PO 23

Woojeong covered his mouth from the nausea and he ran to the bathroom. As soon as he entered he opened the toilet lid and he bent over.

“Haa….”

He hadn’t eaten all day so he couldn’t even vomit properly. When he groaned for a long time from the queasy feeling and stepped out of the stall, Yoon Ijun was waiting at the sink.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

“…Yeah.”

Woojeong answered weakly and he turned on the water of the sink. He scooped water into his hands, rinsed his mouth several times and he wiped his sweat soaked face. His stomach calmed a little and he felt like he barely came back to his senses.

Yoon Ijun, who had been watching him at his side, held out the bottled water that he had been tucking under his arm. When Woojeong took it and said thanks, Yoon Ijun lifted his shoulder in a shrug.

“Your face looks totally like a rice cake right now.”

Woojeong smiled faintly. He could see that himself so he had nothing to say. When he calmed his breath while leaning on the sink for a while, warmth started to return little by little to his fingers that had been cold like ice.

“What? You still don’t feel well?”

“No. I guess it upset my stomach because I suddenly ate on an empty stomach.”

“Should I go buy medicine?”

“I feel better now.”

Woojeong turned his eyes toward the noisy door and he sighed. When he thought about going back to where Han Jaegang and Lee Doyoung were, he felt his chest tighten again.

Woojeong’s head was on the verge of exploding. He answered everything Lee Doyoung said and he did everything he told him to do but he couldn’t look his brother in the eye. When he was with Han Jaegang he couldn’t even clearly remember what he had said.

“Let’s step outside for a moment and get some air.”

“…….”

“Come on, quickly.”

Woojeong followed behind Yoon Ijun who smiled and gestured with his hand. To Woojeong, who was about to be overwhelmed by the endless chain of thoughts, it was a grateful offer.

When he stepped outside, Woojeong inhaled. The unusually long winter had already passed and the season had already changed. The night air that lost its chill and was warmth.

Yoon Ijun, who had disappeared saying he would make a call, appeared with a cold canned drink in his hand. He tossed it to Woojeong, who was crouched beside the pillar of the building, and he sat down a little distance away.

He could have asked what was wrong, but Yoon Ijun fiddled only with his phone without speaking. Thanks to that Woojeong could have a moment to himself.

When he stared at the cars passing in front of the road, Woojeong suddenly muttered.

“Crazy….”

The words that slipped out of his mouth disappeared into the air. Woojeong hugged his knees and he buried his face.

There was a separate reason he hadn’t felt well all along. From the moment he heard that they would come to the gallery, Woojeong grew anxious worrying that he might run into Han Jaegang. He tried not to get caught in his eyes but it didn’t go as he wanted.

In the end he met him. Han Jaegang walked up smiling calmly and he spoke as if nothing had happened.

“Who said that I came to see Lee Doyoung? Did you avoid my calls on purpose? Were you scare that if you were with me your brother might find out?”

His voice, as he grabbed his hand and asking him as if he was angry, kept echoing in his ears. Woojeong feared him who acted kind and then suddenly turned cold.

The one who should have gotten angry wasn’t him. After he had driven a person so suddenly and treated him carelessly….

Woojeong ruffled the back of his head and he lowered his eyes to the ground.

That day when he was last called to Snow Reflection Residence, Woojeong also knew that Han Jaegang wasn’t normal. His actions were strange too, but because of the pheromones that had completely changed from usual, he couldn’t fail to notice.

He himself, swept away by his pheromones, hadn’t been in his right mind. So he couldn’t harshly push away Han Jaegang who touched his body and stimulated his private parts. In that moment he didn’t entirely hate the unfamiliar feeling.

Could it be that Han Jaegang also doesn’t remember that day like him when he was in heat? Or was something like that nothing to him? So that even in front of his brother he could smile calmly and look at him like that….

“What are you doing here? Oh, Woojeong-ssi was here too?”

Woojeong leaned his head against the cold wall, and he raised his head at the sound of movement. Yoon Hyunjun opened the door and walked out. When he saw Lee Doyoung following behind him, Woojeong quickly got up.

“Why are you sitting on the ground like that?”

“… I was getting some air for a bit.”

“This is good timing. I had something to say to you, Woojeong-ssi.” What could Yoon Hyunjun possibly have to say? With everything in the world having become a matter of caution, Woojeong waited for his words under tension.

“I said this to Lee Doyoung too on the way out, but Woojeong-ssi, come to our workshop next week. We have a class. It will be very fun.”

Yoon Hyunjun, who gave an offer Woojeong had not expected, explained about the class in simple terms. It was a premium program that lasted five days, and he showed his pride by saying it was on another level compared to the one-day classes people usually imagined.

“It is a beginner course, but the results cannot even be compared to other workshops. Do you know why? Because this is Yoon Workshop.”

Whenever Lee Doyoung’s eyes met Woojeong’s, he sent him a look that told him to refuse. If it had been like usual, Woojeong would have followed his will without hesitation, but he deliberately ignored it.

Metalwork was a field that Woojeong had felt interest in for a long time. He had never had the chance to learn it directly, but through videos and books and materials he had continued to pursue it with steady interest. The famous artist who would lead the class was someone Woojeong had always wanted to meet once.

“I told you it is fun. Do you want to join too, Lee Doyoung-ssi?”

“I am busy so I probably cannot. What about you. If you are interested, try joining once.”

Lee Doyoung spoke casually words that weren’t from his heart. He believed Woojeong would naturally follow whatever he told him to do.

But Woojeong couldn’t answer easily. He wanted it desperately, but to actually put it into words was another matter. Will it be okay? Can I really do it? A flood of thoughts appeared and disappeared in his head.

He also watched for Lee Doyoung’s reaction. As he had always done until now, it might have been easier just to follow what he said.

But this time, his desire was too strong. He thought if he missed this chance he would regret it for a long time, so he couldn’t bring himself to say words of refusal. His desire to do it weighed heavier than his fear.

“Is this really something to agonize over this much?”

The sudden voice made them react. At some point, Han Jaegang was standing beside Doyoung. He naturally wrapped his arm over Doyoung’s shoulder, and he said.

“Try joining once. Think about the goodwill of the brother who cares for you like this.”

“Yeah, Woojeong-ah. Try it once.”

Feeling good, Lee Doyoung added a word, siding with Han Jaegang. At that moment, Han Jaegang tilted his head slightly, in a way only Woojeong could see. It was like a signal telling him that now was the time to answer.

“…I, I want to try it.”

“Okay. You made a good decision.”

Yoon Hyunjun welcomed Woojeong’s decision. Woojeong, who had blurted out the answer, checked Lee Doyoung’s face first. He had thought he would get angry, but unexpectedly, he was talking with Han Jaegang with a calm face.

Woojeong sighed in relief and he quietly stood at Doyoung’s side.

•••

As the party neared its end, Han Jaegang offered to drive the two of them. Lee Doyoung brightened at those words and he decided to leave his car at the gallery parking lot. He did complain when he realized late that Woojeong had to ride with them too, but soon he acted indifferent as if it didn’t matter whether he was there or not.

“They say everyone has a time when they become independent. I think I am at that time these days. I envy friends who live alone too much. Jaegang-ssi, you probably find it hard to understand these feelings.” While he rested his hand on Han Jaegang’s arm as he drove, Lee Doyoung asked as if it suddenly came to his mind.

“Right. They say you call Jaegang-ssi’s house Snow Reflection Residence?”

Lee Doyoung said he had only gone there once, but he remembered it because it was so beautiful, and he asked about Snow Reflection Residence.

“Yes. My mother gave it that name.”

“My god. She chose such a fitting name. The whole house looked so elegant. The entire first floor was open, so it looked like a banquet hall.”

“It is only empty because no one uses it. That way it is easier to manage.”

“Don’t you feel lonely living alone in such a big house? If I lived in Snow Reflection Residence I think I would invite people every day. I don’t really like being alone. I get lonely very easily.”

“Well. Because I use only the third floor most of the time, I don’t really feel that it is big.”

When Lee Doyoung stopped talking, silence fell inside the car. It looked like the conversation was continuing, but Han Jaegang only gave simple answers to the things Lee Doyoung asked. When he realized that, Lee Doyoung, who had became gloomy for a moment, forced a lively voice.

“Then the third floor of Snow Reflection Residence must be entirely your taste, Jaegang-ssi? I am so curious what it feels like there.”

Woojeong didn’t want to eavesdrop on the two men’s conversation, but inside the car there was no way to avoid it. Even though Lee Doyoung kept showing his wish to visit Snow Reflection Residence, Han Jaegang, who held the wheel, fixed his eyes on the road ahead and kept silent.

“Can’t you invite me once? I am so curious how you usually live, Jaegang-ssi.”

Lee Doyoung asked again more directly, maybe because he thought Han Jaegang hadn’t heard him properly.

“Since all I do is wash and sleep, there is nothing to show you. What should I do?”

“I don’t care. That is exactly what I am curious about. Things like how you live an ordinary life.”

The third floor of Snow Reflection Residence, the space Han Jaegang lived in, was more like a well-ordered hotel room than a house. Even when Woojeong was there, all he did was return late at night to finish his work or rest briefly on the sofa.

The house, where almost no one came and went except Han Jaegang, had no warmth. Even when the heating worked well, it often felt cold in some way.

Woojeong, who had already gone there many times and spent time there, felt uneasy about the place Lee Doyoung was so desperate to see.

As the car that had stopped at the signal started moving, Woojeong raised his head unconsciously and he met Han Jaegang’s eyes in the rearview mirror as he looked at him. Woojeong pretended to stay calm and he turned his gaze away.

“I don’t usually let other people into the place I rest.”

“……”

“If there is a chance, I will invite you once.”

“Really? I am already looking forward to it.”

Han Jaegang, who settled Lee Doyoung’s demand with a formal answer, half-opened the window. The wind that rushed in drove out in an instant the stifling air that had filled the interior. He rested his arm on the driver’s window frame, and he stared at the front.

Even in such light conversation, Woojeong never joined in. When Lee Doyoung joked and laughed, all he did was smile faintly. Conversation or emotional exchange between family didn’t come naturally.

“Today I feel strangely tired. Was it because there were many people.”

“Close your eyes for a bit.”

“How could I do that. You are driving with effort, Jaegang-ssi.”

Han Jaegang already guessed to some degree that Woojeong’s family had some problem. If he had watched Woojeong until now and not realized it, that would have been the stranger thing.

“Woojeong-ssi, you look tired too.”

“…I am fine.”

“I guess I shouldn’t have drunk. Since it has been a long time since I met you, Jaegang-ssi, I feel too regretful to part like this.”

To be honest, until now he had cared only that Woojeong’s pretty face might get a blemish, and he hadn’t held much interest. The reason he cared now about his family circumstances was because Woojeong was no longer just an object of curiosity.

“We can see each other again next time.”

To watch and guess from the side and to confirm properly were clearly different.

For Han Jaegang, the desire to monopolize was a natural and familiar emotion. Once he had brought Woojeong inside his boundary, he needed to understand him properly.