VSP 159

“That’s why I told you I was just grasping at straws too! There’s nothing I can be sure of!”

“Can you go back?”

“I don’t know?”

Sejun answered listlessly. Cha Dogyeong’s gaze grew even colder, but Sejun couldn’t help this part. What would he know? He was just a creation in a story, just like everyone else.

“It’ll be a total disaster if I stay here even after the clear. For you and for me.”

He might not be able to return. But Sejun didn’t regret his actions even if that happened. It wasn’t because he was a sacrificial person, but because the Cha Dogyeong over there could keep living if things turned out that way. He didn’t know why he wanted that so much, and he felt a bit sorry for the Seo Sejun here.

“But we have to get rid of that guy first. So I’m betting everything on the hope that I’ll return safely.”

He called it hope, but it just meant he knew nothing and had no plan. Dogyeong frowned. What if Sejun couldn’t return even after they cleared this? A chill ran down his spine. Dogyeong looked at Asura, who was gathering power in the distance. He was lost in thought for a moment, then he spoke bluntly.

“Then go back now.”

“What?”

“I’ll defeat him. If you’re the one left when we reach the ending or whatever, I can’t do anything to get my hyung back. So leave now.”

Sejun was confused for a long time before he finally understood and frowned.

“You’re telling me to go back in this situation? Is the Seo Sejun here more important than the world?”

“I can just defeat him without you.”

“……Do you think that’s actually possible?”

Dogyeong looked at Asura in the distance. The monster had destroyed most of the buildings and structures nearby and was now gathering power. The situation was already bad enough to be pessimistic, especially since Asura would soon grow stronger. What if that weak Seo Sejun returned now?

He wasn’t certain they could defeat Asura. The only reason they thought they had a chance was because they had two EX-ranks.

But Dogyeong didn’t care about that now.

“You said this story could reach its ending too if we defeat Asura.”

“……Probably? It’s just my guess.”

It was a guess, but it was also their only hope.

“What happens to the Seo Sejun over there when that place reaches the ending?”

“…I’ll probably disappear. My consciousness is here.”

He called it consciousness, but Seo Sejun’s entire existence had moved here. There was no Seo Sejun over there right now. He would probably just disappear, as if he never existed in the first place.

A peaceful world without Seo Sejun. He didn’t think he was a particularly good person, so a world without him would be a bit more peaceful than one with him. The loss of a skilled hunter would hurt, but the number of dungeons would decrease once they reached the ending. It would be good for the Cha Dogyeong who hated Seo Sejun too.

His heart ached a bit when that thought occurred to him, but Sejun pretended he didn’t care.

“But it might be better for Cha Dogyeong. Unlike you, we really hate each other.”

“You hate me?”

“Yeah. You hate me too.”

That was only natural. Somehow, the original author’s intentions aligned here, and they fell in love while stuck together, but the original Cha Dogyeong and Seo Sejun were like oil and water. They could never get along. But Dogyeong didn’t seem to think so.

“I would…I mean, the Cha Dogyeong there would…”

“What?”

Dogyeong frowned, he found it awkward to refer to himself in the third person. He let out a sigh and continued.

“I would’ve ended up loving you even if I hated you at first.”

Sejun blinked. If anyone else had said that, he would’ve gotten angry and interrupted them, but the one talking was Cha Dogyeong. He couldn’t bring himself to interrupt.

“He won’t be in his right mind if you’re gone, regardless of world peace. He won’t be happy like you think, either.”

“How do you know that?”

“How could I not know myself?”

Because I fell in love with Seo Sejun like that.

He stayed by his side without even realizing he liked him. By the time he snapped out of it, he had already fallen so deep that he couldn’t escape. How could he not know?

They never really had much peaceful time together, before or after they started dating. They never had a proper date. They hadn’t kissed enough, and they never spent a whole day in bed together. He hadn’t even told him he loved him until he was sick of hearing it. He had so many things he wanted to do. He had so many things to say. But for now, he just wanted Sejun to return.

Dogyeong smiled.

“Just as I want my hyung to return, the ‘me’ over there will want you back if you disappear.”

“…….”

“So go back.”

Sejun exhaled the breath he’d been holding. Go back? Was that even possible in this situation? In the distance, the monster scattered even more dark red energy than before. He was ready to tear them apart. While they were talking, the air around the creature grew hot and red, like a dark fog. Sejun couldn’t take his eyes off the monster because it felt like Asura would move at any second.

Leave a monster like that behind and go? Sejun scoffed.

“If the useless Seo Sejun returns right now, things will only get harder for you. You know that.”

“I’ll just work harder.”

“……Is this the time to state your ambitions? Is this a situation where ‘effort’ can solve anything?”

Effort. What a nice word. If the situation weren’t like this, he would’ve just accepted it and nodded.

Work hard and try a bit more. How nice would it be if he could just leave and everything would turn out fine? Cha Dogyeong didn’t seem to think it would be that easy, either.

“Is it unrealistic to want him back?”

“He betrayed you. How can you still love him?”

Cha Dogyeong’s mouth twisted at the mentionof betrayal. He sighed and rubbed his face.

“……It’d be a lie to say I’m not hurt, but I made a promise.”

“What promise?”

“I promised I wouldn’t be disappointed.”

Sejun searched his memories and soon found the right one.

‘Don’t worry too much, because I won’t be disappointed no matter what you’re hiding.’

……Ah, right. It wasn’t his own memory, but Cha Dogyeong had said that. It was when the original Seo Sejun had returned for a moment. He said he wouldn’t be disappointed regardless of the secret. Was there a more reckless blank check in the world? How could he say that when he didn’t even know what the other person was hiding?

Or… maybe it meant he loved him so much that the secret didn’t matter. Nothing was as abstract as love, yet he tried to decide the fate of the world and his own fate with it. Sejun truly couldn’t understand.

“We can work through the hurt while we live together. The one who loves more is the one who loses.”

But the man who spoke of love didn’t waver.

“I have no intention of losing him, nor do I plan to regret losing him.”

His determined face showed he had a clear purpose. He spoke with realism. He had weighed the options coldly: lose Seo Sejun by being angry, or keep him despite the hurt. He had decided which was better for him. Since he couldn’t turn away from Sejun either way, he concluded that he’d even carry that disappointment with him.

Sejun stared at Cha Dogyeong as he talked about love. He didn’t know how to describe this feeling. Cha Dogyeong said he loved Seo Sejun. With the same face Sejun always looked at, he confessed his love so easily. Sejun thought Cha Dogyeong looked so beautiful when he smiled and spoke of love.

‘Seo Sejun.’ I want to see him. Sejun suddenly thought. Just as the Cha Dogyeong here wanted to see Seo Sejun again, Sejun wanted to see the Cha Dogyeong he loved. He’d never seen him smile brightly, but he’d probably smile like that. He’d be able to smile that brightly.

He only thought about defeating Asura and gaining freedom; he hadn’t considered what came after. He’d tried not to think about it on purpose. He might disappear here, and there’s a high chance he’d never return. But in that moment, Sejun imagined the future. He’d ignored it because he feared the despair of not having such a brilliant thing later, but he ended up swallowing that hope.