer, what’s your Wi-Fi network name?”

Fang Zheng: “How many networks do you see?”

Diamond: “Six. All with good signal.”

Fang Zheng: “Oh. None of those are mine.”

Fifth Brother & Diamond: “……”

Fang Zheng had prepared everything to welcome his new partners—except for the internet cables. He’d originally planned to brave the pouring rain to buy a couple of Ethernet cables, but Fifth Brother and Diamond each lifted their ultra-thin laptops—one metallic silver, the other wine-red—with melancholy expressions:

“Ultrabooks. No Ethernet ports…”

Damn it, did you two buy these in a group deal?!

Well, forget buying cables then. Fang Zheng called the internet provider directly to schedule a service change for the next day. Originally, the broadband was tied to a landline—he couldn’t remember the exact plan, but he’d signed up for it because it was cheap. The point was, you couldn’t just plug in a wireless router. If they wanted Wi-Fi, they’d need a different plan.

4 PM. Three partners. Two computers. What now?

Adhering to the principle of “if I can’t play, neither can you,” the poor Legion Leader was forced to shut down his desktop and go to bed with his partners.

Of course, Ma Jianfeng still used his physical advantage to claim the living room… and his chastity.

After the long journey, things like being unable to sleep in a new bed didn’t exist. Ma Jianfeng fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, and soon, his melodious snoring drifted into the bedroom…

Diamond: “That guy’s out.”

Fang Zheng: “Then maybe we should hit the bed too.”

Diamond: “That sounds suggestive.”

Fang Zheng: “Want something even more suggestive?”

Diamond: “I always thought you were only perverted in-game.”

Fang Zheng: “I’ve always been consistent inside and out.”

Diamond: “A lot of times, you want to be consistent but just don’t have the ability.”

Fang Zheng: “Example?”

Diamond: “Random surveys show that the fatter a guy is, the smaller his dick.”

Fang Zheng: “If we weigh them, mine’s two pounds heavier than yours.”

Diamond: “……”

Fang Zheng: “……”

Diamond: “Goodnight.”

Fang Zheng: “Sweet dreams.”

At this moment, the barrier between the second and third dimensions was officially broken. Perception and reality achieved perfect harmony.

“Sleep” was really just a nap. By around 8 PM, Fang Zheng woke up—only to find the other two had risen earlier and eaten everything edible (and inedible) in the fridge.

Looking at the mess of plates and cups on the living room table, Fang Zheng’s heart bled: “If you keep ransacking me like this, forget going into business together—I don’t think we’ll even last until the Wi-Fi gets installed.”

Fifth Brother rolled his eyes. “You’re so stingy. Later, we’ll hit the supermarket. Buy whatever you want—my treat!”

Fang Zheng’s heart healed instantly: “Then I’ll go make a list first.”

Fifth Brother: “Damn it!”

Outside, the rain had stopped. The clouds parted, revealing the moon’s shy face.

Fang Zheng didn’t actually make a list. Instead, he returned to the bedroom and sent Birdy a text:

[Power’s out. Can’t get online.]

This was the most foolproof excuse Fang Zheng could think of. Though a bit overused, it eliminated the risk of follow-up questions.

Sure enough, Birdy replied quickly:

[Oh.]

Including this latest one, Fang Zheng’s inbox now had exactly fifty “oh”s. If each text were a brick, he’d gladly stuff all fifty into a sack and smash it into that damn bird’s face!!!

His phone buzzed again—

[Get some sleep early.]

Fine. The brick thing could wait.

Fang Zheng hugged his phone, leaped onto the bed, rolled around wildly, and finally burrowed under the covers, giggling smugly to himself.

Fifth Brother walked into the bedroom and saw the wriggling lump under the blankets. He scolded, “At least close the door if you’re jerking off!”

Meng Chudong set his phone back on the desk but found he’d lost all interest in gaming.

Power outages in Fang Zheng’s apartment building weren’t news. Just this month, he’d encountered three. But every time, the guy would pester him out of sheer boredom—either texting terrible jokes or calling directly, all under the motto of “you have to suffer with me.” Though Meng Chudong complained outwardly, secretly, he loved it. He wouldn’t have minded if that rundown building lost power permanently.

But this time, after waiting over ten minutes, no further texts arrived.

That was worth pondering.

About an hour later, Meng Chudong sent a message himself:

[What are you up to?]

This time, the text sank like a stone.

……

It wasn’t Fang Zheng’s fault. When Meng Chudong’s text came in, he’d just left the supermarket with his two partners, arms loaded with shopping bags. The rustling of countless plastic bags easily drowned out the brief chime of the notification.

By the time they’d hauled everything home and stuffed the fridge, the two idle troublemakers asked if there were any fun places to go.

Fang Zheng had no idea. He was practically a homebody 365 days a year.

“Bar street. You must have one of those around here, right?”

Ma Jianfeng’s suggestion hit the mark. Thanks to Xu Di and Gou Xiaonian, Fang Zheng did know of such a street.

The night was long. No point in just thinking about it—action was better. Forty minutes later, the three arrived.

Neon signs—flashy, understated, tacky, or hipster—intersected to form a world that belonged solely to the night.

“This one looks good,” Fifth Brother said, pointing at a bar called “Hourglass.” Its sign was minimalist, without any gaudy frills.

“Yeah,” Fang Zheng agreed it looked nice, but, “It’s a gay bar.”

“What about this one?”

“Lesbian hotspot.”

“This?”

“Half and half.”

“Is there nowhere for straight men to go?!!”

Of course, there were normal bars. They were just mixed in, requiring careful identification.

In the end, the three entered one called “Sky Garden.” The bar was crowded, but the atmosphere wasn’t rowdy. Instead, it was relatively quiet, with small groups of friends chatting over drinks. On stage, a girl strummed a guitar, singing a beautiful but unfamiliar melody.

Fang Zheng had never been here before. He’d just heard the girl’s husky voice while passing by and, judging from the exterior and sign, concluded it was a place catering to the hipster crowd. Lonely urbanites loved spots like these for chance encounters leading to one-night-whatevers. As for gay bars, they preferred places where crowds ground against each other on the dance floor to deafening bass, eventually grinding their way straight into the bathroom. This place clearly didn’t fit the bill.

“Having fun” really just meant drinking and talking. At first, the three played drinking games, but eventually grew bored and simply started brainstorming about the future—how the company would start, what kind of office to rent, which brand of computers to buy, where to recruit underlings, etc. By the end, they were all a bit tipsy, and the boasting knew no bounds. They talked about monopolizing Huaxia’s private commerce, negotiating partnerships with telecom operators, Lamborghinis and Maseratis—basically, the future was a golden paradise.

Lost in his bullshitting, Fang Zheng was immersed in boundless happiness. This joy didn’t just come from rosy visions of the future, but also from the comfort of no longer being alone. These two were his friends, his partners, possibly even future brothers. This wasn’t the virtual world—it was reality. How wonderful.

Too focused to notice Gou Xiaonian, Fang Zheng didn’t see him hanging back in the shadows, listening.

But after listening for a long time, Gou Xiaonian still couldn’t piece the keywords into a coherent picture—War Banner, Summit Server, merchant legion, level 70, ruling the gaming world, going public… oh, and two unfamiliar men.

This was Fang Zheng’s world. Neither he nor Xu Di had ever truly understood it. That’s why he and Xu Di still kept in touch occasionally after breaking up, but with Fang Zheng, no formal goodbye had even been necessary.

A friend who’d just paid the bill came over and clapped Gou Xiaonian on the shoulder: “Let’s go. What are you spacing out for?”

Gou Xiaonian smiled, turned, and left with his friend.

2:30 AM. Bedroom.

After washing up and preparing to sleep, the Legion Leader finally discovered the “What are you up to?” text sent hours ago. He wanted to strangle himself… He was absolutely changing his text tone to the full version of Tan Te¹ (忐忑) A famous Chinese opera-esque performance with nonsense lyrics (just vocalizations, no real words) by the Chinese opera singer Gong Linna. Look it up; it’s both funny and impressive.!!! TAT

But what now?

Replying was out of the question—he couldn’t exactly say he’d been asleep and just sleepwalked into discovering the message, could he? =_=

In the end, the Legion Leader formulated two contingency plans:

1. If Birdy didn’t ask, all was well.

2. If Birdy asked, he’d insist he never received the text and hold his ground.

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  (忐忑) A famous Chinese opera-esque performance with nonsense lyrics (just vocalizations, no real words) by the Chinese opera singer Gong Linna. Look it up; it’s both funny and impressive.