TTDOTO 5.3

“Haa…”

“Ugh, hng.”

“Hyung… feels good, right? I’m, ah, really loving this.”

“Ah, ah. It hurts. Hurts, ugh.”

“Liar.”

Jae-an learned true pain left you unable to scream, only tremble. Proof was his penis, shriveled in shock in the garden, now vaguely erect. A subtle change, but Jae-rim, thrilled, moved his hips slower, deeper.

Amid the wet sounds of thrusting, Jae-rim relentlessly questioned the dazed Jae-an.

“Hyung, is this your first time having sex?”

“Ugh, hng…”

“I’ve never done this before either. You too… It’s your first, right?”

When Jae-an, groaning, couldn’t answer, Jae-rim begged.

“Hyung, answer me. It’s your first, right?”

“Hurts, hurts…”

Unable to focus through the shocking insertion, Jae-an only sobbed. Biting his lip impatiently, Jae-rim cupped Jae-an’s wet cheeks, pressing their foreheads together. The gash on his head, barely clotted, bled again.

“Hyung… answer.”

Thrusting upward, he persisted.

First time, right? Your first? It’s your first, isn’t it? Hurts because it’s your first?

The repeated questions tightened his grip on Jae-an’s cheeks. Feeling the pain spread, Jae-an, sobbing, nodded limply. Of course, it was his first.

“F-first… first… I’ve never…”

Only kisses before, no sexual experience.

Finally, Jae-rim released his face. Through tear-blurred vision, Jae-an saw his lips curve softly. From that pretty mouth, a serpentine voice slithered.

Imagined it, but it’s so much better. Hyung, you’re a bit hard… feeling it? Jae-an, you like it? How’s it feel to be fucked? I love it. Mixing casual and formal speech, curses, gasps, and laughter jumbled chaotically.

“Fuck, feels… fucking insane.”

“…Hng, sob.”

“Mine’s about to burst. Your insides grip like a dog, hyung.”

“Ah… hic.”

“You’re taking all of me… makes sense?”

Jae-rim’s thrusts lost restraint. With thuds, Jae-an’s body jolted.

In his haze, Jae-an felt his vision flip multiple times. Jae-rim lifted him, placed him on top, and stripped his shirt. As positions changed and the penis slipped out, Jae-an clenched his eyes, sobbing.

“Haa…”

Flipped again, he was prone. Knees somehow propped, but too weak to support his arms, his face buried in the pillow. With his hips raised, Jae-rim kneaded his sweat-glistening buttocks, staring entranced at the path his penis had taken.

The half-open, unclosing hole—messy with semen, mucus, and blood—seemed unfit for an angel but stoked Jae-rim’s conquest. His penis hardened more.

Kneading the soft buttocks, white skin yielded like dough. After greedy groping, he slapped them. With a crack, the swollen hole clenched. The angel rubbed his forehead on the pillow, sobbing wretchedly.

“Ugh, hic…”

Jae-rim’s penis entered at a new angle. Jae-an tried to endure, but his legs weakened, knees sliding. Pushed by Jae-rim’s weight, he collapsed onto the sheets. Jae-rim, pinning him, continued thrusting.

“Ugh, hng.”

From behind, the glans hit an odd spot. As his penis rubbed between the sheets and his stomach, a new sensation amid the pain numbed his legs.

Each thrust made Jae-an gasp. When the glans hit a specific spot, he forgot to breathe, twisting his hips.

“Ugh!”

With a cry, his sweat-soaked thighs trembled. Jae-rim felt the shift through Jae-an’s skin and muscles. Interest sparked in his eyes.

Watching Jae-an’s reaction, he noted the deeper thrusts didn’t cause pain but drew nasal moans.

Memorizing the spot Jae-an flinched at, Jae-rim pressed it with his glans.

“Ugh!”

Jae-an clenched his buttocks, arching his back. Jae-rim’s breathing roughened. He was sure Jae-an felt it.

“Here, right?”

“Ah, wait…”

The probing grew relentless. Targeting that spot, Jae-an pushed the sheets with his toes.

“My first time… I’m clumsy.”

“Ah, ugh. Hng!”

“Took too long to find what you like, hyung.”

Sorry. His whispering lips touched Jae-an’s shoulder and neck. Biting, licking, and sucking the sweaty skin, Jae-an struggled to hold back climax.

“Some… something’s coming…”

An unbearable urge rose. Recalling soiling the mattress before, he shook his head, eyes teary. But as Jae-rim persisted, Jae-an pushed at his thighs.

“The sheets… they’ll get wet…”

“It’s fine. Let it out.”

Jae-rim, embracing him from behind, murmured softly. The tender voice drained Jae-an’s strength, and thin fluid spurted from his glans, a mix of urine and semen soaking the sheets.

Hic, Jae-an trembled, moaning, tightening his walls. Jae-rim paused, biting back a curse.

“Fuck… you came so much, hyung.”

With a gasp, Jae-an’s body flipped again. Through darkening vision, Jae-rim’s blood-stained face loomed.

Even thrusting, Jae-rim never looked away. I’m going to collapse. Jae-an’s eyes rolled back, dazed.

His consciousness flickered like a dying bulb. Positions changed, vision shifted, but the rhythmic friction, sticky heat, and wetness persisted.

His penis, beyond control, leaked like a broken faucet. No sense of release, just fluid seeping with each thrust. Coming, coming again… Jae-an repeated weakly.

Saliva dripped, tears and snot mixed. Jae-rim’s semen-soaked penis entered his mouth, bitter fluid sliding down his throat. Something pooled in his ear, muffling sounds.

Too filthy to endure sane, losing consciousness felt merciful. When memory returned, he was on the bathroom counter, taking Jae-rim. Next, he awoke slanted in a bathtub, water to his waist, held by Jae-rim.

Leaning against his firm chest, blinking, Jae-an pieced together fragments. He’d been ravaged by Jae-rim, climaxing repeatedly, crying out.

“Uh, hic…”

Submerged in warm water, tears flowed easily. His sobs echoed like in a cave. Jae-rim wiped his cheeks, whispering it was okay. What was okay after all this?

Jae-an shook his head, exhausted, and dropped it. As if waiting, consciousness faded. His body seemed to beg for sleep to protect itself.

*****

Jae-an’s eyes snapped open, clutching the sheets. A splitting headache and dizziness made one eye squint.

Piecing together fragmented memories, he paled, scanning the bedroom. His breath quickened, muttering, A dream? But hope crumbled with his changed clothes and the dull pain between his buttocks.

“Ah…”

Clutching his bruised stomach, he collapsed onto the bed, curling up. Brushing his ear with scratched hands, the sticky sound of flesh lingered.

Pulling the blanket over, closing his eyes, sleepiness hit with exhaustion. Drifting in and out of half-faints, he faced the same nightmare each time.

He killed himself.

Jumping off buildings, hanging, being hit by cars, drowning in the sea—each death differed, but the end was always the same. Jae-rim saved him, forcing life back, locking him in this house.

In the haze of dream and reality, the blanket lifted. Jae-an raised dry eyelids.

“I’m here.”

The face from his nightmares stared down. Realizing this was reality, his brown eyes lost warmth.

“I made food. You didn’t eat?”

The short question carried a strong alcohol stench. He rapes me, then eats and plays. Rising expressionlessly, Jae-an looked up.

“Not hungry.”

“Hm.”

“You seem hungry.”

“Maybe because I ate something appetizing. Still starving.”

The flippant reply made Jae-an clench his fists under the blanket.

“What’s so calm about you…?”

Narrowing his eyes, Jae-rim parted his lips slowly.

“What can’t I do? Because of the sex?”

His neat fingers brushed the gauze by his eyebrow.

“Didn’t you like it too, hyung?”

“…What?”

“Strange. I clearly remember you shaking your hips, enjoying it.”

His sneering voice dripped with condescension. Anger chilled Jae-an’s blood. He grabbed the remote.

But as he raised it, Jae-rim lightly gripped his wrist, pulling it down, face close. Alcohol fumes hit hard.

“Bad hand habits.”

“….”

“No wonder you’ve cut your wrists twice.”

Snickering, Jae-rim snatched the remote, tossing it away. Shedding his jacket and loosening his tie, he spoke.

“Well, if you didn’t like it, too bad. I’ll do better next time.”

Perhaps due to alcohol, his tone was rougher, laced with unhidden irritation.

“Too bad…? You don’t know what we did yesterday?”

“I know. We fucked, didn’t we?”

“Keep talking like that?”

“Fine, fine. Precious first experience. Happy?”

Jae-an rubbed his cheek. Talking felt like hitting a wall, and resentment spilled out.

“How will you face your dad and mine?”

Jae-rim, usually glib, couldn’t hide his disbelief, turning his head with a laugh. Rubbing his neck, he muttered, Talking about dead people? Then he glared at Jae-an.

“We were gonna do it eventually. Why so shocked?”

Jae-an’s lips parted. Jae-rim’s eyes scanned his pale face, torn between grief and anger. Normally, Jae-an’s dry reactions amused him, but mentioning Seung-hyeop and Han-yoon irritated him.

Not softening his cold gaze, he continued.

“Mad, I didn’t warn you? Fine, I’ll say it. We’ll fuck often. Know that.”

“Jae-rim…”

“Yes, hyung.”

“You really gonna act like I don’t exist?”

His halting voice broke with sobs.

“You crossed a line you can’t take back.”

“I know. Rest.”

His callous voice fell. Jae-an dropped his head, giving up anger. Jae-rim had raped him. He’d felt this shame before—drugged, mocked by strangers that day.

With a wretched face, Jae-an spoke.

“You know how much Jang Han-seong hurt me… How could you do the same?”

Jae-rim, who cared for him during hospital visits and seclusion after Han-seong, froze. About to grab the doorknob, he turned, hand on hip, leaning.

“Sorry for hurting you, but who are you comparing me to?”

His clenched jaw shadowed. Finally, his pride stung. Jae-an’s trembling, sarcastic voice spilled.

“Why? Mad, I said you’re like him?”

“Watch your mouth.”

Jae-rim tilted his head, staring. His aura shifted, but Jae-an didn’t stop.

“What’s different about rapist scum? Tell me.”

With a thud, Jae-rim dropped his loosened tie and closed the gap.

“I said watch it.”

His shout came with a yank of Jae-an’s hair. The pain of his scalp tearing felt relieving. If one meaningful hit cost 100, he’d take it. Despite the merciless grip, Jae-an’s eyes burned brighter, knowing he’d landed a blow.

“Beat me as you please.”

“You’ll die, hyung.”

“Good for me.”

Bracing for blows, he gritted his teeth. Jae-rim twisted his lips, pulling harder. Jae-an tumbled off the bed, slamming against the wall. A cough burst reflexively.

Coughing, he glared, eyes bloodshot, unyielding.

“Hah…”

Surprised by Jae-an’s defiance, Jae-rim’s lips twisted, a mocking laugh escaping. A sharp impact hit Jae-an’s head—Jae-rim slammed it against the wall.

“Ah, ugh!!”

“What’s different? First, Han-seong didn’t fuck you.”

As Jae-an reeled, another crash slammed his head again. His hands flailed, grabbing Jae-rim’s wrist.

“Ah…”

“Second, what we did wasn’t rape. You came how many times?”

His head was yanked, crashing against the wall with excruciating pain. Vision narrowed, knees buckled. His fading eyes caught Jae-rim’s voice.

“Hey, don’t pass out. Listen to the end.”

“Huh, ugh…”

“Third, did he love you like I do?”

His final question lost all pretense, voice grim. No answer came, and with a muttered curse, another crash hit.

Bang.

The wall shook. Jae-rim’s eyes narrowed oddly. Drunk, he misjudged force. Blood splattered as Jae-an’s hand fell from his wrist. Releasing his hair, Jae-rim watched him slump against the wall.

Drip. Blood trickled from Jae-an’s forehead to his chin. Sighing upward, Jae-rim crouched before him.

“Look up.”

No response. Trying to meet his eyes, Jae-an’s head hung low. Lifting his chin, Jae-rim saw unfocused eyes, pupils dilated, on the verge of fainting.

Frowning at the blood-and-tear-stained face, he spoke.

“No one loves you like I do.”

In the dizzying haze, his overly tender voice echoed like a mountain call. Jae-an’s lips formed a hollow smile.

His blood-soaked eyelids grew heavy. Closing them, chuckling, he heard Jae-rim click his tongue and leave. I love you, I love you… Jae-an whispered his nonsense, voice fading.

When he opened his eyes, sunlight streamed in. Fainting after the wall slams, he had no memory of being moved to the bed. Staring at the ceiling, a strange voice spoke.

“We meet again.”

His swollen eyes widened. Turning, he saw a familiar face. Park Seo-won raised an eyebrow at Jae-an’s pale, gasping face.

“Didn’t mean to startle you.”

Jae-rim’s friend, Park Seo-won. Not in the mood, Jae-an ignored him, burying his face in the pillow. Showing his battered state to another felt humiliating, heat rising to his neck.

“Came because you’re hurt. Jae-rim’s request…”

Unable to ignore the awkward tone, Jae-an sat up, leaning against the headboard. He didn’t want others to be embarrassed by his and Jae-rim’s mess. Seo-won reached for his face, lifting his bangs to check the wound.

Dabbing the crusted gash with antiseptic, he applied gauze, muttering,

“Same spot as Jae-rim’s wound.”

It sounded like they’d fought evenly, unfair, but Jae-an stayed silent.

“It’s deep but doesn’t need stitches. Keep it dry for a few days.”

Inserting a thermometer in his ear, Seo-won frowned slightly.

“Your forehead’s hot… fever’s up. I’ll give you a shot.”

Preparing a syringe and ampoule, he drew the drug. Tapping it, he said,

“It’ll sting.”

With a soft voice, the needle slid into Jae-an’s arm. Pressing a cotton pad to stop bleeding, he applied a bandage.

“Fever’s frequent. Stress hits the body first, huh?”

“…Done?”

Already dizzy, Seo-won’s chatter grated. At Jae-an’s cold reply, Seo-won’s smile faltered, voice lowering.

“Does Jae-rim hit you a lot?”

The intrusive question drew a cynical smile.

“Why, gonna report him?”

“Haha.”

Seo-won’s awkward laugh brushed off the jab, and he packed up the syringe, ampoule, and cotton.

“Hard to tell if Jae-rim likes or hates you.”

“….”

“You clearly don’t like him.”

His know-it-all tone irritated. Jae-an lowered his eyes, silent. Seo-won’s dark eyes flicked between the bruises on his neck and the gauze on his forehead.

“If you ever hate Jae-rim too much, tell me.”

“Why?”

Meeting his brown eyes, Seo-won smiled faintly, voice low.

“I hate him as much as you do.”

“….”

“Teaming up could be fun. Talking shit might cool your fever.”

Winking playfully, Seo-won laughed. Jae-an turned away.

“…Leave.”

He hated himself for briefly hoping. This was Jae-rim’s den—Seo-won was likely another trap.