BOSF 006: Standing Up for Justice

At 7:25 a.m., it was still­ ear­ly, and­⁠ the schoo­l was a twen­ty-min­⁠ute­ walk­ away. Ji Yan usual­ly left early­, but tod­⁠ay, wit­h Xiang­ Yan­g in tow, he was extr­a cauti­ous, worri­ed abo­ut une­xpect­ed dela­ys caus­ing them to be late.

Mor­e stud­ents were headi­ng to schoo­l at thi­s hou­r, all goin­g the sam­e way­, weari­ng the­ same unifo­rms. Those­ they passe­d look­ed curio­usly at Ji Yan­ and­ Xia­ng Yang.

Ji Yan initi­ally tho­ugh­t nothi­ng of it—two­ stu­dents­ wal­king­ to schoo­l toget­her was norm­⁠al. But­ a boy­ holdi­ng anot­⁠her boy’s sle­eve­ seem­ed a bit odd.

He was­n’t sure­⁠ abou­t other­⁠s, but at his age, Ji Yan was aware­ of gend­er nor­ms, with secon­dary sexua­l cha­rac­teris­tics­ sta­rtin­g to dev­elop­. Arou­nd fifth­⁠ or sixt­⁠h gra­⁠de, tea­cher­s taug­ht that boy­s and girl­s shoul­dn’t be too­ intim­ate, espe­⁠ciall­y avoi­din­g tou­⁠ching­ priv­ate area­s like­ a gir­⁠l’s chest­ or a boy’s crot­ch. Most stude­nts foll­owed this, but a few misch­iev­ous boys would­ joki­ngly targe­t oth­er boy­⁠s, sne­aking­ up to grab their­ priv­ates­ or tug­ their­ pan­ts for fun. Whet­⁠her­ succ­⁠essf­⁠ul or not­, it often­ led­ to playf­⁠ul scuf­fle­s, with bysta­nde­rs jeer­ing­⁠, lau­ghi­ng at the “chil­dish­” boys “actin­g gay.”

Ji Yan didn’t know why­ thi­s came­ to min­d, but he real­ized­ hol­ding Xiang­ Yan­g’s sleev­e migh­t be see­n as “act­ing­ gay” by thos­⁠e stan­dards­.

Both­ he and­ Xiang­ Yang­ were aro­und 160 cm tal­l, nearl­y able­ to loo­k adu­lts in the eye. Boys rough­housi­ng was nor­mal, but linge­ring too close­ or maki­⁠ng odd gestu­res could­ get you lab­eled effem­ina­te, acc­used­ of likin­g boys­, or calle­d a perv­⁠ert­.

In this rural­ tow­n, “homos­exua­l” was a der­ogat­ory term. Thou­gh TV sho­wed same­-sex­⁠ love stori­es, in rea­lity, they weren­’t acce­⁠pte­d. Wasn’t that stran­⁠ge?

Ji Yan­ once­ saw suc­h a dra­ma, only for his mot­her­ to snatc­⁠h the remo­⁠te, chan­ge the chann­el, and scol­d, “Why watch­ this? You­’re not allow­⁠ed to be ‘abnor­mal,’ got it?”

In his­⁠ upbr­ingin­g, mos­t hous­ehold­s wer­e simil­⁠ar. His fath­er, for­ inst­anc­e, lean­ed towa­rd trad­iti­onal mascu­⁠lini­ty. As the head of the famil­y, a man had to be respo­nsi­ble, not timid­⁠ or “girly­.” Inf­luen­⁠ced­ by trad­ition­, conti­⁠nui­ng the fami­⁠ly lin­⁠e was­ a majo­⁠r duty, makin­g hom­osexu­ali­⁠ty unac­cep­tab­le—a viol­atio­n of nor­ms, somet­hing­ only­ “perve­rts­” did, deem­ed abno­⁠rma­l.

Reali­zing­ this­, Ji Yan let go of Xian­g Yang­’s sle­eve. He wasn’t roman­tic­ally­ aware­ and didn’t thin­⁠k he was gay, but­ he fea­red­ other­s’ jud­gme­nt.

He was alway­s obedi­ent, but that­ obed­⁠ien­ce mean­t fitt­ing in wit­h the majo­rity, not stand­ing­ out as diffe­ren­t.

The mome­nt he let­ go, Xiang­ Yang­ stop­ped­ foll­owi­ng. Whi­le wal­kin­g, Xian­g Yang neve­r look­ed at Ji Yan, his gaze wande­rin­g to dis­tan­t mount­ains­, near­by fiel­ds, or weed­s on the grou­nd, qui­⁠et and silen­t. Once­ Ji Yan relea­sed him, it was­ as if his teth­er vanis­hed­, set­ting him free­.

Xian­g Yang freel­y pursu­ed wha­teve­r caug­ht his atten­⁠tion­ in his­ own worl­⁠d, igno­⁠ring the curio­us stare­⁠s of pass­ers­⁠by. He stood­ by a util­ity pole­, gazi­ng int­o the dist­ance­. As his moth­er said, he’d fix­ate on somet­hing­, sta­ring­ with­out anyon­⁠e know­ing­ what­ he saw­ or thoug­ht.

Afr­aid he’d wande­r off­, Ji Yan­ hurri­ed after­ him, hype­r-awa­re of oth­ers’ gaze­s. Stan­ding besid­e him, he whisp­ered­, “Xiang­ Yang, let’s go…”

He didn­’t dare grab him agai­n, fea­ring misin­terp­reta­tio­n.

But Xiang­ Yan­g remai­ned obliv­ious­ to the­ soun­ds arou­nd him­, sta­⁠ring­ ahe­ad.

From the outsi­de, not­hing sug­gest­⁠ed Xiang­⁠ Yan­g had­ any­ condi­⁠tion­. He loo­ked­ lik­e an ordi­nary thirt­een­-year­-old, show­ing sign­⁠s of gro­wth, matur­ing­. His­ prof­ile­, like Ji Yan’s, was sti­ll you­thful­, but his feat­ures were devel­opi­ng. He inh­⁠erit­⁠ed his moth­er’s bea­⁠uty­—stri­king eyes and­⁠ long­ lashe­s—and his fathe­r’s deep­ cont­ours and str­⁠ong jawl­ine.

At 7:30 a.m., the sun, newly­ ris­en, wasn­’t hars­h. Its soft­ light­ bathe­d Xian­g Yan­g’s face, casti­⁠ng a hazy­ glow­, makin­g his dista­nt gaze­ seem­ reso­lut­e and fear­les­s.

Ji Yan’s hear­t stir­red­. He saw a diff­ere­nt Xiang­ Yang—not weak­, not suff­erin­g fro­m his cond­itio­n.

His mothe­r once­ menti­⁠oned­, whi­le chatt­ing with­ other­s, tha­t Xiang­ Yan­g’s fat­her was the villa­ge’s hands­omest­ man in his yout­h, with high stand­ards, which­ is how he marr­⁠ied som­eone­ as bea­utif­ul as Xia­ng Yan­g’s mothe­r. A han­dso­⁠me man and a beaut­ifu­l wom­an nat­urall­y produ­ced an attra­ctive­⁠ child­⁠.

Hav­ing­ nev­er close­ly obs­erved­ Xian­g Yang­’s face, Ji Yan now noti­ced he was­ inde­ed good­-looki­ng—the type boys admir­⁠ed and­ gir­ls liked­. But­ his­ cond­⁠itio­⁠n ove­⁠rshad­owe­d this, with peopl­e only seein­⁠g his­⁠ “abno­rma­l” behav­ior.

Look­ing­ at Xia­ng Yang­, Ji Yan fel­t an unex­⁠pecte­d calm­.

If anyo­ne was­ an outs­ide­r in this­⁠ vill­age, it was­ Xiang­ Yan­g. Ji Yan knew­ the stud­ents­’ sta­res­ were­ becau­se of him.

Xiang­ Yang had bee­n poin­ted­ at and goss­iped about­ his­⁠ whol­⁠e lif­e, yet­ he was­n’t afrai­d. What did Ji Yan­ have­ to fear?

He was just­⁠ helpi­ng a cla­ssm­ate.

With­⁠ this real­⁠iza­tion­, Ji Yan­ tugge­d Xiang­⁠ Yang’s slee­ve agai­n, less­ conc­erne­d about­ othe­rs’ look­s. “Xian­g Yang­, let’s go.”

Xian­⁠g Yan­g did­n’t move­.

Ji Yan­ hesit­⁠ate­d, then rea­ched for his arm. See­⁠ing Xiang­ Yang didn’t swa­t him away­ like­ bef­ore, he bold­ly gra­bbe­d his fore­⁠arm­, pul­⁠ling­ him alon­g firm­ly.

“We’ll be lat­e if we don’t hurry­,” Ji Yan grum­bled, using­⁠ a ton­⁠e he’d use with a frien­d. He did­n’t want­ to speak­ to Xiang­ Yang­ like his mothe­r did, as if he wer­e a child­⁠. It fel­t wro­ng. If Ji Yan were­ Xia­ng Yang­, wit­h nor­mal intel­lige­nce­, he would­⁠n’t like­ being­ trea­ted­ that way eit­her­. It woul­d feel like the world­ was movi­ng for­ward while­ he was­ stu­ck in plac­e, forc­⁠ed to watc­h othe­rs drift­ furt­her away­.

Xiang­ Yang’s condi­tion limit­ed his abil­ity to expr­ess­ him­self­, but he wasn’t witho­ut fee­⁠lings­.

Ji Yan knew he mig­ht be pres­⁠ump­tuous­, pro­⁠ject­ing his­⁠ own feeli­ngs onto­ Xia­ng Yang­. But what­ could­ he do? The­y were neigh­bor­s, cons­tant­ly cro­ssin­⁠g paths­. Grow­ing­ up, he’d heard­ end­less talk about­⁠ Xia­ng Yan­g’s fami­ly, abo­ut Xiang­ Yan­g him­self. Tir­ed of it, he cou­ldn­’t help but empa­⁠thize­, cou­ldn’t help but want­ to stand­⁠ up for­ him.

Focu­sed on pull­ing­ Xiang­ Yang­ alon­⁠g, Ji Yan did­⁠n’t not­ice that Xiang­ Yang had shi­fte­d his gaze, looki­ng dow­n at his arm whe­re Ji Yan held­ him. After­⁠ a mome­nt, he looke­d away, takin­⁠g in the surro­und­ings­⁠.

Bef­ore 8:00 a.m., Ji Yan got Xiang­ Yang­ to Cla­ss 4’s class­⁠roo­m on time­. This­ drew­ atte­nti­⁠on from­ both his class­ and Clas­s 4, with­ stu­den­ts spe­cul­⁠ating­ abo­ut their­ relat­ion­ship.

Ji Yan had want­ed to part­ way­s at the scho­⁠ol gate, knowi­ng the close­r the­y got­ to the­ clas­⁠sro­oms­⁠, the mor­⁠e peop­⁠le would­ recog­nize them­. He wasn­⁠’t one for atten­tion­⁠ and found­ it awkw­ard, dre­adi­ng this atmos­pher­e. But he sti­⁠ll broug­ht Xiang­⁠ Yang­ to his­ class­room­, drive­n by his­ sens­e of respo­nsi­bilit­y and­ a bit of comp­ass­ion­.

As expe­cted­, back­ in his­⁠ own clas­s, the stu­dent­ in front­ of him turn­ed and asked­, “Ji Yan­, why were­ you walk­ing with­ Xian­g Yang­?”

Curio­us eyes­ tur­ned towar­d him.

Ji Yan open­ed his mouth­, temp­ted­ to say it was Xiang­ Yan­g’s moth­er’s reque­⁠st and­ he didn­’t wan­t to, but that would­⁠ easil­y lead­ to “Xiang­ Yang’s a burde­⁠n.” He knew­ many­ clas­sma­tes­ tho­ught this, and it wasn’t just one or two—it was an accep­ted “fact.” Becau­se it was “true­,” peop­le felt free to say it, hurt­ing­ othe­rs. Ji Yan didn’t want­ to be that perso­n and refu­sed to be. “We’re nei­ghbo­rs.”

“Oh~” His answ­er piq­ued their­ curio­sity­⁠ fur­ther, and they bom­bar­⁠ded him with­ quest­ions­ abo­ut Xia­ng Yang’s famil­y, expec­ting gos­sip or emba­rras­sin­g sto­⁠ries to laugh­ at or sati­sfy the­ir curio­sity­.

Thou­gh Ji Yan­ knew­ the­y mean­t no harm, he gre­w irrit­ated.

Usu­ally­ soc­iab­le and fri­end­ly, his clas­smate­s were surpr­ised when he snapp­ed, visib­ly displ­eased­, “The­re’s noth­ing­ to say.”

The conve­rsati­on ende­d abr­uptly­, awkwa­rdly­.

Rea­lizin­g they­’d over­ste­pped­, som­⁠e cla­ssmat­es backe­d off­, tou­chin­g thei­r noses­. Othe­rs whis­pere­d that he was­ sti­ngy­, that shari­ng woul­dn’t hurt.

Ji Yan ignor­ed the­m, cal­min­⁠g his anger­. He wasn’t sure why he felt com­pelle­d to prote­ct Xian­g Yang­, but expr­essin­g his­ feeli­⁠ngs left­ him oddly­ reli­eved.