OPDPS 76

Was the Grand Duke’s touch gentle, like Connie’s? It felt like there had been a lot of pheromones that time…

Meanwhile, whatever Aeryl was thinking, Loly blinked in confusion.

The bed was soft and cozy, like she could fall asleep right away. But then she remembered the mountain of paperwork and the sharp-eyed Treasury staff, and her mind snapped back to alertness.

“I—I can’t do this. I have a pile of work to get through.”

“Mr. Feyers will take care of it. You can rest, Ms. Loly.”

“But… still…”

Loly lay still, but her nerves were so on edge she couldn’t bear it. Her eyes rolled anxiously from side to side.

“Are you really that worried about work?”

“Of course! Everyone else is having a hard time because I couldn’t do my part. I have to do something right away.”

“Do you often think that way? Even before you go to sleep?”

“I guess I do.”

“When you lie down to sleep, what do you usually think about?”

“Just… the things I didn’t finish today, and how I should do better tomorrow. I think about how I can do better, and I replay the mistakes I made.”

“I see. And how does that make you feel?”

“…”

Loly paused. She wasn’t sure if she should share something so personal, but the words were already coming out. Somehow, it felt okay to be honest with this person. He gave off a sense of safety, like he’d accept everything without criticism or judgment.

“Overwhelmed. Scared and worried.”

“That sounds really hard.”

When Aeryl sympathized, Loly suddenly felt a lump in her throat. She was swept up in a strange urge to tell him everything. It was due to Aeryl’s pheromones, but as a beta, Lolly wasn’t aware of it and just kept talking.

“Yes. It was hard. And scary.”

“What were you scared of?”

“Making mistakes again… and getting scolded.”

Loly had worked really hard for the winter preparations. But when the time came, she couldn’t keep up. Requests for magical help poured in from all over, and though the work was overwhelming, everyone was too swamped with their own tasks to help. If she made even a small mistake, she was scolded harshly. The pressure was immense.

She’d been holding on, just barely. Then she made a critical mistake—reading quantities as amounts—because she was so out of it. Unfortunately, the Grand Duke pointed it out during a full staff meeting. The room went silent, and the Grand Duke called her name.

It was the first time her name had been spoken so coldly, so flatly. Trembling, she walked up to him and looked him in the eye for the first time.

“I was so scared I couldn’t breathe. My fingertips were tingling…”

All he said was, “Redo it.” Just one sentence. But even that had left her feeling like she could barely stay on her feet.

After that, Loly, who had been barely holding it together, completely fell apart. She constantly worried about making mistakes, or worse—not realizing she’d made one. The more anxious and tense she became, the more mistakes she made. And the more mistakes she made, the more anxious she got. It became a vicious cycle.

“In the end, I got scared of using magic. I couldn’t focus anymore, couldn’t sleep… and because I was tired, I made even more mistakes…”

Loly wiped her tears with the hand clutching the blanket. When Feyers reassigned her to easier tasks and told her to rest, it made her feel useless. She couldn’t stand it.

“You must’ve been going through so much alone.”

Aeryl comforted her gently while thinking to himself.

‘Oh no… the Grand Duke again…!’

It was clear Loly had been negatively affected by the Grand Duke’s pheromones. He had already been struggling with emotional control lately—that much had been obvious.

‘I really need to teach him pheromone regulation today.’

Until now, because the Grand Duke was so rational and emotionally restrained, Aeryl had prioritized other lessons over teaching him to control his pheromones. But he couldn’t delay it any longer.

Resolved, Aeryl turned his full attention back to Loly. Listening to her story, it was clear the stress of needing to perform perfectly had made her hypersensitive to mistakes, and exposure to the Grand Duke’s pheromones had only amplified her fear.

“From what you’ve told me, it sounds like you have a deep fear of making mistakes. Do you think you could try to let go of some of that pressure?”

“But… I have to do everything perfectly…”

“Well, for one… I don’t believe it’s possible for a person to work perfectly. Mistakes are inevitable.”

“Really…?”

“Of course. That’s why His Grace didn’t scold you—he just told you to redo it. You could fix it quickly. By the way, is there usually someone who reviews your work?”

“Usually, the person who assigned the task checks it first. Then the department heads review it again, and finally, His Grace sees it.”

“So there are several chances to fix things, even if a mistake happens.”

“That’s true…”

“Do the senior mages neglect you, Loly?”

“No! They really try to look after me. It’s just that they’re so busy, I feel bad…”

“Then rather than struggling alone, why not rely on them a bit more?”

Loly couldn’t answer right away. Everyone else was doing their part even though it was hard. She had an obsessive need to do just as well as the others. That was why, even when Feyers or the other senior mages asked if she was okay, she forced herself to say she was fine and pushed through.

“You’re still a newcomer, Loly. It’s natural to get help.”

“But… everyone’s so busy…”

“Even from their perspective, it’s better if you’re honest and ask for help.”

“Really?”

“Of course. It’s better to pitch in and keep things moving than to let work stall. Plus, it helps keep everyone in the loop.”

“…That’s true. I hadn’t thought of it that way…”

“When people are too tired, their perspective narrows. Don’t blame yourself too much. You did your best.”

Aeryl soothed her. His gentle voice melted the anxiety pressing against her chest.

“Now, just rest. Once you get some sleep, you’ll feel better.”

“Is that really okay…?”

“Of course. Feyers said he’d take care of things. So stop worrying and close your eyes.”

“……”

“Take a slow breath in, hold it for a moment, then let it out.”

With her eyes closed, Aeryl’s voice became clearer. Loly focused on her breathing, just as he instructed. Soon, her racing thoughts faded, and her tense body began to relax.

“……”

She fell asleep without resistance. Aeryl quietly watched her for a while before stepping out of the bedroom. Connie, of course, followed him out.

“How is she?”

Feyers, waiting in the hallway, approached Aeryl.

“She fell asleep.”

“She fell asleep?”

Feyers was shocked. He’d brought Loly to the infirmary several times before when she couldn’t sleep, but nothing ever worked.

“And she told me a bit about what’s been going on.”

Aeryl then shared what Loly had confided in him.

“Oh, so that’s what it was. I asked her if she was okay so many times, and she just kept saying she was fine—but she spilled everything to you, Doctor. What did you do?”

“Nothing special, haha.”

“It’s amazing. Still, she should say something when she’s struggling, not bottle it up alone!”

“She probably didn’t want to burden anyone, since everyone’s so busy. She’s dealing with some insomnia, a little obsessive thinking, and anxiety—but it’s temporary. Once she gets used to the work, it should resolve naturally. Just stay by her and help her along.”

“Of course. Is there anything else I should do?”

“Hmm… There’s that necklace I gave Innis. I think it’ll help Loly too.”

It was the necklace he’d received from Jenx as an apology. It had proven useful for treating Innis, and it looked like it would help this time as well.

“I’ll borrow it.”

“Sure. Oh, and try to keep her from running into His Grace as much as possible.”

“Absolutely. His Grace is kind of terrifying these days. More than usual.”

“Really? Has he changed?”

Aeryl perked up at Feyers’ words.

“Yes. When you’re near him, you start to feel sick to your stomach. Remember how I felt weird in his office earlier too?”

At that moment in the Grand Duke’s office, his pheromones had indeed become unstable. Some betas are especially sensitive to pheromones, and it seemed Feyers was one of them.

‘This could be useful…’

He’d helped this time, so next time, he’d make him repay the favor—with his body, of course. Aeryl chuckled to himself, already thinking about his research.