DMHS 42

“I don’t. I don’t hate Kian.”

“You will only know after time passes.”

The man shrugged his shoulders and waved his hand.

“Go.”

Splash.

Lucien returned to reality.

Splash, splash, splash.

The bathwater was overflowing in proportion to his grown body.

Lucien stood up. He wiped himself with a towel and put on the gown hanging on the door.

“Ha…”

He sighed in a low voice. The silhouette in the fogged bathroom mirror looked completely different.

When he went outside, Kian, who had finished showering first, was sitting on the bed. Lucien stood in front of him.

But Kian, lost in thought, did not raise his eyes.

Throb.

Lucien felt pain in his chest.

‘Again…’

Since realizing his feelings, he sometimes felt pain in his chest when looking at Kian.

It was not that he had come to dislike Kian. As time passed, his feelings only grew larger, never smaller.

When he saw him he smiled. When their eyes met he felt ecstasy. When Kian treated him with kindness, his chest swelled as if he possessed the whole world.

It did not matter that Kian’s feelings were not the same as his. His plea for Kian to stay by his side was sincere. He wanted nothing else.

…Or so he thought.

‘I want him to look at me.’

Lucien’s attention was fixed on Kian all day. Like a flower opening its bud toward the sun, whenever he came to his senses his gaze always ended on Kian.

But for Kian there were many things more important than Lucien. He took care of the party, moved through the ruined city, even saved the bandits who had attacked him.

‘I wish he would like me even just a little more.’

The sudden thought made Lucien mock himself.

After begging just to have him by his side, to demand even his heart was going too far. He was being greedy.

‘As long as I can stay with him, nothing else matters.’

Lucien pulled himself together and knelt down. Only then did Kian notice him and open his eyes wide.

“When did you come out?”

“Just now.”

Quite some time had passed, but he lied.

Lucien crawled on his knees and sat between Kian’s legs. He lowered his upper body and pressed his cheek against Kian’s knee, pouting without reason.

“I came out and you did not even look at me.”

“Forgive me. I was lost in thought.”

“Were you thinking of me?”

“That is not it.”

“In times like this, you say it is even if it is not.”

Kian laughed. Even without seeing, Lucien could easily picture his expression.

‘He must have closed his lips and smiled.’

He liked that face, the face that smiled helplessly as if he was looking at an incorrigible child.

“Yes. I was thinking about you, Lord Lucien.”

He liked even more that a little bit of whining always made Kian give in with kindness.

“What kind of thought?”

“Lately your body has not grown, but I wondered about today.”

“And now that you see?”

“Are you sure it cannot be controlled by will?”

Lucien laughed at Kian’s complaint, which he found cute.

He had never told Kian that whenever his body grew he saw another dimension, so Kian thought it was some strange whim of his body.

Lucien stood with a smile on his lips.

“I am sure.”

Lucien brushed his dark black hair aside and kissed Kian’s cheek. He did it without any sexual implication.

His partner was always endearingly awkward when a kiss started suddenly. His neck and shoulders stiffened and he had turned into a block of wood.

But if Lucien scattered kisses over his face and distracted him, he would, before realizing it, go along smoothly like someone caught up in an accident.

Today was the same. After pecking along his jawline, Lucien licked his red lips. Kian’s lips trembled, then parted without resistance.

With a small effort Lucien gained a great result. He cupped the back of Kian’s head and deepened the union of their lips. He wrapped around Kian’s tongue and sucked it, and the pooled saliva overflowed into his mouth.

‘It is not sugar water…’

Even his mate’s spit was sweet. It was so sweet he could not think straight.

‘The fluid dripping below must be sweet too.’

Lucien imagined Kian beneath him, crying as he climaxed.

His neat eyes would be dyed red with pleasure. His whole body would be covered with the marks Lucien left. The face he would make when he cried out as he went over…

Just imagining it made his head feel like it would explode.

“Haa…”

Lucien drowned himself in the kiss to push the thoughts away.

But Kian seemed to lose focus. His rough breathing grew calmer as time passed. Even while their lips were together, it was clear his mind was elsewhere.

Lucien felt something strange and pulled away.

As expected, lying on the bed, Kian’s eyes were not dazed but shining even more clearly than in the day. Kian met his gaze and spoke.

“This will not do.”

The words Lucien had expected came out.

Lucien knew him well. He had known this would happen ever since the evening, when Kian saw the girl who brought their food.

Even so, Lucien was hurt.

‘If only…’

He wished Kian would not care about such things. Like stones kicked on the road, whether they rolled into a stream or broke apart and disappeared, he wished Kian would not give them any attention.

Whenever Kian did this, Lucien felt like he was being doused with cold water.

He knew Kian’s heart was not the same as his… but having it confirmed in real time was a different matter.

Fortunately, unlike his emotions swinging up and down, his reason was still intact.

‘But I should tell him to go.’

“Can you not go?”

…His reason was not intact.

Kian looked up at Lucien with a startled face. Since he had already spoken, Lucien rubbed his face with his hands and added more words.

“There are many unfortunate people in the world. Anyone can get caught up in something bad at any time. But you cannot save them all. Unless you were a god, no, even for a god that would be impossible.”

It might have sounded abrupt, but Kian seemed to have thought the same. He lowered his eyes and nodded.

“I know.”

“Helping that girl will not change anything. Wiping out these thieves will not either. The tide of the era is already leaning. I am sorry, but I do not even know how long the kingdom will last. It would not be strange if it collapsed any day now.”

“I know that as well.”

“Even so, do you have to help the girl? Because that is your ‘duty’? If that is so, I will remind you of another duty. You are my mate.”

“……”

“As my mate, you have the duty to stay by my side.”

Lucien insisted on his last words. Kian still kept his gaze lowered and did not answer.

“……”

“……”

A suffocating silence flowed.

The one who broke the long silence was Kian. His voice carried lonely resignation.

“I did not think of today’s matter as a duty. As you said, I do not intend to save all the kingdom’s people. It is just…”

“Just?”

Kian hesitated for a long time, then turned his words.

“…Nothing.”

Kian’s mouth closed stubbornly. From experience, Lucien knew he could not get a proper answer when Kian was like this.

Lucien moved to the table beside the bed and sat down. He crossed his legs and tilted the teapot.

“Go.”

“……”

“Go before I change my mind. Go deal with that damned question mark or whatever it is.”

“…I am sorry.”

Kian rose from the bed and changed his clothes.

Lucien deliberately did not look his way. While he sipped the tea he had poured into the cup, he heard the sound of the window opening and closing.

When he raised his head, Kian was gone. Lucien was left alone in the room.

“Damn it.”

Lucien ruffled his hair roughly with his hand. His mood was in shambles.

***

Kian jumped from the third-floor window. He landed on the dried lawn that had not been tended and ran toward where he felt the girl, Mila’s, presence.

Mila’s lodging was a fair distance from the mansion.

Perhaps fearing the captured slaves would run away, the place Kian reached was a building in the middle of the village. From the stacked bricks it seemed it had once been used as an official office.

Kian brushed back his bangs.

‘Is he alright?’

Lucien had been in a good mood all day thinking about kissing him. He had even pushed Frederick to find a village, insisting that they must sleep under a roof tonight.

Yet Kian had left him behind.

‘He must be upset.’

Kian was not in a pleasant mood either.

But he had no other choice. After seeing the girl dragged in by the thieves, he could not just pretend not to know.

Kian swallowed a sigh and closed his eyes. From his body, a dense field of mana spread outward.

‘Here it is.’

Earlier Kian had left a mark on the back of Mila’s hand. Now Mila was in the first-floor end room of the building.

‘Two men at both entrances.’

After confirming the guards positions, Kian’s body disappeared into the night’s darkness. Black smoke skimmed the ground, and then one of the men standing at the entrance collapsed.

Kian appeared again and propped the falling man’s body against the wall. Then he went straight into the building.

Knock, knock, knock.

Kian knocked on the door of the room where Mila was. Without even asking who it was, the door opened.

Mila, wearing shabby pajamas, saw Kian in the hallway and was startled.

“I will come in for just a moment.”

Kian entered Mila’s room.

The only thing lighting the dark room was a candle on the window sill. It looked like she had been reading by it, because an open book lay there.

Standing against the door, Kian went straight to the point.

“I will help you escape.”