Chapter 42 – Xing Baichuan 2.0

When Jiangluo was sick, he seemed to become more candid.

Perhaps it was because of his discomfort that he had to shed all his defenses and return to his true self—the self that knew what it wanted, what it needed to do, and what it needed to say, without the energy to overthink. This version of him, surprisingly, was unexpectedly endearing.

He sent me a message, saying he was waiting for me at the coffee shop across from the company.

I didn’t even have time to reply; I just ran downstairs immediately.

There’s a Chinese idiom that goes something like “the heart yearns like an arrow,” and that’s how I felt at that moment—I longed to be by his side instantly.

I owe gratitude to Yi Li. It was precisely because I loved him years ago that I now understand the depth of my feelings for Jiangluo.

Watching him through the glass window of the coffee shop, his hair longer, the bangs slightly covering his eyes.

I tapped on the window, watching his surprised expression, wishing I could reach through and caress his face.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but when you fall in love with someone, you can’t help but see them as a child, wanting to endlessly dote on them, even wanting to do anything for them.

I believe that those I love are worthy of love, because I trust my own judgment and the people I choose to love.

Jiangluo suddenly came to my office, seemingly with something to say. After his fever subsided, my lingering worry faded away.

In the coffee shop, he nestled in my arms, eyes closed, silent. I suspected he might have fallen asleep.

“Jiangluo?” I gently stroked his back, calling out softly, afraid of startling him.

His nose brushed against my shoulder as he quietly responded with a soft “Mm.”

“Want to go home?” I watched the employees leaving the opposite building, among them were some from my company.

He raised his head, looked at me for a while, then sat up straight and took a sip of coffee.

“Did you need something from me?” I felt I understood Jiangluo. Some people can’t be measured by the length of their acquaintance to determine the depth of their relationship. I poured my heart into him without reservation, so when he had something on his mind, I could tell.

Jiangluo looked outside the window, while I kept my gaze on him.

The sky outside gradually darkened, and our reflections appeared on the glass window.

After a moment of silence, he suddenly spoke, “Brother, I…”

For some reason, my heart leapt to my throat at that moment, beating wildly, as if about to explode.

I subtly turned my head, meeting his gaze through the window.

I locked eyes with Jiangluo, and I wanted to kiss him.

The coffee shop was playing music.

Lisa sang passionately,

Once I crossed seven rivers to find my love
And once, for seven years, I forgot my name

Jiangluo’s lips parted slightly; his voice was almost drowned out by the music when he spoke.

But I heard him clearly.

He said, “Brother, I’ve fallen in love with you.”

How do I describe what I felt then? All my senses went numb, frozen in place, unable to regain my composure for a long time.

I must have been trembling, because it was too unbelievable.

The person I secretly and cautiously loved confessed his love to me in a coffee shop on a late spring evening, accompanied by music.

This couldn’t be real, which is why I didn’t dare move, wanting to prolong the moment.

Even if just for a little longer.

I don’t know how long I waited until my faculties resumed their duties. Lisa’s voice returned, singing, “That there once will be a better tomorrow.”

I reached out, turning Jiangluo’s face towards me. When my hand touched his skin, I felt the coolness of his tears on his cheeks.

Initially, he resisted turning around, but despite my reluctance, I applied force.

Facing me, yet unwilling to look at me, such a stubborn person was a first for me.

Confessing to me, yet appearing as if forced, I wouldn’t have much patience for anyone else’s theatrics, but this was Jiangluo, and I knew what he was struggling with.

“Look at me.” I told him.

He hesitated, then finally bestowed his gaze upon me, who had been waiting.

Seeing him like this, I haphazardly wiped his face, smiling and asking, “Why are you crying?”

He didn’t speak, instead taking a tissue from the table to wipe his nose.

I hugged him again. If possible, I would have preferred to kiss him.

I wanted to respond to his confession in a more intense way, because I felt it couldn’t be real.

He had known my younger brother for so many years, loved him for so many years. The pain in his eyes after Bolin’s passing remained etched in my memory. In my heart, I believed he would forever think of Bolin. Though I didn’t want to admit it, I truly thought he would never love anyone else again.

My feelings for him were tinged with sorrow and despair from the beginning, knowing they would never be reciprocated.

But I never expected to hear the impossible person say the impossible words so soon.

If this wasn’t a dream, then perhaps I was hallucinating.

But was it really a hallucination?

No.

I could affirm that I heard his confession clearly.

I wanted to kiss him, possess him, and announce to the world that Jiangluo and I were in love.

Not a doomed one-sided love, but a genuine romance.

Only I knew the emotions and courage he mustered to utter that confession.

I no longer had time to doubt its authenticity, I just wanted to hold him tightly.

I did indeed need time to digest this, but not now. At this very moment, my only task was to hold onto Jiangluo and prevent him from slipping away.

Now that he had confessed to me, he was mine.

I felt a twinge of guilt, as this was something I should have done.

But I thought, if he had continued waiting, he might have spent his entire life waiting for me to say I loved him.

Yes, compared to Jiangluo, I was the coward.

Lisa’s song ended, and I whispered into Jiangluo’s ear, “I’m sorry.”

His whole body stiffened, which was evident when I held him.

I pulled him closer, continuing, “I should have been the one to confess.”

As you know, all moments of warmth don’t last long, because there are always people dedicated to ruining romantic atmospheres.

Before I could tell Jiangluo that I loved him too, the window next to us was tapped.

Outside the window, three troublemakers were shouting and hollering. Even through the glass, I could hear them yelling, “Best wishes to the boss and the boss’s wife!”

Jiangluo certainly heard them as well; he buried his face in my chest, too shy to lift his head.

I raised my hand to shoo away those noisy fellows. Reluctantly, they took photos before running off.

“They’re gone.” I lifted Jiangluo, holding his hand and saying, “Let’s go too.”

This time, holding hands was different, probably because Jiangluo gave me the courage to no longer run away.

The obstacles we faced remained the same. I thought I’d never overcome them in this lifetime, but unexpectedly, Jiangluo had scaled that mountain and dropped right in front of me.

What could be more incredible and exciting than that?

Nothing.

The instant our fingers intertwined, I suddenly felt no regrets in life.

I didn’t want to let go of his hand for even a second, so I held it even when paying at the counter.

The coffee shop staff giggled at us, Jiangluo was a bit embarrassed, but I suddenly felt the urge to show off, pulling Jiangluo even closer.

We stepped out of the store, standing at the entrance. Suddenly, I remembered something very important.

“Jiangluo.” I stopped.

He turned to look at me.

Cars passed by on the road, but at that moment, even the honking didn’t irritate me as much.

I looked at him, slowly raising my hand to kiss the back of his hand.

Then I said, “I love you too.”

I was far from calm, and if not for the fact that we were on a public street, I might have already been spinning Jiangluo around in my arms.

I couldn’t kiss his lips, but there was still his hand and forehead.

There are many ways to express love, and I just wanted him to feel my sincerity.

Jiangluo stared at me blankly, initially seeming not to hear what I said, then his expression became strange, unsure whether he was laughing or crying.

Just as I was thinking about what I should say next, he suddenly shouted at me, then rushed over to hug me.

I didn’t want to think about anything else anymore—about who he once was to someone else, or his physical imperfections. None of these were issues; none of them could stop me from loving him and choosing to be with him.

Jiangluo had been so brave, how could I not respond with a thousandfold love?

On the way home, our hands were still clasped together.

I knew it was unsafe, but forgive me, I really didn’t want to let go of him.

I wanted to ask him why he suddenly confessed to me today, and when he started liking me. There were countless questions, but I didn’t know where to begin.

We walked into his house holding hands, then sat on the couch staring blankly, still holding hands.

Clearly, we were grown men nearing thirty, but we were as sentimental and innocent as teenagers on their first date, sweaty palms refusing to be the first to release.

The house was quiet, then Jiangluo suddenly sneezed loudly.

We glanced at each other and burst out laughing on his sofa.

He curled up in my arms, his shoulders shaking with laughter, which I found utterly delightful. Taking advantage of his distraction, I secretly planted a kiss on the top of his head.

I really wanted to possess him, especially after learning he loved me too.

Our laughter subsided, and we fell silent for a while.

Jiangluo said, “Actually, I made a bet with Yi Li today.”

“Hmm?”

He turned his head to look at me, gripping my hand again. “I know who he likes now—it’s Xu Zhao.”

I didn’t say anything, feeling it was a downer to mention this person at this moment.

Jiangluo continued, “I told Yi Li that I would pursue you, and if I succeeded, he could also successfully forget Xu Zhao.”

I smiled helplessly, not knowing how to evaluate their behavior.

However, at this moment, I was somewhat grateful to Xu Zhao. If not for him, Jiangluo and I might not have confessed our feelings so quickly and smoothly.

“Brother.” Jiangluo sat up, facing me seriously. “Give me some time.”

After saying that, he suddenly leaned in.

A gentle kiss landed on the corner of my mouth.