CTL 38

It seemed his mind was restless because his younger brother had surgery.

“Do it with me, too. A short round.”

“…”

When Yoongeon furrowed his brow and looked at him, Seohwi gestured with his eyes as if it were no big deal.

“You don’t seem fully warmed up.”

How did he know that? I was all fired up, but I hadn’t been able to properly relieve it.

“Forget it. It’s dangerous—Ugh!”

But he had no intention of sparring with someone who had never done it properly before, so he was about to refuse when Seohwi threw a surprisingly sharp punch. It was so fast that he barely managed to dodge it, but another fist came crashing down from the other side. Only then did Yoongeon judge that Seohwi was not someone to be taken lightly and corrected his posture.

“I could hurt you.”

He actually had no intention of hurting Seohwi, but he said it thinking it might scare him off. However, Seohwi just replied nonchalantly, “Go ahead.”

Wondering where on earth this confidence came from, Yoongeon threw a punch. But, just as it seemed Seohwi had lightly dodged his fist, he threw a kick toward Yoongeon’s thigh. It was a proper warning, as if he, too, had no intention of going easy on Yoongeon.

“Aha…”

The dull ache resonating in his thigh was considerable. Feeling the throbbing in his leg, Yoongeon glared fiercely at him.

“Alright, let’s do this.”

“Until one of us is knocked down or calls it quits?”

At Seohwi’s question, Yoongeon shook his head. He had no intention of hurting him. Nor could he.

✧ ✧ ✧

How much time had passed? Lying sprawled on the ring, gasping for breath, Yoongeon suddenly spoke.

“I’m pissed…”

It had happened in an instant. They were exchanging fierce attacks when Seohwi suddenly rushed him, threw him to the ground, and then collapsed himself, just panting. He hadn’t expected him to suddenly use a judo technique. Pinned down helplessly, Yoongeon glared at Seohwi.

“What are you… Hoo… pissed about?”

“Even after all that effort…”

Back then, yes, losing a fight didn’t make him that angry. After all, they were both kings who had not neglected their training for a long time.

But it was different now, wasn’t it? Seohwi said he’d never even had a proper sparring match, yet he ended up being beaten like this again. At Yoongeon’s words about being frustrated from losing, Seohwi laughed even while lying face down. As Yoongeon snapped at him asking what was so funny, Seohwi spoke.

“Because you seem really competitive.”

“…”

“I went at it like my life depended on it. Because I thought I’d die otherwise.”

Saying that he would have been knocked out for sure if that technique hadn’t worked, Seohwi let out a groan and turned his body over.

“I’m dying…”

“…”

“This is the first time I’ve ever exerted myself this much.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

He meant that even when he exercised, he had never done anything this intense. Seohwi was completely exhausted.

“Who would build a sparring ring inside their house… Even if they had a lot of money, they wouldn’t do it like you.”

“Is that so?”

If he says so, then it must be so, Yoongeon thought, lying still and staring at the ceiling. While most people didn’t go so far as to call in professionals to trade punches, that didn’t apply to him.

“I guess it’s because I’m crazy…”

He muttered softly. Seohwi didn’t answer, perhaps not having heard. Not that he’d said it hoping for a response.

Sometimes, Yoongeon would curl up, unable to adapt to the changed world. When it was so suffocating that even breathing was a struggle, his sleeping brutal violence would awaken, so Yoongeon was, in fact, doing things like this just to hold on somehow. Because if he didn’t, he felt like he would completely lose his mind and die before he could even meet Seohwi.

“Does this make you feel a little better?”

“…What?”

As he was lost in thought, Seohwi suddenly asked. When he asked what he meant, he said.

“I’m asking if your mood improves.”

“…”

Yoongeon pondered the question for a moment. Did his mood improve? The stifling feeling that had been constricting him did subside, at least for a little while. Not for long, though…

“Maybe.”

“Okay.”

Saying that was good enough, Seohwi pushed himself up. As Yoongeon just watched him while lying down, he grinned.

“From now on, do it with me.”

“…Are you crazy?”

“I’m not crazy.”

“I told you, you could get hurt.”

“You’re not going to let me get hurt, just like today.”

“…”

“Sparring with you like this doesn’t feel awkward.”

Seohwi said.

“It feels familiar. Like something I’m supposed to be doing.”

“…”

“So do it with me.”

Seohwi spoke in a tone full of conviction, as if he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and extended a hand to him. Yoongeon hesitated for a moment before taking his hand, pulling himself up to a sitting position, and suddenly speaking.

“That thing about it being familiar, …what does that mean?”

“Literally what I said.”

Seohwi said coolly.

“Everything I do with you doesn’t feel strange to me. No, the person Ko Yoongeon himself…”

…feels familiar.

The last words were spoken softly, like a whisper. But the moment he heard them, Yoongeon bit his lip hard without saying a word. Because if he didn’t, he might not be able to stop himself from saying everything.

“Yoongeon?”

“…I want to shower.”

He changed the subject so Seohwi couldn’t bring up anything else. Fortunately, Seohwi didn’t press the issue and obediently got up. Feeling slightly awkward with himself, Yoongeon walked ahead and entered the bathroom. He felt a sense of relief only after locking the door, just in case.

“…”

When Seohwi’s footsteps could no longer be heard, Yoongeon stepped into the shower stall and turned on the faucet. As he washed himself slowly, Yoongeon tried to gauge whether what he was experiencing now was hope, or misfortune disguised as hope.

To be honest, he wanted to rejoice freely. Because unlike the him from his past life, Seohwi was different this time. He still didn’t remember, but didn’t he now carry a fragment of some emotion he had held for ‘Yoongeon’?

In fact, Yoongeon was happy with that alone. Even if Seohwi didn’t choose him again. Just not receiving the gaze one gives a complete stranger was all the happiness Yoongeon believed he would receive in this life. There was just one thing he was worried and concerned about. The disadvantages Seohwi would face for remembering Yoongeon.

What if remembering Yoongeon made Seohwi live an unhappy life? …He didn’t want that. For Seohwi to become unhappy because of his happiness, never again…

“…”

Yoongeon’s eyes grew melancholic. The stifling feeling he had just managed to suppress now gloomily filled his heart again. Without bothering to push the emotion away, Yoongeon finished his shower, came out, and stood in front of his door for a long time, contemplating, before going out.

“You’re not sleeping?”

His concern about locking the door while he composed himself had been pointless. Yoongeon sighed as he ran right into Seohwi.

“…I have some work to take care of.”

There was nothing that needed to be handled urgently, but there was something he needed to look over. What Team Leader Oh Wansu had said was bothering him, so he intended to look over the report he sent one more time.

“It’s already almost twelve.”

“Just for an hour.”

Seohwi, who didn’t really like him working for long, frowned.

“I’ll help you.”

Right, he was wondering when he’d say that. But on this matter, Yoongeon had to be stern. No matter how much he adored or loved him, work was work…

“…Can I be honest?”

Yoongeon said with a slightly troubled expression.

“You’re still… unskilled at work, so you’re not much help.”

“…”

“If anything, you require a lot of hands-on…”

“…”

But Yoongeon couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. It was because Seohwi’s gaze, as he stood there squarely in front of him and stared, was excessively cold.

“It can’t be helped.”

At Seohwi’s words, spoken with an uncharacteristically vexed face, Yoongeon watched him cautiously.

“No, it’s just that I can get it done quickly on my own.”

At his words that he just needed to look over the report for a moment, Seohwi had no choice but to back down. He grumbled, clearly displeased.

“I need to learn the work quickly or something…”

As for work, well, as long as there was enough time, there would be plenty of time to learn, so isn’t that fine? He was a new employee who hadn’t been here long, so there was no need to rush, Yoongeon was about to say, when Seohwi looked at him with a face that said, oops.

“I have something to give you.”

“Give me what?”

Surprised at the words that he had something for him, Yoongeon asked, and Seohwi said he would go get it and went into his room. Then, the sound of him searching for something busily could be heard. Wondering what he was doing, Yoongeon followed him in, and sure enough, a messy room came into view.

“…”

He won’t find it if he leaves things this messy, he thought, but he didn’t nag. Not being able to tidy up properly was Seohwi’s chronic problem. It wasn’t the sort of thing that could be fixed with a little nagging. Yoongeon still clearly remembered how in the past, even when the servants swept, wiped, and organized whenever they had a chance, the room would quickly become messy as soon as Seohwi entered.

“Where is it…”

As he stood leaning against the door watching the scene, Seohwi spun around and said.

“You said you had work to do. Go work, I’ll find it and bring it to you.”

It seems he’s not confident he can find it quickly. Not wanting to make him feel rushed, Yoongeon obediently backed away. Besides, as he said, he had work to do.

Yoongeon tried to get a grip. Instead of dwelling on his feelings, it was right to do something that would be even a little more helpful to Seohwi. What was the point of examining his feelings when he wasn’t going to live long anyway?

“Alright. But if you can’t find it after looking, just go to sleep first.”

Even to his words not to be foolishly stubborn, Seohwi just kept rummaging here and there without a reply. After gazing at his back for a moment, Yoongeon smiled with one side of his mouth, then went to the kitchen to look for alcohol and picked out cognac instead of whiskey. Whiskey was his usual go-to, but for some reason, he was craving a different drink today.

As always, Yoongeon had a habit of drinking when he worked from home, and he was thinking that he should hurry up and grab it and go upstairs before Seohwi came out. But just then, he thought he heard a call from security, and then the sound of the elevator moving.

“…What the?”

A call from security meant it was someone he hadn’t authorized for entry, but the elevator was moving. Feeling something was strange, he headed toward the entryway, when he heard the sound of a scuffle from inside, followed by a loud BANG! as something hit hard.

“…”

Yoongeon was standing in front of the elevator on high alert. When the doors opened, he saw the security guard collapsed with blood streaming from his head and the angry face of Ko Yoonchul, who was breathing heavily. He had been screaming at the top of his lungs about who dared to block his way, but as soon as he saw Yoongeon, he rushed out. He was completely ignoring the guard collapsed behind him.

“Geon-ah.”

He stood in the entryway and looked at Yoongeon, then smiled obsequiously. His face looked strangely gaunt, but that was all; he didn’t seem to have suffered much emotional distress. Emotional distress? It seemed more like he was struggling because he couldn’t get his drugs.

“I’m sorry…”

Ko Yoonchul began to apologize meekly.

“Hyung was wrong, so please, just give me one more chance…”

“What’s going on?”

It was then. Having heard the loud noise, Seohwi came and stood nearby. Ko Yoonchul looked at Seohwi standing next to him and smiled, his eyes curving.

“Ah, the roommate.”

“…”

When Yoongeon stepped in front of Seohwi, his gaze returned to Yoongeon.

“Geon-ah, really, just give hyung one chance. Huh?”

“Who are you calling by name so casually?”

Even at his words, spoken without hiding his displeasure, Ko Yoonchul looked around with anxious eyes and scratched his arm furiously.

“I’m asking you to let it go.”

“You’re not even going to prison anyway, so why come here and cause a scene? Get out.”

“I… I don’t want to. I don’t want to!”

He shrieked.

“I don’t want to go into a treatment center. Why do I have to go there? Why do I have to be locked up there!”

“Why are you coming here to say that? It’s not under my authority.”

“If you stop them, our mom will listen. Our mom, Yoongeon, she likes you. Huh?”

“…”

“Please, just once.”

Ko Yoonchul sobbed and knelt on the floor, then grabbed Yoongeon’s leg. Even when Yoongeon tried to shake him off, he clung on tightly, leaving disgusting tear stains.

Ah, I just showered, you filthy thing. Yoongeon’s brow crumpled mercilessly.

“You stop them. Tell them to give hyung just one more chance. Huh? Then I can really live my whole life quietly, hidden away somewhere. If you tell me not to show up, I won’t. Or better yet, just send me abroad. I’ll never come back to Korea. Just send me away, huh? If you just allow that, I promise I’ll never go against you again. I promise.”

“Haa…”

Yoongeon furrowed his brow in annoyance, then put strength into his leg and kicked him away. Then, he walked past Ko Yoonchul who was sobbing and rolling on the floor, opened the elevator door again, and lifted the still-unconscious guard, laying him on the sofa before calling for people.

“Fuck, over a pathetic bastard like that…”

Ko Yoonchul watched the scene with bloodshot eyes and muttered, but when Yoongeon returned, his expression changed as if he’d never said such a thing.

“Now that you’re done with your bullshit, get lost.”

“Just once to our mom…”

“Really? Is that what you want?”

“I, I’ll really do anything. I can do anything. What do you want?”

Watching Ko Yoonchul’s face light up, Yoongeon crouched on the floor in a delinquent posture. Then, as if to a dog, he scratched under Ko Yoonchul’s chin with his hand and said.

“Then bark.”

“…What?”

“I said, bark.”

At the command to bark like a dog, Ko Yoonchul’s face turned pale.

“You, to your hyung right now…”

“Can’t you do it?”

“Th-that, besides that… Right, money! I’ll give you money! Or, or… how about my shares?”

Yoongeon listened to him with a bored expression, then tapped Ko Yoonchul’s cheek carelessly.

“Hyung.”

“…”

“Was your younger brother asking for something so great? All I did was ask you to bark once, but you won’t even do that one thing. How disappointing.”

“Aargh!”

He instantly grabbed Ko Yoonchul’s hair. With their faces close together, Yoongeon said sweetly.

“It was just your little brother pestering you to play with him… you’re so mean.”

“Heek… Ah, it hurts… It hurts…!”

“This won’t do. I should go play with my other hyungs who will play with me. Hyung, you know, right? That your friends said they’d accept me as a member too.”

“Wha-what…?”

“They said that you were more than a little annoying. Ah… but you know.”

“…”

“They are your friends, right?”

At the smiling question, Ko Yoonchul’s eyes twitched. His expression was one of disbelief, but there was no trust in his eyes. How pathetically thin his trust was… Yoongeon looked at him, then tossed his head aside as if throwing out trash. Unable to withstand the force, Ko Yoonchul slammed his head hard against the wall.

“Executive Director, the ambulance has arrived.”

Just then, the security team staff came in. Yoongeon pointed at Ko Yoonchul and said.

“Clean up this trash too. The patient is over there.”

“Yes, sir.”

At his command, everyone began to move in perfect order. They first carefully carried out the unconscious guard, and then the staff worked together to forcibly drag out Ko Yoonchul, who was resisting and refusing to leave.

“Ko Yoongeon! You son of a bitch!”

He screamed as he was dragged away.

“You bewitched our mother! You fucking bastard! Why should I go there! Why! You bastard, son of a concubine!”

“…”

Yoongeon watched the dragged-away Ko Yoonchul with an indifferent face. Seeing him show not a shred of agitation, Ko Yoonchul let out a sound close to a scream.