BMGSN 5

“I thought we needed time. You and I are both in our second year of high school. We should start preparing for college soon… and more than anything, I mean… you.”

“Me?”

“You… I don’t think I like you in that… that kind of way. I mean, I’m not gay to begin with.”

“……”

As much as he leaned back, the other came closer. Joo Unyoung quietly blinked as he listened intently. Jinki tried to speak with sincerity. Maybe he had taken it lightly because he had thought of him as nothing more than a character from a novel.

The two of them had already shared their feelings. But now he had to say that it was no longer the case, and Jinki felt uncomfortable just sitting with Joo Unyoung. It even felt like he had unintentionally stolen someone else’s lover.

“It’s not that I dislike you. It’s just… I think I liked you as a friend. I don’t know why… why you asked me that.”

“…Is that so?”

“…Yeah.”

“Mm, I see.”

Joo Unyoung neither got angry nor cried. He simply nodded as he listened. Even so, Jinki felt one side of his chest grow cold. It was to the point that he wondered if the sun that had been blazing just moments ago had disappeared.

A long, pale hand was still resting on the back of Jinki’s hand. The fingers twitched slightly, making it look as though they were half intertwined.

“Ah, your buttons are undone.”

After a brief silence, Joo Unyoung finally pulled his hand away. Then he reached toward Jinki’s neck, where a few buttons had come undone, with his pretty fingers. His straight fingers were a bit thick at each joint. His nails were neatly trimmed.

Lowering his head, he slowly fastened the buttons while blinking his long eyelashes. Strangely, the scene passed by as slowly as a movie in slow motion. Fingers brushing lightly against his collarbone, skin grazing his chest as the buttons were done up, and at the same time, a warm scent, whether soap or skin lotion, rushed in.

Swallowing hard as his Adam’s apple bobbed, Jinki stammered out, “D-don’t do things like this either.”

“I’m just buttoning it up for you. Why?”

Joo Unyoung was unfazed. Only Jinki was deeply shaken. With a faint smile, Joo Unyoung fastened the last button and then drew back slightly. An inexplicable, oddly charged atmosphere could be felt.  

Rubbing the back of his neck, Jinki let out a loud, forced cough. He tried to recall what he had said just moments ago. Maybe because he had blurted it out in a daze, he could not remember it clearly.

Still, it felt like he had expressed his stance well enough. Joo Unyoung seemed to understand, too. Had he not responded with “just buttoning it up” when told not to do even that?

No matter how much this was a BL novel, not every man who appeared in it would be gay. So it would not be strange for him to push Joo Unyoung away on the grounds that he was not gay. Joo Unyoung was the protagonist from the original point of view of the story, so he could meet another gong instead of him.

If that happened, this novel would not be a romance between Choi Jinki and Joo Unyoung, but a story with another guy. All he had to do was handle things properly. If he firmly pushed Joo Unyoung away and their relationship grew distant, he could dream of a “future.”

“…Class is about to start. Let’s go.”

“Yeah, five minutes left.”

Joo Unyoung had not wavered, panicked, or clung to him like last time, yet strangely, Jinki felt impatient. After hesitating, he spat out one more sentence.

“…I’m sorry. The fact that you felt that way means I, um… It’s because I didn’t act properly.”

Without waiting for a reply, Jinki walked out as if he were running. When he did not sense anyone following him, his anxiety only grew. Still, he did not have the courage to look back.

His lips, where Joo Unyoung’s hand had touched, and the back of his hand still felt itchy, as if the sensation lingered. Jinki rubbed his lips roughly with the back of his hand and ran into the building.

Watching his retreating figure, Joo Unyoung quietly looked down at his own hand.

“It was almost over.”

That day, it had clearly felt as though he had obtained the “perfect Choi Jinki”. Even before realizing how he would use him or what that feeling truly was, things were different now.

From the day Choi Jinki began to change in a subtle way, from the moment he asked if he liked him, the air started to stir like a restless wind. Like a lone sprout taking root and poking its head out of the soil in the stillness of dawn, unnoticed by all.

Right, in the end, he had only been holding on clumsily. And—

“The most difficult prey is always the most fun.”

His voice, scattered by the breeze, faded until it was barely audible.

* * *

Joo Unyoung was popular. He had been ever since he was young, and it was the same even in a grimy all-boys high school crawling with XY chromosomes.

Returning to his seat for fifth period, Joo Unyoung swept the pile of snacks stacked neatly on his desk and tossed them onto the lockers at the back of the classroom. Notes half-jokingly written with ‘I love you, Joo Unyoung!’ fluttered down into the trash can.

Jinki nearly smacked his lips at the sight of snacks being thrown away without hesitation, then stopped himself. He wanted to ask for them if they were just going to be tossed, but he had already resolved not to say a single word to Joo Unyoung.

“Why? Do you want some?”

As the previously twisted expression brightened and turned toward him, Jinki was briefly startled, then awkwardly smiled and pointed at the snacks thrown on top of the lockers.

“Isn’t that a shame to throw away?”

“If I leave them there, the kids will eat them.”

Seeing the shy letters from those guys stuck to the snacks, he could understand why they were thrown away. It was not even a sincere confession, and it wasn’t pleasant that some faceless guys pathetically dropped them off and ran away. Jinki glanced once at Go Yeol, who he did not know when had arrived, and pulled out his textbook.

Then the guy with eyes half closed tapped Jinki’s wrist lightly.

“I don’t have a textbook.”

“Huh? Why?”

“…I lost it.”

Feeling sorry for him with his lowered gaze and the small yawn he let out as if tired, Jinki pushed his textbook over. The closely cropped head, shaved like a hedgehog, came closer.

Jinki flipped through the pages filled with meticulous notes and opened to a clean spot. Soon, the teacher opened the front door and walked in, and the noisy boys took their seats.

The class proceeded as usual, with about half of the black-haired heads buried in their desks. After the drowsy fifth period and the sixth period ended, exhaustion washed over them.

As Jinki opened his mouth wide and yawned several times, Go Yeol, as if urging him, tapped the desk lightly.

“Mmm…”

With a thud, he slammed his forehead onto the desk. Naturally, his head was turned toward Go Yeol. Joo Unyoung was sitting on the opposite side, after all.

Go Yeol also lay down and met his eyes. Thinking about how he had been sleeping turned only to the right since lunchtime, Jinki figured it must be a habit, and closed his eyes. When he let out a long sigh, the drowsiness that had piled up from sitting at his desk since morning came rushing in.

The desk was too narrow to support two well-built male students, so Jinki and Go Yeol pressed their elbows against each other and began breathing evenly. The sounds of inhaling and exhaling softly seeped into the space between them.

Go Yeol opened his narrow eyes and quietly watched Jinki, who had fallen asleep. Over the past few days, Choi Jinki had become slightly different from the person he knew. The friend who had always been impeccably composed was acting as if he were a completely different person. Even sleeping during break time was one of those changes.

Still, it did not feel strange or bad. Rather, he found himself curious about the one he had silently spent so much time with.

Ever since he started hanging out with Joo Unyoung, the guy who seemed completely devoid of emotion had changed. And then, once more changed, Choi Jinki was now trying to distance himself from Joo Unyoung.

How much time had passed? Someone crept up and suddenly pulled Jinki’s shoulder into a tight hug, shouting loudly.

“Choi Jinki!”

“Ah, fu…ck, what the hell.”

Irritation flared up instantly. Jinki forcefully shoved away the person who had grabbed him with his elbow. Having woken up after only a brief nap, he was extremely displeased.

Four guys crowded around Jinki. Three of them were classmates, and one was Baek Jaehee, whom he had seen during lunch. That punk bastard, f*ck. Muttering the curse under his breath, Jinki swept his bangs back roughly.

“Holy shit. Hey, you can swear? Did you guys hear that? This goody-good bastard just said ‘f*ck.’”

“F*ck? Fuuuck?”

“Our good Jinki has changed…!”

It took a few seconds for Jinki to recall who the three guys making a fuss along with Baek Jaehee were. They were the ones who worked in the student council with Baek Jaehee, and back in their first year, they used to gather in Choi Jinki’s classroom and make a racket every break time.

He could not understand how someone as close to a model student as Choi Jinki had ended up hanging out with guys like that. As Jinki ruffled his hair and tried to lie back down, Baek Jaehee grabbed his shoulder.

“You really swore, right? You did, right? You said you hated swearing. You are pissed because we woke you up while you were sleeping, huh? Huh?”

Out of the four, Baek Jaehee was the most obnoxious. As Jinki looked at the boy who was bending over and sticking his head out with a look of disdain, a large hand suddenly shot out from the side, grabbed the back of Jinki’s head, and pushed him down. Jinki was startled for a moment, but recognizing the cold, large, solid palm without needing to check, he knew it was Go Yeol and lay still with his cheek against his arm.

“Jinki’s tired.”

“Jingki’s tiwed?”

“…Just go.”

The four of them burst into snickering laughter. Yeol’s hand remained resting on Jinki’s head. The hand gently stroking his slightly lifted hair was filled with affection.