PO 19

Han Jaegang turned around, exhaled smoke, and put out the cigarette. The main house building that he saw in the quiet parking lot had a calm atmosphere. It was true that the sight from afar was beautiful regardless of what was happening inside.

“Jaegang-ah. How is your body these days?”

Han Jaehee was in the place where he turned at the familiar voice. Her figure that sat calmly in the wheelchair was something he never got used to even after years passed. Han Jaegang turned his head toward the direction of the passing wind, and he avoided her, and he let the smoke drift away.

“I’m fine, so worry about yourself, noona.”

“I’m living fine, so why are you saying that?”

“Is it normal for you to hide away and live in such a backwater to avoid people?”

“Who’s avoiding anyone. I just live the way I like. That’s comfortable.” Han Jaehee only smiled kindly at his curt words. One day she declared to those around her that she wanted to live in a quiet place. Many people worried about her living far away since her body was inconvenient, but she didn’t bend her will.

She found a suitable house in a small village in Gangwon-do. By normal standards it couldn’t be called small, but compared to what she used to enjoy it was so modest that it was absurd.

“What did uncle say that made you come up? You could’ve just contacted me.”

“I didn’t come because I listened to uncle.”

Unless it was necessary, Han Jaehee didn’t move from the place she lived. So unless Han Jaegang went to meet her a few times a year, the two had no chance to see each other.

Since she was a painter, living in a quiet place wasn’t bad, but Han Jaegang still didn’t feel good about it.

“I suddenly felt like my heart was tearing when I thought of you sitting alone at the dinner table, so I came. Also because I thought I hadn’t seen grandma and grandpa for too long.”

Han Jaegang, who had been bristling, let out a deflated laugh. Han Jaehee definitely looked more relaxed than when she was in Seoul. But whenever the image of Han Jaehee standing in front of a canvas taller than her and swinging her brush without hesitation came to his mind, he couldn’t help but feel bitter.

“Thank you.”

“You’ll worry about me, but to be blunt, who in this family lives as comfortably as I do. So if you have something hard, talk to noona.”

“Secretary Kim.”

Han Jaegang called her secretary who was waiting a little ways off. When he asked if there was something to put over her, a thick blanket was soon prepared.

“If you get fed up then quit everything and come down. Noona will support you.”

“You talk so well, then why did you keep your mouth shut earlier?”

“Why would I yap in front of people I see once or twice a year. If I don’t at least act pitiful, they won’t leave me alone.”

Since it wasn’t wrong, Han Jaegang just chuckled. Han Jaehee’s personality was very different from his, since if she got upset she didn’t insist on paying it back somehow. She preferred to go around rather than pointlessly confront people she disliked.

“You’re good at smiling and arguing now. You even gave uncle and Jaegwan a proper blow? They must’ve hushed it up, so how did you know?”

“You know. Those people are sloppy.”

“It’s good that your spirit isn’t crushed, Han Jaegang.”

“I have no choice if I have to do noona’s share too. Are you really going to go down right away?”

“Yeah, I want to. The air here is bad, so I have a headache.”

Even when told to stay a few days at the Snow Reflection Residence since she came this far, Han Jaehee shook her head. Since fatigue filled her face, he couldn’t hold her more. In the end Han Jaegang decided to let Han Jaehee go.

“If you’re going then go before it gets later.”

“I should. Oh right. When it’s your birthday, come visit. Noona will cook seaweed soup for you.”

“I’ll decline.”

“I’m good at it now, I’m telling you.”

“Just get in the car quickly.”

Because their uncle unnecessarily sent a car to bring Han Jaehee, they decided to use Han Jaegang’s car for the return. Han Jaegang carefully lifted his sister who sat in the wheelchair. For her younger brother who couldn’t meet her eyes, Han Jaehee playfully ruffled the back of his head.

When he seated her in the backseat and fastened her belt then stepped back, her secretary put away the wheelchair and loaded it in the trunk. When Han Jaegang gave a silent bow, Secretary Kim greeted politely.

“Please drive carefully, Secretary Joo.”

“Don’t worry. But, how will you go to your house?”

“Oh. Secretary Joo. Can’t he even go home alone?”

“…….”

“When will you become a proper adult, Han Jaegang?”

Han Jaehee, who had been listening to the two speak, laughed as if it was amusing, and she cut in. At the silly joke that seemed like she wanted to ease her own worry of having to entrust driving to another person, Han Jaegang played along in moderation.

“I’ve grown up now, so I can find my way home alone, so don’t worry. Let’s go.”

When Han Jaegang closed the car door and stepped back, the car soon started to move. When he nodded at Han Jaehee, who waved her hand out the window like a child, his car picked up speed.

After leaving the main house, Han Jaegang started to walk along the alley. He could have called a taxi, but he didn’t want to stay here.
The night air of the deserted alley was cool. His mood that he had consciously raised while talking with Han Jaehee was gradually calming down. Han Jaegang, who walked quietly down the alley where only the sound of shoes echoed, took out his phone. His finger stopped at a number that he had only saved but never contacted.

……When was the last time he summoned him. Han Jaegang, who recalled Lee Woojeong’s face that always stiffened in vigilance whenever he dealt with him, stopped walking. His brow wrinkled as he placed his hand on his left chest.

It felt like an invisible force was squeezing his heart tight. The suffocating pressure spread through his whole body along the bloodstream every time his heart beat. He barely managed to take out the pill bottle from the inner pocket of his jacket and opened the cap. Because he couldn’t control it properly, the small pills poured out and slipped through his fingers.

Han Jaegang barely put one pill into his mouth, and he bent his waist and grabbed behind his knee. Even though he focused on breathing, only shallow breaths repeated, and his blocked airway wouldn’t clear. Cold sweat was trickling down his forehead.

“Damn…….”

When he raised only his head to look ahead, the distant lights flickered faintly.

•••

Woojeong thought that he really didn’t know what his future would be. At first his goal and plan was to keep working at the convenience store and pass the high school equivalency exam.

That daily life that flowed without change completely changed after he met Han Jaegang. Even if he didn’t work at the convenience store, money that was far more than that came in, and he gained freedom equal to the hours he used to work.

On days when he wasn’t called to the Snow Reflection Residence, Woojeong went to a study cafe near the convenience store. He sat in a quiet spot and studied or read books, and sometimes he laid down and tried to sleep.

As he gained more time to spend quietly alone like that, his thoughts also increased. He wasn’t a kid anymore, so he had to take care of himself. If college admission was hard, he thought about getting a job right away. Either way, he had to save enough money to get a dorm room or a small room to live.

When he tried to make specific plans, sometimes he felt frustrated like he had reached a dead end.

….Would he be able to receive permission from the family? Would it really be possible to live as he wished?

“So you quit the convenience store?”

Seo Junho, who was drinking beer, set down the can with a pop. Woojeong nodded in answer. The two, who had promised to meet soon, actually faced each other long after they promised. Because it was hard to match time, but Seo Junho seemed a little sulky.

“What’s the work you do there?”

Even when he tried to tell Seo Junho everything that happened until now, Woojeong swallowed his words every time. When asked what he did when he was called to the Snow Reflection Residence, he had no proper answer.

Even if he said he just stayed quietly and spent time as he was told, Seo Junho would never understand.

“There isn’t much work.”

“What are you saying? But you get paid a lot?”

There was a limit to beating around the bush. He had at least said that he quit the convenience store and worked somewhere else, but he couldn’t explain beyond that. He also signed a confidentiality agreement, and even if he told the truth, it didn’t seem like Seo Junho would accept it.

“Junho-ya. Later, when things are sorted out, I’ll tell you.”

Woojeong also felt frustrated that he couldn’t be honest. The circumstances of how he first met Han Jaegang were also full of things that were awkward to explain to anyone, but after he learned that he was someone who met his brother, his mind became many times more complicated like an unsolved tangle.

Even when Lee Doyoung grumbled that Han Jaegang was too busy and had no time to meet, Woojeong sometimes was called to the Snow Reflection Residence. He even spent hours together with him in one space. He only became more troubled, feeling like he was deceiving his brother and doing bad things.

Seo Junho, who looked at Woojeong with suspicious eyes, asked carefully.

“That place, it’s not weird, right?”

“Huh?”

“Since you’re the type who just puts up with things like a fool, I can’t feel at ease. If they take a clueless kid and do weird things, I’ll go and flip everything over.”

“It’s not like that, so don’t worry.”

Han Jaegang didn’t treat Woojeong badly. When he thought carefully about his words and actions, he often felt like he was helping him instead.

“I can’t believe it. You’re too blank.”

Woojeong, who chuckled at Seo Junho’s banter, took his phone from his pocket. A message had arrived.

[Come to Snow Reflection Residence now.] 10:14 PM

[Quickly] 10:14 PM

It was a message that called Woojeong to the Snow Reflection Residence. But the sender number and the message content were different from usual.
Although he hadn’t saved the number in his phone, Woojeong remembered whose number it was.

“Junho-ya. Sorry, but I think I have to go now.”

“Why? Did something happen?”

“No. I got a call.”

Seo Junho frowned as if he felt uneasy, but in that time Woojeong became even more pressed.

Why did the man contact him directly? The message that told him to come quickly made his heart pound.

It could have been something he could ignore, but for no reason Woojeong felt anxious, and he stood up first.

“Junho-ya. I’ll contact you later.”

Woojeong jumped into a taxi without hesitation and gave the driver the address of the Snow Reflection Residence.

When the taxi that had been driving for a while turned onto a familiar road, Woojeong unconsciously prepared to get off.

He was feeling anxious. There wasn’t even a clear reason for it. He only received two short messages, that was all, but he didn’t know why he felt this way.

Woojeong, who fiddled with the hangnail around his finger, brought his hand to his mouth. At the end of the thinly torn bit of skin, stinging pain spread with the trace of blood

“We’ve arrived.”

Woojeong got out of the taxi and looked around in front of the gate.

Since there was no doorbell, he wondered how he should let them know he arrived, and while he worried about that, the gate opened by itself with a dull sound as if someone had been watching.

Woojeong walked along the long white path inside. Since it was a road he usually passed by car, it felt a little unfamiliar.

The scenery of the Snow Reflection Residence was beautiful, but it felt lonely because it was too large and too quiet. Han Jaegang lived alone in this big house.

Woojeong heard that there were servants going in and out, but until now he had never run into anyone other than Joo Yeongmo.

The first floor of the building was empty, and it seemed like there was no one moving around the second floor either. So the place where Han Jaegang stayed had an unusually cold silence.
Joo Yeongmo, who always greeted him warmly, didn’t appear today.

Woojeong got off the elevator on the third floor and stopped alone in front of the dark wooden door. He lifted his hand to knock, but in the end he couldn’t and let it drop.

“…….”

Suddenly he thought he wanted to just go back. But since he thought Han Jaegang might be waiting for him, Woojeong raised his hand again and carefully knocked.

Tok tok.

There was no sign inside. Did he not hear because the knock was too soft? He knocked harder, but this time too the door didn’t open.

Was there no one inside? Or was he asleep and couldn’t hear? What if there was no response at all? While Woojeong worried and was about to knock again.

“Ah.”

With a beep sound, the door lock was released. The door opened slowly, and through the gap Han Jaegang appeared.

The moment Woojeong met his eyes under the light of the hallway, he instinctively faltered and stepped back.

Standing in the doorway holding the handle, he looked down at Woojeong without a word. His face was rigid as if he was angry. Was it because he came late? Since it felt like he was being interrogated for a mistake, Woojeong reflexively lowered his gaze.

It was suffocating, like when he faced his stepmother or his brother right before they exploded.

Anxious because of the man’s silence, Woojeong began to stammer an apology as was his habit.

“You, you told me to come quickly……. I’m sorry I’m late. I left right after I saw the message, but there was no taxi, it was hard to get one, so it took a long time. I made you wait, so I…….”

But Woojeong couldn’t even finish speaking, and he was pulled inside by the rough force that pulled his wrist.

Han Jaegang slammed the front door shut, and he grabbed Woojeong’s shoulders and pushed him toward the shoe cabinet by the entrance.

“…..ugh.”

Woojeong’s back hit the hard door, but he was so startled that he couldn’t even feel the pain. His weak resistance was subdued completely by Han Jaegang’s hands that hold both his shoulders.

“Lee Woojeong…….”

His voice that called the name was low. Han Jaegang let out a long breath and lowered his head. The whites of his eyes, which were normally so clear they seemed bluish, were bloodshot red.

When Woojeong averted his gaze and turned his head, Han Jaegang’s hand that had held his shoulder slid up to his nape.

“Release your pheromones.”

“…….”

“Hurry.”

Woojeong’s pupils shook. Since pheromones were everything he always hid and suppressed, he didn’t know how to release them. And his head felt like it was in chaos because the one who demanded such a thing was Han Jaegang.

“I, I don’t know, how to do it….”

Woojeong shook his head and tried to push down his shoulder, but Han Jaegang, who stood tall like a wall, didn’t budge at all.

“How can you not know…….”

From his whispering voice, pheromones were spreading. His forceful behavior, his disordered tone, and the pheromones that drew unstable waves were all completely different from his usual self. That was why it was frightening. He wanted to run, but in front of the overwhelming difference in strength, Woojeong couldn’t move at all.

Han Jaegang was panting to the point his chest rose and fell. Searching for something, he scanned Woojeong’s ear and nape with his eyes. Then, as if it wasn’t enough like this, he grabbed Woojeong’s loose outer garment and pulled it off.

Woojeong’s eyes trembled in fear. He was so shocked that he couldn’t move, like his body was caught by something. Han Jaegang’s hand that covered Woojeong’s nape slid slowly into his hair. Han Jaegang, who wrapped his round back head, buried his face into the exposed nape.

“……!”

Woojeong felt his hot and damp breath on his nape. He felt like he would lose his mind. Han Jaegang, who embraced Woojeong so tightly that he couldn’t breathe, pressed his lips to the white nape and rubbed with his nose as he searched for Woojeong’s pheromones.

“S, stop!”

At the one phrase Woojeong barely managed to say, Han Jaegang raised his head. His gaze, with his brow furrowed, wandered distractedly over Woojeong’s pale face.

“They said you could be the answer.”

“Eh?”

“But why does nothing change?”

His sigh flowed into Woojeong’s ear that trembled in fear. His breath became more and more rough, and then the strength slowly drained from the hands that held Woojeong’s shoulders.

“Executive Director, please!”

Woojeong pushed Han Jaegang’s chest. He was pushed back, staggered, and stopped when he hit the wall. He lifted his hand and clutched his chest. Looking at Woojeong with a face full of pain, he collapsed to the floor.

“Ha…….”

Han Jaegang let out a long sigh and dropped his head. Woojeong, who leaned against the wall opposite, stared at him with anxious eyes. Even amid shock and confusion, he couldn’t take his eyes off the hand that gripped his chest. It was clear something was wrong.

“Executive Director…….”

What if he lost consciousness. When Woojeong called carefully, Han Jaegang slowly lifted his head. His face, with his brow furrowed, looked pained.

“A-Are you okay?”

Woojeong, who didn’t loosen his guard, approached him only close enough for his fingertips to barely reach him. When he shook his shoulder, Han Jaegang looked up at Woojeong for a moment, then he closed his eyes.

“Executive Director.”

After that, no matter how much Woojeong called, Han Jaegang showed no response. Did he really lose consciousness?

Woojeong hesitated for a long time, then he approached his side and knelt down. Woojeong carefully grabbed Han Jaegang’s shoulder and shook him.

“Executive Director….. please come to your senses.”

When Han Jaegang gave no answer, Woojeong, who hesitated for a moment, carefully placed his hand on his forehead.

His forehead where sweat beaded damply, was hot. Startled, Woojeong fumbled and touched his cheek and the nape of his neck.

Everywhere his hand touched was as hot as fire. He was so startled that he forgot for a moment what had happened earlier.

“You have a high fever. Executive Director. Are you sick?”

Since he broke out in cold sweat with a high fever, wouldn’t he be cold?

Woojeong looked around, he picked up his own jumper and covered Han Jaegang’s upper body. Compared to his physique it was ridiculously small, but now wasn’t the time to care about that.

“If your body is like this, you should’ve called someone earlier……. I’ll contact Secretary Joo right now.”

Woojeong took his phone out of his jumper pocket. He searched through the contacts and pressed Joo Yeongmo’s name, and after a few rings, the familiar voice came.

–Yes. This is Joo Yeongmo.

“Secretary Joo, right now Executive Director is a little strange. What should I do?”

–Yes? Woojeong-ssi. What are you suddenly saying….

“I’m at the Snow Reflection Residence right now. Executive Director collapsed. He has a high fever and even when I call, he can’t open his eyes well. What should I do? Should I call an ambulance?”

–Woojeong-ssi. I’ll send someone right away.

In the meantime….At that moment. Han Jaegang, who opened his eyes, snatched the phone from Woojeong’s hand. He raised the phone to his ear and spoke in a cracked voice.

“….Wait until I contact you again.”

Click.

Han Jaegang hung up and put the phone down on the floor. With his brow furrowed, he breathed harshly. Seeing him look in pain, Woojeong fidgeted anxiously.

What should he do if something happened to this person? Other than contacting Joo Yeongmo, he couldn’t think of other way.

“Should I at least bring you water?”

When Woojeong asked as he looked at his lips that were dried pale, Han Jaegang shook his head.

He groped the floor and grabbed Woojeong’s hand. Then he pulled that hand and placed it on his chest. When the flustered Woojeong tried to pull his hand away, he use more strength.

“…….”

The movement that was felt under the palm wasn’t normal. Han Jaegang’s heart was beating irregularly and fast. It was such a violent throb that it felt like it would explode through his solid chest muscle.

It was frightening enough to suddenly make him worry that it might stop altogether.

On top of that, his pheromone was also abnormally dense. The heavy and strong scent unique to a dominant alpha rose slowly, and in a moment it surrounded Woojeong. His breath was blocked. With dizziness that made his sight spin, Woojeong, who lost balance for a moment, grabbed Han Jaegang’s arm.

Han Jaegang supported Woojeong’s waist. Relief lasted only briefly, since the hot hand that touched Woojeong’s cheek wrapped his nape and pulled him.

“Haa…….”

Breath filled with pheromone brushed past his nose. Before startled Woojeong could even gather his senses, a hot and soft sensation came down on his lips. In an instant his hearing was cut off, and it felt like the sound of his beating heart was echoing inside his head.