Chapter 101 – Surviving the Meetup

Fang Zheng never imagined he’d see Jiang Yang a second time in his life, let alone sit down for a meal with him. But the truth was, they had met, they had eaten, and—most unbelievably—they’d even had a great conversation.

Who was that awkward, nervous, post-meetup-depressed fatty from over two months ago?

Who the hell remembers.

Because Fang Zheng treated Mad Lad and Fifth Brother with equal ease, the Legion Leader performed exceptionally well during the meal—devouring food and drink, feeling thoroughly relaxed. After a few cups of alcohol, he even blurted out that Fifth Brother and Diamond were living at his place.

Jiang Yang had originally been feeling a little down because Fang Zheng had moved on even more thoroughly than he’d expected. That’s just how people are—what comes easily isn’t cherished, but once it’s lost, the dissatisfaction sets in. His impulsive decision to divert his business trip back to this city was driven by the same mindset. Even though he knew Fang Zheng and Birdy were getting close in-game, who could say what their real-life situation was? These days, online relationships were easier than topping up a phone plan.

But who would’ve thought that, without even trying, he’d stumble upon even juicier news—Fang Zheng had invited Fifth Brother and Diamond over to start a business together! Now, Jiang Yang didn’t need to rack his brains for an excuse to stick around Fang Zheng without seeming suspicious. He could just head straight to the scene to witness the spectacle.

For the first half of the ride home, neither of them said much in the taxi.

Fang Zheng knew he was a little tipsy, so he kept the window open, hoping the evening breeze would blow away some of the alcohol fumes. Jiang Yang, on the other hand, finally calmed down enough to study the guy whose back of the head was facing him.

By the second half of the ride, Fang Zheng had sobered up enough to dive into the mandatory activity of any guys’ hangout—bullshitting. A business venture that hadn’t even taken shape yet was painted in grandiose strokes, and anyone who didn’t know better might’ve actually believed this guy was about to monopolize the power-leveling industry.

Jiang Yang endured it until Fang Zheng finally ran out of steam before asking the question that had been on his mind all evening: “Have you lost weight?”

Fang Zheng was overjoyed. “You noticed?”

“If you weren’t wearing this jacket, I would’ve noticed sooner.” Jiang Yang had originally resolved not to nitpick, wanting to leave their second meeting with good memories, but the sheer destructive power of this mustard-yellow jacket shattered his fragile resolve. “Did you just grab this blindly with your eyes closed before leaving the house?”

Fang Zheng disagreed. “Wait till we get home and I show you what I wore to pick up Fifth Brother and Diamond. Then you’ll realize how high-end and stylish this outfit is.”

Jiang Yang couldn’t imagine anything more brutal than a jacket with zero structure that somehow managed to perfectly accentuate a perfectly round body shape. Now, he was even more curious about the outfit Fang Zheng had worn to pick them up.

Alright, the clothing topic was temporarily tabled.

Next up: hair.

“Did you deliberately style it like this, or did you run into a tornado on the way here?”

“What do you know? This is called natural beauty~~~”

Fine. Shoes, then.

“Those Converse are supposed to be white, right? Conservatively speaking, they’ve been scrubbed at least three thousand eight hundred times.”

“I just love this vintage yellow-tinged white~~~”

What more could Jiang Yang say? That Fang Zheng hadn’t looked like this the first time they met, that his outfit that day had been much better-looking? He didn’t even need Fang Zheng to respond—just asking the question would’ve been lame.

The closer they got to home, the more Fang Zheng looked forward to it. By the time they entered the building, anticipation had turned into excitement. For one, he couldn’t wait to see the shocked expressions on Diamond and Fifth Brother’s faces. A comrade-in-arms they’d only ever heard online suddenly materializing in 3D right in front of them—that was bound to give them a scare. Secondly, his home hadn’t been this lively in years, and this liveliness wasn’t superficial. These friends, even if they were separated by network cables and fiber optics, were real, solid presences with genuine emotions between them.

Just as expected, Diamond and Fifth Brother were both in the living room, playing on their computers. The scene reminded Fang Zheng of All’s Well, Ends Well—specifically, the part where Maggie Cheung stands at Stephen Chow’s door and asks him, Are you surprised? Are you thrilled?

So Fang Zheng decided to reenact it.

But Diamond and Fifth Brother’s expressions weren’t much better than Stephen Chow’s.

And weirdly, they both turned their heads in the same direction.

Fang Zheng followed their gaze and, two seconds later, locked eyes with a third person in the living room.

Still holding a mouse, still facing the computer, but this time it wasn’t a profile shot. This time, those eyes were looking straight at him, sparkling like the brightest star in the night sky. And then, the star curved into a crescent moon, the faintest smile revealing a pair of fangs as lethal as a Berserker’s One Cut Kill—no, even deadlier, because this one had a 100% insta-kill rate.

“Very surprised. Extremely thrilled.”

In the final moments before he keeled over, Fang Zheng heard the other’s voice—not through YY, not over the phone, not separated by endless mountains and rivers. The guy was right there, sitting in his shabby living room like some god descending from the heavens, leaving Fang Zheng so overwhelmed he forgot to be happy, floating in a daze among the clouds…

“Do you think he understood what Polly meant?” Fifth Brother whispered to Diamond.

Diamond studied the ethereal pink bubbles floating around the Legion Leader and concluded, “I think he might not even have heard what Polly said.”

“Quite the lively gathering,” Jiang Yang chuckled, stepping past Fang Zheng to survey the room. “The Legion Leader said there were two comrades at home, but the numbers don’t add up.”

Ma Jianfeng, being the closest to Jiang Yang, was the first to stand and shake his hand. “Fifth Brother’s Trading Post.”

“Mad Lad.”

Xiong Yun also stood and approached. “Diamond.”

Jiang Yang didn’t need to reintroduce himself, so he switched to teasing instead: “You’re way prettier than a diamond.”

And then, there was just one person left.

From the moment he walked in, Jiang Yang had sensed that this guy’s gaze wasn’t exactly friendly. Not hostile, just cool, detached—but within that detachment was a hint of scrutiny and calculation that made him uncomfortable.

And now, the guy still hadn’t stood up. He just sat there, retracting the fangs that had nearly blinded the fatty beside him, his voice polite but indifferent. “Polly.”

Jiang Yang froze for a second at the name, then noticed the backpack at the guy’s feet, the fact that Diamond and Fifth Brother were in loungewear while he was still in outdoor clothes, and quickly pieced it together.

There was no way Fang Zheng’s brain would’ve somehow miscounted three people in his own home as two, so clearly, this was another case of someone trying to orchestrate a surprise—just like Jiang Yang had done before.

The only question was how big the gap between the photo and reality was, and whether Birdy was now satisfied or just putting on a brave face.

The slightly mean-spirited thought flashed through Jiang Yang’s mind, making him feel a little dark. Guilt and self-reproach crept in, and he instinctively glanced at Fang Zheng—only to find Fang Zheng already looking back at him. The fatty’s small eyes in his round face were full of sorrow, as if he might burst into tears at any moment.

Jiang Yang’s scalp tingled. He was about to ask, “What’s wrong with you?” when Fang Zheng spoke first—so softly that Jiang Yang only caught the overwhelming despair in his tone. He had to lean in and whisper, “What did you say?”

Finally, he made out the faint, trembling words:

“Is the jacket really that ugly…?”

Jiang Yang sighed and gave a small nod.

“What about the hair…?”

Jiang Yang closed his eyes in pain and nodded again.

“The shoes…?”

Jiang Yang silently turned his face away.

The crushing weight of misery finally yanked the Legion Leader out of his love-drunk bubble and back down to earth—or rather, face-first onto the pavement.

What the hell is this?! A life-or-death surprise?! No one told me today was Boyfriend First-Meet Day!!! I have so many other outfits—slimming, fashionable, non-death-metal-looking ones!!! Everyone else was personally sculpted by Nuwa herself, while I was clearly a free gift with a phone plan, that’s the only explanation!!!

Just let me die already TAT

Fifth Brother sighed and leaned toward Diamond. “He finally snapped out of it.”

Diamond observed the tiny angels frantically tugging at the Legion Leader’s hair and concluded, “I think he might’ve missed the point…”

If Polly had still been agonizing over whether to start carving up the fatty’s stomach or butt first, he had now abandoned his murderous intent and achieved enlightenment. Except this was the kind of enlightenment that led to a rakish monk contemplating whether to kiss the Legion Leader’s cheek or lips first once they were alone.

“You look fine,” Meng Chudong said, though he hadn’t intended to smile—his lips just refused to obey. “Don’t cry.”

Fang Zheng was mortified. “Which eye of yours sees me crying?!”

“My mind’s eye.”

“…”

Yes, his boyfriend was a mastermind with tricks up his sleeve and invisible surveillance cameras planted all over the world. TAT

“I really didn’t know you were coming.”

“I believe you.”

“I really do have better-looking clothes than this! How about you clear your cache, pretend you never saw me, and I’ll dash back to my room and change into something handsome? Super quick!”

“Handsome?”

“… Relatively speaking.”

Fifth Brother and Diamond exchanged glances, both recalling the Diaoyu Islands T-shirt from that day, and finally understood their true standing in the Legion Leader’s heart.

Normally, bystanders shouldn’t gawk at a couple’s flirting, but the living room was so tiny that squeezing five grown men into it made the density rival Beijing’s subway at rush hour. Seeing the two about to escalate, Diamond—ever the thoughtful one—offered a pragmatic suggestion:

“So, do you want us to go out for a walk, or do you two want to find a scenic spot to… get to know each other better?”

Honestly, ever since seeing Polly, Fang Zheng had been too happy to think straight—even his nervousness was just a variation of happiness, his mind filled with nothing but the blare of gongs and drums and fireworks. He hadn’t even considered holding hands, and now they were being nudged toward getting a room. He stood there, not just blushing but turning entirely red—if some shameless soul dared to strip him naked now, they’d find a human-shaped bottle of ketchup.

Meng Chudong really wanted to be that shameless soul—if not for the even more shameless eyes surrounding them.

“It’s past six,” the Deputy Leader suddenly said, pulling out his phone and flashing the time on his lockscreen. “Didn’t we agree to gather at seven to continue farming the Central Plains map…?”

“Shit!” Fifth Brother slapped his thigh. “We did!”

Jiang Yang was baffled. “What map?”

Diamond: “The level 70 quest map. Didn’t know about it, huh? Serves you right for skipping out!”

Jiang Yang: “The level 70 quest is out?!”

Diamond: “Not yet, but we’ve narrowed down the general area, so we’re doing a grid search~~”

Jiang Yang: “Damn it, I don’t have Huaxia on my work laptop!”

Fifth Brother: “Then you’re screwed. With this crappy internet speed, you’ll be downloading it till the next life.”

Meng Chudong: “I have it on my laptop, but I can’t log in.”

Diamond: “Connected to the internet?”

Meng Chudong: “I was playing Landlord just fine.”

Diamond: “…”

Once upon a time, Fang Zheng had stumbled across a discussion thread in a gay forum titled What to Do When Meeting Your Online Boyfriend for the First Time. The replies were all over the place—there were the bold ones (“Hotel, now!”), the romantic ones (“Take a walk in the park”), the pervy ones (“Watch a movie and grope each other in the dark”), and the serious ones (“Have a heart-to-heart to get to know each other IRL”). Fang Zheng had always considered himself somewhere between romantic and pervy, but today, harsh reality informed him—

Kid, you belong to the “Let’s go to an internet café and farm maps together (⊙o⊙)” idiot faction.

The five men filed out one by one. The hallway of the apartment building was narrow, with Fifth Brother leading the way, followed by Diamond, Jiang Yang, and Meng Chudong. Fang Zheng stayed behind to lock the door, but for some reason, the lock was being stubborn today—the key kept getting stuck, refusing to turn no matter how much he fiddled. Just as he was about to break into a sweat, a hand reached from behind, smacked his paw away, pulled the key out slightly, and turned it to the right. Click!

Fang Zheng turned around and stared at Meng Chudong in despair. “Is there anything you don’t know…?”

Meng Chudong nodded. “I didn’t know you liked mustard yellow.”

Fang Zheng wanted to cry. “Can we not bring that up again…?”

“I also didn’t know you were this popular.”

“…”

The hallway was dim, but Meng Chudong’s eyes were bright.

Fang Zheng met his gaze silently, and after a long moment, realized the other wasn’t joking.

This was serious. He quickly raised his hand in surrender. “I have zero involvement with them! It’s purely comrade-in-arms camaraderie!”

Meng Chudong’s lips curled slightly. “I’m angry.”

Fang Zheng panicked. “What—look at me! With this face, this vibe—even if I wanted to cheat, who would—”

His words were cut off.

The kiss came out of nowhere and ended just as abruptly, like a drop of water under the scorching sun—gone the moment it touched the ground.

Meng Chudong stood there as if nothing had happened.

Dazed, Fang Zheng touched his lips. They still felt dry.

Then he heard Meng Chudong cheerfully declare, “Not angry anymore.”