NUTMEG 19

That day was one of those days. At times like that, he would habitually push himself to the limit. He practiced and practiced until he felt at ease, or until he collapsed from exhaustion.

He briefly dropped his gaze to Cheon Minje’s lips, which moved as if to say something but then stopped, before meeting his eyes again. The orange streetlight glow that fell on Minje’s smooth cheek as he lay on the pillow beside him quivered softly every time he blinked his eyelashes.

I wish God would tell me the future.

Will this movie be a success? If only I could know that, this night would be much more peaceful.

“Ugh, finally a month-long vacation!”

“You all worked hard. Wonoh, you won’t even get to rest because of filming.”

After the 30-minute live broadcast, all official album promotions were over. Starting today, the members would have a one-month break. Even though it was a vacation, S.gun would continue to revise songs, and Jungjoon and Yohan had YouTube content to film, but in any case, in four weeks, they would dive right into preparations for the next album.

“Can I send a snack truck to Wonoh hyung?”

“Ooh. That sounds fun. Let me in on it too.”

“What, leaving me out. Agh.”

S.gun, who was the last to leave the studio, dropped the stack of albums he was precariously holding in his hands with a clatter. Everyone chided him but bent down to pick them up. They were all albums from rookie idols. Wonoh also picked up a couple. On the cover of one he handed over, it said [SPARK:L].

“This is just what we got during this promotion, right? There are so many kids debuting.”

“Yeah, yeah. It reminds me of when we debuted, so I can’t throw them away.”

Countless albums, filled with aspirations and detailed letters and signatures starting with ‘To. UNCONTROL sunbaenim’ on every cover, piled up at every music show. That’s how many idols debuted, and how many disappeared.

“Were there any kids who stood out this time?”

“Our agency’s rookies RADIANCE and SPARK:L, I guess?”

“Ah. I remember SPARK:L. The kid who’s the leader was hard carrying them all by himself.”

“The omega member there is the type Wonoh hyung would really hate. He’s not cute, but he tries way too hard to act cute.”

Yohan poked Wonoh in the side and grinned wryly. Having been with Wonoh for a long time, the members knew well that he disliked people with secondary genders. To be precise, it wasn’t that he disliked people with secondary genders, but that he disliked people who used their pheromones carelessly. The beta members, however, found it bothersome to make the distinction, asking what the difference was.

“Was it Hyeseong? A name like that,” Yohan even mentioned the omega’s name, but no particular face came to mind. Wonoh shook his head lightly.

“I don’t remember.”

“Wonoh said he doesn’t hate omegas who act cute, he hates it when they spray their pheromones.”

“Oh, really? What do pheromones feel like, anyway?”

For once, Jungjoon corrected him, but he didn’t feel particularly angry at S.gun for glossing over it again. The members, as betas often did, got briefly excited about the topic of pheromones. Wonoh just shrugged. Even if he said it as it was, ‘disgusting,’ it would be difficult for the beta members to understand.

Choi Wonoh loathed everything that the repulsive pheromones implied. He was literally nauseated by the practice of blaming ‘instinct,’ ‘pheromones,’ or ‘heat’ after committing a crime like his father did. Conversely, he was fed up with the act of trying to manipulate others using pheromones. He thought the species of alphas and omegas was as barbaric as he loathed his father and mother.

🍊

“Mr. Wonoh, hello. Um… do you remember me?”

Wonoh turned his gaze sideways toward the source of the sound. A man with a vague impression had entered the smoking room and was standing there hesitantly. When their eyes met, the man, who swallowed nervously, tried his best to act nonchalant and brought the cigarette in his hand to his lips. He took a shallow drag and exhaled again. Even at a glance, he was just puffing.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t quite remember.”

“I’m so disappointed. We even ran lines together quite a few times.”

“…”

Wonoh, with an impassive face, took a deep drag of smoke, then, with only his eyes lifted, exhaled it. The way he recited his lines, as if trying to be impressive after following him all the way to the filming set’s smoking room, was cliché. It had been a tiring day with an interview, a live broadcast, and filming since the morning, so he planned to deal with him briefly and get out of there.

“It’s Lee Jingi. I was in the running for the role of ‘Lee Eunsung’ until the very end. Do you really not remember?”

“Hmm.”

Was that so? ‘Lee Eunsung’ was already Cheon Minje’s role. Whoever came before that had long been erased from Wonoh’s mind.

“…Surely, you must have heard about it.”

At that moment, a faint, fishy-sweet smell began to mix with the hazy cigarette smoke. Wonoh furrowed his brow.

“I’m not bragging, but I’ve heard quite a few times that this is why dominant is different.”

Lee Jingi looked up at Wonoh with coy, upturned eyes. The pheromones began to be felt distinctly within the not-so-small smoking room. Wonoh closed his eyes and exhaled a long breath to calm the vein that was starting to bulge fiercely on his forehead.

“That’s enough.”

“What is? The talking? …Or, the pheromones?”

Lee Jingi finally closed the distance and brushed his hand between Wonoh’s wrist and elbow. Goosebumps rose from the skin where his fingers touched. Wonoh slowly opened his eyes. The vein on his forehead was still bulging, but the man, oblivious to Wonoh’s expression, continued to release the nauseating scent.

Wonoh stubbed out his long cigarette in the ashtray and, without a moment’s hesitation, took a long stride.

“I’m telling you to stop playing with both your tongue and your pheromones. Because I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

Fuck, I was bound to have bad luck all day since this morning. Guys who started releasing pheromones while pretending to have a conversation were all hopeless. At times like this, a surge of irritation welled up at the fact that the entire nation knew his secondary gender.

As he tried to calm his churning stomach and grabbed the doorknob, the man, his face flushed red as if he had never imagined being rejected, raised his sharp voice from behind his shoulder.

“Choi Wonoh! You… you bastard! What I did for Director Choi, huh! How could you… how could you treat me like this?! The role of Eunsung was mine!!! The Director, he promised he would…!”

“…What did you say?”

Lee Jingi had finally blurted out the words closest to the right answer among all the things he had spouted to get Wonoh’s attention. Wonoh turned back toward the man with a stiff expression.

“Say that again.”

“Director, Director Choi… said he would talk to the investment company….”

Choi Wonoh, who had been letting out a deflated sound, soon burst out laughing. Surprised by Choi Wonoh’s sudden laughter, Lee Jingi could only roll his eyes and watch his reaction. Mr. Lee Jingi, Choi Wonoh called his name and blocked the smoking room exit, looking down at him.

“You’re a bit slow, aren’t you? You hear that often, right? If it were me, I don’t think I’d be whining to his son about it. Ah. You lost your connection, I see. Director Choi is out of touch. Right?”

“What are you….”

Choi Wonoh looked down at the man with a smile on his lips.

Seeing those eyes, Lee Jingi suddenly clamped a hand over his mouth to stop a hiccup from escaping. His body trembled as if he’d caught a chill in the middle of summer. Wonoh narrowed his eyes, pretending to think deeply, and slowly tapped his lips.

“You were too scared to talk to the investment company, but you figured you could sweet-talk one alpha. That can happen. All alphas are the same, after all.”

The face that was speaking in an even tone was frighteningly calm. The sight was somewhat grotesque, and Lee Jingi tightened his grip on the hand covering his mouth. He felt that if he didn’t, he would start trembling unsightly.

Is it pheromones? No. He couldn’t feel any pheromones, yet the sense of pressure was immense. “The fucked up thing is, you’re not the only one who thinks that, Mr. Lee Jingi,” Choi Wonoh growled lowly, his two eyes gleaming opaquely like plastic.

“I hope we don’t run into each other again. If we do, I think I’ll want to rip out the tongue that licked Director Choi’s asshole first.”

In the end, Lee Jingi’s legs gave out and he collapsed. Wonoh, who had been looking down at the pathetic sight, let out a hollow laugh and left the smoking room.

He felt fucking awful.

He wanted to immediately confront Im Kihwan and demand to know how much he knew, but he was busy shooting Ms. Lee Yeonja’s scene. As he clenched his jaw, the masseter muscle repeatedly tensed and relaxed.

How far was Choi Cheowon involved? From the moment things started going well with Im Kihwan, he had investigated like he was picking out lice to see if there were any connections to Director Choi. He knew well that the film industry was so small that everyone knew each other through three degrees of separation, but they didn’t seem to be particularly close. Knowing his personality, he wasn’t the type to curry favor with anyone. But it would be a different story if he knew and pretended not to.

“…Ah, fuck.”

At the muttered curse, the lanky man leaning against the wall turned around with the eyes of a startled rabbit. “Why?” he asked, and seeing his clear face, his irritation subsided slightly. It wasn’t the kind of story he could go around telling people, so he had no intention of telling him.

“Some omega fucker in the smoking room kept rubbing his pheromones on me.”

As he said it, he recalled that he had been covered in those disgusting pheromones the whole time. “Ah… I’m so pissed,” he muttered and brushed his shoulders and thighs with his hands. Pat, pat. Cheon Minje, who had been watching him quietly, met his eyes, and Wonoh slung an arm around his shoulders and leaned his body against him, letting all his strength go.

Cheon Minje always smelled comforting and pleasant, like laundry dried well in the sun. Wonoh took a deep breath. As he filled his lungs with that scent, he felt the mottled irritation gradually subside. As if he had drunk a tranquilizer.

“…Is the smell of pheromones that strong?”

Cheon Minje, who had been blinking his eyes quietly, asked cautiously. As he stared at his neat side profile, he saw him purse his lips and then nibble on them. When the members asked the same question, he had just shrugged his shoulders out of annoyance, but to his question, he answered without even thinking.

“I don’t know. Other alphas say it’s not that bad. But sometimes I feel like I’m going to puke. Kihwan hyung says it’s because of my mysophobia. Funny, right?”

“Maybe it’s because you’re a dominant.”

“Hyung, you’re really interested in me. Oh, right, you said you were a fan.”

Choi Wonoh quite liked Cheon Minje. He liked his knack for making people laugh by saying everything he wanted to say after some hesitation, and he liked that he was surprisingly persistent and would silently follow his pace of having to practice until he was satisfied.

Moreover, for someone who said he had never even thought about acting, he was well-versed in the ways of the industry, and Wonoh, who disliked wasting energy on unnecessary explanations when talking to non-industry people, liked even that about him. On top of that, they communicated well. Since they were both in the position of filming a movie for the first time, their worries and interests were almost the same.

To Wonoh, both the members and Cheon Minje were the same: business partners. But if his relationship with his members would always remain that of a team leader and team members, Cheon Minje was, what should I say…

“I’m not. Is there anyone who doesn’t know you’re a dominant alpha?”

“Hyung, you don’t need to know things like that. You’re a beta.”

Like a pet. He had never actually owned an animal, and he knew it wasn’t something to think about a person, but he couldn’t find any other way to express it. Because his constantly changing expressions were so interesting that it made him want to poke him.

Even now, he couldn’t resist and poked his sulky-looking cheek, only to have his hand immediately pushed away by the blade of his hand. A pleasant laugh burst from Wonoh’s lips. And he wrapped his arms around his shoulders from behind. He still smelled good.

“I like that you’re a beta, hyung.”

Sincerely.

“Fuck. Props team!!!!”

The surroundings were buzzing noisily. Choi Wonoh silently stared at his own hand, from which bright red blood was dripping, the skin peeled back. No, he had to pretend to be in pain, so his brow was furrowed.

The props team leader and assistants, and the planning team with a first-aid kit, came running in a hurry. The props team, flustered and at a loss, apologized, and Im Kihwan yelled and threw a fit. As he quietly surrendered his right hand to receive first aid, a pale-faced Cheon Minje came into his line of sight.

“Wonoh…”

He smiled to signal not to worry. It had the opposite effect, as he turned even paler.

From the moment he picked up the glove, he had felt a very faint, fishy-sweet smell. It was a smell he remembered. Choi Wonoh’s sensory organs for detecting pheromones were extremely sensitive compared to others. After that, as soon as he put his hand in, he felt a sharp metal object inside the glove. He thought about pulling his hand out, but then changed his mind and fastened the wrist velcro tightly. Since he had gone to the trouble of creating a pretext, I should accept it.