SG 64

Extra 4 Looking at the Sea

The New Year holiday lasted until the seventh day. On the second day, Yan Anqing’s mother came back to Grandma’s house with her husband and younger son. To avoid running into them, the two of them returned from Grandma’s house after dinner on New Year’s Day. Before they left, Grandma gave each of them a big red envelope.

Chu Baiyan felt embarrassed to take it, but before he could refuse, Grandma said, “No matter how old you two are or how much you earn, you’re still kids to me.”

Everyone had gone home for the New Year, and the streets that were usually busy had turned quiet. While driving on the empty road, Chu Baiyan remembered what Yan Anqing had said the night before, that he really liked the sea, and he said, “Let’s go see the sea tomorrow.”

“Go to the aquarium tomorrow?” For Yan Anqing, seeing the sea meant going to the ocean park across from their place.

“I mean the real sea. The one with waves, beaches, and reefs.” When they stopped at a red light, Chu Baiyan turned his head toward the passenger seat. The car heater was on. Yan Anqing had taken off his down jacket and was wearing a cream-colored cashmere sweater. He looked peaceful and calm.

Yan Anqing had always liked the sea, but he had never been there. The reason was simple. Whether it was by train or by plane, the crowd and the closed space made it hard for him.

When he was young, he almost never went anywhere. Even taking him somewhere familiar had been difficult, let alone somewhere far. When he was nine, during summer break, his mother gave birth to his younger brother. Grandma and Grandpa took him to another city to visit them.

The high-speed train ride took over three hours. After years of therapy, he no longer screamed or threw fits in public, but those few days still made him extremely anxious. He couldn’t sleep or eat, and when they came back, he had lost three kilos and caught a fever.

Grandma got scared and didn’t dare take him far again. When he grew older, he didn’t have the desire to travel, and his grandparents were old and didn’t like going out, so no one mentioned trips anymore.

“Are we taking the train?” That childhood trip had left a shadow in his memory.

“We’ll drive. I’ll check the route tonight, and we’ll leave tomorrow morning.” Chu Baiyan’s hometown was a coastal city in the north, so he had grown up near the sea. But it was too cold up north now, so he wanted to take Yan Anqing somewhere warmer with a view of the sea.

Early the next morning, they were already driving on the highway under the morning light. Chu Baiyan was worried that Yan Anqing might not feel comfortable staying in a hotel, so besides clothes, he brought their shampoo and body wash from home, even their bedsheets and duvet covers, since the trunk had enough space.

Driving themselves meant they didn’t have to deal with crowded or closed spaces, so for Yan Anqing, it felt no different from their usual drives. He relaxed and watched the scenery outside the window pass by. The unknown destination made him curious and excited.

At noon, they ate at a service area and refueled the car. After they hit the road again, Yan Anqing leaned back and fell asleep. When he woke up, they had already arrived in a city he had never seen before.

“We’re off the highway now. We haven’t reached the city yet. It’s almost thirty degrees here. You don’t need the down jacket anymore.” Chu Baiyan lowered the window and he felt the salty breeze unique to the sea.

It was a coastal city, not a famous one, but that didn’t matter. For Yan Anqing, what mattered was seeing the sea and where they stayed. The city’s popularity didn’t.

The car stopped at the hotel they had booked. They took their luggage and went to check in. When they opened the room door, they could see the sea right from the balcony. The sight filled Yan Anqing with indescribable awe and joy. So this was the real sea, where the sky and the water met with no end in sight.

“Do you like it, Baby? I booked a room in a hotel with a private beach. If you go through the back door of the lobby, you’ll reach the sea.” Chu Baiyan wrapped his arms around him from behind and asked.

“I love it.” On the distant beach, people were playing. The evening breeze messed up his hair. He turned and kissed Chu Baiyan on the cheek.

The next morning, before sunrise, they changed into swim shorts and went down to the beach. The private beach was only open to hotel guests, and since it was still early, most people were asleep. There weren’t many around.

Chu Baiyan hadn’t gone to the seaside for years since he stopped visiting home. The southern sand was finer and softer underfoot. He held Yan Anqing’s hand and led him toward the water. When a wave came and covered his feet, Yan Anqing’s toes curled tightly, and he refused to go any farther.

“Don’t be scared. The hotel already set floating markers for the safe area. As long as we stay within them, it’s fine. Just step your feet in the water. Get used to the feeling.” Chu Baiyan turned and splashed some water against his legs.

After standing for a bit and realizing the sand wouldn’t sink, Yan Anqing carefully took a few steps. Waves kept coming, and small shells and seaweed brushed his feet before being pulled back by the tide.

His attention was soon caught by all the new things around him. He bent down and picked up a thin, nail-shaped seashell.

“There’s a little crab inside.” Yan Anqing studied it, startled when a crab poked out from the shell. He had thought it was empty.

“That’s a hermit crab. When it grows bigger, it’ll move into another shell.” Chu Baiyan smiled and explained.

“Can we take it home?” Yan Anqing sounded as happy as a kid who had found treasure. He looked down and found two more.

“They won’t survive.”

“Then I’ll put them back.” He already felt happy just finding them. Even if he couldn’t take them back, he didn’t feel regret.

“Wait. If you leave them here, the next wave will wash them ashore again. Let’s put them farther into the sea.” Chu Baiyan scooped Yan Anqing up in his arms.

The weightless feeling made Yan Anqing cling to his neck, still holding the tiny shells tightly.

Chu Baiyan carried him farther until the water reached his waist, then set him down.

“You can let them go now.”

Yan Anqing loosened his hands, and the shells disappeared into the water. Standing in the cool sea, he looked around. All he could see was ocean. He didn’t dare move, afraid a wave might pull him away, so he hugged Chu Baiyan’s waist tightly.

“Feel what the real sea is like. I’m with you. When you want to go back, I’ll carry you.” Chu Baiyan held him and helped him stand. The waves were gentle, and the sun hadn’t risen yet. It was the perfect time to stay in the water.

Yan Anqing didn’t ask to go back. He slowly got used to standing in the sea and to the water touching his skin. He ran along the beach, chasing waves into the water, and when they broke over him, he was covered in splashes.

The shells and coral pieces in the sand were treasures to him. His hands couldn’t hold them all, so he handed them to Chu Baiyan and kept collecting. When the sun climbed high and the heat became unbearable, they finally returned to the room.

At noon, they ordered food to the hotel. After eating, they napped until evening. When the sun set, Yan Anqing asked to go to the beach again. He had fallen in love with the feeling of walking in the surf. Chu Baiyan put a life jacket on him and took him into the water.

The seawater wasn’t calm like a pool. Waves kept rolling. Some got into his mouth, salty and warm. He felt like he had become a starfish, floating with the water’s rhythm.

That night, while showering, Yan Anqing opened the bathroom door and poked his head out.

“It’s prickly.”

Chu Baiyan immediately knew what he meant. He didn’t like the stubble that had grown back and wanted to shave. But though they had packed almost everything, they had forgotten the razor. Chu Baiyan hadn’t thought of it at all and couldn’t admit he forgot.

He opened the door, checked the counter, and found a disposable razor provided by the hotel. He lifted Yan Anqing onto the counter and unwrapped the razor.

‎

‎

Outside, the sound of the waves rose and fell, and inside, Yan Anqing’s body moved with another tide, drawn higher by every wave of pleasure.

They stayed at the hotel until the morning of the seventh day. Yan Anqing enjoyed himself to the fullest, spending every day running straight to the beach after waking up. At night, Chu Baiyan drove them into the city to eat, buying fresh seafood from the market and having local restaurants cook it for them. They played well and ate even better.

“Let’s go see the sea every New Year from now on.” On the way back, Yan Anqing sounded a little sad, reluctant to leave the seaside days behind.

“Okay. From now on, every year, we’ll drive along the coast and visit a different seaside city.