CTL 23

Baek Cheongha said in a snappy tone.

[It’s different from the past, isn’t it? Seoryeong is alive, he doesn’t need to die, and he’s living with a harmonious family, so there’s no way it’s the same.]

“……”

[And you owe me. So give me your ID.]

“I never did. And I don’t have an ID.”

[Ahahaha!]

Talking about debts. The two of them were in a relationship where they owed nothing and had nothing to receive from each other.

[Come and say thank you later.]

“Why would I.”

[You will.]

He said it with a strangely confident tone.

[Oh, right.]

It was then.

[You know. I have one thing I’m curious about.]

Baek Cheongha, who had been saying only what he wanted to say, said with a chuckle.

[Why do you keep dying?]

“……”

Yoongeon could not say anything in response to those words. It was not a question about why he kept ‘attempting suicide’ in his current life. He spoke as if he knew about Yoongeon’s past lives.

[Did someone tell you to do that? That’s strange, I don’t really see anyone like that.]

“……”

For a moment, Yoongeon could not say anything. He spoke as if he had scanned through all the lives he had lived, and for a moment, goosebumps rose on the back of his neck.

“…You’re not human, are you.”

[I am human, though?]

He said he was human, but Yoongeon did not believe him. What kind of human could act so deceitfully?

[Seohwi didn’t tell you to do that. He never even thought about you dying for him.]

“What are you trying to say.”

There was no way he could do something like this just because someone told him to. This was just to keep a promise he had made to himself. That he would never again let Seohwi fall. A vow he had made to himself, that he would let him live without any worries or concerns.

“…I didn’t do it because someone told me to.”

[Yeah, I know.]

Yoongeon was a man who always kept the words he spoke. He was also a man who never broke his vows. No matter how hard or overwhelming the path was, he was someone who endured without caring about such small and trivial things.

[That’s enough.]

“……”

[You’re really tough. You know that, right?]

Baek Cheongha let out a small sigh, “Haa.”

[Why do you struggle and try so hard. You’re still human even if you do.]

“……”

[You’re not a god. What’s more, he doesn’t cling to it as desperately as you do.]

“What are you trying to say.”

[I’m saying you should try thinking differently for once. Whether the thoughts you’re having are the same as what he’s thinking.]

Baek Cheongha’s voice was calm. It was just like the voice of the ‘divine beast’ he had talked with a long time ago.

[When you forcibly go against a given life, cut your lifeline, and die, the human soul crumbles. If you were an ordinary human, your soul would have shattered and disappeared in an instant. But how many times has it been for you?]

“……”

[It’s amazing no matter how I look at it. Aren’t you the one who’s not human?]

He let out a hollow laugh, saying it had been like that since the old days.

[That’s not a size a mere human can possess. It was excessively large even back then, to the point where I thought it was strange. What human in the world dares to entangle a divine beast in their destiny? What on earth are you.]

“Ha.”

Yoongeon also let out a hollow laugh.

“Then, would the Great King who achieved the feat of unifying the world not be born with a vessel of that magnitude.”

He knew the size of the power given to him better than anyone. Thus, Yoongeon had never once doubted his own qualities. He thought that the only one worthy of ruling the world was, of course, Ko Yoongeon, himself.

[Well, it is because you’re that kind of human that you can sit in a high position even after being stuck in this small country.]

Baek Cheongha said readily, as if in agreement.

[But that won’t be for long either.]

“What, will I live and die as a beggar in the next life?”

[No. I’m saying it’s not certain if you’ll be able to be born in the next life. Maybe Seohwi will be left all alone in the world?]

At those words, Yoongeon laughed without realizing it. The image of Seohwi living without being entangled with him, no, without even knowing of his existence. Was that not what he had wished for so much?

[I can see it with my eyes. You’ve crumbled too much.]

“……”

[A crumbled soul cannot be restored. That’s why you’re not the same as before. You know that, right?]

Although he did not pinpoint it, Yoongeon already knew what he was talking about.

It was no longer as easy to endure as it used to be. Also, he would break down at unexpected times. He would try to die, unable to overcome the impulse…. Things that he would have just endured with familiarity in the past, he now sometimes failed to do and would explode.

“What the hell does that matter.”

His words could have been quite scary, but Yoongeon retorted as if it were nothing. He was not pretending. It really did not matter to Yoongeon at all.

“Mind your own business.”

[Wow, you talk like a real asshole.]

“Haaa…. Don’t tire people out.”

[It’s a painful thing for the soul that is ‘you’ to disappear.]

“What’s there to be painful about me dying and dropping dead. According to you, there won’t be a soul to feel the pain.”

Pain? The soul disappearing is pain?

What a ridiculous thing to say. Yoongeon scoffed at Baek Cheongha’s nonsense.

The soul disappearing was not pain. For Yoongeon, living was pain. It was pain to see the one he should not hold, even while looking at him plainly with his eyes. He was already broken by the anguish he felt from not being able to have Seohwi. He was no longer the same as before.

“I’d rather it be that way, to crumble and disappear.”

[…….]

“It’s a relief that it even crumbles. I was wondering when on earth I could end this damn reincarnation.”

Seeing Seohwi made him happy, seeing Seohwi made him sad, and it was agonizing….

So he thought it might be more comfortable if he did not see him, but even that did not go as he wished. So he felt like he was going crazy. Yoongeon was born helplessly and waited for Seohwi to appear, and he died around the time his patience wore out from just watching the one he could not have.

[Is it hard?]

To him, Baek Cheongha asked.

“……”

[Why don’t you try saying something.]

He was uncharacteristically cautious.

[I’ll listen.]

“What words? I have nothing to say.”

He had nothing he wanted to say, and nothing he could say. Yoongeon had no intention of saying anything to Seohwi.

[Hmm….]

Baek Cheongha seemed to be contemplating something, but Yoongeon did not wait for his answer and hung up the phone. He had no more business with him. He had exercised a great deal of patience just by talking with him this much.

Yoon Seohwi: Executive Director

Yoon Seohwi: I got my phone back now

Yoon Seohwi: I’m sorry

He thought Baek Cheongha might call again, but fortunately, that did not happen. Yoongeon, who was reading the message from Seohwi, pressed his furrowed brow without realizing it. He was tired.

“No matter how I think about it, he’s not human….”

Since he could see things that a human could not, Baek Cheongha was definitely not human. Are divine beasts such deceitful beings even when they are born as humans?

During the time when Yoongeon was the Great King of Cheongwolmok, he had made a deal with Baek Cheongha, who was a divine beast, to save Seohwi. Baek Cheongha had said that he wanted to be born as a human along with his friend Seoryeong. However, he had accumulated a lot of karma from taking too many lives while living as a divine beast.

If he were to abandon his divine body with that karma as it was, Baek Cheongha would not be able to live a normal life. So Baek Cheongha made a proposal. He said he would save Seohwi, and in return, he asked Yoongeon to bear the karma he had accumulated over 1,500 years.

Of course, Yoongeon willingly accepted the deal. It was an offer he had no reason to refuse. It did not matter if it was 1,500 years or more. As long as he could save the dying Seohwi, there was nothing Yoongeon would not do.

Baek Cheongha’s karma was so vicious that even Yoongeon, who was born with the vessel of an emperor, found it painful. So, he suffered every day, waking up from dreams of the people Baek Cheongha had killed. Not knowing who he was, he trembled and begged to be saved, crawling on the floor, and he even felt the pain of his organs rotting away as he took on the suffering that Seohwi was supposed to endure.

But Yoongeon endured it without a single complaint. He held on. He held on by secretly vomiting blood and emptying his stomach in places where Seohwi could not see. To alleviate Baek Cheongha’s karma, he had to accumulate an equal amount of good deeds, so even in the midst of such pain, Yoongeon practiced good governance and even saved countless people.

At that time, Baek Cheongha had passed on his karma and left very lightheartedly. He left after abandoning all his divine powers. So he should be human, he ought to be, but Baek Cheongha still does not seem human and says strange things to him.

“What on earth do you want from me to be doing this….”

It was frustrating, tiring, and agonizing. Yoongeon leaned back in his chair and washed his dry face with his hands. He did not show up when he was enduring all those long years, so why now, of all times.

“Haaa….”

But it did not matter. Whether he crumbled or not, he was not afraid of that. What he was afraid of was Seohwi remembering the past and falling into despair. It was enough for him to be the only one in pain. Then and now, there was nothing Yoongeon would not do to save Seohwi.

When he opened his eyes again, as always, Yoongeon’s two eyes were empty. The eyes that could not properly contain anything were the eyes of a dead man.

✧ ✧ ✧

The place he arrived at by car was in front of the restaurant that his two mothers frequented. His mother was noticeably worried at the news that his aunt was looking for Yoongeon, but she could not bring herself to tell Yoongeon not to go. It was because his aunt was a somewhat difficult person for his mother.

He looked at the restaurant’s sign, which read ‘Seoanjeong,’ took out a cigarette, and put it to his lips. This restaurant was a favorite of his family members. It was because the food was clean and the restaurant’s atmosphere was quiet. It also suited Yoongeon’s picky palate quite well, so he often visited this place.

However, there was another reason why he liked this place. It was because the Chinese characters for Seoanjeong used the same characters as the twin palace he had built, ‘Seoangung.’ That was why Yoongeon would smoke a cigarette and stare at the sign that read ‘Seoanjeong’ for a long time whenever he came here.

A short while later, after Yoongeon finished his cigarette and entered the room a staff member guided him to, his aunt, Park Dongju, who was drinking water inside, acknowledged him.

“You’re here?”

“Yes, aunt.”

“I’ve ordered the food. I have a lot I want to talk about, but I have no intention of doing so without feeding a child, so shall we eat first and then talk?”

“Yes.”

As soon as he answered, the door opened and staff members came in with food and started setting the table. The owner of the restaurant, who knew Yoongeon’s family well as they were frequent visitors, would often arrange the table with their favorite side dishes, regardless of the menu.

Park Dongju occasionally picked up Yoongeon’s favorite side dishes and placed them on his spoon. Then, she carefully watched whether Yoongeon was eating properly and, unable to hold back, started nagging.

“Geon, your eating habits are too bad.”

“……”

“No matter how little interest you have in eating, you should still observe basic etiquette. Why doesn’t it get fixed even after I’ve taught you so?”

“I’m sorry.”

The bad eating habit of Yoongeon that she was talking about was how he would quickly lose interest in eating and stare blankly or stop eating once he felt a little full. Park Dongju regarded such behavior from Yoongeon with great displeasure and would scold him sternly whenever he did this.

Yoongeon thought of Seohwi while eating under her surveillance. It was because he remembered how he used to watch Seohwi’s reactions every time he ate in the past.

He did not seem like it, but he put a lot of effort into Yoongeon’s meals. Sometimes, he would even scold him if he did not act to his liking, and he was suddenly reminded of that time.

“Is there something that made you happy?”

It was then. Park Dongju asked gently while he was thinking about Seohwi. Wondering what she meant, Yoongeon raised his head, and she smiled.

“Your expression is very soft. I think it’s the first time I’ve seen it.”

“No. I’m not thinking about anything.”

Fortunately, Park Dongju did not pry and ask what he was thinking about. She simply watched him as he was almost finished with his meal and quietly poured him a cup of tea.

“Our Geon-ie finally knows how to use his head a little.”

Park Dongju said as she drank her tea.

“You’ve entangled it in a way that’s hard to get out of.”

“Rather than entangling, I just told the truth about what my half-brother did, that’s all.”

“Well, that’s true too… ah, the tea is a bit hot.”

Park Dongju had a habit of drinking tea that cleansed her palate after a meal. But for some reason, the temperature of the tea water was particularly hot today. Yoongeon opened the lid of the teapot and said.

“Still, there must be a way.”

At Yoongeon’s words, Park Dongju smiled faintly.

“Of course, I’ve already found it. It’s not that difficult of a matter, actually.”

In the meantime, Yoongeon, who had cooled the teacup by swirling it, swapped the teacup in front of Park Dongju with his own.

“You know and I know, but actually, for people like us, this kind of thing is no big deal, is it.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“What’s scary are the things that will happen after this. It’s not the crime that boy committed that’s scary, but the fact that my son might not be able to make a social comeback that’s scary. Ah, the temperature is just right now. Is this jasmine tea today?”

“You like flower tea, aunt.”

“Yes, that’s right. The chrysanthemum tea you gave me last time wasn’t bad either, but this one is better.”

As if she liked it, she emptied the teacup in one go. When Yoongeon poured her another cup, she smiled and said thank you.

“I really do like you, Geon. You’re smart, you have a good sense for work, and you have a rather gentle side to you.”

“……”

Even though she knew that Yoongeon was an obstacle to her son’s future, Park Dongju did not discriminate against him or dislike him. She looked at Yoongeon without any prejudice and judged and evaluated him fairly. She was that kind of person.

“Honestly, the position of Vice President of Shinhyun Motors suits you better than my son, Geon. I saw the contest you ran. The design of the person who won first place was amazing, wasn’t it? It was bold not to choose something futuristic. I haven’t seen a design like that in so long that I looked at it for a while, and the more I looked, the more charming it was.”

It seemed she had even looked at Seohwi’s design, which neither Ko Yoonchul nor Chairman Ko had properly examined.

“It’s not novel. But I considered it a design that could be varied enough.”

“That’s right. There’s that thing called old-school sensibility. There will surely be people whose hearts are moved. No, there will be many such people. People get tired when one design dominates the market for too long.”

She nodded her head as if she understood.

“So, do you want the vice president position, Geon?”

“Yes.”

“It will end up being yours after all.”

Even though she knew her son was in a difficult situation, Park Dongju was composed. Whether that was the characteristic composure of a lawyer or a natural calmness, one could not tell.

“Geon-ah, how is the aroma?”

“It’s good.”

“Right? Could you ask what they use on your way out later?”

Yoongeon nodded his head.

“I’ll buy the same one and send it to you. Should I send it to the law firm, or should I send it to your home.”

“Hmm…. I don’t really drink it at home. Just send it to my office.”

“Yes.”

As if she was quite fond of the tea, Park Dongju took another sip before setting down the teacup.

“Anyway… I’d like to make you a proposal.”

“Please speak.”

“When the motion for the dismissal of the vice president is submitted and brought up, I will also cast a vote in favor.”

“In exchange,” Park Dongju continued.

“Just give Yoonchul a small affiliate.”

“Which affiliate.”

At his question, Park Dongju smiled.

“I think Shinhyun Textiles would be about right.”

At the mention of Shinhyun Textiles, Yoongeon looked at her with a puzzled expression. Shinhyun Textiles was a place that could not even become a white elephant, so why would she want that. He quickly calculated what could be gained from that place, but it was a place where the losses were greater than the gains.

“Shinhyun Textiles doesn’t have good performance, so he’ll have to struggle tooth and nail to make money, won’t he? Still, since it’s within the Shinhyun Group, he won’t be out of the family’s shadow.”

“Are you saying you will deliberately take a place that doesn’t even make a profit?”

“Yoonchul will work there without pay. I’m planning to have the money he should have originally received distributed to the employees.”

“……”

Right now, Ko Yoonchul’s public image was at its absolute worst. What Park Dongju was saying now was that she would restore his ruined image.

“You know too. In the end, I’m behind Yoonchul. The fact that I’m there means that our law firm will support Yoonchul. There’s no chance that child will serve a prison sentence. But I…”

Park Dongju thought for a moment before continuing.

“I want that child to live at least a little bit like a human being.”