PO 12

“Lee Woojeong. Please wake up.”

Woojeong opened his eyes as he felt ‎a hand shaking his shoulder. Joo Yeongmo was looking down at him.

When Woojeong realized he had fell asleep while sitting, he fumbled to rise, but Joo Yeongmo soothed him and told him to calm down.

“Secretary Joo. I’m sorry. I nodded off….”

“It’s fine. Take a moment to breathe.”

Woojeong, who had quickly sat up, was startled to see that the blanket he had placed over Han Jaegang was now covering him instead. The place where Han Jaegang had lain was tidy, as if no one had been there.

“Executive Director….”

“He went in to rest. Ah. Executive Director asked me to give this to you.”

Joo Yeongmo suddenly remembered something and handed Woojeong a small box from the table. In the little zippered pouch that fit in the palm were several kinds of ointment for wounds and a few cotton swabs arranged in order. Joo Youngmo explained how to use the ointment kindly and added,

“He said you’d know when I gave it to you.”

Woojeong recalled what Han Jaegang had murmured before leaving his room.

You need to put ointment on.

He had never thought Han Jaegang would remember and prepare something for him like this. The unexpected concern from someone whose own condition wasn’t good left Woojeong restless.

“Thank you.”

“I’m not the one who deserves to hear that.”

Joo Yeongmo replied with a gentle smile. Woojeong looked briefly at the Han Jaegang’s closed bedroom door, then stood up from his seat.

The kindness felt awkward and unfamiliar. More than that, when care came from someone who had no reason at all to give it, he found it difficult to know how to take it.

•••

Toward evening, the sky heavy with dark clouds began to release thick raindrops. The downpour was fierce, unusual for winter rain. Strong winds rattled the tightly closed windows, and lightning was followed by loud thunder.

Each time lightning struck, the window opening toward the back garden lit up as bright as day. At the sound of thunder that grew louder and louder, Woojeong, who had barely fallen asleep, turned in his bed. Even wrapped tightly in the blanket, his body curled from the cold that pierced him.

“Hh….”

Beneath his closed eyelids, his eyes shook, and his hands holding the blanket trembled pitifully. On nights of heavy rain, Woojeong always had nightmares.

In the dream, Woojeong was a child. On a warm spring day, Woojeong was walking hand in hand with someone. The face was blurry so he couldn’t tell who it was, but the hand he held was unusually warm. Feeling good at the hand that affectionately stroked his head, Woojeong bounced on his feet as he walked.

But the comfort didn’t last long. With a terrible scream, a giant hand appeared from somewhere, seized Woojeong, and pulled him back. He struggled with all his might not to be dragged, but young Woojeong wasn’t strong enough.

The moment he lost the hand he had held and was pulled back, the sun disappeared, and the world turned dark as night. Woojeong was trapped in the arms of a shadow without shape. A hand as dry and hard as a dead branch pressed down on Woojeong’s shoulder. Terrified, Woojeong lifted his head. The face that should have had eyes was empty, and the dreadful face grinned.

“You better behave. Where do you think you’re going?”

His lips were sealed, and no sound came out. Woojeong, seized with fear, shook his head.

As if it had read Woojeong’s mind, the dreadful face whispered with a terrifying voice.

“You poor thing. Your mother abandoned you.”

“No. My mother, my mother….”

Woojeong shook his head and denied it. But just as those words said, no one was beside him, and he didn’t know where she had gone.

“From now on, you’ll live like a shadow. Dead quiet, and you must not make a sound. Do you understand?”

The shadow, which faced Woojeong in a grotesque posture, spoke. Woojeong tried to stamp his foot to flee from its yellow pupils, but he couldn’t move.

Young Woojeong stretched his hand for help. He begged anyone to take him away. He pleaded for rescue from this dreadful monster. But everything he saw was illusion, and nothing came into his grasp.

The shadow, which laughed in a voice so loud it hurt his ears, flung Woojeong aside somewhere. Then it turned and walked away, and after looking back at Woojeong once, it slammed the door shut.

As all the light in the world vanished, Woojeong was left alone in pitch darkness. He crawled on the floor in panic. When his hand finally touched a wooden door, he scratched it and knocked as he begged.

Save me. Save me. Please, please…!

With a voice that didn’t escape his lips, Woojeong begged someone and began to weep bitterly as a child. But no matter how he cried, nothing changed.

The pitch-black shadow began to devour Woojeong bit by bit. The senses in his body dulled, and his vision went black.

Perhaps because the desperate emotions of the dream carried over, Woojeong began to cry in his sleep. Just before the tears gathered on his long lashes could fall, the door opened with loud footsteps.

Woojeong woke with a start. When he turned his head, a silhouette standing at the open door came into view.

At the illusion that overlapped with the afterimage of the nightmare, Woojeong instinctively drew his body toward the wall.

When lightning flashed, the room lit briefly. Kang Eonju, who stood at the doorway, smiled coldly. Tilting her head, Kang Eonju stared at him, her face like a scene from a horror film.

With a whiskey bottle in her hand, she staggered toward Woojeong.

“M-Mother.”

He couldn’t tell if it was dream or reality. The closer Kang Eonju came, the stronger the harsh smell of alcohol grew. She staggered forward and stopped before Woojeong.

“Our Woojeong, I came to see if you were sleeping well.”

Though Kang Eonju’s voice as it left her lips sounded tender, the gaze that stared down at him carried a chill. With a slight smile, she swept back his hair.

“Woojeong. I’ve never hated you. You know how much care I’ve poured into you. Your mother couldn’t have done this much if she had been here. I filled even the role of your mother, didn’t I?”

“…Yes.”

“That’s why you must listen well to your mother. You know your brother’s been going on blind dates, right? I’ll soon introduce a good person to you too. Only if you do well will your mother feel it was worth raising you. Isn’t that so?”

“I…”

“Why, do you dislike it?”

Kang Eonju lowered her voice and then raised the bottle in her hand and took a swig.

“Mother. I’m still…”

Before Woojeong could finish his words, Kang Eonju raised her hand. Without the slightest hesitation, she slapped his cheek, and his head turned weakly. The cheek that had been hit burned as if it were seared, and tears welled up in his eyes.

“You’re really pathetic enough to die.”

She poked at Woojeong’s forehead with her fingertip. At the sight of Woojeong’s helplessness, unable to resist no matter what, she twisted her lips in satisfaction.

“Do you think it’s natural to eat and sleep in this house? Since your father doesn’t even care about you, and I raised you this much, shouldn’t you at least do something useful for the family?”

“Mother. Even so, I…”

“If you don’t like it, then live elsewhere. No one will stop you.”

From when Woojeong was a child, Kang Eonju had gripped him in her palm and ruled him as she wished. She had told him countless times to get out, but every time he heard it, Woojeong felt suffocated with desperation.

When he was young, he trembled in fear that he really might be cast out of the house and left alone. Now he was of an age to survive somehow, but that hopelessness and fear still remained in a corner of his heart.

Was he truly being cast out? Was it real this time? With just Kang Eonju’s single word, Woojeong was seized again with the feeling that he was nothing.

“It’s so tiresome and dreadful. This is all for your sake, so how can you act like that?”

“How can you only ever think of yourself?”

“M-Mother. I, I was wr-wrong…”

“I don’t want to hear it, so shut your mouth.”

“M-Mother…”

“I told you to shut your mouth!”

As Kang Eonju’s voice rose, the sound of slaps rang through the room. Once, then again, and again. Even after striking his cheek several times, as if her anger hadn’t cooled, she seized Woojeong by the collar and shook him violently.

“No matter how much I take care of you, a kid like you will end the same way in the end. Do you understand?”

Woojeong was tossed by Kang Eonju’s grip without a shred of resistance. It wasn’t because he lacked the strength to shake her off, but because he knew if he defied her, things would turn worse.

Whenever Woojeong tried to stop her or resisted in moments like this, Kang Eonju lost all reason. She screamed and raved with such ferocity that it was frightening even to watch, and when her agitation reached a level she couldn’t control, she fainted on the spot. Even while being beaten and clawed without cause, Woojeong was conditioned to worry for her before himself.

“Ah, Mother.”

With the sound of dragging footsteps, Lee Doyoung appeared at the door. Kang Eonju, who had been clutching Woojeong’s collar and shaking him, faltered. Doyoung sighed in irritation as he looked at the two of them.

“My son. You’re awake?”

“It’s noisy. What’s this commotion in the middle of the night? You woke me up, Mother. I told you I have to leave early tomorrow. ”

Her voice immediately softened. Kang Eonju shoved Woojeong away, rose from the bed unsteadily, and went over to Doyoung. She held his arm with affection and smiled sheepishly.

“I’m sorry. Ha… I had a drink, and my temper flared so much I couldn’t stand it.”

“Are you an alcoholic? How can you drink every day like that?”

“When did I ever drink every day. I just had a glass by chance. I’ll be quiet now. Let’s go to sleep. Yes?”

Woojeong stared blankly at the backs of the two as they disappeared, arm in arm with tenderness. After a few seconds passed and their presence faded, the sensor lights in the hallway shut off. Darkness and silence returned as if nothing had happened.

Woojeong gathered the pajama top whose buttons had all been torn away and collapsed onto the bed. His cheek burned, and his head throbbed. As he lay still, staring blankly at the ceiling, he covered his eyelids with his palm.

The palm over his eyes soon grew damp, but no sound of crying escaped. The wounds left on his body from Kang Eonju’s blows and scratches didn’t matter. What pained him was only this endlessly repeating moment.

The world Woojeong knew was nothing beyond this house. But that world whispered dreadful words into his ears again and again and tightened around his throat.

You’ll never be able to live properly outside this place. I won’t allow it.