SDT 71

Chapter 71: Feelings Have Changed

After the afternoon interrogation concluded, Yu Xiaowen was escorted back to the detention cell. As the logistics staff member passed by, she noticed Yu Xiaowen looking drained and on the verge of collapse. She made a move to tend to him, but a detective colleague gave her a warning look and led her away.

Lu Kongyun sat beside the bed, took a thermometer, and placed it under Yu Xiaowen’s arm.

Yu Xiaowen did indeed have a fever.

His poor mental state caused insomnia, and he had nightmares almost every night. He hadn’t slept properly in ages. His weak constitution couldn’t withstand the consequences. The sudden fever triggered heat waves, climbing nearly to 39 degrees Celsius, making the entire detention cell feel like a sauna.

Fortunately, he still wore the medical wristband Lu Kongyun had given him, preventing any excessive display. He simply felt unbearably hot, as if he were being boiled alive, unable to think clearly. His mind was filled with chaotic, fragmented images.

Lu Kongyun sat on the stool beside him, holding a water cup in one hand while handling work on his phone with the other.

“I have work I must finish tonight. I’ll be leaving soon,” he told Yu Xiaowen. “I’ll have your colleague administer your medication as prescribed. You must take it.”

Tears had dried into crusts at the corners of Yu Xiaowen’s eyes. His voice was muffled and indistinct.

Lu Kongyun put down his phone and gently wiped away the unsightly crust with his fingertips.

Yu Xiaowen’s eyelids fluttered as he pulled his collar open again, revealing his flushed neck glistening with a thin sheen of sweat. He tried to tug harder, but Lu Kongyun stopped him. He draped the military jacket over the quilt too, wrapping him up tightly, completely sealed.

Yu Xiaowen suddenly struggled violently again: “Don’t go! Don’t go!”

…

Yu Xiaowen softened again, murmuring, “Do it gently… you… don’t mind me…”

“…”

After an unknown period of time, he stirred groggily from another nightmare. Thanks to the medication, however, his mind wasn’t as clouded as before. Drained, he managed to ask, “Where am I?”

“A luxury hotel.”

Lu Kongyun, who was sitting nearby handling work on his phone, replied.

“Huh?” Yu Xiaowen looked around and realized he was back in the detention cell. Seeing the darkening sky beyond the barred window, he said, “How could I see you if I woke up in a detention cell? This is a dream.”

He rubbed his face, sniffed the military jacket pressed beneath the quilt, then hugged it affectionately, resting his flushed cheeks against the fabric.

“I’ve started dreaming. Let me show you one.” Yu Xiaowen closed his eyes. “To the future. I want to see you, wrinkled and healthy, happily cuddling a puppy while basking in the sun.”

He opened his eyes, but the scene remained unchanged. Lu Kongyun across from him still looked as young and captivating as ever.

“…” He closed his eyes again. “…Switch to any ordinary day in your life. I want to sneak a peek at what books you read besides medical textbooks. How come you’re so good at that?”

He opened his eyes. The scene remained unchanged. The two of them were still lying on the bed, looking at each other. But the other person explained: “I’ve never read that kind of thing. I’m just good at imagining.”

Yu Xiaowen froze for a moment before saying, “What? So that intricate wire swan and the folding technique for the egg, you imagined all that yourself?”

Lu Kongyun: “.”

Yu Xiaowen: “I thought you learned from craft books… You’re really talented, so imaginative. No wonder even as a virgin, you could come up with so many variations on Banana Mountain.”

Lu Kongyun: “…”

He closed his eyes again: “I want to go back to when you were a child, to see how this adorable little one grew up.”

He opened his eyes, but the scene remained unchanged.

“Forget it.” He closed his eyes again. “Dreams don’t come just because you want them to. Lately, I’ve been dreaming about you every night, nothing but nightmares. Let’s just call this an intermission…”

“Why are all your dreams about me nightmares?” Lu Kongyun asked.

Huh?

Yu Xiaowen sat up, ran his fingers through his damp hair, rubbed his flushed cheeks, and looked across the room.

Lu Kongyun sat on a chair nearby, watching him with an icy voice: “Why are all your dreams about me nightmares?”

“…” Damn it! Yu Xiaowen sucked in a breath, propping himself up on the bed to sit a bit more upright. It really didn’t seem like a dream.

Yu Xiaowen felt awkward, covering his face with both hands. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m about to leave,” Lu Kongyun said.

Yu Xiaowen picked up the military uniform and handed it to him.

“Why do you only have nightmares when you dream about me?” Lu Kongyun asked again.

Yu Xiaowen hesitated for a moment before lowering his hand. He looked at Lu Kongyun and decided to be honest: “Ms. Chen told me you went to see Chen Jian… After that, I kept dreaming about the look in your eyes when you said, ‘I can jump.’ It scared me.”

Lu Kongyun fell silent for a moment before asking, “You’re afraid of me now?”

“No way!” Yu Xiaowen shook her head. “I’m afraid I’ll drag you down, pulling you into the mess of my life. You had such a good life, but I ruined two years of it. I don’t want to keep hurting you.”

Tears suddenly welled up in his eyes without warning. He quickly wiped them away. “Why did you do all this for me?”

He could hear the clamor outside the detention room, but inside, it was quiet. Lu Kongyun sat across from him, looking at him, seeming out of place in this stark environment.

Lu Kongyun said, “You risked your life for public safety, refusing to dodge the gunman’s point-blank fire. The bullet grazed your heart by just two centimeters, you nearly died. You still bear a large scar from that.”

Yu Xiaowen froze in surprise.

“When you were sick, you couldn’t even muster the strength to catch a thief. But when you caught a major suspect, you’d roll around in mud and chaos if you had to, just to pin that criminal beneath you.”

Yu Xiaowen：“……”

“Feeling alone and unburdened, you often took risks to solve cases by volunteering for undercover work. Even after being slapped in the face by a despicable scoundrel, you still greeted him with a smile.”

After a pause, Lu Kongyun added, “You casually dropped two completely unexpected lines, then abruptly deleted my contact info to take a team member’s place on a mission. You ended up horribly injured and thrown off a cliff. Knowing all this, I just couldn’t accept that outcome. It wasn’t out of pity for you. Everything I’ve done stems from my own choices. These past two years, I’ve never once regretted it. I don’t see it as a quagmire, so you needn’t think about compensating me.”

Yu Xiaowen remained silent for a long time. He clutched the quilt, struggling to hold back his emotions.

After a while, he let go of the quilt.

Then he pulled back the covers, stepped out of bed, slipped on his shoes, and tiptoed over to Lu Kongyun. The small iron stool welded to the table was slightly low, making Yu Xiaowen appear quite small as he sat on it. He raised both arms to rest them across his chest, tilting his face up to look at Lu Kongyun.

He noticed sweat glistening on the other’s neck, carrying subtle pheromones. Yet Dr. Lu, who was very particular about cleanliness, hadn’t turned on the air conditioner nor opened the window beyond the bars for ventilation.

Because he had a fever.

Yu Xiaowen felt his arms tremble as he felt a long-forgotten warmth that was almost unbearable. He wiped his eyes. They were still red, but there was no sign of tears forming again.

“…Dr. Lu, you believe I’m a good officer and couldn’t accept this outcome?” Yu Xiaowen looked up at him with an expression full of reverence and awe. “You did all this for me? I find it… hard to believe. This sentiment could be described as really great.”

“…” Lu Kongyun opened his mouth, but after a long moment, no sound came out.

“I realize how selfish and petty my actions toward you have been,” Yu Xiaowen exhaled. I paled in comparison.”

Then he laid his arms flat on his lap and gazed reverently at Lu Kongyun once more.

“I’ve come to terms with it. Only by cooperating fully can I live up to your efforts. To avoid dragging you down, I must prove Yu Xiaowen’s innocence. Only then can I minimize further trouble for you, resolve this case faster, and help your life return to normal sooner.”

“Good to know,” Lu Kongyun said. His eyes returned to the phone screen.

“Thank you. Really, thank you.”

Yu Xiaowen scratched his knee with his fingertips, then hesitated before speaking solemnly: “…Lu Kongyun, can I confess my feelings to you?”

“What?”

Lu Kongyun’s screen flashed with a notification. He dismissed it.

Lu Kongyun’s screen flashed with something again. He turned it off once more.

“Do you want to check the message first?” he asked.

“Nothing important,” Lu Kongyun replied.

Yu Xiaowen spoke carefully: “I realize that my blackmail two years ago, along with my words, were irresponsible disruptions to your life. Because I was certain you wouldn’t believe me back then, I spoke casually, and that’s precisely what made you feel disrespected. Now, I want to tell you this properly.”

Lu Kongyun: “What do you want to say?”

Yu Xiaowen stared into the other’s eyes. Lu Kongyun’s expression remained unchanged, yet beneath the shifting light of the phone screen, his eyes seemed to be sparkling.

Images from the past surfaced in Yu Xiaowen’s mind.

He told the victim, “Kiss me.”

He told the victim, “it’s an order.”

Yu Xiaowen liked it; Yu Xiaowen blackmailed.

The victim claimed he trusted Yu Xiaowen. He spent two years trying to prove his innocence.

“You’re the best person I’ve ever met in my life, the only one I’ve ever liked,” Yu Xiaowen said. “I say ‘ever liked’ because I had a crush on you back in middle school…”

After a moment, Lu Kongyun said, “Had.”

Yu Xiaowen spoke carefully, “Later, well, that feeling changed.”

A few seconds of silence followed.

“When was it later?” Lu Kongyun asked. “Two years ago?”

“It started around two years ago,” Yu Xiaowen said, “but there wasn’t a specific turning point. It changed gradually as I got to know you better. However, I only formally acknowledged this feeling a few days ago. The doctor in Shijia Valley told me that over the past two years, he often saw you.”

Yu Xiaowen couldn’t help covering his face again. He fought to regain control for a moment. Then he lowered his hands and looked at Lu Kongyun once more. “Thinking about you, sick as you were, going to Shijia over and over to search for clues… In that moment, I really… wished you’d never remembered me at all.”

Lu Kongyun blinked, causing his lashes to flutter almost imperceptibly.

“So,” his voice was low, “you really do think what I’ve done is a burden.”

“Of course not!” Yu Xiaowen immediately clarified. “My gratitude toward you is beyond words. From now on, I will live as Yu Xiaowen, happily and with integrity, and never betray your kindness.”

“Then I don’t understand why you suddenly wanted me to forget you,” Lu Kongyun said. “It’s precisely because I remember you that I sought you out.”

“…Hmm.”

Yu Xiaowen didn’t know how to explain this seemingly contradictory yet genuinely positive emotion born from growth and self-sacrifice. For Lu Kongyun, a reserved individual beloved by many yet untouched by love, it felt rather complicated.

After pondering for a moment, he told the other person: “When I first fell for you, it felt like the space in my chest was too small, it couldn’t contain my affection at all. My heart felt like it was about to explode. It was magical, the most incredible feeling in the world. Because only you could give me that sensation, if I couldn’t see you, it would vanish forever. I’d feel lost and longing, tormented as if my heart were being burned over and over, with no escape. That’s why I dream of you seeing me too, and even feel a fair share of jealousy toward every Omega who walks beside you.”

Yu Xiaowen was so blunt it made him blush, but this last time, he refused to beat around the bush.

“You probably can’t understand this feeling, right? After all, you’ve never had the chance to experience a crush.”

Lu Kongyun didn’t answer.

Yu Xiaowen placed his hand over his heart, as if he was sensing this feeling to convey it more accurately to the other person.

“But now, I feel calm. It’s as if a gateway has opened within this small space, revealing boundless horizons beyond. I’m beginning to understand, just meeting you has already given me so much. With you in this world, I will forever find joy in this world that has you.”

I love you. I love you. He whispered again in his heart.

So Yu Xiaowen took two deep breaths, his voice hoarse as he spoke plainly: “I think that unhealthy obsession I had for you has finally been purified and transformed.”

Lu Kongyun continued to stare at him expressionless, seemingly unmoved by the words.

“So, I won’t bother you anymore. I absolutely won’t be a burden to you. We—” Yu Xiaowen couldn’t hold back, his voice catching for a moment before he forced a smile. “Let’s just be ordinary friends. When I send you a ‘Happy New Year’ message during the holidays, you can just say ‘Thanks.’ No need for much else.”

His eyes shone brightly as he extended his hand. “I sincerely apologize again for what happened two years ago. That persistent, annoying blackmailer who kept hounding you will never appear again. Now I’m just a decent, ordinary friend. I know you did all this without expecting anything in return, and I can’t repay you either. But I want you to know, you’ve done so much for me, and I’ll be forever grateful. Whenever you need me, I’ll stick my neck out for you, walk through fire and water for you, give everything I have. My friend.”

Lu Kongyun didn’t move.

After a moment, Lu Kongyun said, “It’s been so long. It’s only natural if you don’t like me anymore. I knew it all along. I’m not surprised.”

“…” Yu Xiaowen found no way to respond to that.

So he said no more, waving his hand, hoping the other would take it.

“Can we still be friends?” Yu Xiaowen asked with a smile, though it sounded more like a plea.

Lu Kongyun stared at his own fingers, folded together, for a moment, but didn’t take his hand. Then, his voice devoid of emotion, he said, “Oh. Whatever you want. After all, without me, you have plenty of others to choose from. I wish you happiness in the future.”

The door suddenly opened.

“Xiao Wen!”

A frantic fool burst in, immediately feeling Yu Xiaowen’s forehead before helping him up and roughly pushing him onto the bed.

“You’re running such a high fever and still wandering around? Can’t you just lie down and talk?”

“Don’t push me…” Yu Xiaowen, dazed by the fever, was no match for the impatient fool. He closed his eyes, clutched his head, and lay back on the bed. “Damn it, ease up! Let go!”

Xu Jie glanced at Colonel Lu beside him. After the afternoon interrogation, Yu Xiaowen’s secret was no longer a secret. While the truth of the matter was understood, it was the scandal that spread most quickly, permeating every floor and every room of the municipal bureau building in the blink of an eye.

Thus Xu Jie also learned that this top A beside him was the “unrequited love” his mentor had tried so hard to approach two years prior.

Xu Jie noticed Colonel Lu was also staring at him.

He greeted him: “Colonel Lu, hello.”

This man radiated an aura that made the hairs on one’s body stand on end like tiny steel needles. As their gazes met, Xu Jie felt… uncomfortable, his back muscles tensing. But with his master in this state, he couldn’t afford to think about such things.

Steeling himself, he turned to look at Yu Xiaowen, squeezed his master’s palm, hot as boiling water, and leaned in close, his voice low with concern. “Master, would you like some pheromones? Milk tea can help calm your nerves.”

Already feverish and miserable, Yu Xiaowen felt his stomach churn at Xu Jie’s push, nearly vomiting. “Get lost! I won’t drink it!”

Xu Jie tucked the quilt around him. “Team Leader Chen said he’ll come check on you soon.”

Yu Xiaowen: “No one come in. It’s too noisy. I just want to sleep alone… I’m fucking miserable. I was feeling better earlier, but you pushed me and now…”

He closed his eyes, turned his head, and quickly passed out.

Xu Jie glanced at Colonel Lu beside him. Xu Jie politely inquired, “If you have matters to attend to, you may leave first. I can stay tonight to care for my master.”

Colonel Lu stared at him silently for over ten seconds. Xu Jie felt bewildered, almost suffocating.

“You’re taking care of him?” The other man chuckled.

The steel needles piercing Xu Jie’s body grew even sharper.

Lu Kongyun said, “I need to take him away. His condition is critical, and this environment is too noisy for him to rest properly.”

Xu Jie rummaged through his bag: “I brought earplugs. I also bought medicine.”

“You shouldn’t take medicine without consulting a doctor,” Lu Kongyun said.

“I’m not taking it casually… he has a fever.” Xu Jie pulled out the fever medicine he’d bought.

Lu Kongyun: “Some drugs reduce fever, others fight viral infections, they’re different. Medications for heat-induced fever and regular fever are even more distinct. Are you planning to pick one at random regardless of effectiveness, or give him all of them and poison him, then make matters worse with your pheromones?”

Xu Jie: “I didn’t…”

…Xu Jie avoided eye contact, brushing away the tiny needles pricking his arm.

Xu Jie: “We have someone here who knows medicine. Should I call him over?”

“A medical examiner?” Lu Kongyun walked over, bent down, and slipped his hand under the patient’s body. “I’ll call the chief. Tell him we’re taking someone to see a doctor.”

The man had been brought back by Colonel Lu himself, so taking him away posed no security concerns. However, Chief Li had emphasized the utmost discretion, this matter must not reach military headquarters. Thus, Lu instructed Xu Jie to slip the two men out through the back door.

Lu Kongyun drove the car to the open space by the back gate, where Xu Jie carefully placed his master into the passenger seat.

“Thanks for your help,” Lu Kongyun said to Xu Jie.

“Huh?” Xu Jie was puzzled. “This is my master, I should be the one to thank you for your help. Do you need me to come along and help…”

Lu Kongyun placed his foot on the accelerator pedal. “Close the door properly. I’m driving now.”

The car hummed to life and sped off.

Xu Jie stood in the exhaust fumes, staring blankly at the direction the car had vanished.

Truth be told, the second young master of the Lu family had been genuinely dedicated and impartial in this case. At this point, he deserved gratitude for not siding with the military officials. Yet his temperament proved even more eccentric than the rumors suggested.

The image of Lu Kongyun carrying his master as they circled away from him flashed through his mind.

…So this is what they call unrequited love?

The single guy was puzzled. Xu Jie smoothed the hairs on his arm and walked back.

……