Chapter 10 – You Can Find Me Anytime

Xie Chengyun drew in a sharp breath. Before his reason could be completely incinerated by the alcohol, he wrenched his wrist free from the younger man’s grasp. “I only have digestive aids, not proper stomach medicine. The pharmacies will be closed at this hour.”

Though his tone was cold, the tips of his ears were burning. He was exclusively gay, and rejecting the advances of a man so exceptionally handsome and well-built was no easy feat. But he had to remember: this was his intern.

“But it really hurts…” Qi Yanze’s eyes fell, his teeth sinking into his lower lip. A fine sheen of sweat was visible on his forehead.

Xie Chengyun could no longer tell if this was an act. Bound by his initial offer of concern, he turned, opened his suitcase, and handed Qi Yanze a box of digestive pills. “Take these back to your room and eat them. You don’t have to return them.”

Qi Yanze simply sank to the floor, leaning against the doorframe, looking for all the world like a large, forlorn dog that Xie Chengyun had just kicked.

“Get up. Could you be any more dramatic? You seemed perfectly fine on the way back. Weren’t you just trying your best to seduce me at the entrance?” Xie Chengyun was beginning to think Wang Zhihe had sent this intern specifically to test the limits of his professional patience.

Qi Yanze said nothing. When he finally looked up, Xie Chengyun saw his eyes shimmering with unshed tears, threatening to spill over at any moment. His handsome face was even paler than before.

“I wasn’t trying to seduce you… I was just showing you where it hurt.”

Xie Chengyun couldn’t be bothered to call his bluff. He turned, handed Qi Yanze the glass of hot water he had boiled before his shower, and said flatly, “Drink this. It will warm you up.”

Qi Yanze accepted the glass and began to take small, tentative sips, the very picture of a poor, lonely student struggling to make his way in the world. He looked so pitiful that Xie Chengyun felt he might develop a split personality just from dealing with him.

“I’m curious… how did you survive studying abroad all alone?”

“Just like this.”

“What did you eat tonight to get your stomach into such a state?” Xie Chengyun asked, crossing his legs as he watched Qi Yanze, who now sat on the edge of his bed, obediently sipping the hot water.

“It was too spicy.”

“I thought you liked Sichuan food.”

“… This was hot pot. And I didn’t expect it to be this spicy.”

There was something unexpectedly endearing in his reply that made Xie Chengyun let out a small chuckle. “Truly the stomach of a young master.”

“I am not a young master…” Qi Yanze muttered, the words barely audible.

Xie Chengyun was busy replying to a message and didn’t quite catch it. He put his phone down a moment later and recalled a remedy his grandmother used to use. He glanced at Qi Yanze’s pale face, which now seemed genuinely twisted in pain. He reached out and began to gently rub the area over the younger man’s stomach. “Try rubbing it like this yourself. It will help a lot.”

He had only made a single circle when his wrist was seized in a firm grip. Qi Yanze was watching him through narrowed, reddened eyes. “It would feel much better if you did it for me.”

Xie Chengyun frowned, about to retort that he wasn’t disabled, when the younger man spoke again, his voice a low murmur.

“No one has ever been this kind to me.”

“What do you mean? This counts as being kind?” Xie Chengyun arched a brow.

“It does… Noticing my discomfort, giving me your jacket, giving me medicine and hot water, and even being willing to rub my stomach.”

Xie Chengyun hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but now that Qi Yanze had listed it all out, he had to admit his actions had been a bit too intimate. “What? When you had a stomachache as a child, did your parents not rub it for you?”

He had no sooner spoken than he noticed the younger man had gone silent. When his gaze fell on Qi Yanze again, he saw him biting his lower lip, not saying a word, seemingly swallowed by a wave of profound sorrow.

“I don’t have parents.”

Xie Chengyun’s hand froze.

“… My mother left when I was very young. I barely have any memory of her. My father passed away a few years ago, but we didn’t have a good relationship.”

“I am sorry… I didn’t know.” Xie Chengyun hadn’t realized his casual remark would uncover Qi Yanze’s family situation. He had always assumed the other was a pampered young master, but it seemed that wasn’t the case at all. “Then… has your uncle been raising you all this time?”

“He has, since my father passed away. But his work and family are all in City B, so for the most part, I’ve been on my own.”

“I always thought you were… never mind, it is nothing.”

Xie Chengyun felt it was inappropriate to pry any further. He looked at Qi Yanze, at the corners of his reddened eyes and the hopeful expression on his face. He truly looked like a love-starved child, wagging its tail and begging for more affection.

Most of the time, Qi Yanze radiated a sharp brilliance, an edge that stemmed from his looks, his temperament, and the halo of his academic background. He was always dazzling, but never blinding. But now, he had willingly shed that armor, exposing a fragile, vulnerable side like a hedgehog showing its soft underbelly. For a rare moment, it managed to touch a soft part of Xie Chengyun’s heart.

He sighed. If this was the environment Qi Yanze had grown up in, then for him to have turned out so capable was truly remarkable. He looked out at the night sky, saying nothing more. He didn’t know how to offer comfort in this situation, nor did he feel it was right to keep digging into the other’s family matters. For their current relationship, delving into such deep scars was already far too intimate. Anything more he said now would feel strange.

…

The room fell into a heavy silence, the atmosphere charged with an unnameable tension. After a long moment, Qi Yanze’s voice broke the quiet.

“Lawyer Xie.”

“What is it?”

Qi Yanze said nothing more. Xie Chengyun had been looking out the window, but when he turned his head, he heard the younger man’s breathing grow heavier. His gaze drifted slowly downward, only to realize that his hand had strayed far below the stomach, almost to the other’s lower abdomen. His hand went rigid; he hadn’t even noticed how far he had been rubbing.

“You should be feeling much better now.”

Xie Chengyun quickly tried to pull his hand away, but Qi Yanze pushed himself up, catching his hand and pressing it flat. He guided it slowly down his own abdomen, his voice dropping into a suggestive murmur. “My stomach feels a bit better, but another place seems to be…”

“Qi Yanze.” Xie Chengyun yanked his hand away, his voice low and firm, interrupting him. A moment ago, his heart had ached for the boy; now, the spell was broken.

“Don’t be nervous, Lawyer Xie.” Qi Yanze raised his hands in a gesture of surrender and shrugged, then smoothly changed the subject. “I never received much affection growing up… so when I am with someone I like, I can’t help but seek their attention, to find my place with them.”

Xie Chengyun lowered his gaze, silent. Seeing this, Qi Yanze suddenly ducked his head, rubbing his forehead against the man’s shoulder. He could smell the lingering scent of perfume mixed with the clean fragrance of shower gel.

“Are you angry, Lawyer Xie?”

“…No.”

Xie Chengyun’s tone was still stiff. Since coming out, his relationships had always been conventional. Though he had dated many and was by no means dense—and considered himself sensitive and understanding—it was obvious that Qi Yanze was in a completely different league. Whether it was seduction or playing the victim, his timing was impeccable, and he was exceptionally skilled at pushing past his boundaries.

He had also been drinking, and with Qi Yanze now rubbing against his shoulder, a wave of heat washed over him.

“Then why can’t you look at me?”

When Xie Chengyun turned his head, Qi Yanze was so close that he had no doubt that if he had turned any faster, their lips would have met.

“What is there to be afraid of looking at?”

Qi Yanze’s face bloomed into that harmless, angelic smile. He blinked. “What type of partner does Lawyer Xie like? Someone so gentle, handsome, and considerate… how perfect would they have to be to deserve you?”

“What? What are you trying to play at now?”

“I am just greedy for your kindness. The thought that your future lover might enjoy this… it just makes me a little jealous.”

“Is that so? You already asked me that last time.”

“But you only said you wanted someone stable. You didn’t say what kind of person.”

“Just finding someone ‘stable’ is hard enough in this circle.” Xie Chengyun looked straight at Qi Yanze, no longer bothering to struggle against the boy’s games. “You’re gay too. Surely you know that?”

Qi Yanze didn’t answer immediately. After a moment, he said, “And besides stable?”

Xie Chengyun felt there was no longer any need for pretense. Perhaps if he laid everything out clearly, the boy would back off. “Xiao Qi, first, I admit that you parading around in front of me every day is very attractive. After all, your looks and your body are superior. It would be hard for anyone to refuse.”

“Then why do you keep refusing me?”

Xie Chengyun took a deep breath. Looking at this face that tormented him day in and day out, it was hard to keep his composure.

“Perhaps I wasn’t clear enough last time. First, I won’t choose someone significantly younger than me, nor do I want to mix personal feelings with work. I have dated men five or six years younger, but school and society are two different worlds. Most of those relationships ended when the novelty wore off.

“Second, I am a bit difficult. I have high standards for a partner. I expect sincerity, honesty, and loyalty. I despise any form of deception in a relationship—for example, you losing interest and trying things with others without telling me.

“And finally, since we’re both gay… I think our roles would clash.”

After his long speech, it was the final sentence that made Qi Yanze pause. Before he could even process what a “role clash” meant, he saw Xie Chengyun’s gaze flick quickly down toward his crotch.

He froze for a microsecond. The thought of being taken from behind had never even crossed his mind. Just imagining it now sent a shudder of revulsion through him.

But Qi Yanze quickly composed himself. Bracing a hand beside Xie Chengyun, he smiled.

“So, Lawyer Xie has already been thinking about what we’d do in bed… you should have just said you were so eager. It seems a man who has been single for a long time has his needs.”

Xie Chengyun realized his serious attempt at a conversation had been derailed once again. His face hardened and he stood up abruptly. The last vestiges of pity and attraction were still warring within him, but now he just felt that it was the alcohol and his long dry spell talking. Having a beautiful man in his room was making him lose his head. He needed to douse himself with cold water and get him to leave before he did any more damage.

He shot up so suddenly that he nearly clipped Qi Yanze’s chin.

“It is eleven o’clock. I’m tired. And since your stomach seems to be fine now, I won’t keep you company any longer.”

Qi Yanze rubbed his jaw and stopped his harassment. He stood up, but just before the door closed, he looked with great interest at the faint outline of the man’s anatomy beneath his bathrobe.

“Whether our roles clash or not doesn’t matter. There are many ways to find release.”

“Besides, I am right next door. If you change your mind, Lawyer Xie, you can find me anytime…”

The young man licked his lips, making a circle with his hand as his eyes took on a deeply suggestive meaning.

Xie Chengyun took a deep breath, pulled his robe tight, and shut the door without a shred of mercy.