IPDT 22

“It’s not that I’m in pain. It’s that I’m sick.”

“That’s the same as being in pain.”

“No, it’s different. You can tolerate and overlook being in pain, but you don’t overlook being sick. Most are like that.”

Yul’s words were not wrong. Sick individuals were naturally weeded out and abandoned. Were humans any different? No. Humans would even abandon the animals they raised like objects if they got sick.

Still, you shouldn’t talk about yourself like that. Besides, I was not human. I was a great dragon. I was a living being who could take responsibility for taking in a sick human.

“What do you know. I can overlook it.”

“That’s a relief.”

Yul closed his eyes and smiled. I bit my lip hard. I couldn’t understand what he meant by ‘a relief’. Was he really causing this much immense trouble because I called him a troublemaker and a mischief-maker?

I let go of Yul’s face and turned my back. It felt like my heart was being pricked by claws, making it hard to stay in this spot any longer.

“Illy, it hurts.”

However, before I could even take a single step, Yul’s voice caught me by the ankle. I whipped my head around and glared at Yul.

“You’re a liar.”

What am I, calling him a liar while walking back to him? Neither greatness nor authority could be found in me right now. As I slumped down on the bed, Yul rested his head on my shoulder.

“Illy, do you regret picking me up?”

“…I want to regret it.”

“Then you don’t regret it, I guess.”

Since when did Yul become so good at talking? I thought back, but I couldn’t even guess. I carefully stroked Yul’s head and spoke in a gruff voice.

“If I could go back to the past, I would have found you a little earlier and left you with a healer. I would have brought you back after you were all better.”

“You’re still saying you’d bring me back in the end.”

Yul let out a small laugh. I wanted to scold him and ask what was so funny, but the sound of his laughter was so pleasant to hear that I couldn’t say anything. I waited until Yul’s laughter subsided and then opened my mouth.

“…Yul, you know. If you go to a healer, your sickness might get better.”

“I don’t want to.”

Yul, as if his immediate refusal wasn’t enough, added another word.

“I’m not going.”

“But Yul, if you stay with me, you’ll only get worse.”

“I don’t care.”

Yul’s voice was as calm as a lake with not a single breeze.

“I kept wanting to die after coming here.”

“What?”

“If I can die by your side, then that’s enough.”

“Why are you talking about dying?”

As I, surprised, tried to get up, Yul clutched the hem of my clothes.

“I’m not saying I’m going to die. I’m saying I’d be okay with dying.”

“That’s the same thing.”

“Illy, I’m sleepy.”

Yul rubbed his head against my shoulder. What more could I do when a sick human said he was sleepy in a weak voice? I just moved my lips without a sound and then let out a deep sigh. Then Yul muttered in a voice mixed with laughter.

“Put me to sleep.”

I carefully stroked Yul’s head again. Yul, who was accepting the gentle stroking, moved his lips.

“Illy, can you sing me a song?”

“What song?”

“The song I heard back then, at the seashore.”

The seashore meant that day. The day I went with Yul to the small village where the coming-of-age ceremony was held, after listening to Fleabag’s advice. If it was the song he heard then, I could sing it for him any number of times. Because I know this song very well.

I slowly hummed the song that had no lyrics. Yul kept his eyes closed until the song had repeated several times, then opened his mouth again.

“Is it raining outside?”

“Rain?”

“You said it rains when you feel good.”

“Yul, do you know? It’s raining right now because I’m so happy. It rains when I’m happy and sad.”

Suddenly, I remembered what I had said in the past. So I had said something like that to Yul. When I was with Yul, I felt so good that I ended up saying all sorts of things.

“I like it when I’m with you.”

Yul said, as if muttering. It was a very obvious thing to say. So I, too, answered without hesitation.

“I like you too.”

“Then it must be raining.”

Yul closed his eyes and smiled. I carefully, carefully caressed Yul’s head and hummed the song. Until Yul fell asleep, continuously.

Yul was sick for a few more days after that. And in front of my eyes, he met his eternal sleep. The magic that had connected our hearts was broken. Only then did I accept Yul’s death.

The feeling of the heart’s connection being severed was devastatingly painful. Why did I think this was a trivial spell? I clutched my chest and looked at the bed. Yul looked as peaceful as if he were asleep.

“Master.”

Fleabag, who had confirmed that Yul’s breathing had stopped, approached my side. After glancing up at my face, Fleabag rubbed his head against my knee. It was a gesture that seemed to comfort me.

“It’s my fault.”

But even Fleabag’s soft fur was no comfort. I bit my lip hard. My throat felt choked for some reason. A hot thing that welled up made my chest feel tight.

“It’s my fault that Yul ended up like this.”

“Master, the human must have been happy to be with you. As he was your pet human, the funeral will be grand…”

“I’m not holding a funeral.”

“Pardon? Then what do you plan to do with the human?”

Fleabag, who was watching my expression, carefully opened his mouth.

“Are you going to have him stuffed?”

“No. I’m going to give him my heart.”

“Your heart, you say.”

Fleabag, who had been nodding his head cautiously, froze like a stone. Then, he turned to me with a whoosh. His pupils, which had elongated vertically as if in shock, were sharp.

“Your heart?”

“Yul’s soul is still here. Right now, his heart has just stopped.”

I placed my hand on Yul’s left chest. It was the place where his heart should be beating, but no pulsation could be felt. I bit my lip hard. The fact that his body heat still lingered but his heart was silent was chilling.

But Yul wasn’t dead yet. Because I could feel the presence of his soul in this body. If I could make his heart beat again before the faintly remaining soul completely returned to nature, Yul could live. I didn’t care if it was an act that distorted the power of balance.

“So if I share my heart, Yul can live.”

“Master, that is absurd! Please, think it over again!”

Fleabag’s loud voice was grating. I lowered my voice in a warning tone.