Chapter 130 – The Son-in-Law Dungeon (Part 1)

The first strike missed, but the Legion Leader’s father didn’t press the attack. Instead, he stood tall with the broom in hand, glaring down at the intruder from above. The effort to suppress his emotions made his chest heave violently.

Meng Chudong instinctively turned to look at Fang Zheng beside him, his brows furrowing slightly—a silent message: What did I tell you? You asked for this.

Receiving the telepathic signal, Fang Zheng blinked pitifully: Sorry >_<

Meng Chudong narrowed his eyes as a terrible realization slowly dawned on him.

Sure enough, after his pitiful display, his partner suddenly wiggled his eyebrows flirtatiously: Go for it, my love!

Meng Chudong silently, silently, averted his gaze.

He knew he had arrived at the most critical crossroads of his life. Taking a step forward meant getting smacked by his future father-in-law’s broom straight to Pluto. Taking a step back meant being flattened into a pancake by his aggrieved partner. Standing still and hesitating felt just as dangerous, as if his future mother-in-law had hidden countless concealed arrows, waiting to ambush him from the side.

Since I’m already here, I might as well accept my fate. If I die, I die!

Steeling himself, Meng Chudong suddenly looked up, meeting the tiger-like glare of his future father-in-law. Drawing a deep breath, he bellowed, “Uncle, hello! I’m your son—”

His declaration of identity was strangled in its cradle.

To be precise, he didn’t even get to finish the word before his future father-in-law swung the broom at him again with devastating force!

Birdy’s back was already pressed against the security door of the opposite apartment—nowhere left to retreat. But having been caught off guard once, he was prepared this time. Instead of retreating, he lunged forward, dodging the broom head while raising his arm to block the shaft!

The impact wasn’t light, sending a numbing shock through his forearm.

But the Legion Leader’s father hadn’t expected his opponent to suddenly close the distance. When his attack was blocked, he instinctively looked down—only to find himself face-to-face with his future son-in-law. The “enemy’s” features suddenly magnified in his vision, so close that he could see his own ferocious reflection in them. For a brief moment, Old Man Fang froze.

Seizing the opportunity, Meng Chudong was about to disarm his opponent, thinking that without his weapon, they could finally sit down and talk properly. But just then, Fang Zheng, distressed at seeing him get hit, suddenly shouted, “Dad! Stop it! What’s wrong with you?!”

Not to be outdone, the Legion Leader’s mother chimed in, “That’s right, let’s talk this out properly.”

If his hands hadn’t been occupied blocking the broom, Meng Chudong would’ve facepalmed. This wasn’t a two-on-two—it was a one-against-three! This family was clearly determined to destroy him no matter what! TAT

Sure enough, under the joint “reminder” from his son and wife, Old Man Fang snapped out of his daze. With a forceful yank, he pulled the broom back and raised it high—clearly gearing up for a third strike!

In terms of raw strength, Meng Chudong was no match for Old Man Fang. His only chance was to outsmart him. But now, his own side’s IQ had been dragged into the negatives by his dear partner. Gritting his teeth, he braced himself to endure the next hit.

Just as the broom was about to come down, the Legion Leader’s mother suddenly spoke up at this critical moment: “Fang Liangang! Is this how you treat a guest in our home? Hitting people as soon as they walk in?”

So his future father-in-law’s name is Fang Liangang! Someone save me! I have a feeling I’m absolutely going to die here! TAT

“So what?! I’m teaching him a lesson on behalf of his parents!”

“Oh.”

That’s it? Just an “oh”? Are you even trying to save me? Or did you just say something because you had nothing better to do? TAT

The wind from the broom coming down was already ruffling his hair.

Meng Chudong instinctively closed his eyes, resigning himself to his cruel fate.

But the expected brutal strike never came. When he opened his eyes, he saw Fang Zheng clinging to his father’s arm, the broom now trapped against his chest! Though Princess Fluffy’s bosom was ample, his chubby cheeks were still squished out of shape by the broom head!

Meng Chudong’s heart ached. He was about to step forward when Fang Zheng suddenly shouted, “Run inside! Get inside the house!!”

Though he didn’t understand the reasoning and though he knew that listening to his boyfriend usually led to disaster nine times out of ten, there was no time to think. In one swift motion, Meng Chudong ducked under Fang Liangang’s arm, dashed inside without even taking off his shoes, and bolted straight into the apartment!

Meng Chudong assumed Fang Zheng wanted him to find a bedroom, lock himself in, and buy time for negotiations. So as soon as he was inside, he immediately began searching for a bedroom!

Unfortunately, his boyfriend’s home had an unusual layout. The first door he opened led to the kitchen!

No time to lament. Meng Chudong sprinted across the living room to the opposite side and opened another door—only to find the bathroom!

That left only the sliding door next to the kitchen, which didn’t look like it led to a bedroom at all.

But since the kitchen and bathroom had already revealed themselves, this had to be it! Just as he was about to yank it open, a voice drifted eerily from behind him—

“What are you looking for?”

Meng Chudong froze. The voice didn’t belong to Fang Zheng, Fang Liangang, or Mother Fang—it was a boy’s voice, still tinged with childishness. He spun around.

And then, he saw six pairs of eyes.

Those six pairs of eyes belonged to six people of varying ages, seated around a large round table. The table was positioned in the depths of the living room near the floor-to-ceiling window, which reflected the dishes and bowls spread across its surface.

[Just so you know, besides my dad and mom, you’ll probably also see my grandma and my two aunts’ families. Since our place is pretty big, we usually gather here for New Year’s Eve…]

His boyfriend’s words led to disaster nine times out of ten—but the one time they were trustworthy, he’d forgotten them. TAT

As an unannounced stranger who had suddenly burst in, the Deputy Commander felt a hint of awkwardness. So much so that he completely forgot his original purpose for running inside. Driven by ingrained politeness, he walked over, forcing a stiff smile. “Hi.”

At the table sat one elderly woman, one child, and four middle-aged adults. The elderly woman squinted kindly, smiling warmly. The child stared wide-eyed, full of innocent curiosity. The four adults—two slightly older, two slightly younger—returned his greeting with equally awkward smiles. “Hi…”

And then, silence.

Meng Chudong had no idea what to say. The Legion Leader’s relatives, on the other hand, had so much to say that they didn’t know where to begin. They resorted to telepathic communication instead—

Aunt #1: What did I just hear? He said he was my older brother’s son?! A secret love child?!

Aunt #1’s Husband: No way, Sister-in-law would’ve gone insane by now…

Aunt #2: Look at how fiercely Big Brother charged out—he must’ve cut him off mid-sentence.

Aunt #1: I definitely heard it right! Besides, what else could follow “I’m your son”?!

Aunt #2: “I’m your son’s… partner”?

Aunt #1’s Husband: That makes sense!

Aunt #1: Oh right, I forgot—Little Zheng is… that kind…

Aunt #2: Sister, it’s not a big deal these days. Don’t make a fuss.

Aunt #2’s Husband: Fang, even though we’re in a second marriage, we’ve been officially married for over half a year now. If your family has this kind of secret history, you should’ve told me! I’m shocked… TAT

Aunt #2: You never asked →_→

Aunt #2’s Husband: Who the hell asks during a blind date, “Hey, is your nephew gay?!”

Aunt #2’s Husband: All you told me was that he had a falling out with the family and ran away from home!

Aunt #2: Fine, fine, my bad.

Aunt #2’s Husband: But I’ve seen photos of your nephew. It’s kind of amazing he managed to land such a decent-looking boyfriend.

Aunt #2: Bastard, don’t expect to see the sun next year…

Meng Chudong had no idea what kind of telepathic conversation was happening at the table, but judging by how everyone’s eyeballs were practically spinning, it must’ve been intense.

His boyfriend’s family was still entangled at the doorway. If he didn’t seize this chance to win over the crowd, he might never get another opportunity. With that in mind, the mighty Deputy Commander shook off his awkwardness, pretending he’d been invited over. Taking a deep breath, he put on the smile of a model youth and targeted the kindest-looking elder first. “Grandma, hello—”

Considering her age and possible hearing loss, Meng Chudong thoughtfully raised his volume slightly.

Grandma, who had already been smiling with her eyes crinkled, now beamed even wider, her eyes disappearing into happy slits. “Good, good—” she said, wobbling to her feet and pulling Meng Chudong closer with trembling hands. “It’s good you’re back, it’s good you’re back… Look how thin you’ve gotten out there…”

Meng Chudong’s soul trembled. Had he and the Legion Leader really grown so similar in appearance that even their faces were interchangeable now? TAT

In reality, the old lady’s eyesight was failing, and her mind wasn’t as sharp as it used to be. But no one could say that to her face—so the guest would have to suffer in silence. The Fang family collectively lit a metaphorical candle for the Deputy Commander.

By now, Meng Chudong had been forcibly seated in an empty chair, half of his body enveloped in the old lady’s embrace. Though her eyesight was poor, her grip was strong. Every attempt to sit up straight ended in failure.

“Grandma!” The boy who had asked Meng Chudong what he was looking for earlier finally snapped out of his daze and delivered the fatal blow. “That’s not Big Brother Zheng!”

Meng Chudong sighed internally, thinking he’d finally be freed—only to be pulled even tighter into the embrace. Not just hugged, but gently rocked like a child. “Don’t talk nonsense! Your big brother has suffered so much outside, he’s gotten so thin… My poor, sweet grandson…”

Being pulled sideways into an awkward half-hug was an uncomfortable position.

Yet, strangely, Meng Chudong suddenly didn’t mind.

In fact, the gentle rocking slowly warmed his body, which had been chilled with tension.

By the time the three members of the Legion Leader’s family returned to the living room after their scuffle, this was the scene they found: their son’s boyfriend being cradled by their son’s grandmother, while their son’s aunts and their spouses continued eating, watching the Spring Festival Gala, and occasionally even serving food to their son’s boyfriend.

Fang Liangang had a faint scratch on his face, broom still in hand, completely petrified.

Mother Fang was unharmed, raising an eyebrow.

Their son, Fang Zheng, sported a bird’s nest hairdo and a torn winter coat with a tuft of white fluff peeking out from the ripped pocket. “What’s going on?”

The Deputy Commander had given up on explanations. All he wanted to know now was whose chair he was sitting in. If it belonged to Fang Liangang, he’d abandon all resistance and jump out the window to end his misery.

“Why are you holding a broom in the middle of dinner?! How unsanitary!”

Mom, I was disciplining an unfilial son…

“Shuxian, you too! He might not know better, but you should! Firecrackers are supposed to be set off before dinner! Did you forget again?”

Mom, I wasn’t outside setting off firecrackers…

“Sit down and eat already! Do I have to drag you here?! Huh? Why is there only one chair left?”

Mom, do you realize you’re hugging a complete stranger?!

“What are you standing around for?! Go get another chair! It’s New Year’s Eve—are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”

Mom, your eyes and mind might be failing, but your body is still in top shape!

As a junior, even the normally domineering Fang Liangang had no choice but to obey silently. He went to fetch another chair—though his mother had asked for one, he brought two.

Finally, all ten of them were seated around the table.

Birdy was still being hugged. Fang Zheng sat beside him, while Mother Fang, Liu Shuxian, sat next to her son. Fang Liangang sat beside his wife, with his brother-in-law on his other side. The brother-in-law discreetly clinked his glass against Fang Liangang’s before downing his drink in one gulp.

Big Brother, you’ve suffered.

No words were needed. Fang Liangang also drained his glass in one go, feeling warmth spread through his stomach. TAT

Fang Zheng had told Birdy to run inside because he thought his father wouldn’t dare act too rashly in front of so many relatives—especially with Grandma around. But he hadn’t expected Grandma to deliver a one-hit KO, rendering the entire audience unnecessary.

…Grandma, your actual grandson is right here. =_=

As if hearing her son’s silent plea, Mother Fang suddenly called out sweetly, “Mom~”

Grandma’s hearing was the one thing that hadn’t aged. She looked up immediately. “What is it?”

The matriarch gently patted her son’s shoulder and asked, “Who do you think this is?”

Grandma scrutinized Fang Zheng up and down several times. “Who is this?”

It’s your grandson, and he’s about to cough up blood from frustration!

Fang Zheng was on the verge of tears, belatedly realizing the sinister undertones of his mother’s question.

Liu Shuxian smiled sweetly and gave Fang Zheng another pat. “Mom, this is your precious grandson.”

“Nonsense! Don’t think you can fool me just because I’m old!” Grandma refused outright, completely forgetting she’d just been cuddling the much slimmer Birdy. She began gesturing wildly. “My precious grandson is way chubbier than this! His face is this big! His waist is this thick…”

Grandma, what you’re describing is a thousand-year-old tree. =_=

The Legion Leader was devastated. But the Deputy Commander, now freed by Grandma’s arm-waving, finally straightened his aching back.

The empty bowl in front of him was already piled high with food served by the Fang family. Taking two seconds to reflect on his life, Meng Chudong decided to heed the call of his soul—Pick up your spear and fight, young man!—and began eating with the chopsticks that represented his HP and MP.