CEL 34

“Hyung, can’t you really keep tutoring me? I’ll pay you a lot.”

“No, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“My grades are more important than yours.”

Doyoung looked hurt by the blunt rejection, but there was nothing that could be done. Letting his everyday life be disrupted just for tutoring was out of the question.

“Then, what about meeting up after the tutoring ends? Eat with me sometimes.”

“Well… okay.”

“Really? Then I’ll contact you!”

What he meant was that after the college entrance exam he would treat him to one meal out of courtesy. But Kwon Doyoung, not knowing that, clenched his fist in joy. Rather than correcting him, he looked over the test paper full of wrong answers and added,

“Just do well on the exam. Even if you think repeating is certain, still do your best.”

“When I become an adult, drink with me too. Hyung, are you good at drinking?”

“Don’t be too disappointed even if your score isn’t as good as you expect.”

“Or should we go on a trip? Do you like the sea?”

“It would be even better if you consider again going to a college with no minimum requirement.”

“Ah, I’m so excited. I wish I could become an adult quickly.”

Hearing Doyoung’s response, which showed not the slightest interest in the exam, he could not shake off the thought that all his effort during summer vacation had gone to waste.

But at least he had earned money.

“Hyung, do you take classes with that guy?”

“What, Han Jaeha?”

Hearing him nearly grind out the words ‘that guy,’ he asked back in disbelief. Doyoung nodded with determination.

It had been like this ever since that day they met. Childish flirting of ‘Do this, do that’ always followed by absurd jealousy.

He acted like a gentle lamb to him, yet every time Jaeha’s name came up, his gaze turned cold, which was ridiculous.

“I told you many times, he’s older than you.”

“That’s why I’m asking if you take classes with that guy. Can’t you not take them?”

“Why?”

“He looks like he has a bad personality.”

Well. His judgment was decent, but maybe he only lacked study skills.

He nodded in easy agreement at the comment about bad personality, and Doyoung started grumbling.

“Why are you dating someone like that?”

When he asked with his lips pushed out sulkily, Hamin raised his eyebrows.

“…How did you know?”

“Know what?”

“That we’re dating.”

“He looked at me like I was some traitor selling out the country. If I didn’t notice that, I’d be an idiot, right?”

It was so obvious?

If even in that brief time Kwon Dohyeong met Han Jaeha he figured it out, then the whole world must know. Hamin’s expression faintly twisted. This was an unexpected obstacle.

Recently Han Jaeha was like a completely different person. He stared at him and gave ticklish smiles, made a fuss about breaking his fingers just opening a bottle, and whenever they got a chance to be alone, he stuck to his side without letting go.

Saying he was annoyed only worked once or twice. Now when he said, ‘What if you find me annoying, sunbae? I’ll be so shocked I might quit drawing,’ even he was lost for words.

It was also troublesome when he followed him into his house without asking. In the end the problem was himself, because he always gave in.

Two weeks ago during course registration it was the same.

‘Sunbae, what are you registering for?’

‘Here.’

Too lazy to speak, he handed over his phone. Jaeha’s face slightly wrinkled and he muttered,

‘There isn’t a single liberal arts subject.’

‘I don’t need to take any this semester.’

‘Can’t you take just one?’

‘Why?’

Tilting his head at the unexplained request, Jaeha again stuck tightly to his side. What did he think at that moment? Maybe it was, isn’t he hot like this?

‘Are you not going to take classes with me?’

‘I’m not.’

‘Sunbae, do you really have no sense of romance?’ Romance, what romance?

Since he already graduated with A+ in every subject once, there was no reason to change his past course plan. Grades could change depending on the semester, even for the same subject, so there was no need to take such a risk.

To him, Jaeha’s request was absurd.

‘I only want to be with you.’

‘We’re together right now.’

When he answered indifferently, disappointment showed on Jaeha’s face. He knew that expression worked on him and was deliberately making it. With a small sigh he belatedly excused himself.

‘It’s better to stick to the plan.’

‘Your grades matter more than me?’

He pretended to pat his head but lightly pushed him away. Jaeha instantly caught his intent and bit his forearm gently, like a puppy.

‘I need to take what I’m good at so I can use the rest of my time freely. Using time efficiently is so important.’

At that answer, Jaeha’s light brown eyes, full of dissatisfaction, opened slightly wide. He looked like he was thinking about something, then soon smiled and lowered his head. The sound of his pounding heart came through the skin where they touched. Looking down at his reddened ear made him feel embarrassed for no reason.

When asked later why he made that expression, Jaeha said Hamin’s words sounded like he wanted to make time no matter what to be with him. It was a ridiculous reply.

He wanted to say that dreams are better in interpretation, but held back, and looked at Jaeha’s face which seemed to hold all the joy in the world. Seeing him smile at something so small was not unpleasant.

In the end, after all the back and forth, he and Jaeha ended up in the same class. It was the result of Hamin’s defeat, since he couldn’t stand seeing Jaeha’s shoulders droop every time course registration came up.

Well, changing one subject wouldn’t change his grades.

But contrary to expectations that he would follow the chosen subjects, Han Jaeha was unexpectedly assertive. When he said he disliked ‘Law and Values,’ he asked what he wanted to take instead, and the answer came back with a subject unrelated to his major.

In the end, only after spending an entire day debating were they able to decide on a class to take together. When ‘Literature and Psychoanalysis’ was suggested, Han Jaeha became displeased, and when ‘Empathy and Coexistence’ was suggested, Hamin became displeased, so there was no choice.

The subject they finally settled on was ‘Psychology of Human Relationships.’ Hamin disliked subjects that required mingling with people, but after checking reviews from the previous semester and confirming that group projects only required two members, he made the decision.

When Hamin fell into long thought, Kwon Doyoung caught on right away that his attention had drifted and pouted.

“I’m interested in hyung too. I even practiced pen spinning because of you.”

He said that while twirling a mechanical pencil like it was some kind of stunt, Hamin laughed.

Spinning a pen between fingers was not something he did consciously. It was a habit that came out naturally when he felt stifled or needed to concentrate.

If he had repeated the same action often enough that Doyoung remembered it, that was only proof of how stifled he had felt… Did Doyoung know that?

When Hamin silently stared at him, the pencil spun without pause. Because Doyoung’s hand was so large, it looked less like spinning and more like bullying the pen. Watching Doyoung’s serious expression as he showed off his trick made Hamin smile.

“That’s not it.”

“Huh?”

Even under the puzzled look, Hamin kept his mouth shut. He only watched the pencil spinning between the first and second fingers and thought of someone with light brown eyes.

•••

What is the most infuriating situation for a lawyer?

When meeting a troublesome client? When the logic prepared so carefully in court gets torn apart? Or when an irritating colleague keeps stealing every single case?

No.

Without doubt, the most infuriating situation for a lawyer is when he knows the law too well, so he cannot carry out the illegal thoughts inside him.

… Should he kill Han Jaeha?

Hamin clenched his teeth as he looked down at Jaeha staring earnestly at his crotch.

“No.”

“You did everything else but say this is the only thing that’s not allowed, isn’t that funny?”

“What if you think it’s funny?”

The beginning of the incident was like this.

As always, sneaking glances, Han Jaeha ended up slipping into the house and attached himself to Hamin’s side, covering his cheek and shoulder with endless kisses.

Since being dragged into that first careless encounter, they had not done it again. Whenever Jaeha tried to create even the slightest erotic atmosphere, Hamin cut it off immediately, and Jaeha did not push past that either.

What led to today was largely because of an episode mentioned in passing about Kwon Doyoung. For some reason, whenever that name came up, Jaeha lost his composure. The moment he heard that Dohyeong even practiced pen spinning to show off, Jaeha bit down on Hamin’s lips.

The kiss was so wet it felt like his tongue might reach his throat. Clothes came off naturally after that, and Jaeha’s gaze lingered meaninglessly on Hamin’s crotch for a long time.

Thinking this crazy kid was at it again, Hamin slowly closed his legs, and Jaeha asked the problematic question.

‘Can I suck it?’

Hamin looked up at Jaeha, who licked his lips with a slightly pale face.

In the end, it was a matter of feeling. No matter that they had already done all sorts of things, letting a kid more than ten years younger put his mouth on his cock was… a problem on another level.

Just continuing this undefined relationship was already betraying the moral values Hamin had built up his entire life. But if Jaeha were to put his mouth on his cock and suck it?

That was a crime. Clearly a crime. If it was not legally defined, then it should be.

While Hamin thought about how many years he would be sentenced to if indicted for fraud, Jaeha frowned and asked,

“You said you dated three times, so how can you be embarrassed about something like this?”

“Because I’ve never done this.”

“Then how far… no, don’t say it. That’s disgusting.”

He looked at Hamin with a face asking what he was supposed to do with that answer, then rubbed his goosebumped forearm. Maybe the air conditioner was too strong, because he quickly felt cold. Staring at him, Jaeha pulled the blanket beside him and carefully covered his body.

“You’ll catch a cold again.”

“Then I’ll get the insurance payout again.”

“Your mouth, mouth. Mouth.”

Each syllable was pecked with kisses, tickling. While checking carefully if there was any gap for air to come in, Jaeha wrapped his arms around Hamin through the blanket. Even though the blanket blocked the warmth, it somehow felt like body heat was reaching him.

Not knowing where to put his arms, Hamin just rested them on his stomach and looked at the ceiling.

Lying on the bed in the middle of the day felt strange. Looking at the clock hanging on the wall, it was only two o’clock. It was not that he lacked sleep, he had simply never been lying down at this hour.

“Lying down at this time makes me feel guilty.”

“If you say that somewhere else, people will curse at you.”

How did people think this kid was a model student? He was this lazy.

Jaeha usually enjoyed static things that could be done without thought. Walking, lying down, listening to music without lyrics. In other words, he had no interest in productive activities.

“Do you usually spend vacation like this?”

“Normally I don’t go out this much.”

Hamin gave up asking further after receiving the opposite of what he intended. He simply stared at Jaeha, who looked very cheerful as he touched his cheek.

The sudden change of attitude was tiring, but watching Jaeha looking happy was not unpleasant. It only left him uneasy in many ways.

In the end, youthful whims do not last long. So Jaeha’s feelings, like playing with fire, would not last either. But it was impossible not to worry.

When he grew tired, this strange relationship would end.

For a moment, Hamin imagined his life without Jaeha. It was how it should be, but it felt like it would be a little bitter.

He stretched and bent his toes to shake off his thoughts. Watching the white blanket rise and fall slightly, Jaeha spoke with a serious face.

“Sunbae.”

Hamin looked at him questioningly at the serious tone. Jaeha wrinkled his nose and asked,

“…Can I bite your foot once?”

Was this kid insane?

Seeing Hamin curse him silently with his eyes, Jaeha licked his lips regretfully.

Sunbae’s feet must be sweet too.

Only after Jaeha went around biting different parts of Hamin’s body did he understand why Hamin liked such soft things so much.