PO 59

Late at night, Han Jaegang’s car was driving on the highway. Since he drove the same road every day, the scenery around him had become familiar.

He sat alone in the quiet car and focused on driving, and he answered the incoming call.

“Hello.”

– Executive Director. Brill Energy sent a reply. They said they want to have a meeting on site at the beginning of next month and make the final decision, so what should we do?

“The beginning of next month is difficult. Try to arrange it with Manager Yang attending.”

– I did tell them that, but they want to meet you in person.

Han Jaegang stayed silent for a moment. To go to Chile without a direct flight, it took a full day on the plane alone. Even if he handled the local schedule as quickly as possible, he had to prepare for four to five days for a round trip. If it had been the old him, he would have bought the plane ticket first, but now there was something more important. Han Jaegang did not hesitate long and he spoke.

“Tell them that schedule is impossible. If they want to work with me, they’ll make another proposal. Consider inviting them to Korea, they can tour around while they are here.”

– I’ll proceed that way. Um… but are you really alright? Commuting every day from Seoul to Gangwon Province is honestly unbelievable. You don’t think your body is made of iron?”

“Keep the nagging in moderation. My ears are about to hurt.” Han Jaegang answered with a laugh. Since Woojeong had been discharged, he had been finishing work at Han Jaehee’s house, then going back to Seoul at dawn.

Kim Junghyun and Joo Yeongmo could not hide their shock at the sight of someone who had barely gotten through a dangerous period driving long distances every day. The two of them tried hard to stop him, but Han Jaegang could not do as they said.

– …Executive Director. From the position of someone who has been watching both of you until now, can I dare say something?

“What is it again?”

Joo Yeongmo’s nagging increased day by day. He knew the words were for his sake, but words of truth always carried bitterness when heard.

– Just be honest. Whatever conflict it is, that’s the best way to resolve it.

“…Be honest?”

– Yes. Don’t assume the other side already knows, don’t assume saying it is useless, don’t make guesses like that. Say everything as it is. Not everyone thinks and acts the same way I do.

When Joo Yeongmo finished speaking, silence lingered inside the car. Normally he would never have spoken about Han Jaegang’s private matters. Understanding that it was something he had spoken with difficulty out of pity for his superior, Han Jaegang slightly raised the corner of his lips.

“I’ll take that to heart. Thanks for the advice.”

– I thank you too.

“…Let’s take the weekend off. Don’t get the wrong idea and come to work.”

– There’s no way. I’ll rest well too. Drive safe, Executive Director.

After hanging up, he checked the time left until he reached his destination. In about an hour, he could see Woojeong.

Everyone tried to stop him, but the days of about ten days that had continued were a necessary journey for him. During the drives, he could arrange his thoughts in the car, and when he arrived at his destination, he could meet Woojeong.

For Woojeong, who had collapsed from the effects of pregnancy, receiving enough pheromones from an alpha was the most important thing. But he could not use only that reason to persuade him. If Woojeong stubbornly insisted on going somewhere else like before, he could not force him.

Fortunately, Woojeong had to take medicine for a certain period to prevent miscarriage, and the medicine contained sedative ingredients that helped him sleep.

Every night, Han Jaegang secretly slipped into Woojeong’s room while he slept and spent the night at his side.

It might have looked like excessive behavior to others, but for him it was something he had to do. His body felt a little tired, but he did not think it was hard.

The first night he went to see Woojeong, he quietly entered the room and released as much pheromone as possible. Just as Woojeong’s pheromone had saved him, now the fact that his pheromone was the only way to make Woojeong comfortable gave him a strange feeling.

He could only see Woojeong from late at night until dawn, just a few hours. Even though it was only watching Woojeong while he slept, it was a very special time for him.

Han Jaegang had never looked at someone for so long. He had never taken care of someone sick or waited for someone before.

Was Woojeong trembling like this too when he first sought out Snow Reflection Residence? He felt as if the mistake he committed against Woojeong back then was being returned to him in this way.

Han Jaegang watched Woojeong sleeping peacefully thanks to in his pheromones all night, and only at dawn did he leave the room.

The next day, Woojeong, who had been sleeping well, kept tossing in his sleep. Han Jaegang’s chest grew heavy at the weak sound of Woojeong’s breathing as he kept touching his stomach as if felt pain even in his sleep.

Han Jaegang went to the bed. He bent his back and placed his hand on Woojeong’s back. When he carefully patted his back as if he were soothing a child, Woojeong’s breathing gradually started to become calm.

On nights when no one was around, how had he endured whenever he suffered from pain like now? When he found out he was pregnant, what had he felt? When he could not tell anyone and then realized he had been used, what state of mind had he been in?

While Han Jaegang was lost in the thoughts that followed one after another, Woojeong whispered something, he was sleep-talking.

“Executive Director…”

Was he dreaming? His closed eyelashes trembled, and soon a tear slid down his eye.

Woojeong’s trembling breaths sounded pitiful, as if he was sorrowful even in his dream. Han Jaegang reached out, wiped away the tear, and whispered softly.

“I’m sorry.”

He swallowed dryly, bent his back, and kissed Woojeong’s forehead.

“It’s all my fault.”

Could Woojeong really forgive him? For the first time in his life, Han Jaegang bit his molars in fear that he might be abandoned by someone.

On the fifth day, when he came to see Woojeong, Han Jaegang sat on the floor beside the bed. He leaned his head against the mattress and looked at Woojeong for a long time, then spoke.

“You eat well without vomiting now?”

In just a few days, Woojeong was showing improvement. Han Jaehee had conveyed the news that Woojeong no longer vomited as much as before when he ate.

“Since you sleep well at night, you’ll keep getting better.” The news that Woojeong was safely recovering made his fatigue feel as if it was washed away.

“Right now the Snow Reflection Residence is full of blossoms, and the fragrance carries from afar. In autumn, the leaves are so splendid, you still haven’t seen them, right? You’ll surely like them when you see them.” Han Jaegang had moved his quarters from the first floor of Snow Reflection Residence to the third floor because of the desolation that the wide space gave. After Woojeong came to live there, he had renovated the first floor and stayed there again, and now he thought of that space as home.

“…It’s really strange. I’ve lived all my life in the Snow Reflection Residence, so why does it feel bleak and desolate now? For a while I always carried the words ‘I’m going home,’ but now those words don’t come out.” But a house without Woojeong had returned to being a lonely space as before. Han Jaegang found the time spent alone in the Snow Reflection Residence painful.

“Maybe a place without you isn’t home.”

He said in a small voice while carefully stroking Woojeong’s cheek.

“When can we go home? When will you come home?”

Deeply asleep, Woojeong gave no answer. Han Jaegang smiled sadly.

On the seventh day, Woojeong, who had been sleeping soundly, suddenly opened his eyes. He looked at Han Jaegang without any sign of surprise and blinked slowly.

The one who was startled instead was Han Jaegang. Woojeong, who stared blankly at him in his rigid state of surprise, suddenly stretched his arms toward him. It was the same gesture he sometimes made back when they stayed together in the Snow Reflection Residence, asking him to hold him.

Sitting on a small stool, Han Jaegang silently moved to the bed and bent his back. Woojeong wrapped his arms around his neck and hugged him.

When Woojeong’s soft skin touched him and the sweet scent came close, Han Jaegang struggled to suppress his trembling chest.

He wondered if Woojeong had woken up, but Woojeong’s eyes remained closed. Thinking it was a movement in his sleep, he gently patted his back, but Woojeong wouldn’t let him go.

In the end, Han Jaegang was pulled into the bed by him. As soon as he lay down beside him, Woojeong burrowed into his arms as if he had been waiting.

“Ha…”

Woojeong rested his head on Han Jaegang’s clumsily extended arm and hugged his waist. He rubbed his forehead against his chest several times, then seemed to fall asleep again.

Han Jaegang barely suppressed his trembling breath. It had been too long since Woojeong had embraced him. He filled his arms with Woojeong’s thin body and breathed in Woojeong’s fragrance. The longed-for scent filled his chest.

Why had he not known the value of such moments? Why had he acted so foolishly? Why had he not looked into his heart properly and turned away? Why had he not realized sooner that he was hurting someone precious?

“Woojeong-ah. Should we go together…”

Waves of regret washed over him. Han Jaegang spent the entire night awake, holding his precious one in his arms.

•••

“Woojeong-ssi. Go inside and sleep.”

Woojeong felt a tap on his shoulder and he startled awake. He did not know when she had come near, but Han Jaehee tapped his hand telling him not to be alarmed.

“You should sleep comfortably, why are you sitting like this? Did you… not sleep well at night?”

“No. I slept well. I think I’ve just gotten more sleep.”

“They say that’s normal when you’re pregnant.”

At Han Jaehee’s words, who was wearing a work apron as if she had come from painting, Woojeong smiled awkwardly. These days, Woojeong often napped several times a day. It seemed he had fell asleep again after eating dinner and resting a little.

“The peaches taste so good. Try some.”

Han Jaehee handed him the plate of fruit that the aunt had prepared. After the fact that Woojeong was pregnant became known, her house had been full of fresh fruit. Among the best fruit, every piece that was prettiest and most tempting belonged to Woojeong.

“If peaches aren’t good, there’s other fruit too. Grapes, plums, melons, mangos. Is there anything you crave?”

“This is enough.”

Woojeong stopped her when she tried to move the wheelchair and picked up the fork. He had never been fond of fruit, but these days he ate more fruit than meals.

“You have to eat everything you want to eat for a pretty baby to be born. If you think of anything, tell me right away. I also prepared plenty of desserts you like.”

“Thank you. But I can’t eat that much. If I want something, I’ll tell you, so don’t buy it beforehand.”

“Ah, that… it’s not something I can control.”

“What?”

“There’s someone who takes care of it. It’s good to eat plentifully. I want to see you gain weight, so eat well and rest well first.”

These days Woojeong was living more comfortably than before. Thanks to the medicine from the hospital, his morning sickness was lighter, and the abdominal pain that used to come without warning also subsided. Most of all, his anxiety lessened after confirming that the baby inside him was healthy. It was also fortunate that Han Jaehee, who had found out about his pregnancy, still looked at him with warm eyes.

“…There are countless things I should thank you for. At that time, because you called me here, I lived comfortably.”

“Why thank me for something like that in such an awkward way??If my younger brother likes someone, what couldn’t I do for him?”

She carefully looked after Woojeong, who had suddenly come to her one day. She took care of him with all her sincerity, so much that she thought she could not even do that much for her real younger brother.

“I plan… to tell Executive Director about the baby.”

“You thought very well. Don’t suffer alone, and tell him.”

“But what if Executive Director doesn’t like it…?”

“There’s no way.”

Han Jaehee smiled gently while looking at Woojeong with affectionate eyes. Woojeong felt warmth greater than family.

“He’ll absolutely, definitely like it. If he doesn’t, then you can raise the baby here with me. You don’t need to be afraid of anything. Alright?”

After saying goodnight to her and returning to his room, Woojeong picked up his phone. Han Jaegang called three times a day, at fixed times. Woojeong still did not answer the calls, but Han Jaegang kept calling at the set times as if he was telling him to answer when he was ready, and he sent one message at a time.

The contents were not serious. He only asked simple things like whether he had eaten or whether he had slept well, or he sent photos he took himself.

Woojeong often looked back at the photos he sent many times. Whenever he saw the photos of the garden in the early morning, or the living room with sunlight, or certain places in the Snow Reflection Residence that he liked, he felt longing. For him, it was a place with more good memories left than the house he had lived in since childhood.

[ I’m waiting. ]

Whenever he saw the message he sent, Woojeong felt as if he could hear Han Jaegang’s voice. Han Jaegang conveyed many things in that short phrase.

Woojeong, who habitually buried his nose in his cardigan sleeve, tilted his head. Han Jaegang’s scent, which had been fading, strangely felt stronger again. Woojeong lifted the hem of his clothes to his nose, took a deep breath, and closed his collar tightly to hold his scent close.

In truth, even the moment he left Snow Reflection Residence, he thought of him. Even while being apart, Han Jaegang never left Woojeong’s mind for even a moment. So he even dreamed of him.

Han Jaegang stayed by his side while he was sleeping. Even though the room was dim and his face could not be seen clearly, Woojeong could recognize him just from the outline of his shadow and the sound of his breathing.

Even in the dream, his scent was deep and rich. When he slowly took deep breaths in that thick pheromone, he felt comfortable.

He spoke to Woojeong in a calm voice. He asked about his daily life, and he mentioned past matters and confessed that he was sorry.

Even while thinking all of that was an illusion, sometimes the sound of breathing near his ear and the warm touch brushing his cheek felt real. At those times, Woojeong closed his eyes tighter. He did not want to wake from that dream.

Woojeong picked up the medicine packet on top of the drawer. The doctor explained that if the symptoms of morning sickness lessened, he could stop taking the medicine, and Woojeong had not taken it since the first few days. Even though the doctor said there was no harm to the baby, it still weighed on his mind.

Woojeong put the medicine packet back on top of the cupboard and turned off the light. Lying on the bed, he closed his eyes.

Late at night, Woojeong’s door opened quietly. He wasn’t asleep yet, but he did not turn back. The figure that entered the room without turning on the light came close to Woojeong.