PMEVBO 12

To cut to the chase, my cleaning didn’t make Iser happy.

“…Can you stop now?”

Iser, who had been sitting on the sofa with his arms crossed, watching me clean, said with a bored look.

“Why?”

“You’ve done enough already.”

“Enough what?”

I hadn’t even cleaned the three full-length mirrors yet, and I still hadn’t put away the sterilized kitchen tools. After all that, I still needed to set the mouse traps.

“…Why are you even cleaning in the first place? You said you were just going to look around and leave.”

“Life doesn’t always go according to plan.”

But right now, my life was going exactly according to plan. Iser’s eyes narrowed.

“…You came along with this plan from the very beginning, didn’t you?”

You’re quick to catch on. Unlike some people.

Grrr―!

Lucariel’s stomach…no, my stomach, wasn’t so quick to catch on.

I’d been so distracted I’d forgotten to eat. Half a bowl of tomato soup, but it came with poison. That was the only meal I’d had since possessing Lucariel’s body.

It was late morning when I possessed him, and now it was already midnight, so I’d essentially gone almost an entire day without eating.

Grrr―!

Grrr―!

The noise was no joke.

Iser, who had been staring at my stomach with an expression of disbelief, gave me a annoyed look when our eyes met.

“…Your stomach’s making noise. It’s loud, so go upstairs and eat something.”

Well, when a person is hungry, their stomach can make noises. That’s just how it is. He’s really giving me a hard time.

“Fine, I’m going.”

The wall clock had already struck 10 PM. It was late, so I’d put off the remaining work until tomorrow and head upstairs to find something to eat.

***

My destination was the annex kitchen. I opened the wooden door, and the heat hit me, carrying the tangy scent of tomatoes that stung my nose.

Startled by my sudden intrusion, the annex chef looked up at me with wide eyes. A large pot in front of him was bubbling with bright red tomato soup.

Was dinner tomato soup too…? Was he haunted by some tomato soup grudge ghost?

Stomping over to the chef, I pretended to taste the soup with a spoon. Then I immediately threw the spoon to the floor and glared at him.

“You call this food?”

“I-I’m sorry. I’ll make it again, so please, just spare my life…”

“Enough. Get out.”

“Huh…?”

The chef blinked.

“From now on, I’ll take care of my own meals. Even if I make it with my feet, it’ll be better than yours. You can come back in after I leave and clean up.”

I was sorry, but I had no choice. For the time being, I planned to cook every meal myself. With the mastermind behind the poisoning incident still unknown, eating food touched by others didn’t sit right with me.

And it wasn’t like the food was just for me. For the time being, half of the meals allocated to me were meant for Iser. How could I bear to see a kid spit blood after eating poisoned food…?

It wasn’t just about quality, quantity was an issue too. If I had two mouths to feed, the amount of food should naturally increase accordingly.

But with Iser missing, if my food intake suddenly doubled, the duke might find it suspicious. But if I cooked myself, I could naturally increase the portions by blaming a failure to gauge the quantities.

Well, if I just went with the concept of a big-mouthed, reckless bastard who’d just gotten a taste for cooking, it should work out somehow.

You might wonder how a mere exiled criminal staying in a shabby annex could afford such ingredients, but that wasn’t a problem.

There was a vegetable garden behind the annex that seemed to have been neglected for quite some time.

I had discovered that garden just moments ago. I stumbled upon it by accident while heading to the kitchen from my hiding spot to find something to eat.

I had taken a slight wrong turn and found myself wandering through thick, overgrown bushes. Then I stumbled over something like a rock, and upon closer look, it was a potato. Fumbling around, I found the vine and pulled on it, and a cluster of potatoes came up with it.

Only then did I realize that jungle-like area was actually an abandoned vegetable garden. There was plenty besides potatoes, but it was night, so I couldn’t examine it closely. So, I just took a few potatoes for now.

I’ll go back tomorrow morning and see what else is there.

Alright, so what should I make with these potatoes? Good thing I know how to cook.

***

When I went back this morning, it was definitely a vegetable garden. Though it had been neglected for so long it had become overgrown.

“Should I pick some zucchini and lettuce?”

I gathered the zucchini and lettuce and headed to the annex kitchen. After once again commandeering the kitchen from the chef, I made potato salad sandwiches and a zucchini-lettuce salad.

Carrying Iser’s share too, I headed back to the hideout.

At the locked door, I ran into Paf standing there holding a broom.

“I’ll clean my room from now on. You go rest.”

I snatched the broom from Paf and opened the door. Then, the moment I stepped inside, I locked the door and lifted the bottom of the vanity cabinet.

Arriving at the hideout, the potato stew I’d brought last night was still there.

…Looks like he didn’t eat a single bite.

Just then, the bathroom door opened and Iser walked out. Instead of the rags he’d been wearing from the top-floor spire room, he now had on the white shirt and black pants I’d brought him yesterday along with the potato stew.

His long pink hair, now wet, sparkled in the candlelight. As Iser plopped down on the sofa, water droplets dripped from his hair. I hurriedly grabbed a towel and offered it to him.

“You’ll catch a cold. Dry your hair properly.”

It’s cool down here.

But for some reason, Iser just stared at the towel I offered.

“What’s wrong? Do you want me to dry it?”

“It’s fine…!”

Then, he snatched the towel from my hand and began vigorously shaking his wet hair to dry it. His fingertips were surprisingly nimble.

“Iser, do you hate potatoes?”

At that moment, his hands, which had been moving busily, stopped abruptly.

“…No.”

Iser replied as he resumed towel-drying. But compared to before, his pace had slowed noticeably.

“Then why didn’t you eat the ones I brought last night?”

“……I wasn’t hungry.”

Honestly, it was hard to believe he wasn’t hungry. After all, Iser was the one who’d been kidnapped by me out of nowhere and dragged around everywhere, starving just as much as I was.

But instead of insisting on that, I decided to ask something else.

“Still not hungry? I brought potato salad sandwiches and zucchini lettuce salad for breakfast.”

“……Not hungry.”

“Then just eat a little.”

“……No. I won’t eat.”

“Is there something wrong with the menu? If there’s something else you’d rather have, just say so.”

From the cook’s perspective, deciding the menu every time was a huge chore. So if Iser had a specific menu in mind, there was no reason not to accommodate him.

“By lunchtime at the latest—”

“Ah, I said no!”

His already rough, hoarse voice was even louder, unleashing terrifying power. It made me flinch. But soon, I realized my own startled reaction wasn’t even worth mentioning.

“What’s wrong with you? You roared like a lion, so why are you startled like a rabbit?”

“…….”

“You’re being greedy. Choose one, lion or rabbit.”

“Ah, just…!”

Iser, his face flushed crimson, buried himself in the towel and trembled. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You must be hungry. Why lie?”

“…….”

Iser remained silent, his face buried in the towel. Looking down at his adorable pink hair, still damp with moisture, I waited silently.

After a short while, he spoke in a muffled voice.

“…Five years.”

“What’s five years?”

Iser lifted his head and met my gaze.

“…The time I didn’t eat anything.”

“What…?”

“For five years, I didn’t even take a single sip of water, let alone eat food, yet I’m perfectly fine, alive and well… I…”

Can a person really survive five years without a single drop of water? I didn’t know what I’d heard. Even a car couldn’t manage that kind of fuel efficiency. It was absurd.

“Probably thanks to whatever life-related ability I have.”

Iser’s hypothesis sounded plausible at first glance.

But I already knew of a counterexample. Isabelle, Iser’s older sister and the original female lead who possessed a life-related ability like Iser’s, yet nearly paid dearly due to anorexia.

Come to think of it, the life-related ability Isabel wielded wasn’t quite at the level of saving human lives.

So even if Iser possessed an ability Isabel didn’t have, it wasn’t strange. Compared to the ability to instantly revive someone dying from a deadly poison, being able to go five years without a single sip of water was just fuel efficiency.

“It doesn’t affect my life if I don’t eat. So don’t worry about my meals from now on.”

But why the hell is that the conclusion?

I get that he won’t die without eating. But eating won’t kill him either, so why not eat? Does he only eat to survive? I answered without realizing how grumpy I sounded.

“I don’t want to.”

“……Didn’t you hear me?”

“No, I heard you. You said you’ve been starving for five years.”

“Then why―”

I cut off Iser’s words and continued speaking.

“So you weren’t starving before that? Why did you suddenly start starving yourself?”

“……”

“Did the duke starve you?”

Iser scowled and countered.

“……Yes, that’s right. But so what? Does that matter? I told you, I won’t die from starvation.”

“What are you talking about? Of course it matters.”