VSP 171

Actually, it’s just that Sejun came back to his parents’ house to rest, practically running away, but Seoul had been in chaos all along. Those was the rumors he heard even without watching the news.

Sejun chose his words carefully, afraid that if he asked why he’d come when he was so busy, it might seem like he was pushing him away.

Cha Dogyeong chuckled as he watched struggle.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Well, it’s funny to see you fidgeting like a puppy that needs to pee.”

“……”

If it weren’t for Cha Dogyeong’s honesty, he would’ve thought this guy was picking a fight with him.

But even if that were the case, Sejun was the one who’d done something wrong, so he didn’t say a word.

Cha Dogyeong, who had been quietly watching him, spoke up.

“I was actually planning to wait a little longer. I figured you needed time to think, and I wanted you to rest a bit more.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But no matter how much I thought about it, I just couldn’t help but imagine Seo Sejun digging himself into a hole all by himself.”

“I came to pick you up.”

The words “I came to pick you up” made Sejun’s heart flutter.

There was no trace of the anger typical of someone who was angry in those words.

Ah, I’m going crazy. Seeing Cha Dogyeong not getting angry even though this was a situation where he should be, Sejun realized that he had truly done something unforgivable to Cha Dogyeong.

No matter how much he thought about it, he was definitely the bad guy in this situation.

It was true that he had been digging himself into a hole, just as Cha Dogyeong had suspected. Because he was scared.

Even after learning the truth, Cha Dogyeong hadn’t changed. Just as his feelings hadn’t. Just as Sejun’s hadn’t.

Sejun’s tense shoulders began to relax.

“Are you sorry to me?”

“……Yeah.”

“Hmm.”

It was a passive apology, but Cha Dogyeong’s reaction was lukewarm.

“What kind of reaction is that?”

“It doesn’t really matter to me whether you’re sorry or not.”

That meant the apology didn’t move him much. Sejun’s heart skipped a beat, but Cha Dogyeong continued as if nothing had happened.

“Even if you act all shameless and say you’re not sorry to me, I can’t let you go anymore.”

In a way, that was a passionate confession. Taken aback, Sejun blushed.

It had been a little while since he and Cha Dogyeong had started dating, but because there had been so many ups and downs that they couldn’t just enjoy the relationship, Sejun was still a novice when it came to these matters.

He still didn’t know how to be honest with his own feelings.

“You… why do you like me?”

Instead of blushing shyly and saying, “Me too,” Sejun asked that. His tone was unnecessarily grumpy out of embarrassment.

“Good question.”

What?

Startled by the unexpected answer, Sejun, who had been looking down, abruptly raised his head.

Cha Dogyeong placed hid chin in his hand, deep in thought as if he were genuinely trying to figure out why he liked Sejun.

“You’re a goofball, unnecessarily proud, and sometimes a bit stupid…….”

Not a single one of the words that followed sounded like a compliment. The back of his neck began to ache. Wasn’t the mood just a little romantic a moment ago?

“Hey, hey.”

“But you’re the only one who’s ever made me want to suck a guy’s dick.”

Then, at the sudden remark, Sejun closed his eyes. His face burned like crazy.

He was so spiteful that he used vulgar language, even though he clearly knew Sejun would react this way.

Come to think of it, he’d always had a foul mouth. Even though he started using less harsh language as his relationship with Sejun changed, he couldn’t help it at times like this.

“Fuck, that means you like me, right?”

“Yeah. I’m the one who clung to you first and said that I liked you.”

He shrugged, looking completely unfazed. The irritation subsided with that single sentence.

Cha Dogyeong says he likes me. Even after what happened, he says he just can’t let me go. He says he likes me, that he can’t let me go.

“……I like you too.”

As he brought those words he’d once spoken back to his lips, Cha Dogyeong smiled.

Seeing the look that said he knew exactly what he meant, Sejun felt a pang of anxiety.

“I’m not faking it. I’m not lying.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean it.”

Afraid he might not believe him, Sejun’s words dragged on.

After a moment’s hesitation, Sejun decided that if he had to say it anyway, now was the time.

The mission he’d received from the original author, the existence of Lucky Love Mode, and even the fact that he’d started to like Cha Dogyeong at some point, everything.

“So that fucking amazing dick was a mission penalty?”

Cha Dogyeong still didn’t get angry. Instead of getting angry, he made a remark as if he had already come to a conclusion about it long ago. Sejun’s face grew even redder.

“……”

Dogyeong stared at Sejun’s face. He could see Sejun, who had confessed everything and was now waiting for his judgment.

Seeing that face, he didn’t feel angry.

He had wondered if he should get angry once Sejun came back? It was true that the back of his head had been throbbing, so he had briefly considered it.

But the moment he realized he couldn’t let Sejun go, all that remained was not irritation or anger, but simply a deep longing.

He decided to be honest. What filled his heart was neither anger nor resentment. It was an emotion unlike either of those in the slightest.

“Seo Sejun.”

“Yeah.”

“Hyung.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Don’t go anywhere now. Okay?”

Sejun flinched.

That was the very first thing he said. Sejun, who was momentarily stunned, realized what Dogyeong was most anxious about.

He was afraid Sejun might disappear right now. He’d already lost Sejun so many times. That was why he couldn’t even get angry right now. He was afraid that if he did, Sejun might vanish again.

“I’m anxious that Seo Sejun might disappear.”

“……I won’t disappear.”

“Don’t go. If you disappear again, I don’t think I can take it.”

His tone was flat, but Sejun knew that it was sincere. Seeing his exhausted face, Sejun’s heart ached with guilt.

“No matter how much of a nuisance you are, I’ll stay by your side.”

“For life?”

Though “for life” was an absurdly long time, Sejun didn’t hesitate.

“Yeah, for life.”

It was a childish promise, like the kind kids make by crossing their fingers. If they’d been just a little more sentimental, they might have actually crossed their fingers.

But Sejun scratched his cheek, thinking, “Wait a minute.”

……If he’s promising a lifetime, then how is this any different from a proposal?

But he quickly shook his head, thinking, “What’s the point of that between two guys?” He was getting way ahead of himself.

“So… what I want to say is.”

Sejun swallowed dryly. He could feel his inner self squirming with embarrassment, but he felt he absolutely had to say this.

Suppressing his embarrassment, Sejun finally said the words he’d been thinking about all along.

“Cha Dogyeong, will you go out with me?”

“……?”

Dogyeong tilted his head in confusion. Then his expression froze as he suddenly realized something.

Seeing the “So what we’ve been doing until now wasn’t dating?” look on his face, Sejun hurriedly added.

“No, I mean!”

He’d set the stage, but when it came time to actually say the words, his lips wouldn’t move.

If you’ve buttoned the first button wrong, undo them all and start over. Sejun took a deep breath.

Facing Dogyeong’s baffled gaze, Sejun finally blurted it out.

“This time, it is without considering anything. I just… …I’m dating you because I like you. That’s what I wanted to say.”

Cha Dogyeong, the master of conclusions, easily summarized Sejun’s words.

“So you’re saying we should make today ‘Day 1’?”

…Putting it that way does make it sound pretty childish. Though he thought that, Sejun nodded.

“So today is our day 1?”

Perhaps Cha Dogyeong felt it was childish too, because his face was full of mischief as he asked him back.

“Yeah!”

Sejun suddenly felt a lump in his throat, he grumbled but agreed with him. Seeing him blush and get annoyed all by himself, even though he was the one who brought it up, was so typical of Sejun that Dogyeong chuckled.

“Okay.”

Cha Dogyeong nodded with a bright smile.

Even though he already knew the answer, Sejun only felt relieved then. He couldn’t understand how people could stand the tension and actually go through with a confession like this.

“I’ve been so busy I couldn’t even keep track of anniversaries, so this works out perfectly.”

Dogyeong reached out his hand. Sejun stared at it for a moment, wondering what it meant, then slowly reached out and took his hand.

A big, firm hand enveloped Sejun’s. As if he would never let go.

“……This is my first time confessing my feelings.”

“So I get to be the first person Seo Sejun confesses to? What an honor.”

Was that the only first? Everything about Sejun’s “firsts” revolved around Cha Dogyeong.

It would be faster to list the things that weren’t. But instead of saying that, Sejun kept his mouth closed. It was because a petty thought had crossed his mind. After all, Cha Dogyeong probably had many others before him.

I’ll tell him next time.

Unaware of Sejun’s sulky thoughts, Dogyeong continued walking, still holding Sejun’s hand.

Sejun muttered the words he hadn’t been able to say earlier under his breath.

“……I’m sorry.”

Cha Dogyeong didn’t respond to those words, which were laden with so many emotions.

His heart, which had been pounding since he’d just confessed, finally began to calm down after quite some time had passed.

The autumn breeze felt just a tiny bit chilly. At this rate, winter would arrive in the blink of an eye, as if autumn had never even existed.

That would mean he’d spent all four seasons with Cha Dogyeong, from late spring when he first received the mission until winter.

Sejun, who had never attached any significance to such things before but was now feeling unnecessarily sentimental, opened his mouth.

“Cha Dogyeong.”

“Yeah.”

“……Should I go back to Seoul?”

A look of surprise appeared on Dogyeong’s face as he glanced back at him.