Chapter 42 – Wishes

Soon, the other classmates arrived one after another.

First came Li Zichu, Huo Xichen, Zhou Dongze, and Su Qinhan, all following Jiang Lou and Li Tang.

Li Zichu and Su Qinhan supported the almost limp Li Tang on either side, while Huo Xichen asked in confusion what had happened. Zhou Dongze had already pushed his way forward, ready to punch Jiang Lou in the face.

Jiang Lou caught his wrist and sidestepped to avoid it.

This wasn’t the time for a fight.

“You should take him to a quiet place where no one is around,” Jiang Lou requested. “I’ll join you once I’m done here.”

Despite their many questions, they knew what was more important. Li Zichu nodded in agreement and said to Su Qinhan, “I can handle it alone. You go back to the classroom and check the other classes to see if anyone is spreading rumors.”

They could hear it was Li Tang’s voice, and so could others.

Su Qinhan nodded, her gaze flickering between Li Tang and Jiang Lou. She didn’t ask any more questions at this moment and turned to leave quickly.

As Li Zichu was about to leave with Li Tang, Chen Zhengyang in the room burst out laughing again, “You think you can hide? Let’s see where you can run. Not fond of playing the hero? I’ll make sure you taste the life of a rat on the street!”

The veins on Jiang Lou’s forehead bulged as he turned around and gave him a hard kick.

Chen Zhengyang clutched his stomach, coughing but laughing even louder, “You clearly hate him too. Why else would you record it? Now you’re pretending to be righteous. You damn faggots, freaks, sick! All of you are sick!”

Seeing other students gathering out of curiosity, Jiang Lou grabbed the wide tape from the table, ripped off a long piece with a loud tearing sound, and wrapped it around Chen Zhengyang’s mouth, leaving him able to only mumble incoherently.

A teacher’s voice sounded outside, asking the students to clear a path. Jiang Lou said to Zhou Dongze, “Please watch him and make sure he doesn’t speak nonsense.”

Zhou Dongze, though reluctant, temporarily followed his arrangement.

Jiang Lou walked out, catching up with Li Tang, who was being supported by Li Zichu outside the broadcasting room.

As soon as he touched Li Tang’s hand, Li Tang shivered and pulled away. Li Tang trembled violently, as if terrified of him, unwilling to open his eyes to look at his face.

Jiang Lou’s hand froze mid-air, as if the oxygen around him had been sucked away, making it hard for him to breathe.

At this moment, he truly understood the meaning of “too late.” He had previously mocked others with these very words.

How ironic.

But there were more pressing matters at hand.

Jiang Lou lowered his eyes as if unable to bear it, then quickly raised them again. “You guys go ahead.”

After that, he headed towards the teachers.

The impact of the broadcast was worse than expected.

Initially, the teachers didn’t think much of it, assuming it was just a student prank, playing an adult film audio over the broadcast.

Later, they realized the boy in the audio was actually a student from their school.

The head of discipline, a middle-aged woman in her forties, felt dizzy from the shock. She sat down for a while before recovering, “Who was it, which student did such an indecent thing?”

Jiang Lou replied, “It doesn’t matter whose voice it is; the key is who played the audio.”

Several staff members of the broadcasting station, except for Chen Zhengyang who was sent to the hospital, were called over.

Wang Yan was so frightened by the serious atmosphere that she dared not even breathe loudly. Now, when the topic of the audio source came up, she hesitantly spoke, “I copied the audio file onto the computer in the broadcasting room, but I didn’t know the password, so I never listened to it. Later, I deleted it…”

“Wasn’t it you who played it?”

“No! I only broadcast on Wednesdays and Fridays. Today is Monday, and I don’t have the key to the broadcasting room.”

“So who was it?”

“It must have been… Chen Zhengyang.”

The head of discipline checked the broadcasting room schedule and found it was indeed him.

“But didn’t you say you deleted the file? How did Chen Zhengyang play it?”

“I, I don’t know myself. I never opened it…”

Wang Yan was a member of the student council, a good student and a teacher’s pet. Her words were naturally highly credible.

Still, the head of discipline couldn’t understand, “Where did you get the audio, and why did you think of playing it over the broadcasting system?”

Wang Yan twisted the seam of her school pants, looking at Jiang Lou with some hesitation.

Since Jiang Lou had come, he didn’t intend to retreat unscathed. He admitted, “I gave her the audio, and I asked her to help me play it.”

Seeing a top student fall from grace, the head of discipline felt dizzy again. “Why would you do such a thing? Just for a thrill?”

Seeing Jiang Lou didn’t intend to answer, Wang Yan said, “He later told me not to play it, so I deleted the file. I didn’t expect Chen Zhengyang to…”

The head of discipline sighed.

No wonder he beat up Chen Zhengyang, breaking his nose.

“In any case, having the thought is wrong. How could you send such an audio to the broadcasting station?”

Jiang Lou didn’t refute a single word. In the face of what had already happened, further explanation was futile.

He asked the teacher, “Please punish me severely, as well as Chen Zhengyang who played the audio. Don’t pursue who was in the audio.”

After receiving a call from the principal, who was out of town on business, the head of discipline’s headache worsened.

She leaned against the desk, took a sip of tea to calm herself, and spoke again, “Both you and Chen Zhengyang were gravely wrong and deserve punishment. But the damage has been done—a high school student recording such indecent things… The boy in the audio also bears responsibility.”

Jiang Lou said, “He is a victim; he doesn’t need to bear responsibility.”

“How do you know he’s a victim? Maybe he did it willingly.”

“Because the audio was recorded by me.”

In the shocked gazes of everyone in the room, Jiang Lou remained composed.

Even though what came out of his mouth was earth-shattering.

“And the other person whose voice was erased in the audio is me.” Afraid others wouldn’t hear clearly, Jiang Lou said each word slowly, “I forced him, made him say those words. So punish me alone; he hasn’t done anything wrong.”

When Li Tang was brought home, it wasn’t yet noon.

Two hours ago, he had collapsed in exhaustion at the school clinic, and the doctor immediately contacted his parents.

When Li Yuanshan and Zhang Zhaoyue rushed to the school, news of the broadcast recording incident had spread throughout the campus. After all, Li Tang had been taken to the clinic under the watchful eyes of many.

When asked why their child had fainted, the doctor awkwardly explained, “It seems to be due to the broadcast, he was shocked.”

On the way to the hospital, Li Tang regained consciousness and insisted on going home.

Zhang Zhaoyue checked his forehead and pulse, eventually acceding to his wishes and taking him home.

Li Yuanshan held back until they entered the house and then erupted, “Tell me first, who was the other person!”

He hadn’t heard the audio himself, only knowing it contained private matters.

Li Tang pursed his lips, not wanting to answer. Li Yuanshan raised his voice, “Speak up, aren’t you usually quite talkative? I pay for your food and clothes, I send you to school, hoping you’ll make something of yourself, and this is how you repay me?”

Li Tang guessed that Li Yuanshan likely assumed the other person was a girl, given his father’s lack of understanding.

He didn’t bother revealing the truth. What good would it do, hiding behind his parents and letting them fight for justice on his behalf?

If there was real justice in this world, Jiang Lou wouldn’t have resorted to such a method for revenge.

Jiang Lou…

Li Tang took a deep breath.

Why did thinking of that name cause a sharp pain in his heart.

Li Tang turned, gripping the railing as he climbed the stairs, with Li Yuanshan following closely behind, “Why aren’t you speaking, are you deaf?”

Hearing the word “deaf,” Li Tang paused in his steps, turning his head to look at Li Yuanshan, “I’m not deaf. There’s someone else who can’t hear. He was harmed by you, by me, by the three of us.”

Li Yuanshan and Zhang Zhaoyue were both stunned.

“Was it that little bastard who told you?” Li Yuanshan reacted first, “I knew it, ever since I heard he was in your class, I knew that bastard wouldn’t have good intentions!”

Zhang Zhaoyue couldn’t bear to listen anymore, “If it weren’t for you forcing me to return home, the two of them wouldn’t be in the same class!”

“Why are you always so sickly, Master Zhang said you’d affect my luck… Besides you two, I have hundreds of people in the company to support, what can I do, what choice do I have?”

“Don’t blame others for your own superstitions. What did Jiang Lou do wrong? He had no one to protect him, his ears were injured, and he refused to accept child support. What did he do wrong? Why can’t he hate us?”

“Don’t drag me into this, I have nothing to do with him.”

“But he’s my son, can’t you—”

“Stop fighting!”

Under Li Tang’s sudden outburst, the argument stopped abruptly.

Three short words left Li Tang nearly exhausted, gripping the nearby railing tightly to maintain his balance.

He had wanted to ask, what about me, whose son am I?

But at the last moment, he felt it was meaningless.

“It has nothing to do with him, don’t go after him.” Li Tang’s lips were pale, and he was at the end of his strength, “It’s my fault, I owe him.”

Back in his bedroom, Li Tang closed the door and sat on the bed.

His phone had been vibrating in his pocket the whole time. He took it out and opened WeChat, seeing messages from his friends.

Most were concerned, seemingly agreeing to avoid mentioning the incident, only asking if he was feeling better and suggesting he get a good night’s sleep and not think about anything.

Only Su Qinhan mentioned it indirectly: “I’ve already called my dad, it’s okay. Once you rest and adjust, feel free to come back to school.”

Li Tang wanted to reply, but his fingers hovered over the keyboard, lost and unsure how to begin.

I’m fine—yet clearly not, saying so would seem so false.

Thank you—not enough without a personal thank you, but would they meet again?

Silently exiting WeChat, right before locking the screen, his phone vibrated again.

Seeing “Jiang Lou” on the screen, Li Tang instinctively began to tremble. He didn’t dare hang up, nor did he dare answer. Frantically, he long-pressed the power button to turn it off, accidentally triggering a screenshot twice.

The phone went black, and the world returned to silence.

Leaning against the pillow, Li Tang slowly lay down on his side, knees drawn toward his chest, arms hugging his body.

It was like lying in a transparent coffin. As long as he held his breath and tried not to make a sound, he wouldn’t be found.

Unfortunately, the day seemed endless. Opening his eyes to glance at the clock beside the bed, less than an hour had passed.

He didn’t seem to have slept, as he hadn’t dreamt. Even though Li Tang was eager to see what happened to the butterfly trapped in the web.

Letting out a long sigh, Li Tang suddenly heard the door creak open.

Zhang Zhaoyue entered carrying a tray. Upon meeting Li Tang’s gaze, she subconsciously dodged it, yet felt compelled to move forward, stuck in a dilemma.

“Woke up?” Approaching the bed, she whispered, “Do you have time to chat for a bit?”

On the tray was a light seafood soup, prepared by the auntie.

It was only today that Zhang Zhaoyue learned from the auntie that Li Tang disliked sour and spicy foods, preferred light Chinese cuisine, and enjoyed bread for breakfast.

Even realizing his dietary preferences made her aware of her own neglect. How much more had she missed over the years?

She didn’t believe Li Tang wasn’t upset, nor did she believe he was completely oblivious.

He was simply too considerate, not wanting her to worry, so he pretended to accept everything.

Picking up a book beside Li Tang’s bed, Zhang Zhaoyue flipped through a page, almost speaking to herself, “I didn’t know you liked reading novels.”

Li Tang pursed his lips.

Actually, he didn’t particularly enjoy it. It was just to improve his essay writing skills, following the recommended reading list provided by his teacher.

If it were before, Li Tang might have enthusiastically told his mother about the stories in the book, sharing his thoughts after reading. But now, he only felt numb, as if he had been exposed to the sun for too long.

Li Tang didn’t respond to that but said, “The other person was him.”

Whom “he” referred to was self-evident.

As Zhang Zhaoyue’s eyes widened in gradual realization, Li Tang added, “Please don’t tell Dad, and don’t let anyone hurt him.”

In fact, Zhang Zhaoyue wasn’t completely unaware.

Before today, she had vaguely suspected something. After all, Li Tang had never invited any other friends to spend the night at home. That time Jiang Lou stayed over, certain things surfaced like the tip of an iceberg.

Today’s situation virtually spelled it out, even without her hearing the audio.

Perhaps only a father as irresponsible as Li Yuanshan would be consumed by money and reputation, completely ignoring his child’s inner world.

Though, Zhang Zhaoyue reflected, she wasn’t much better.

Thus, when Li Tang bluntly stated the answer without being asked, Zhang Zhaoyue felt not only surprise but also a deep sense of shame and embarrassment.

This shame was different from when facing Jiang Lou. With Jiang Lou, she felt powerless. With Li Tang, she could have done something but chose to avoid being kind to him.

The current situation could be described as utterly dire—Jiang Lou had really sought revenge by trying to destroy Li Tang.

Zhang Zhaoyue held Li Tang’s hand, noticing how cold it was.

“Was it, was it Jiang Lou who…?”

“No.” Li Tang said, “I did it voluntarily.”

“I like him.”

For the timid Li Tang, this was akin to announcing it to the world.

From now on, the entire world would know that Li Tang liked Jiang Lou.

Or perhaps “love” would be more fitting. He loved him deeply, even in his current predicament, still defending him to prevent others from harming him.

Of course, such a straightforward confession was also to achieve a desired outcome.

Li Tang allowed Zhang Zhaoyue to hold his hand, allowing her tears to drop onto his hand, and asked, “Since I was five, you haven’t wished me a happy birthday. Is it because I caused Jiang Lou’s father’s death, so I don’t deserve happiness?”

The grip on his hand tightened imperceptibly, and Zhang Zhaoyue looked up. She never imagined Li Tang could be so perceptive, sensing even the subtle differences she hadn’t noticed herself.

She knew Jiang Lou’s father’s death couldn’t be blamed on Li Tang, but the unspoken pain and resentment needed an outlet. Over the years, she carried the burden of guilt, denying herself happiness, and unknowingly punishing Li Tang.

Even though she knew better than anyone that Li Tang knew nothing.

Through her misty eyes, Li Tang saw the answer.

He wasn’t too upset but rather felt a sudden enlightenment. All the past coldness and neglect finally found their reasons.

At least it wasn’t for no reason, Li Tang thought. At least there was a cause.

Just like how Jiang Lou treated me, it was because I was the one who caused him so much pain.

Everything in the world has its cause and effect.

I deserved it, that’s true.

Before Zhang Zhaoyue left the room, Li Tang called out to her, “Mom, be nice to him from now on, okay?”

Her heart stirred at the familiar “Mom,” even though the situation was irreversible.

Not fully recovered from the shock, Zhang Zhaoyue still felt sympathy and said, “Actually—”

“I’m really tired.” Li Tang turned his head away, “I’m going to sleep.”

Zhang Zhaoyue didn’t continue.

For some inexplicable reason, she felt Li Tang might have guessed it already. After all, her acting skills were terrible, leaving countless clues behind.

The door closed again, leaving Li Tang alone once more.

Actually, he wasn’t unwilling to listen to Zhang Zhaoyue. When he was young, he loved listening to her tell stories, wishing she would spend all day with him.

But Li Tang felt he was too stupid, with so many things to do, his mind was in chaos.

He couldn’t process more information for the time being. He needed to calmly tackle each issue one by one.

In the dead of night, Li Tang descended the stairs silently, entering the kitchen.

Standing by the western-style cooking counter for a while, he selected something, and upon returning, he held it in his hand.

Back in his room, he closed the door and locked it from the inside.

Reason told him this wasn’t the most suitable place, but where else could he go?

Time was running out, and he couldn’t wait any longer.

Opening his phone, before making the call, Li Tang glanced at the missed calls—over eighty, seventy-three of which were from Jiang Lou.

From the moment they parted ways outside the broadcasting room, averaging one every ten minutes.

More than when an earthquake struck, and he called Jiang Lou repeatedly.

His finger descended, dialing the number. Almost instantly, as the dial tone sounded, the call was picked up.

It was very quiet on the other end, possibly alone.

So quiet that uneven breathing could be heard. Jiang Lou tentatively spoke, “…Li Tang?”

Li Tang grunted in affirmation, not knowing what to say next.

He was somewhat frustrated. Usually, he tried hard to find topics to discuss, but now, during their final conversation, he was at a loss for words?

For the first time, Jiang Lou seemed more anxious to prolong the conversation, “Are you at home?”

Li Tang grunted again.

“Have you eaten?”

“No.”

“Why don’t you eat?”

“Not hungry.”

“Are you sleepy?”

“A little.”

“Do you want to sleep?”

“I’m about to.”

…

Such a mundane conversation nearly made Li Tang believe that all was well, that nothing had happened.

It was the touch of the cold, hard handle that snapped him back to reality.

And reminded him why he was making this call.

Li Tang said, “Turns out, you were the older brother back then.”

Twelve years ago, he came to Xucheng to find his mother and met an older brother two years his senior in a small house at the foot of the mountain.

He wrote down his name on a piece of paper and asked the older brother if he had seen his mother.

These memories became blurred due to a high fever. A few hours ago, hearing part of it from his mother pieced together the complete story.

No, not his mother.

“She’s your mother.” Li Tang said into the phone. “I’m giving her back to you.”

To Li Tang, the significance of “mother” was clearer to no one more than Jiang Lou.

Li Tang had once said, “Mothers can’t be given away casually, no matter how bad she is, no one can replace her.”

But now, Li Tang was giving his mother back to Jiang Lou.

Jiang Lou’s heart sank sharply, hurriedly asking, “Li Tang, what are you planning to do?”

“Are you listening?”

“Yes.” Li Tang’s voice was still calm, asking on his own, “Then, your hesitation back then, was it because I was your younger brother, so you couldn’t bring yourself to do it?”

Without waiting for Jiang Lou to answer, he continued, “You’re still too kind, just like your father.”

You even gave me a chance to escape.

“You should have strangled me, Brother.”

Li Tang recalled that night in the hotel room when he jokingly asked Jiang Lou if he wanted to strangle him. Jiang Lou said there were cameras everywhere, he wasn’t that foolish.

If only, Li Tang thought, if only I knew earlier, I would have written a suicide note before dying, destroying all possible evidence, ensuring no one could suspect Jiang Lou.

Why didn’t you tell me sooner?

But it wasn’t too late now.

“Was that audio recorded that time? Oh, right… you had a recorder.”

Jiang Lou had said he would make good use of the recorder.

Suddenly, Li Tang felt this call was unnecessary. Everything pointed in a clear direction. How could someone be so foolish not to see it?

Strangely, his heart felt dull as if a crack had just opened, pain seeping in relentlessly, flooding his mouth and nose, blocking his ears.

So he couldn’t hear the voice on the other end of the phone clearly.

Jiang Lou seemed to be saying, no, it’s not like that.

Li Tang furrowed his brows, thinking he must have misheard.

How could it not be? There were only the two of us in that room.

And one last question.

“That night, what wish did you make?”

For a long time afterward, Li Tang regretted not making Jiang Lou reveal his birthday wish, believing that “wishes lose their magic when spoken aloud.”

What a joke. Whatever Jiang Lou wanted to do, no matter the cost, Li Tang would make it happen for him.

How could it not work?

But Jiang Lou said, “My wish is for you to be well.”

The crease between Li Tang’s brows deepened, dissatisfied, “Liar, you’re lying again.”

You’re always lying, acting, deceiving me.

Thinking I’m really that stupid, unable to guess?

“Let me guess.” Li Tang, as usual, pondered guessing Jiang Lou’s win or loss in competitions, “I bet, your wish was, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.”

“Is that right?”

On the other end of the phone, Jiang Lou frantically denied it, saying he was wrong, not that.

He said, my wish was for you to be well, don’t move, wherever you are, don’t move, don’t do anything.

Li Tang didn’t understand why he was so anxious.

Afraid I’ll run away? Afraid I won’t face it, afraid I won’t pay the price for my mistakes?

Li Tang always listened to Jiang Lou, regarding his words as divine guidance. But this time, he decided not to listen.

Because Jiang Lou had been lying to him.

He remembered his birthday last year, when he ran to the foot of the mountain in a mess. Jiang Lou took him in, bought him a cake, lit the candles. But that flickering candlelight, that favoritism that made him so blissfully happy, wasn’t genuine—it was meticulously planned.

Even the once-in-a-lifetime infatuation, and those bits of sweetness he painstakingly gathered from the cracks in the wall, holding them dear in his hands, were fake.

Now, it was finally his turn to act freely.

The vase on the bedside table tipped over, scattering crimson rose petals across the floor.

In contrast, the sharp blade glinted coldly under the lamplight.

In the surging pain like a tidal wave, Li Tang’s vision blurred, as if seeing the butterfly in his dreams break free from its restraints, flapping its broken wings, staggering toward that vast, pure white realm of nothingness.

Vanishing from this world forever.

“Brother.”

“I’ll help you realize your wish right now.”