Chapter 30 – No More Pretenses

The afternoon trek began promptly at two o’clock.

This mountain was known as Bai Shi Shan, named after its white stones that resembled jade. The elevation wasn’t particularly high, with a three-hour hike to the summit. The path was lined with stone steps, making it relatively flat. Trees dotted the landscape, even in winter, providing a lush green backdrop, making it an ideal winter destination.

As they stepped onto the stone steps, Li Tang popped a candy into his mouth, relishing it slowly, licking it rather than biting.

Li Zichu, walking alongside him, asked for a piece of candy. Li Tang pulled out a bag of chips from his backpack and offered it to him instead. “Have these.”

“No more candy?”

“I’m out.”

“Then what’s bulging in your pocket?”

Li Tang quickly covered his pocket, protectively guarding his stash. “I can’t give you this.”

Li Zichu chuckled. “If you won’t give, then I won’t ask. I’ll get Zhou Dongze to bring some for me.”

Zhou Dongze had family matters to attend to and would join them later in the afternoon. He hadn’t started climbing yet.

Li Tang was concerned about him keeping up with the group. “There are no cable cars here. Will he be able to catch up to us?”

After sending a message to Zhou Dongze, Li Zichu stuffed his phone back into his pocket. “How high is this mountain? You think everyone is like you, struggling to run a kilometer?”

Li Tang nearly had a heart attack. “Why have you been…?”

“Becoming more sarcastic?” Li Zichu was self-aware as usual. “It might be because I’ve spent too much time around Huo Xichen. If I’m not sharp enough, he thinks I’m praising him.”

Feeling a pang, Li Tang couldn’t help but agree.

Still, seeing the two of them getting along again brought him joy. Li Tang had subtly confirmed with Su Qinhan before. Huo Xichen wasn’t pursuing her anymore; their encounter outside the music classroom was coincidental. Huo Xichen didn’t enjoy sports and had skipped class.

Li Tang found it all quite baffling. “So why were you both so lost in thought recently, you even cried—”

Li Zichu shoved a handful of chips into Li Tang’s mouth. “No need to dwell on the past.”

Li Tang managed to chew and swallow the chips, regaining control of the conversation. “So, are you keeping your hair long?”

“Next spring.”

“So, where are you two at?”

Li Zichu nearly choked on a chip. “What do you mean, where?”

Li Tang rolled his eyes. “You’re better at pretending to be dumb.”

“Who said I’m pretending to be dumb?”

“Huo Xichen… wait, don’t change the subject.”

“Tsk, you’re getting smarter.” Li Zichu narrowed his eyes. “How did you think to ask that? It wouldn’t be Jiang Lou… hmm, has he made a move?”

Without needing to guess, it was clear that Huo Xichen, the bigmouth, had told Li Zichu about Li Tang and Jiang Lou.

At this point, the four of them had reached a level of honesty, nothing hidden between them.

But such matters were too embarrassing for someone as shy as Li Tang to confess, so he shifted the blame. “Huo Xichen asked me first.”

Li Zichu was initially taken aback, then burst out laughing. “This guy, what has he been pondering behind my back? He should have just asked me directly.”

And so, Li Tang directly asked Li Zichu, who, as expected, shared everything he knew on the subject.

Seeing Li Tang’s eager expression, he had already taken out his phone and opened the shopping website to compare products. Li Zichu reminded him, “Shouldn’t this be something Jiang Lou should research and prepare for? Why are you doing it?”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Li Tang.

Since dating Jiang Lou, Li Tang had been the one taking the initiative—seeking him out, asking him out, going to his house, joining the same winter camp. Li Tang didn’t mind; after all, he was the one who fell for Jiang Lou first. His affection, in both length and depth, surpassed what Jiang Lou felt for him.

But he didn’t mind.

Popping another candy into his mouth, Li Tang thought that as long as he could have this sweetness, this unique affection.

By three o’clock, halfway through the journey, the group stopped to rest on a platform halfway up the mountain.

With the Lunar New Year approaching, there weren’t many tourists on the mountain. The students filled the quiet platform, bustling with those heading to the restroom, seeking food, and taking photos together. Laughter and the chirping of birds echoed in the valley.

After snapping photos with her friends, Su Qinhan sought out Li Tang for a picture together. Li Tang tried to dodge, saying, “I don’t photograph well.” Su Qinhan rolled her eyes. “Please, your face is smaller than my palm. How is that not photogenic?”

Reluctantly, he allowed several pictures to be taken. Su Qinhan had brought an instant camera, and in the developed photos, Li Tang either looked bewildered or screamed for help. In Su Qinhan’s words, he had a look of staunch resistance against being forced into prostitution.

Meanwhile, Jiang Lou sat by the cliffside railing—a picture of solitude. Dressed in black today, the mountain breeze tousled his short black hair, revealing a face chiseled by nature’s hand, beautiful yet radiating a sense of loneliness. Perhaps it stemmed from the inherent melancholy within him.

Li Tang doubted Jiang Lou was unaware of the gazes directed at him, or the sneaky camera clicks capturing his image. He seemed unperturbed, sitting quietly and becoming a breathtaking painting, captivating everyone’s attention.

Li Tang suddenly regretted maintaining distance from Jiang Lou in public.

He realized how petty he was, feeling upset when others glanced at his boyfriend.

Even worse, someone approached him. Li Tang watched as a girl from Class 2, pushed forward by her giggling friends, timidly smoothed her hair and sat next to Jiang Lou.

“Are you alone?” the girl asked.

Jiang Lou turned at the sound of her voice, glanced at her, and turned back. “Yes.”

“Do you remember me?”

“Yes, Wang Yan.”

Wang Yan was the classmate from the neighboring class who had confessed to Jiang Lou at the beginning of their sophomore year, only to call later to say she genuinely liked him.

Jiang Lou remembered; during the sports festival, she had given him water.

He didn’t respond, leaving the atmosphere somewhat awkward. Wang Yan initiated another topic. “I didn’t expect you to participate in the winter camp. Last year, as a freshman, you didn’t come.”

“Mm.”

“So since I saw you get on the bus, I’ve been guessing why you came this time, whether it’s for someone, or… but I haven’t seen you with anyone.”

Wang Yan left her sentence unfinished, intentionally, observing Jiang Lou’s reaction.

However, Jiang Lou showed no discernible reaction.

He merely gave a faint smile.

To Li Tang, this scene appeared harmonious, almost convivial.

It made Li Tang instinctively scratch his hands, trying to resist this unhealthy self-inflicted behavior. He peeled three candies and stuffed them into his mouth, attempting to alleviate the creeping anxiety within.

Fortunately, they were about to resume their journey, and Zhou Dongze had caught up with the group, bringing a substantial amount of “supplies.”

Li Zichu, munching on the sweets Zhou Dongze had brought for him, complained while eating. “Old Zhou, you don’t know how stingy Li Tang is. He won’t even give you a piece of candy to taste.”

Zhou Dongze wasn’t surprised at all, still smiling gently. “If it’s something I really like, I wouldn’t give it away either.”

The second half of the journey proved more challenging.

As the incline steepened, the stone steps became steeper. For students unaccustomed to hiking, there were sections where assistance was required—a push from below or a pull from above—to scale the cliffs.

Thankfully, with Zhou Dongze’s robust physique, things were easier. He climbed up first and then reached back to pull others up, while those further behind pushed the person ahead.

Li Tang wanted to wait for Jiang Lou, intending to fall back to the end, but Jiang Lou didn’t follow. Turning around, he could vaguely see Jiang Lou still walking with that girl, seemingly engaged in conversation.

The students ahead had already moved on, and Zhou Dongze called down from above, “Grab my hand.”

Despite his hesitation, Li Tang took hold of Zhou Dongze’s extended hand.

However, with no one behind to assist him, he relied solely on himself, stepping onto a stone step with one foot and kicking off the rock wall with the other.

Unexpectedly, the stone was covered in slippery moss. Li Tang’s foot slipped, and his body dangled mid-air before plummeting down. His other leg couldn’t support him, and he crashed down, his knee striking the edge of the step with a dull thud.

Such a commotion naturally alarmed the surrounding students and even the accompanying teachers, who hurried over. Together, they helped Zhou Dongze pull Li Tang up.

Though the cliff wasn’t very high, and a fall wouldn’t have been fatal, Li Tang was still shaken.

When asked if he was alright, Li Tang hastily assured them he was fine. However, upon standing, a piercing pain shot up from his knee to the top of his head.

Afraid of appearing weak, Li Tang pretended nothing happened and walked a considerable distance on the mountain trail.

Eventually, Zhou Dongze noticed his pallor and supported him for a while. Approaching the summit, he went ahead to inform the teacher and led Li Tang to the nearest clinic.

Unlike the base of the mountain, the so-called clinic was a half-shed, with only a young doctor on duty.

Fortunately, based on Li Tang’s leg movements, the doctor deduced there was no fracture, just a scrape and slightly swollen wound. After applying disinfectant and prescribing antibiotics, the doctor left for dinner.

After treating the wound, Li Tang hastily stood up, but Zhou Dongze urged him to sit for a while longer. “I’ve already informed the teacher. There aren’t any activities planned for tonight, so there’s no need to rush.”

Li Tang sat back down, rubbing his knee through the bandage, wincing in pain, yet finding humor in the situation. “My knee seems to have a bad luck charm with Xucheng and its surroundings.”

Recalling the previous incident on the playground where Li Tang also injured his knee, Zhou Dongze couldn’t help but bitterly smile. “This time, it’s my fault for not pulling you up in time.”

“It was my own slip; how can it be your fault?” Li Tang responded.

Zhou Dongze shook his head. “You’re not good at sports. At least you should have gone up first.”

Li Tang shuddered at the thought. “I was grateful there was no one behind me; otherwise, stepping on someone would have been disastrous.”

He then urged Zhou Dongze to leave. “Go back first. Don’t miss dinner. The lunch today was delicious; the school really spared no expense this time.”

Zhou Dongze sighed. “Are you so afraid of inconveniencing others?”

“No,” Li Tang reflexively defended himself. “It’s unnecessary. This minor injury, I can sit here alone for a bit…”

“I understand,” Zhou Dongze suddenly said. “You’re just worried about burdening others. You’re just too kind.”

Li Tang lifted his gaze, meeting Zhou Dongze’s penetrating stare, which seemed to harbor other emotions.

His heart tightened. Li Tang’s mind raced, considering whether to change the topic or reaffirm his position. Would it seem too contrived?

Fortunately, at that moment, the clinic door opened, and both inside turned toward the entrance.

Expecting the doctor to return, they were surprised to see Jiang Lou enter instead.

He placed the plastic container holding his meal on the table and sat down in the doctor’s chair.

His gaze swept over Li Tang, settling on Zhou Dongze beside him.

“I didn’t know you were here,” Jiang Lou stated matter-of-factly. “I only brought one meal.”

After Zhou Dongze left, Jiang Lou approached Li Tang to examine his wound, but Li Tang twisted away.

Li Tang warily glanced out the window. “Don’t… what if someone sees.”

Jiang Lou’s already calm eyes turned colder.

In a low voice, he asked, “Why, can he touch you, but I can’t?”

Li Tang was taken aback. “…What?”

“Why did you tell me not to get too close to you in public, but he can? Is it because he has feelings for you, and you enjoy being cared for by him?” Jiang Lou’s tone turned icy. “Is that why?”

Hearing these words, Li Tang was momentarily at a loss for a response, his eyes widening as he drew in a sharp breath.

He struggled to maintain composure, deliberately slowing his speech. “Zhou Dongze is here because he was the first to notice my injury. Just a minute before you came in, I was urging him to go back for dinner.”

“By your standards, does being cared for count as enjoying it? Then what about you, surrounded by girls, being approached by them? Didn’t you enjoy it, considering you never rejected them?”

Li Tang paused, taking a deep breath. “But you refused to wear the clothes I gave you, and now you say I didn’t let you get too close… In these past few months, who has been making the advances, clinging like a love-struck puppy? Who has been indifferent, treating me like a pet, smiling and patting me when happy, ignoring calls and disappearing when not? Leaving me anxious, guessing what you’re thinking…”

By the end, his control had slipped, verging on accusation.

“How could you say such things?” Li Tang’s breathing hitched. “…Do you even know what you’re saying?”

Only at this moment did Li Tang realize that in this relationship, he wasn’t as unassuming and indifferent as he thought. He felt wronged by Jiang Lou’s ambiguous attitude, by the lack of a simple confession of “liking.”

There was also a conflicting emotion—despite wanting to maintain distance, when he fell on the playground or got hurt on the cliffside, he still hoped Jiang Lou would rush over, wanting to see concern in his eyes, rather than the current cold detachment, even under interrogation.

And Jiang Lou, as if awakened by a heavy blow to the head, asked himself, What are you saying?

What have you done? Repeatedly behaving like a jealous lover, uttering such harsh and absurd words—were these truly part of the original plan?

Earlier, when Wang Yan asked, “For whom have you come?” it felt like a bucket of cold water poured over his head. In any relationship, overly invested, almost fawning behavior was a dangerous sign.

When did he begin paying attention to every expression and action, caring about the other’s mood?

Upon hearing Li Tang was injured, his first instinct was to find him. He even resented his impaired hearing for not picking up on the commotion at the time of the accident.

Yet, ironically, his left ear had been damaged nine years ago, losing its hearing. When he was rushed to the hospital, lying alone on the operating table, his guardian, his mother, was accompanying his dear younger brother—the person in front of him, the one who made him an orphan—in playing the piano.

The evening mountain was shrouded in thick fog, visibility decreasing second by second as the sun’s rays were gradually withdrawn.

Leaving Jiang Lou feeling lost amidst the mist.

He couldn’t pinpoint when he became ensnared, gradually forgetting his original intentions.

The only certainty was his fear of danger, his aversion to uncontrollable situations.

The tense atmosphere persisted until Jiang Lou withdrew his hand, and time resumed its flow.

“Since it’s so painful, let’s break up then.”

He didn’t answer Li Tang’s question but instead reached a conclusion, his voice as cold as ice on a frozen lake. “No more pretenses. We can return to a truly distant relationship.”